An unexpected Gift
Today at work someone gave me something very precious. One of the bartenders, Janice, stopped me before I left and asked me "When I would know?"
For those of you who don't know, a few weeks ago, I visited the big apple for a long awaited, well needed, vacation / visitation of several schools.
I finally got to look around inside Juilliard, and take a tour. (I wasn't impressed) Collumbia, The New School, New York Film Academy, and Tisch (NYU). I stepped into Tisch, and it felt like I had come home. There's way more to it than that, but that's all you'll get tonight, and trust me, I'm sure about this.
Their date for transferring was April 1st. That meant I had to get a big pile of difficult to arrange stuff togeather, at the last minute. <- but I did, and I'm awaiting an answer.
So that's what Janice was referring to when she asked me when I'd know.
I told her that I didn't yet, but that I was "trying very hard not to think about it or to get my hopes up." (and I'm not so I'm a little better prepaired if I don't get accepted, since all my eggs are in one basket for the time being)
She exhailed, and said, "Ya know your not very - up on yourself, and I don't know why. I think you'll get in."
I smiled, thanked her, and left.
Lately I've been questioning most everything I do. How it stacks up to my age, how I'm doing... etc. I Would like to be confident, though being reminded night after night that I'm just different from everyone else at Clyde's (my work) and being now thoroughly rejected by the MC croud leaves me feeling volnerable and unsure.
Can I do this?
Yes I can.
But it's hard for me to focus on that when I'm exausted and it feels like no one likes me.
I respect Janice's opinion a lot. She's someone who's amazingly no nonsense, so I'm able to trust her opinion unquestionably, because she's ballsey and honest and she's got her shit togeather. So I believe her when she tells me I can do it. Because she doesn't seem to have an ounce of bullshit in her, and if Janice say's so, it MUST be so.
And it ment a lot to me.
For those of you who don't know, a few weeks ago, I visited the big apple for a long awaited, well needed, vacation / visitation of several schools.
I finally got to look around inside Juilliard, and take a tour. (I wasn't impressed) Collumbia, The New School, New York Film Academy, and Tisch (NYU). I stepped into Tisch, and it felt like I had come home. There's way more to it than that, but that's all you'll get tonight, and trust me, I'm sure about this.
Their date for transferring was April 1st. That meant I had to get a big pile of difficult to arrange stuff togeather, at the last minute. <- but I did, and I'm awaiting an answer.
So that's what Janice was referring to when she asked me when I'd know.
I told her that I didn't yet, but that I was "trying very hard not to think about it or to get my hopes up." (and I'm not so I'm a little better prepaired if I don't get accepted, since all my eggs are in one basket for the time being)
She exhailed, and said, "Ya know your not very - up on yourself, and I don't know why. I think you'll get in."
I smiled, thanked her, and left.
Lately I've been questioning most everything I do. How it stacks up to my age, how I'm doing... etc. I Would like to be confident, though being reminded night after night that I'm just different from everyone else at Clyde's (my work) and being now thoroughly rejected by the MC croud leaves me feeling volnerable and unsure.
Can I do this?
Yes I can.
But it's hard for me to focus on that when I'm exausted and it feels like no one likes me.
I respect Janice's opinion a lot. She's someone who's amazingly no nonsense, so I'm able to trust her opinion unquestionably, because she's ballsey and honest and she's got her shit togeather. So I believe her when she tells me I can do it. Because she doesn't seem to have an ounce of bullshit in her, and if Janice say's so, it MUST be so.
And it ment a lot to me.