*sigh*

[littlekitty78]

I actually had a mental breakdown a couple of times at work. Stuff is so overwhelmingly hard right now. Hubby lost his job and just got another one. I couldn't support both of us on one salary- so I rented out my other place and moved in with his friends. The place is bigger- but I'm so fucking stressed. I have to lock myself in the room to get some space, hubby seems worried about me. We argue sometimes- sometimes it works out. I'm seeing a shrink to get things straight. I have so many negative thoughts going through my head at once- people telling me its not going to be okay, i should have done this and that- I need some positive motivation. My husbands not positive enough- not supportive. Its hurts, we talk but its a wall. Nothing there. The shrink tells me to keep my voice- keep telling him what I need help with and keep the responsibility on him. It helps, but its still not enough. Mommy helped me out this month with rent and bought me some stuff for my birthday. My 30th birthday was last Sat. and I didn't even care. Just didn't feel like anything. I bought I positive book for motivation and to in some good energy so that helps. I've applied for part-time jobs, but no calls back yet. At least that will eat of most of my time.
I'll be in NY next week for business so its going to be like a vacation for me :) Looking forward to getting away :D

Oh yeah my graduation ceremony is Oct 19 at Constitution Hall :) I get to wear the robe again!