oh man....
pulled an all niter to study for my spanish midterm...okay, okay. to type up all my notes and paste them onto note cards to bring to the midterm. i did this at tyler's. he got talking about how he feels like he needs to gaurd his heart, because i don't love him in the same way he loves me, and i started to cry because i really do love him so much...no matter if it's the same way he loves me or not, and i can't stand to see him hurting on account of me. i just hate it. so we hugged for a while and just talked, and then i started to cry more because i dont' want to fail my classes and let my mother down. that led to me talking about how it's heart-breaking how lonely and bitter my mom is growing, and how we haven't been getting along lately, which led to talk of my dad, which led to my first panic attack. i guess there was a lot of pent up stress...? i've never had one of those, but it wasn't pleasant. thank God for tyler. he prayed over me a lot. i'm exhausted from it, but i'm trying to just get through my morning classes before i crash. i can't wait.
i've been talking to brian a lot lately. i mean, i always talked to brian from time to time and he always sent me lovely mix cds. but we never had really long chats. but the past couple nites we have, and it's been really nice. sigh....now it's time to start another day of forced conversation that doesn't have the comforts of the internet.
i've been talking to brian a lot lately. i mean, i always talked to brian from time to time and he always sent me lovely mix cds. but we never had really long chats. but the past couple nites we have, and it's been really nice. sigh....now it's time to start another day of forced conversation that doesn't have the comforts of the internet.