(no subject)
too early to be up on a saturday morning. i reckon my body is preparing me for lack of sleep for the baby. i am ready for baby, do not want to wait another 26 weeks!!! i am ready to hold her (or him) and for jakie to hold the baby and to just have her/him here with us. very ready.
as you can see (and i'm impressed she figured out how to post), heather and her son came over yesterday/last night, for quite awhile. the rest will be cut for length, but our visit was interesting, to say the least.
yesterday was the first time since the summer, since her and bills split up, since she has been off of the drugs, that she and i have sat down to talk, REALLY talk. probably in several years, as a matter of fact. and it was good and much needed. she told me some things that shocked me, that made me feel decieved (and not by her) and i was just, without words on some of it. i filled her in on some things, my input, and she really wasn't surprised at all. i generally don't claim to be naive very often... but i think the sheep pulled the wool over my eyes on this one and all i can say, is good riddance. i felt angry last night, a very strong dislike and disappointment. that part of the conversation quickly ended, and we talked about our last 6-7 years of friendship, the ups and downs, the good and bad and it was great. you all know that i have commented before on heather constantly calling... she commented last night on someone who constantly, she said almost freakishly, texted her and i was like HA! there! that is how you used to call when you were effed up, at all hours of the night. she just sat there and shook her head. said that there is so much she doesn't remember about those times. probably the last 2 years being her worst.
she's so different now, she's still heather, still crazy, but she's coherent, she remembers, she laughs, truly laughs and she's not constantly making calls for another hook up. i'm very proud of her for what she has overcome. and she is too. bill is, christian is. it was great to have her over and i def hope we can spend more time together. and we will, we agreed last night. she says i am different now also, and maybe i am, but maybe it's b/c we are seeing each other in a different life, without substances, and when we are both at very different parts of life than we have been in the last year or two or three.
we talked about the old days, back when we first met, our escapades, when we used to roll all the time. hanging out with her and bill, or at different gatherings, our little secrets the world wasn't ready to accept back then (that everybody knows now) and alot of laughs. bill stopped by for just a few, to check on us (and heather, he still worries when she is gone for awhile) and he laughed at us for being giggly and girly. but he also said it was good to see.
we have a bond. we really do. we get certain parts of each other that other people may not out of judgement, or closed minds. we can not talk for a few months, and catch back up. she knows she can call me no matter what and if i'm pissed, i'll still be there for her. we talked about the fight we had earlier this year, the actual fight we had at bills bday party. she was upset also, but didn't care b/c of the pills. that fight is one that she's had to talk about in her counseling. she's seen me through alot, alot more than most, present for the worst in me, i was there for the worst in her, and here we are. i feel good right now that i have that friend. mind you, she isn't a beth, no on else could be, or even a jamie, but she very well could come close and she certainly knows just as much as they do b/c where they get stories in some areas, heather was there. i sometimes say i can't trust her, but there really is alot she knows that she hasn't shared.
the boys had a blast, at one point when we were sitting on the front porch, jakie came out and said he and christian were best friends. it was so cute. we had chinese, we ate brownies and we chatted. great night.
as you can see (and i'm impressed she figured out how to post), heather and her son came over yesterday/last night, for quite awhile. the rest will be cut for length, but our visit was interesting, to say the least.
yesterday was the first time since the summer, since her and bills split up, since she has been off of the drugs, that she and i have sat down to talk, REALLY talk. probably in several years, as a matter of fact. and it was good and much needed. she told me some things that shocked me, that made me feel decieved (and not by her) and i was just, without words on some of it. i filled her in on some things, my input, and she really wasn't surprised at all. i generally don't claim to be naive very often... but i think the sheep pulled the wool over my eyes on this one and all i can say, is good riddance. i felt angry last night, a very strong dislike and disappointment. that part of the conversation quickly ended, and we talked about our last 6-7 years of friendship, the ups and downs, the good and bad and it was great. you all know that i have commented before on heather constantly calling... she commented last night on someone who constantly, she said almost freakishly, texted her and i was like HA! there! that is how you used to call when you were effed up, at all hours of the night. she just sat there and shook her head. said that there is so much she doesn't remember about those times. probably the last 2 years being her worst.
she's so different now, she's still heather, still crazy, but she's coherent, she remembers, she laughs, truly laughs and she's not constantly making calls for another hook up. i'm very proud of her for what she has overcome. and she is too. bill is, christian is. it was great to have her over and i def hope we can spend more time together. and we will, we agreed last night. she says i am different now also, and maybe i am, but maybe it's b/c we are seeing each other in a different life, without substances, and when we are both at very different parts of life than we have been in the last year or two or three.
we talked about the old days, back when we first met, our escapades, when we used to roll all the time. hanging out with her and bill, or at different gatherings, our little secrets the world wasn't ready to accept back then (that everybody knows now) and alot of laughs. bill stopped by for just a few, to check on us (and heather, he still worries when she is gone for awhile) and he laughed at us for being giggly and girly. but he also said it was good to see.
we have a bond. we really do. we get certain parts of each other that other people may not out of judgement, or closed minds. we can not talk for a few months, and catch back up. she knows she can call me no matter what and if i'm pissed, i'll still be there for her. we talked about the fight we had earlier this year, the actual fight we had at bills bday party. she was upset also, but didn't care b/c of the pills. that fight is one that she's had to talk about in her counseling. she's seen me through alot, alot more than most, present for the worst in me, i was there for the worst in her, and here we are. i feel good right now that i have that friend. mind you, she isn't a beth, no on else could be, or even a jamie, but she very well could come close and she certainly knows just as much as they do b/c where they get stories in some areas, heather was there. i sometimes say i can't trust her, but there really is alot she knows that she hasn't shared.
the boys had a blast, at one point when we were sitting on the front porch, jakie came out and said he and christian were best friends. it was so cute. we had chinese, we ate brownies and we chatted. great night.