(no subject)
i'm less overt, less over-the-top than i was. i haven't cried since friday, though i have had moments when i thought i would. i think it is just that i have cried myself dry, at least for now.
i have not slept alone since then either. nothing's really happened, i just haven't been alone. perhaps that is what made the change. i can't sleep in my bed, because it is too high for me to climb into. so i sleep other places, with other people keeping me safe. as much as i hate to admit that weakness, i think i need it right now.
i don't have anything to say, really. i got the part i wanted (elaine harper in 'arsenic and old lace'), and i am pleasantly busy with all of my work and there is sunshine outside. i fractured my ankle, so i will adventure to the windy city until i'm off my crutches but soon, dear, soon. i'm going to go read my favorite play for class outside, at the picnic table where jeremy smokes his cigarettes.
my lungs hurt from his cigarettes, all the time, this tightness, this constricting force. it makes me feel more powerful as i breathe so deep it hurts. i am strong enough to keep breathing. that is a start.
i have not slept alone since then either. nothing's really happened, i just haven't been alone. perhaps that is what made the change. i can't sleep in my bed, because it is too high for me to climb into. so i sleep other places, with other people keeping me safe. as much as i hate to admit that weakness, i think i need it right now.
i don't have anything to say, really. i got the part i wanted (elaine harper in 'arsenic and old lace'), and i am pleasantly busy with all of my work and there is sunshine outside. i fractured my ankle, so i will adventure to the windy city until i'm off my crutches but soon, dear, soon. i'm going to go read my favorite play for class outside, at the picnic table where jeremy smokes his cigarettes.
my lungs hurt from his cigarettes, all the time, this tightness, this constricting force. it makes me feel more powerful as i breathe so deep it hurts. i am strong enough to keep breathing. that is a start.