Lonely, I'm Mister Lonely....
I feel so alone. I have people all around me and there is never a dull moment, but just because you aren't alone doesn't mean that you aren't lonely.
Danny's been gone for far too long. I hate this. The same thing happens every time he goes away for his job. His boss tells him that it's a one to two week job. He makes sure that's all it will be. And then 6 weeks to two months later he comes back. He's been to Maine and Pennsylvania before and it's always the same. Last time he was in Pennsylvania. I was at my mothers for a vacation. I was supposed to be there for like 10 days and I stayed for a little over a month, just so I wouldn't be by myself. I came home and he was back the next week. Now, the job that he's doing was supposed to be done on the 22nd. The company got an extension until the 31st, but I know he'll be there until the middle to end of January. It's like I'm living as a single parent with just the monetary support. This is crappy. And then, when I call him (cause he never calls me), he's always still working, taking a shower, or grabbing something to eat. I talk to him for like 10 minutes a day.
I have my mother, who has been the biggest help to me, because without her and my step dad, my kids would be living off of fast food and sleeping in dirty clothes. But, still, it's not like I can just pop into the shower or vacuum the floor or whatever. Everything has to be when it can be done. I have to wait until simon is sleeping to take a shower, which means, I either get to shower at night, or not at all. There are constantly toys to be picked up in the living room, and since the boys bedrooms haven't been painted or arranged, I have all the toys downstairs in the living room, which is overly crowded as it is.
So, I guess, at some point, things can only get better. There is more money coming in, which means, hopefully, all of the bills will be caught up, although my gas and electric bills are outta this world. Danny would have to work 4 weeks in Maine just to pay those off. But, little by little things are getting done. My truck is back on the road. So, next is the maintenance of that and the cable and other miscellaneous bills. ugh... it's just so exhausting. lol.