(no subject)
It seems like i usually use livejournal for a sort of rant. Oh well, i guess thats what its good for. I guess i just feel kinda lost right now. Just ahving written that down seems really wrong. Let me correct myself. I actually don't feel lost at all. I feel really strong and capable and i know exactly who i am. The problem is that i'm confused. Not lost. I hate being confused to. Those of you who know me well know that i like to have things exactly the way i want, unfortunately, most of the time things don't work out that way at all. Right now i'm in a confused place with someone, and i really don't like it at all. Sometimes when i think about it i feel like everything is just fine and then sometimes i think about it and i feel like all is lost. The thing is though, i am sick, pmsing, and feeling just a little bit down right now, so i realize that i am making bigger deals about things than i should be. It still sucks though. At least i realize that the worst thing that could happen actually isn't even that bad and i would get over it pretty quickly i'm sure (now hopefully i wont have to and all of this will work out just fine...but you never know.) I guess the worst part is how goddam happy iget sometimes, i really hate feeling it all crash down. I guess i just have to remind myself that i have a great family, (even though its doesn't always feel that way) great Friends! Thankyou so much for being there for me! Especially emi. i love you so much. School really isn't that bad either i hate to admit. I mean, i really dont wanna be there any more, but i have been relaxing more and getting just as good of grades (and if i get a few b's i dont give a fuck!) Well, i'm gonna go to the gym with emi and go get some food. I'm feeling better already after getting all of this shit out. yay! hopin for the best!