(no subject)
My little sister is AMAZING. Seriously. I look at her and I still see the precious, awkward, naive girl that I always knew, but I see that girl through the lens of this beautiful, successful, talented young woman who exists today. When we were in 4th grade, Stephanie Papes wrote a poem for class about how her little sister was her hero, because Lauren looked up to her so much, and that made Stephanie want to be a better person. I guess I have always understood that, but never as much as I do these days. I am so in awe of all that Kelly is, she truly makes me want to be the best person that I can be. It feels sort of like being in love, and wanting to make yourself better so you can feel like you deserve your significant other. Except this is my sister. And I want her to be just as proud of me as I am of her, every single day. And it just sucks that I have to miss her daily living.. we're never going to be together again the way we were when we were growing up. I'm rambling now. The point is that I care about and love Kelly more than I care about myself.
I am also immensely happy with Danny. I love that when I come home we just spend all of our time together. He turned 22 yesterday, and as scared as he was about it, I know that he is ready to grow up and start living his life. He has so much potential it's unreal. Not to mention he just makes me laugh like nobody else in the world. I miss him so much whenever I'm away at school.
Sometimes I feel like a needy boyfriend to both of my siblings, haha. Kelly is me my senior year, busy as hell. And Danny just sucks at texting back. I wrote a few entries ago about how I was always sort of the glue that held the three of us together, and I still feel that way. I guess I just never realized how much I needed to be that glue. How much I worry about them when I'm not here to take care of them. When I can't sit up with Danny watching Lost, drinking, and telling him everything, and when I can't wipe away Kelly's tears and listen to her heart.
I think what I'm trying to say is that I love them both so much. I love my family so much and I just feel so sad for people who don't have this relationship with their families. And I feel so sad for people who have never had the opportunity to experience the depth of a sibling relationship. It truly is the most amazing thing in my life.
I am also immensely happy with Danny. I love that when I come home we just spend all of our time together. He turned 22 yesterday, and as scared as he was about it, I know that he is ready to grow up and start living his life. He has so much potential it's unreal. Not to mention he just makes me laugh like nobody else in the world. I miss him so much whenever I'm away at school.
Sometimes I feel like a needy boyfriend to both of my siblings, haha. Kelly is me my senior year, busy as hell. And Danny just sucks at texting back. I wrote a few entries ago about how I was always sort of the glue that held the three of us together, and I still feel that way. I guess I just never realized how much I needed to be that glue. How much I worry about them when I'm not here to take care of them. When I can't sit up with Danny watching Lost, drinking, and telling him everything, and when I can't wipe away Kelly's tears and listen to her heart.
I think what I'm trying to say is that I love them both so much. I love my family so much and I just feel so sad for people who don't have this relationship with their families. And I feel so sad for people who have never had the opportunity to experience the depth of a sibling relationship. It truly is the most amazing thing in my life.