(no subject)
So you'll never guess what happened. Its actually quite odd...but in a good way. i kinda hooked up with someone who i've been really REALLY good friends with for a long time. In fact, he's like my best guy friend but ever since freshman year we've had this strange crush on eachother...but nothings ever happened, until last night. I still am kinda getting used to the idea. Its weird because i always knew we would hook up but i always thought we would be drunk...and we were REALLY sober. I dunno, it makes me smile thinking about it. It might take me awhile to get used to.
That brings me to my next point. I am officially not going to hook up with josh anymore. Part of me is sad about it because i really liked hooking up with him and hes a really nice guy, but the truth is, i wasn't satisfied. Sexually, god yes, but i have come to realize that my emotions are more important than sex (i know, what a revelation!) He didn't treat me the way i deserved. Finally for once i am admitting that i need someone who is there for me emotionally and not gonna fuck around on me. I haven't had that for awhile...since russell actually and we all know how that turned out. I think the reason why i've been with all these guys who only give me what i need half the time is because some part of me inside is so scared of getting attached and then getting fucked over again. But the truth is, with Josh, he was really sweet and made me really ahppy when we were together, but then when we weren't, he treated me kinda weird. I dunno. Not gonna happen anymore. I deserve someone who gives there all to me...just like i do for them.
That brings me to my next point. I am officially not going to hook up with josh anymore. Part of me is sad about it because i really liked hooking up with him and hes a really nice guy, but the truth is, i wasn't satisfied. Sexually, god yes, but i have come to realize that my emotions are more important than sex (i know, what a revelation!) He didn't treat me the way i deserved. Finally for once i am admitting that i need someone who is there for me emotionally and not gonna fuck around on me. I haven't had that for awhile...since russell actually and we all know how that turned out. I think the reason why i've been with all these guys who only give me what i need half the time is because some part of me inside is so scared of getting attached and then getting fucked over again. But the truth is, with Josh, he was really sweet and made me really ahppy when we were together, but then when we weren't, he treated me kinda weird. I dunno. Not gonna happen anymore. I deserve someone who gives there all to me...just like i do for them.