BRAD PITT'S BACK!!!!.......all is right with the world
alright....where do i begin....
first off i'm failing, and no not in the way that we all think we're failing school, but actual failing. and it sucks. i dont know what to do. i actually study and no i don't go to class but i don't actually have to. i study my ass off and i still fail. it's those stupid multiple choice tests! whoever said that we don't get MC tests in college was lying! i've only had one test where i can actually write out an answer! WTF is up with that :( mayb i should've gone to a smaller school...i don't know. life sure isn't going the way i planned it. if i don't get my grades up i can't go to grad school and then what am i going to do with my life. i cant live in squalor, i cant afford to fail in life. ahhhhh this is so not cool.
THEN there's this whole dilemma of thanksgiving. my parents want to go to alabama but we'll be back in time for thanksgiving at alex's. and i dont mind seeing them but i have this feeling that i'm going to left out cuz max thinks i'm like this girl who never got over him. i don't know why he is so high and mighty on his horse but everytime we've talked it's always seemed like he was doing out of courtesy for me...to see if i was ok. whatever who the fuck cares about you and your bitch of a girlfriend. no i didn't mean that i just wish they would treat me like a person instead of this like fragile thing they can't be real around.
BUT on a lighter note. we have a three day weekend, a much needed break. and i'm going to see becky and the spellers! i'm so excited goood metro fun mixed with some college affairs...hopefully a good party..we'll see. i can't wait to get out of boston and into northampton. i love that place, it's like the best small town ever and smith is pretty awesome as well. i just need a break from me. i need to be smart about my actions and i don't think that i am. i have to eat better cuz i am now officially fat and ugly. i have to go out more so i can meet people. and i have to study harder! god i hate growing up, it fucking sucks.
:( i don't like this feeling. i can't wait till spring break! barcelona and paris! omg! it's gonna be sooo gooooodddd! and then HOPEFULLY a summer with lindsay who is like, i swear, the only person i could spend everyday with and not get tired of her. i just miss feeling like i'm a part of something or that i need to be around. i just feel so alone here. i dunno.........am i crazy? i know there are people here who care about me, i dont want you guys thinking that my friends are like these monsters who don't care about me. lina and j are like my home away from home, i honestly don't know what i'd do without them .you guys would LOVE j. she's just like us but with an edge...lol...if that makes sense. they remind me of home, which makes me sad and happy at the same time. you know?
i dunno, i just worry about my future. i don't want to end up a nothing. I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY cuz i can't put it into words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whatever i'm now officially frustrated so i'm going to end this weird post. bye!
first off i'm failing, and no not in the way that we all think we're failing school, but actual failing. and it sucks. i dont know what to do. i actually study and no i don't go to class but i don't actually have to. i study my ass off and i still fail. it's those stupid multiple choice tests! whoever said that we don't get MC tests in college was lying! i've only had one test where i can actually write out an answer! WTF is up with that :( mayb i should've gone to a smaller school...i don't know. life sure isn't going the way i planned it. if i don't get my grades up i can't go to grad school and then what am i going to do with my life. i cant live in squalor, i cant afford to fail in life. ahhhhh this is so not cool.
THEN there's this whole dilemma of thanksgiving. my parents want to go to alabama but we'll be back in time for thanksgiving at alex's. and i dont mind seeing them but i have this feeling that i'm going to left out cuz max thinks i'm like this girl who never got over him. i don't know why he is so high and mighty on his horse but everytime we've talked it's always seemed like he was doing out of courtesy for me...to see if i was ok. whatever who the fuck cares about you and your bitch of a girlfriend. no i didn't mean that i just wish they would treat me like a person instead of this like fragile thing they can't be real around.
BUT on a lighter note. we have a three day weekend, a much needed break. and i'm going to see becky and the spellers! i'm so excited goood metro fun mixed with some college affairs...hopefully a good party..we'll see. i can't wait to get out of boston and into northampton. i love that place, it's like the best small town ever and smith is pretty awesome as well. i just need a break from me. i need to be smart about my actions and i don't think that i am. i have to eat better cuz i am now officially fat and ugly. i have to go out more so i can meet people. and i have to study harder! god i hate growing up, it fucking sucks.
:( i don't like this feeling. i can't wait till spring break! barcelona and paris! omg! it's gonna be sooo gooooodddd! and then HOPEFULLY a summer with lindsay who is like, i swear, the only person i could spend everyday with and not get tired of her. i just miss feeling like i'm a part of something or that i need to be around. i just feel so alone here. i dunno.........am i crazy? i know there are people here who care about me, i dont want you guys thinking that my friends are like these monsters who don't care about me. lina and j are like my home away from home, i honestly don't know what i'd do without them .you guys would LOVE j. she's just like us but with an edge...lol...if that makes sense. they remind me of home, which makes me sad and happy at the same time. you know?
i dunno, i just worry about my future. i don't want to end up a nothing. I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY cuz i can't put it into words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whatever i'm now officially frustrated so i'm going to end this weird post. bye!