It's not your fault so please stop your crying now.
I feel like nothing will ever go right. Did I do something to make everything go so terribly wrong?
The only good thing is that I totally believe that bad things happen in threes so I am done.
Ryan, Josh, Casey... I am done being fucked over. Maybe the next guy might be decent. That somewhat brightens my spirit.
I van is in the hospital again and I can't take it. I hate seeing him there. It upsets me so much because I know I can't DO anything. I feel useless sitting there watching him sleep. I am going down to Philly sometime this weekend but I feel like such a horrendous person. I encouraged him to get the colostomy which has made his life complete hell for the past month. Guilty... really that is what I feel.
It just never seems to end. I feel like such a wreck. And to top everything off I am getting a sinus infection.
There are 31 more days in the year and I plan on living each and every one as though maybe it is the last. This year was probably the best [ excluding the past few weeks] I have ever had. I have grown so much and I know I have done so much. I can't quite find the words to fit it correctly. I am starting my advent calendar today. I haven't done one of those since I was 10 but my mother bought one for me and I have every intention of following through with it.
This abundance of crap in my life seems to be taking a toll on me. I knew my dad wasn't good enough to be home. I just could feel it. I had dreams where he got even sicker and they really scared me to the point I didn't want to tell anyone... and I didn't . I hope and pray that he'll be ok. The doctors have so much to explain to me. WHY? I won't get myself started because I can rant.
I love all my friends for being so supportive. Two of my closest friends came to visit me after work yesterday when they found out what happened. It so sweet of them and I really did appreciate it.The sweet emails and hugs really do help. So... thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I'll never really be able to repay you the way I wish I could.
The only good thing is that I totally believe that bad things happen in threes so I am done.
Ryan, Josh, Casey... I am done being fucked over. Maybe the next guy might be decent. That somewhat brightens my spirit.
I van is in the hospital again and I can't take it. I hate seeing him there. It upsets me so much because I know I can't DO anything. I feel useless sitting there watching him sleep. I am going down to Philly sometime this weekend but I feel like such a horrendous person. I encouraged him to get the colostomy which has made his life complete hell for the past month. Guilty... really that is what I feel.
It just never seems to end. I feel like such a wreck. And to top everything off I am getting a sinus infection.
There are 31 more days in the year and I plan on living each and every one as though maybe it is the last. This year was probably the best [ excluding the past few weeks] I have ever had. I have grown so much and I know I have done so much. I can't quite find the words to fit it correctly. I am starting my advent calendar today. I haven't done one of those since I was 10 but my mother bought one for me and I have every intention of following through with it.
This abundance of crap in my life seems to be taking a toll on me. I knew my dad wasn't good enough to be home. I just could feel it. I had dreams where he got even sicker and they really scared me to the point I didn't want to tell anyone... and I didn't . I hope and pray that he'll be ok. The doctors have so much to explain to me. WHY? I won't get myself started because I can rant.
I love all my friends for being so supportive. Two of my closest friends came to visit me after work yesterday when they found out what happened. It so sweet of them and I really did appreciate it.The sweet emails and hugs really do help. So... thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I'll never really be able to repay you the way I wish I could.