Saturday is my mom's 62nd birthday thoughts and memories

[littlegirl91186]

Ok so this Saturday would be my mom's 62nd birthday WOW! When she passed away she was only 54 years old. She was still young when he took her. I still remember that day like it were yesterday. I remember the day before it so well to. I never thought it would happen. You were so strong Mom I wish you were still around. When you died I was so lost I couldn't sleep at all and when I did it was during school I would hardly eat anything. I would sit and stair at you picture and just cry for hours. I still cry to this day time to time. That day before you died was so hard for me. When I got there Father Joe was giving you your last rights I walked in and saw auntie Linda standing there watching as he proceeded and she was just crying I couldn't stay in there I ran out crying. I then stood in the hall way with Mel and Michelle while Dad went in there with you. After Father Joe was done with you he came out to talk to me and said God would take good care of you and for me to be strong. You were so bad the nurses had to come in and change you and your bed and they decided to put you into a private room because you were so bad. While the nurses were changing you and getting you ready to get put into a private room we all went down to the lobby of Saint Vincents Hospital to the little food court. Everyone was like Serena eat I was like no I am not hungry don't force me to eat I will eat later. So I just sat there drinking my drink as they all ate I just couldn't get my mind off of you and seeing you so damn bad. After they were all done eating we went back up to your new room to see you. You were laying there on your side scrunched up holding your stomach in pain. I ran out to the hall and said someone needs to come in here and give you some pain meds you were on straight IV of Demerol and Morphine the 2 most strongest pain meds out there and you were still in a lot of pain. Your god child came up to see you with Paul as soon as Lindsey entered the room she took one look at me and then at you and ran out of there crying. Mom I have never saw you so white in my hole life. You looked so bad I just couldn't believe it. I knew you weren't doing good and neither did anyone else. Auntie Robin and Noel and the kids all came up to see you and they were all sad they just sat there quiet and in shock at how bad you actually were. I couldn't stay up there anymore I had to go home and do the rest of my homework and I wish I didn't have to so i could of spent a little more time with you because it was your last day/night on this earth STUPID MOTHER FUCKING HOMEWORK!! So as I left you there with Auntie Robin and Noel Ro Lindsey Aunt Linda Latanya and Katie and Tina and Bill I gave you one more hug with a kiss and told you I loved you and you could barley say it back to me. Dad gave you a hug and a kiss too and told you he would take care of me. When we were walking down the hall Auntie Kathy and Amber were coming up to see you Amber said to us "Hows Auntie Sheila doing?" I said to her not good at all just crying. When they went to go and see you I turned to dad and said "Daddy is Mommy going to die?" he then said to me "Serena its a very good possibility it's all up to GOD!" I was just crying dad held me and we starting walking out as we were leaving one of my friend moms saw us in the elevator and told me she was so sorry to hear about you. So we were on our way home and I just sat there staring out the window looking at things passing looking at the world in a totally different way crying. We got home and dad made me some soup and I ate a little and tried to do my homework but couldn't get my mind off of you so I stopped it. Kayla called me to see how I was and to see how you were and told me to come next door and talk so I went there and they asked me how you were I told them not good I don't think your going to make it threw the night. So I stayed there for a little bit till I could no longer stand it anymore then I went back home. I got ready for bed and laid down I called you to say good night and Tina answered I said can I talk to you and she yelled at me and said you couldn't talk at all and she told you for me I loved you and you mouthed it back to her to tell me you loved me too. I gave dad a kiss and a hug and just cried myself to sleep about 3 hours later you passed away Tina and Auntie Linda called Dad to tell us he didn't know know what to do wait till morning to tell me or to wake me up and tell me so he got off the phone with them and called Karen and Meg and Ash they all answered the phone and he said crying Sheila died what should I do should I wake Serena up and tell her or wait till in the morning they all said Serena would want to know her mother just passed away so he got off with them. He then came over to me and shook me saying Serena wake up Serena wake up and when I woke up I rolled over and said what Daddy? Dad got down on his knees took my hand and said Serena Mommy passed away a little while ago I am so sorry I just sat there crying into his arms screaming NO NO NO IT'S NOT TRUE and he said Serena it is I am so sorry! He said Meg is waiting for your phone call so I then called Meg to talk to her and we were both crying together on the phone he asked me when I got off with her do I wanted to come up to see you I couldn't do it I couldn't see you laying there dead and still warm I would of freaked more. So I just sat there all night and I couldn't sleep I just cried and cried then the next day Dad called out of worked and called me out of school Dad had to take care of everything Meg skipped school with me and Karen took us to the mall to try to get my mind off of you then to get Ashley from school me and Meg waled into the school to get her and everyone walked up to me saying sorry for your loss I freaked and dropped to the floor balling my eyes out everyone found out so fast. Then after we picked up Ash they took me to this place where you can light a candle and say a prayer and get prayer beads our apartment was on the way there I looked over at it and saw your car sitting in the parking lot and I freaked and started screaming they tried to hold me but I didn't want to be touched I finally settled down as we got to the place on our way back I made them promise me to make me shut my eyes when we entered Leicester because not to long after was our place so they did that and wouldn't let me open them until we were far enough out of site so I couldn't look back to see them. The next day was Aunt Linda's Christmas Party I didn't want to go but I got made and I just sat there with everyone coming up to me saying I'm sorry and giving me hugs I was ok I was talking to Lindsey Paul and Val then Auntie played Follow Me by Uncle Kracker your favorite song and I just started crying into Lindsey's shoulder Tina looked over and said is she crying Lindsey and Paul said yes Tina then came over and we both hugged and cried together. As I was walking in the kitchen Michelle and Vinny came and Vinny then said Mommy Serena wheres Auntie Sheila and Michelle started crying and I did again to she said go a head Serena tell him and I couldn't I told her too she got down on her knees and said Vinny Auntie Sheila is up in heaven watching down on you. The next few days were the hardest as I said my last good byes to you. There is nothing more painful then sitting there watching the one you love die in pain. I will never forget them days and I will never forget you no matter what. You will always live in my heart and soul. I still smell you and still see you in my dreams. I love you so much and I will never forget our talks and our time together as long as I live. You were the best mother a girl could ask for. No one could ask for a better mother then you. Everyone loved you and everyone still does. Latanya just said to me the other day that she misses you and still remembers you and so doesn't Bianca. You really touched peoples hearts mom and left great memories for everyone. I wish you could still be here to guide me threw some stuff in my life right now but I know your in a better place and pain free. I bet your surrounded by the animal you love so much a Tiger you always told me that you wish we could have one as a pet and I always told you what are you nuts they would eat us alive LOL. But you were always positive they would never hurt us and I believed you. Mom May you rest in peace and watch down on all of us on earth. I miss you and love you with all my heart and I think about you all the time. You are truly miss and loved by everyone this song that's playing right now is for you Mom. Follow Me by Uncle Kracker

I love you Mom
♥ Serena Lynn