Dear Jenny,

[littleface]

I promise to always tell you if you have something in your teeth. I will do my very best to keep you from falling down or bumping into things. Mi casa es su casa. I will always help you move. I will always tell you what I really think. I will always help you drink leftover booze from parties. I will always think you are beautiful and smart, even if you get ugly and dumb.

That's what BFFs are for.

Happy Birthday, you smelly jerk.