its been awhile
Well its been almost a year so I should update. Katrina is 4, she's also a pain in the butt who back-talks a lot, but she's really cute so I can deal. So I threw the most funest, craziest party I have ever thrown in my life. Travis and our roommate Josh went to the Cheech and Chong concert Friday so I threw a party. I had Kristal and Ian, my drinking buddies, Kristal is in my day to day life though, okay I dont drink everyday so I worded that wrong... Kristal is my best (girl) friend and I see her everyday, Ian is my drinking buddy and I see him when we drink. I invited this woman (23 years old) who I met once at her daughter b-day party (3) and Kristal and I decided that she was awesome and got her and her kid to come. Travis knows her from work. My friend Tisa couldn't make it so I called up my friend Elizabeth who I hadn't spoken to for 2 years but that's kindof how I am now-a-days. Her mom answered the phone and I told her who I was and she was like "Wow" and I asked Liz if she wanted to party and spend the night and she said "sure!"
So everyone arrived, only Kristal Ian and I really knew each other. Liz and Carmen only knew me but it turned out great. We put on Disney music for the kids but we all sang along and Ian said we all sang terrible. Ian made some margarita's cuz thats his job. We put the kids to bed at like 9 and we partied. So Ian and I were keeping up with each other on drinks cuz thats our thing. But he's been drinking way more than me lately so it takes him alot to get drunk and I haven't been drinking so I got messed up fast. Its hard to recall details.
Well Ian was playing the guitar and asked if anyone had a pick and I said no but Kristal said our roommate had a bunch. So she started running to his room to get them and I tried to stop her because they were the guitar picks from like famous people, his job is setting up the stage for singers and he collects the picks and she was gonna go in his room and get them? I think not, so I tried to stop her, but I was drunk so grabbed on to her and fell and hit my head hard on the closet door and I closed my eyes and wondered why I couldn't move or feel anything. Carmen freaked out and made sure I didn't have a concusion, I was fine and Kristal didn't take the picks.
I had a huge bump on my head though. Somewhere along the lines Kristal threw some of her drink on me and I had to change my shirt, though she didnt throw much I felt that I had to get her back so I took my half full glass and threw it down her shirt. Ian was there and his mouth fell open because I wasted alcohol and when Kristal left to take a shower (I didnt know she was leaving to take a shower) I told Ian I wanted another drink so he poured me one and said "Dont throw this one at anyone, use water if you have to" So a little later Kristal came out only wearing a towel which isn't too odd cuz she has a hard time keeping her clothes on when drunk and she went outside and we got her to come back inside and after a little while she actually got dressed.
Anyway so I went through this "weeping stage" as Ian calls it and I couldn't stop crying and Ryan texted me how the party was going and I said I couldn't stop crying and he texted me not to cuz it would make him sad and Kristal said "Do you want to talk to Ryan" "yeah" "Do you want me to call him " "no" "okay he's on the phone" "what?!" so I talked to Ryan and I couldn't stop crying but I didnt know what was wrong and he recorded the conversation which I listened to today and it was so weird cuz I forgot I said what I did but as I heard it I remembered. Anyway I told him that I wished he was there and after a while I got off the phone and went inside.
Ian and Liz went outside to smoke a cigarette and I was like insane or something cuz I demanded one and like 4 minutes after I was done with it I was just leaning on Ian, Liz was on his other side and had her legs on us and we were just sitting on the futon outside keeping warm and Ryan came out of nowhere and sat on a chair in front of me. I was so shocked I asked "what are you doing here?" "you wanted me here" "What are you doing here?" "I should've came sooner" "what are you doing here?" "are you gonna keep asking me that?" Then Liz was complaining that she was cold so Ian picked her up and carried her inside and Ryan and I talked for a while.
Then Travis and Josh came home. It was funny, I didn't see it but he's never met Elizabeth and when he got home he saw her come out of the bathroom and she was wearing just her shirt and underwear cuz she took off her pants like 3 hours before and she saw him, leaned against he wall for support and gave a face like "who's this guy? Should I put my pants on?" and Travis looked to Kristal and asked "who's this one?" "Elizabeth" "okay..." So he went in his room and saw someone passed out on the bed and figured it was me. I was outside with Ryan. Travis was half way tempted to jump in the bed, cuddle with me and go to sleep. Thats when Kristal walked in the room and told him "Carmen is asleep on your bed" "oh" It would've been funny though if he jumped into bed with her. It would have made a good story for work.
So Travis and Josh came outside, I told them how the party was going and shortly after Ryan left. I went to sleep and at 5:30 woke up and threw up. and I did that every hour till 9:30 I should've at 10:30 but I refused to stay sick all day. So I got up around 1 and Elizabeth made omlets for breakfast and I took her to Albertsons where we left her car and she went home. Everyone else already left. Then Ryan came over and we played this game that we've been playing on the playstation 2 together, something about purple dragons.
Today I went to church with Katrina and Ryan. Travis and Richard went snowboarding. I love going to church and I'm getting better about not spacing out, it was a really good sermon too, it was about how you need to live your life for Jesus and you can't half-ass it and if you do you're not following him at all cuz you either are following him or you're not there's no in between bull shit. Of course our pasture explained this without the use of curse words.
They had this really cool video on it, there was a woman and a guy, the guy though dressed normally, and had short black hair was referred to as Jesus and there was this chair and she told him to sit in it because whoever sits in the chair makes all her decisions and she wanted Jesus to do it. So he said sure and her friend came along and said "hey, my husband and I just got our tax return, you wanna go shopping?" "well, dont you need that money to catch up on your bills?" "well I wasn't going to tell my husband, so do you wanna? "well..." and Jesus quickly said "No." and her friend asked why not and the woman said "well I dont know, maybe, well I have to do things but I'll call you" and while shes saying this she's pushing her way on the chair and when her friend leaves Jesus asks "what's the problem I thought you wanted me to make your decisions?" "You are." and the camera zooms out and they're both on the chair and he says "We can't both be on the chair, its either you or me so which is it?" "Well I dont know" and they both get up and are fighting for the chair and he says "you need to make a choice" "and she yelled "I dont know what to choose!" and the camera shows her holding the chair and Jesus said "you just did"
A long time ago they showed this video and it was describing Jesus in all these words that normally I wouldn't know what they meant but as they were saying them I knew and it was so overwhelming and powerful I almost cried. It was such a wonderful feeling and afterwards I told Ryan that feeling God's presence was better than any feeling in the world and he said "Good. I'll remind you of that the next time you say there's nothing better than money"
Once I start writing I can't seem to stop. I should end this, I've changed a lot since the last time I wrote. I hope I keep up on my journal this time.
So everyone arrived, only Kristal Ian and I really knew each other. Liz and Carmen only knew me but it turned out great. We put on Disney music for the kids but we all sang along and Ian said we all sang terrible. Ian made some margarita's cuz thats his job. We put the kids to bed at like 9 and we partied. So Ian and I were keeping up with each other on drinks cuz thats our thing. But he's been drinking way more than me lately so it takes him alot to get drunk and I haven't been drinking so I got messed up fast. Its hard to recall details.
Well Ian was playing the guitar and asked if anyone had a pick and I said no but Kristal said our roommate had a bunch. So she started running to his room to get them and I tried to stop her because they were the guitar picks from like famous people, his job is setting up the stage for singers and he collects the picks and she was gonna go in his room and get them? I think not, so I tried to stop her, but I was drunk so grabbed on to her and fell and hit my head hard on the closet door and I closed my eyes and wondered why I couldn't move or feel anything. Carmen freaked out and made sure I didn't have a concusion, I was fine and Kristal didn't take the picks.
I had a huge bump on my head though. Somewhere along the lines Kristal threw some of her drink on me and I had to change my shirt, though she didnt throw much I felt that I had to get her back so I took my half full glass and threw it down her shirt. Ian was there and his mouth fell open because I wasted alcohol and when Kristal left to take a shower (I didnt know she was leaving to take a shower) I told Ian I wanted another drink so he poured me one and said "Dont throw this one at anyone, use water if you have to" So a little later Kristal came out only wearing a towel which isn't too odd cuz she has a hard time keeping her clothes on when drunk and she went outside and we got her to come back inside and after a little while she actually got dressed.
Anyway so I went through this "weeping stage" as Ian calls it and I couldn't stop crying and Ryan texted me how the party was going and I said I couldn't stop crying and he texted me not to cuz it would make him sad and Kristal said "Do you want to talk to Ryan" "yeah" "Do you want me to call him " "no" "okay he's on the phone" "what?!" so I talked to Ryan and I couldn't stop crying but I didnt know what was wrong and he recorded the conversation which I listened to today and it was so weird cuz I forgot I said what I did but as I heard it I remembered. Anyway I told him that I wished he was there and after a while I got off the phone and went inside.
Ian and Liz went outside to smoke a cigarette and I was like insane or something cuz I demanded one and like 4 minutes after I was done with it I was just leaning on Ian, Liz was on his other side and had her legs on us and we were just sitting on the futon outside keeping warm and Ryan came out of nowhere and sat on a chair in front of me. I was so shocked I asked "what are you doing here?" "you wanted me here" "What are you doing here?" "I should've came sooner" "what are you doing here?" "are you gonna keep asking me that?" Then Liz was complaining that she was cold so Ian picked her up and carried her inside and Ryan and I talked for a while.
Then Travis and Josh came home. It was funny, I didn't see it but he's never met Elizabeth and when he got home he saw her come out of the bathroom and she was wearing just her shirt and underwear cuz she took off her pants like 3 hours before and she saw him, leaned against he wall for support and gave a face like "who's this guy? Should I put my pants on?" and Travis looked to Kristal and asked "who's this one?" "Elizabeth" "okay..." So he went in his room and saw someone passed out on the bed and figured it was me. I was outside with Ryan. Travis was half way tempted to jump in the bed, cuddle with me and go to sleep. Thats when Kristal walked in the room and told him "Carmen is asleep on your bed" "oh" It would've been funny though if he jumped into bed with her. It would have made a good story for work.
So Travis and Josh came outside, I told them how the party was going and shortly after Ryan left. I went to sleep and at 5:30 woke up and threw up. and I did that every hour till 9:30 I should've at 10:30 but I refused to stay sick all day. So I got up around 1 and Elizabeth made omlets for breakfast and I took her to Albertsons where we left her car and she went home. Everyone else already left. Then Ryan came over and we played this game that we've been playing on the playstation 2 together, something about purple dragons.
Today I went to church with Katrina and Ryan. Travis and Richard went snowboarding. I love going to church and I'm getting better about not spacing out, it was a really good sermon too, it was about how you need to live your life for Jesus and you can't half-ass it and if you do you're not following him at all cuz you either are following him or you're not there's no in between bull shit. Of course our pasture explained this without the use of curse words.
They had this really cool video on it, there was a woman and a guy, the guy though dressed normally, and had short black hair was referred to as Jesus and there was this chair and she told him to sit in it because whoever sits in the chair makes all her decisions and she wanted Jesus to do it. So he said sure and her friend came along and said "hey, my husband and I just got our tax return, you wanna go shopping?" "well, dont you need that money to catch up on your bills?" "well I wasn't going to tell my husband, so do you wanna? "well..." and Jesus quickly said "No." and her friend asked why not and the woman said "well I dont know, maybe, well I have to do things but I'll call you" and while shes saying this she's pushing her way on the chair and when her friend leaves Jesus asks "what's the problem I thought you wanted me to make your decisions?" "You are." and the camera zooms out and they're both on the chair and he says "We can't both be on the chair, its either you or me so which is it?" "Well I dont know" and they both get up and are fighting for the chair and he says "you need to make a choice" "and she yelled "I dont know what to choose!" and the camera shows her holding the chair and Jesus said "you just did"
A long time ago they showed this video and it was describing Jesus in all these words that normally I wouldn't know what they meant but as they were saying them I knew and it was so overwhelming and powerful I almost cried. It was such a wonderful feeling and afterwards I told Ryan that feeling God's presence was better than any feeling in the world and he said "Good. I'll remind you of that the next time you say there's nothing better than money"
Once I start writing I can't seem to stop. I should end this, I've changed a lot since the last time I wrote. I hope I keep up on my journal this time.