(no subject)
There are many things to be said. But no way to articulate them; not yet, anyway.
So, what is bothering me the most, right now.
It feels like last year, when they were both still under this roof and I was always caught in between. I am frustrated by her - she makes no effort to see me, and it makes me feel like a bad daughter (which I am) that I have seen him more, in one two-hour dinner tonight, than i have seen her in the past week. And yes, our schedule's clash most of the time, but still. It'd be sort of nice if, on the occasion that we are home and awake at the same time, she would at least try to make conversation. Maybe then I would understand why she is being so adament about this subject (which she has said nothing about).
He, on the other hand, has trouble finding anything else to say. I know, I know, I know. I nod and smile and wish I had a way to change the subject, but this means so much to him.
I know why he wanted to go - he makes it clear. He hasn't seen my college campus yet (she won that fight, and took me to visit it on Admit Day), and he'd like to make a trip out of it; go to Illinois via Michigan so I could see his family and friends. I can only guess as to why she wants to go so badly. Maybe because she needs to be the last parent saying goodbye to her baby-girl (which I have never been). Maybe because she likes any excuse to get her way back to the Midwest, where she will always be from. Maybe because she likes to fight him when she can.
But I cannot fight either them, I can say nothing, because it will get back to the other parent. And so I will just escape to Lyz's house tomorrow night.
I'd rather have the entire Hazelton family take me to college, anyway. It'd solve so much.
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In other news, I think I love you.
So, what is bothering me the most, right now.
It feels like last year, when they were both still under this roof and I was always caught in between. I am frustrated by her - she makes no effort to see me, and it makes me feel like a bad daughter (which I am) that I have seen him more, in one two-hour dinner tonight, than i have seen her in the past week. And yes, our schedule's clash most of the time, but still. It'd be sort of nice if, on the occasion that we are home and awake at the same time, she would at least try to make conversation. Maybe then I would understand why she is being so adament about this subject (which she has said nothing about).
He, on the other hand, has trouble finding anything else to say. I know, I know, I know. I nod and smile and wish I had a way to change the subject, but this means so much to him.
I know why he wanted to go - he makes it clear. He hasn't seen my college campus yet (she won that fight, and took me to visit it on Admit Day), and he'd like to make a trip out of it; go to Illinois via Michigan so I could see his family and friends. I can only guess as to why she wants to go so badly. Maybe because she needs to be the last parent saying goodbye to her baby-girl (which I have never been). Maybe because she likes any excuse to get her way back to the Midwest, where she will always be from. Maybe because she likes to fight him when she can.
But I cannot fight either them, I can say nothing, because it will get back to the other parent. And so I will just escape to Lyz's house tomorrow night.
I'd rather have the entire Hazelton family take me to college, anyway. It'd solve so much.
-----
In other news, I think I love you.