i hate him

[littlecranberry]

the bastard didn't even call me today ... so i could at least ignore his call

uggggg

if i didn't know i was seeing him at some point this weekend to get my textbook i would probably cry ... a lot

i am trying to stay focused on being angry ... i want to be in bed right now but i have a lot of work to finish ... when i am asleep is the only time i get some peace from this madness

i hope all this holding out is for a good purpose ... i guess i should say some crap about it making me stronger in the end, no matter what happens ... but that is bullshit ... i'll just be honest and say that i have no fucking clue what is going to happen, but i'm trying to stick to a plan so at least i will know i gave it my best shot

i can't help but hold out hope that david will come around ... if it is in one month, one year, or five years ... i have always felt like he is my soulmate and my one, true match ... maybe this sounds sappy to you ... but those of you who know me know i've always felt his way about him through all sorts of drama ... he felt this way about me too ... until he proposed ... the jackass ...

i should go before i get weepy ... i'll hear from him tomorrow when he feels guilty for not talking to me today ... i hate his arbitrary rules and regulations ... i wish i hated him for real