Doctor Who ficlet: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy | Koschei | PG
Title: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Author: rustydog
Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters: Koschei, Theta (Master and Doctor in their school days)
Rating/warnings: PG
Words: 622
Beta: _medley_
Notes: For consci_fan_mo Day 1. The rhyme appeared in the Big Finish Doctor Who audios. It got stuck in my head, which led to this...
Zagreus sits inside your head
Zagreus lives among the dead
Zagreus sees you in your bed
And eats you while you're sleeping
The first line is the worst. The rest of them can be dismissed as a children's rhyme, a cruel little mind game of the kind adults had been controlling small Gallifreyans with for aeons. But the first line... the monster is in you. The monster is you. It doesn't feel like part of the game; it's a message. A message for him.
Koschei begins watching his behavior carefully, his thoughts even more so. Every twitch, every detour of the imagination, he scrutinizes for signs of possession. It's exhausting, but if it keeps Zagreus from taking control of him, it's worth it.
He stops playing with the other children. It's too easy to get caught up in the fun or hurt by the cruelty; he might lose control. It's safer to spend playtime in study.
Vigilance destroys his appetite. This virus of evil could be inside him, anywhere, dormant, waiting for the moment to awake and sicken him. Theta tries to draw him out, bringing the most delicious-looking fruits-probably nicked from the Lady Chancellor's private stores. Koschei will take a bite, then hand back the fruit. "You need it more than I, Theta, you're thin as an arrow." The teasing is necessary to ease Theta's mind; if anyone becomes alarmed, they may investigate, and his infection could be discovered.
He is certain there is no cure for Zagreus. Nothing for it but exile.
Finally, sick with the fear that his mind will be overtaken while he is unconscious, Koschei gives up sleeping. He reads in secret, or lies in the dark with the rhyme pulsing, Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus sits inside your head, and eats you while you're sleeping.
After three weeks, he feels as if he is losing his senses, with or without the monster. Lectures swim before his eyes, circle upon circle of writing spins and scrambles; children's faces ghost in and out, as often as not adorned with fangs or horns. Koschei allows Theta to carry his books and prattle while Koschei himself stumbles home by the feel of the ground beneath his feet.
Next week is their big initiation. Some of the children speak brave, defiant words, but deep down all are afraid. It is said the Untempered Schism can drive grown men mad. If that is true, what will it do to a child with a monster squatting in his brain?
Perhaps, Koschei allows himself to hope, the sight of the naked vortex will burn Zagreus out of him. The possibility of relief makes him even weaker. He imagines himself staring into the Schism, the sight tearing at his insides, his hearts slowing and then, mercifully, nothing. In his vision, he is clean of the evil. He is gone, and the peace passes understanding.
Finally the time arrives; Koschei is nudged to stand before the whirling pool of infinity. The Schism is majestic and terrible, so terrible, stories and even his treacherous imagination could never have prepared him. His mind is filled with violence, the monster is screaming inside him, slashing and gashing to be released. He can't believe his body can endure this without bursting. There must be gore streaming from his ears, but he can't scream, can't even open his mouth or close his eyes; he can only keep staring at the Schism.
He is so bitterly tired, his strength sapped, vigilance sucked dry. The thing fighting, pulsing, beating a rhythm inside him is the only power he has; he relaxes, steps aside for it, invites it into his hearts and lets it have its way with him.
No more struggle. It is the best day of his life.
Author: rustydog
Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters: Koschei, Theta (Master and Doctor in their school days)
Rating/warnings: PG
Words: 622
Beta: _medley_
Notes: For consci_fan_mo Day 1. The rhyme appeared in the Big Finish Doctor Who audios. It got stuck in my head, which led to this...
Zagreus sits inside your head
Zagreus lives among the dead
Zagreus sees you in your bed
And eats you while you're sleeping
The first line is the worst. The rest of them can be dismissed as a children's rhyme, a cruel little mind game of the kind adults had been controlling small Gallifreyans with for aeons. But the first line... the monster is in you. The monster is you. It doesn't feel like part of the game; it's a message. A message for him.
Koschei begins watching his behavior carefully, his thoughts even more so. Every twitch, every detour of the imagination, he scrutinizes for signs of possession. It's exhausting, but if it keeps Zagreus from taking control of him, it's worth it.
He stops playing with the other children. It's too easy to get caught up in the fun or hurt by the cruelty; he might lose control. It's safer to spend playtime in study.
Vigilance destroys his appetite. This virus of evil could be inside him, anywhere, dormant, waiting for the moment to awake and sicken him. Theta tries to draw him out, bringing the most delicious-looking fruits-probably nicked from the Lady Chancellor's private stores. Koschei will take a bite, then hand back the fruit. "You need it more than I, Theta, you're thin as an arrow." The teasing is necessary to ease Theta's mind; if anyone becomes alarmed, they may investigate, and his infection could be discovered.
He is certain there is no cure for Zagreus. Nothing for it but exile.
Finally, sick with the fear that his mind will be overtaken while he is unconscious, Koschei gives up sleeping. He reads in secret, or lies in the dark with the rhyme pulsing, Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus sits inside your head, and eats you while you're sleeping.
After three weeks, he feels as if he is losing his senses, with or without the monster. Lectures swim before his eyes, circle upon circle of writing spins and scrambles; children's faces ghost in and out, as often as not adorned with fangs or horns. Koschei allows Theta to carry his books and prattle while Koschei himself stumbles home by the feel of the ground beneath his feet.
Next week is their big initiation. Some of the children speak brave, defiant words, but deep down all are afraid. It is said the Untempered Schism can drive grown men mad. If that is true, what will it do to a child with a monster squatting in his brain?
Perhaps, Koschei allows himself to hope, the sight of the naked vortex will burn Zagreus out of him. The possibility of relief makes him even weaker. He imagines himself staring into the Schism, the sight tearing at his insides, his hearts slowing and then, mercifully, nothing. In his vision, he is clean of the evil. He is gone, and the peace passes understanding.
Finally the time arrives; Koschei is nudged to stand before the whirling pool of infinity. The Schism is majestic and terrible, so terrible, stories and even his treacherous imagination could never have prepared him. His mind is filled with violence, the monster is screaming inside him, slashing and gashing to be released. He can't believe his body can endure this without bursting. There must be gore streaming from his ears, but he can't scream, can't even open his mouth or close his eyes; he can only keep staring at the Schism.
He is so bitterly tired, his strength sapped, vigilance sucked dry. The thing fighting, pulsing, beating a rhythm inside him is the only power he has; he relaxes, steps aside for it, invites it into his hearts and lets it have its way with him.
No more struggle. It is the best day of his life.