(no subject)
i miss my old dance teacher, miss sharon, so much.
if God came down and told me "i'm giving you one chance to pick anyone in the world to talk to. they can be dead or alive..you just have to ask and i will allow one conversation" i would without a doubt pick miss sharon.
she was my first dance teacher i ever had. she would drive me home from pontiac every class and we would talk about the world. even though i was only like 12, she would tell me everything going on in her life...from her daughter getting pregnant in spain, to her husband dying. we would talk about death and afterlife, about whether we believed in God or not, about her childhood and how rought it was...she never worried about any conversation being too mature for me to handle. even when i was younger.
if you're wondering why i stopped dancing with miss sharon, i just couldn't handle the kids at the class anymore. they were mean, and made fun of me, and called me fat...but for the longest time, that didn't matter because miss sharon was like my second mom. she adored me. i remember one time she just sat there and watched me dance. she said that she got high off watching me go all out on the dance floor. even though everyone in my dance class hated me, miss sharon told me to do the dance by myself because i was the only kid she knew that loved dance that much. she said i was just like her when she was a kid. and even though i hated being at the actual class, she was so proud of me because i was the only one who understood her love of dance. she said i was the only one who really knew what it was like...to be able to tune out everything and just focus on dancing. when i did the dance in front of everyone that day, she completely forgot we actually were in a class. she just asked if she could do the dance with me. i had so many classes with her that were just me and her, so it was normal for us to just dance together. but she tuned all of her other students out...
i think she's the reason i enjoyed dance for the longest time. when we left her studio, it was really hard. i knew she didn't take it well. she told me once that i was like a daughter to her. she said she loved me so much and that i would always be one of her children...even though her children were like 20 years older than me. i wrote her a letter one time soon after i quit and she never wrote back. i wrote her another one a year later...and a couple more after that but she still never responded.
i don't know if her husband died..i don't know if she lives in florida with her two sons..or in spain with her daughter and her grandkids..
all i know is she retired dance a year after i quit. nobody really knew why..she loved it so much. she never mentioned to me that she was thinking about retiring...she told me nobody ever gets too old to dance.
my mom and i were talking about miss sharon today...and my mom knows that i miss her alot. every once in a while i will think i see her in a grocery store...or i'll have a dream about her. but we have no idea where she is now..
and although i would love to see her so much. i almost never want to meet her again. because if i were to meet her, i would freak out. i would run up to her and hug her and start crying and telling her all about the changes that have happened in my life since i last saw her. i know she wouldn't recognize me. i'm not the plump ugly girl she last saw in her dance class.
i'm afraid she wouldn't remember me...and all these years i wish i could talk to her. i'm afraid i didn't impact her life at all.
it's weird when a thought of someone comes back into your life after so many years trying to not think about it.
sorry...long entry...lol. i think i just needed to think out loud. i'm long overdue for an entry anyways.
love you guys...and thankyou to everyone this week.
you guys helped more than you know.
if God came down and told me "i'm giving you one chance to pick anyone in the world to talk to. they can be dead or alive..you just have to ask and i will allow one conversation" i would without a doubt pick miss sharon.
she was my first dance teacher i ever had. she would drive me home from pontiac every class and we would talk about the world. even though i was only like 12, she would tell me everything going on in her life...from her daughter getting pregnant in spain, to her husband dying. we would talk about death and afterlife, about whether we believed in God or not, about her childhood and how rought it was...she never worried about any conversation being too mature for me to handle. even when i was younger.
if you're wondering why i stopped dancing with miss sharon, i just couldn't handle the kids at the class anymore. they were mean, and made fun of me, and called me fat...but for the longest time, that didn't matter because miss sharon was like my second mom. she adored me. i remember one time she just sat there and watched me dance. she said that she got high off watching me go all out on the dance floor. even though everyone in my dance class hated me, miss sharon told me to do the dance by myself because i was the only kid she knew that loved dance that much. she said i was just like her when she was a kid. and even though i hated being at the actual class, she was so proud of me because i was the only one who understood her love of dance. she said i was the only one who really knew what it was like...to be able to tune out everything and just focus on dancing. when i did the dance in front of everyone that day, she completely forgot we actually were in a class. she just asked if she could do the dance with me. i had so many classes with her that were just me and her, so it was normal for us to just dance together. but she tuned all of her other students out...
i think she's the reason i enjoyed dance for the longest time. when we left her studio, it was really hard. i knew she didn't take it well. she told me once that i was like a daughter to her. she said she loved me so much and that i would always be one of her children...even though her children were like 20 years older than me. i wrote her a letter one time soon after i quit and she never wrote back. i wrote her another one a year later...and a couple more after that but she still never responded.
i don't know if her husband died..i don't know if she lives in florida with her two sons..or in spain with her daughter and her grandkids..
all i know is she retired dance a year after i quit. nobody really knew why..she loved it so much. she never mentioned to me that she was thinking about retiring...she told me nobody ever gets too old to dance.
my mom and i were talking about miss sharon today...and my mom knows that i miss her alot. every once in a while i will think i see her in a grocery store...or i'll have a dream about her. but we have no idea where she is now..
and although i would love to see her so much. i almost never want to meet her again. because if i were to meet her, i would freak out. i would run up to her and hug her and start crying and telling her all about the changes that have happened in my life since i last saw her. i know she wouldn't recognize me. i'm not the plump ugly girl she last saw in her dance class.
i'm afraid she wouldn't remember me...and all these years i wish i could talk to her. i'm afraid i didn't impact her life at all.
it's weird when a thought of someone comes back into your life after so many years trying to not think about it.
sorry...long entry...lol. i think i just needed to think out loud. i'm long overdue for an entry anyways.
love you guys...and thankyou to everyone this week.
you guys helped more than you know.