Aug 01, 2010 00:03
Something that makes me sad is the racism in our community. Yeah, we get problems with whites being pretty raunchy to us; but when we start turning on our own people, things are pretty bad. In an interview on youtube, one of our people repeatedly accuses another individual of making friends with "half-breeds" and other similar remarks. He accuses the person of promising the people enrollment, and that's why the man had so many supporters. In an article I read, another native expressed disgust about "IFI's" or "Illegal Fake Indians."
First off, I should point something out. I am not enrolled anywhere. My bloodline is too diluted to get me a card. However, I grew up going to Ceremonies at least 3 times a year, if not all 4. I grew up spending huge blocks of my summers on the Rez, and not just one in one place but all over WI and MN and even in Canada! I have a bundle that I pull out and smudge with, and just got new medicines for it because my others had run out or were too old. I've spoken a native language, and am re-learning it. I've been to lots of powwow's and even served as a Princess once. I've been accepted as one of the people, and I know I am in my heart. The only difference between me and these people who tout such hatred in their hearts to me (or un-enrolled people LIKE me) is a piece of paper.
With that piece of paper they feel empowered. They can get special benefits in both their community and the community abroad. They get special recognition and privileges that others don't. I'll admit, I want that stupid piece of paper too. I envy those who have it. Not for the reasons you think though. Yeah, it'd be nice to be able to have the privileges, but mostly I want it to make them back off of me. I get racist remarks from both communities. I'm not white enough for the white people, but at the same time since I don't have a piece of paper and I have fair skin I'm not Native enough for the Natives.
I've watched dark skinned Natives (you know, the stereotypical looking ones) push around fair skinned (blonde hair, blue eyes, et all) and exclude them, to then be corrected and find out that the person they were pushing away was actually card carrying. The end reaction of that was depressing to say the least, and the honor of the young man who was dishonored was inspiring to see. He took the snide remarks and the hatred with such dignity and poise. I know that seeing and hearing what they said and did (to his face and behind it) hurt me. He shrugged it off and moved on. I want to be able to do that, but I'm missing something that he has. I'm missing that piece of paper. The reassurance that I do really belong there with my people.
I'll admit, for the longest time I had this great hatred in my heart. I was racist too. I still am actually, but every day I fight it. I hated white people. I hated everything they did to me and my people. The entire history of their arrival and then behavior and treatment of the native community. I also hated them because so many of them hated me for who I was. I hated that I couldn't be accepted fully anywhere, and so I chose the community I wanted to be in and hated the other. I like to think I came a long way. Some of my best friends are white, and I even married a white guy (though, he looks more native than me.)
This can be taken the wrong way but I'm going to say it regardless. Have you ever noticed that NO OTHER ETHNIC OR RACIAL GROUP IN THE COUNTRY has enrollment cards? No one else has to prove their parents were someone or from somewhere. Just Native Americans. It's as if it's some kind of twisted pedigree program. "Quick, lets make them have to keep purity papers to be considered 'real people' that way they don't mix with the normal population." Or even worse, "Make sure you give them papers, just like a prize dog or cat, gotta watch that linage!" I admit those papers give them advantages over non-papered people, but do we HONESTLY need to keep treating our own people like that? It's sickening for me to think that my people have a pedigree program; in some nations, if you marry someone of the same tribe but from a different rez your kids can't get enrollment papers because of red tape and bureaucracy. We're our own worst enemy. Our culture is being washed away by "modern life" and we're busy being worried about a damned piece of paper and how much money the casino made and what our cut of it is!
Now, I'm not saying that arms should be opened wide to everyone. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be proud of who we are. Heck, I'm not even saying that the card system should go away. I'm saying that the racism should stop. I can understand the anger toward people like me. I can understand how frustrating it can be to see people who don't deserve things get them. Yet, there has to be a happy line somewhere in there. Some place where those of us who can't get papers can stop being bullied on both ends.
thoughts,
family,
self,
ranting