Food!
Monday is, traditionally, Monday Night Dinner. But as life skids down one of its many unpredictable detours, the Monday Night Dinner crew finds itself hosting this now ritualistic event on Wednesday nights. Not a problem since we are concerned only with good food and better company. What's in a day? Nothing. But since Hump-day Dinner deterred any new members from joining us we decided not to question what was in a name (answer: lawsuits). So, suffice it to say Monday Night still happens and it's still the best part of the week. But now I find myself with nothing to do on Monday night proper. That night, for so long, has both physically and subconsciously been obstinately occupied. Anytime an event occurred on a Monday I just ignored it and trekked on down to Monday Night Dinner. It was unadulterated devotion, and I don't think it's waning.
So what's a 24 year old bachelor to do in the middle of Hollywood on a crisp starry night on the cusp of springtime? Why stay in and cook, dummy. Sunday is still market day and I still get hungry. What better time to tinker in the kitchen and see what monstrosities I can slop together? And that's just what I did. But be warned, below is not a step-by-step guide to culinary perfection. It is a messy, perilous, and heartbreaking sojourn in the depths of a very confused man's kitchen.
Now, polenta is a recent discovery I am excited about, not because it's particularly delicious but because it is a curious dish that lends itself well to experimenting. I actually try to avoid corn products in my daily affairs (fuckin' hard), but living so close to "the border" I find I have become slightly addicted to nachos. And enchiladas. And fish tacos. And tamales. And nachos some more. So, actually, ignore everything I just said. Corn is fucking great. Let us all eat some corn.
Last week I tested the waters with a very basic polenta recipe:
Boil water. Whisk in corn meal. Pour in dish. Eat.
What this crude excerise taught me was that polenta is no different than cake batter in that it only gets better when you add a bunch of crap to it. And this week I merged two recipies that suggested some pretty tasty crap. I merged them because one recipe involved a food processor, which my kitchen lacks, but both had good ideas.
Ingredients are as follows (complete recipes after the post):
Food Processor Friendly:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 bunch kale, stems removed and cut into 1/2-inch strips
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper
5 cups water
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups polenta
6 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons grated Parmesan
Niki Friendly:
12 oz Greens; (kale, spinach,
; rocket, flat leaf
; parsley)
3 Leeks; washed and finely
; sliced
3 oz Unsalted butter and 6oz
1 ts Soft thyme leaves
10 oz Polenta flour
3 1/2 pt Chicken stock
6 oz Grated fresh parmesan
6 oz Ripe gorgonzola
My compromise:
4 cups vegetable broth
2 cups corn meal
Onion
Garlic
Leek
Heirloom Spinach - much larger and richer tasting than traditional spinach or baby spinach. Highly recommended.
Red Russian Kale - the market was out of regular kale. your guess is as good as mine.
Parmesan - a block to be grated. people, grate your own cheese. it is cheaper and better tasting.
Gorgonzola
Black Pepper
Olive Oil - i only have evoo (for all you Food Network junkies). And I know you aren't supposed to use it for everything. So stop whining.
Actually, now is a good time to mention that I have no idea how to cook. You see I am, mostly, a vegetarian (I'll explain "mostly" some other time). I don't ever really need to cook anything. I mostly just make shit warm then eat it. Usually I don't even go that far. Cold food tastes good. So my methods may offend those of you who actually know what you are doing in the kitchen.
I am not apologizing, just warning.
Okay, as delicious as all that sounded I felt it lacked a companion, something red. So I cut up some tomatoes into quarters (they were small tomatoes, not cherry or grape, just end-of-the-season small) and tossed them in olive oil, oregano and black pepper. Then I lathered up a cookie sheet with olive oil, dropped a few garlic cloves on there and put them in the oven, 400 degrees for about 20 min. or until they looked done (best kitchen instruction). Then I just shut the oven off and left them in there until I needed them.
Also, I had some carrots on hand and some out-of-season green squash that was a bargain at the market. So I decided to blanch them. I've never blanched anything before, in fact, I had to look it up online to learn. I wasn't certain it would work or even what I was going to do with them once I blanched them but the kitchen has this great tendency to whisper ideas in your ear and keep you exploring its possibilities. So I dropped the carrots and green squash into boiling water, let them sit for a few minutes, or until done (awesome), then dumped them in an ice bath until they cooled. I took them out and forgot about them. More on that later.
I chopped everything except the greens. While the vegetable broth slowly rose to a boil I sautéed the onions and garlic in black pepper and olive oil-
side note:
This is my first time using Organic Spanish evoo. I previously used an amazing bottle of First Cold Pressed Organic Sicilian Olive Oil (http://paesanooil.com/). It was by far the best olive oil that had ever graced my food. It truly flavored the dishes and made every bite an experience. Seriously, I miss those bites. This new Organic Spanish evoo (from trusty Trader Joe's) is good but not memorable. Or maybe this dish just overwhelmed it. I'll need some nice crusty bread to know for sure.
main note:
-then added the spinach allowing it to wilt to a manageable size since it will be added to the batter later. I put that aside and began to sauté the leeks in olive oil, adding the red russian kale after they browned ever so slightly. Leeks do better without much abuse. Once those were ready so was the vegetable broth. I took the broth to a simmer and - holy crap! I forgot the cheese!
I covered the vegetable broth and quickly grated up some parmesan and gorgonzola. Handfuls really, I didn't measure (never really do).-
side note:
Now, I had reservations about blending these two cheeses. They don't often find themselves in the same sentence together. But thankfully I was being rushed and didn't have time to contemplate a potential culinary faux pas and I just grated the crap out of them. Upon tasting (best measuring device) I found they blended really well. The parmesan really cut down the intensity of the gorgonzola and leveled the playing field. It created a rich and creamy blend that I would be happy to garnish a soup with one day or even add to some veggies (broccoli and carrots anyone?)
main note:
-Once that was ready I began to slowly whisk the 2 cups of corn meal-
side note:
2 cups of corn meal for 4 cups broth is too much. But I wanted to use the remaining corn meal from the previous week and only had 4 cups of broth on hand. Six cups of broth would have been ideal and I think my ratio was the ultimate downfall to the recipe. Spoiler alert.
main note:
-into the simmering vegetable broth. Once thickened (happens quickly) I added the cheese blend and mixed thoroughly, keeping it at a simmer. Since I used too much corn meal I added a splash of water to ease the thickness up. Then I added the spinach/onion/garlic group in then the leek/red russian kale duo. I kept mixing until it was well mixed.-
side note:
Red Rusian Kale is a thick stemmed green that should not be used for this recipe. Were I a smart man I would have thought to pluck the leaves from the stems before adding them. But I am not a smart man. I am a stupid man. People, don't be a stupid man. Pluck the leaves or get normal kale next time!
main note:
-or as mixed as the over-sized stems of the russian red kale allowed it to be. Once satisfied I poured the mixture into a glass baking dish. For me it was a thick, almost solid sludge, that smelled wonderful. Also, because I struggled with it over heat I inadvertently created a delicious byproduct.-
side note:
At the bottom of the pot was a thin but supple food skin comprised of subtly burnt cheese and corn meal still moist with vegetable broth. This was exciting.
There's a lot to be said about peeling any sort of food skin off the bottom of a pan and savoring it as you would the outer crust of a creme brulee. It's criminally delicious. Like going to a garage sale or thrift store and finding that one item that is unwittingly priced ten times below its worth. Walking off and basking in the luck of that find is almost as memorable as discovering food skin.
If anything, at the end of all this, I would have food skin.
main note:
-Now the sludge just sits in the dish and takes shape. It won't harden but just thicken into a heavy loaf type thing. This is usually a good time to open your bottle of wine and let it air out a bit. I opened a cheap Chilean Cab from TJ's.-
side note:
I've found recently that South American wines air out nicely. They're pretty good upon first corking, but get better by the next day's glass. So people, air out your wine.
main note:
-As the polenta loaf cooled I decided to clean. This is because I am neurotic and just have to do shit like that right away. In this case it worked out since the loaf had to cool and the wine had to air.
Finally, once the kitchen was clean, I portioned out the polenta and saw it was missing something, red. I pulled the tomatoes out of the oven and, my god, did they smell good! So good. I scooped them up and dropped them atop the loaf-y hunk of corn. Dinner was serv- ah crap! The carrots and green squash!
Quickly I mixed them in a splash of evoo and a touch of sea salt and warmed them up in a pan. Not to much, just until they were done (I love it).
With a quick garnish of crushed red pepper I was set.
And the verdict?
Meh. It was essentially a creamy corn loaf with plants in it. I tasted some of the cheese but everything else got lost in the preponderance of corm meal. And the stupid russian red kale stems were chewy and a nuisance. But the tomatoes, holy crap! So good. Again, so good. If anything, I learned that your meal can be as bad as it wants to be but if you have roasted tomatoes on the side then you have all the good anyone needs. Add them to everything.
So, all in all I'd say it was a successful solo Monday night...One-day Night? (I can come up up with a worse name). I learned what not to do, provided myself with enough food for the week and maybe even weened myself off mexican food since this is more corn than any one person should handle. Next week i have no idea what I am going to do. I'll just let the market inspire me on Sunday. I am tired. I am also open to suggestions.
kinda like baby vomit.
baby vomit is always better with roasted tomatoes.
i don't actually eat at the stove. it's just where the light was best.
russian red kale. such bastards.
heirloom spinach. gorgeous and delicious.
where i make my mess.
And for those who care, I was cooking to the soulful sounds of Madrugada, a Norwegian band. Industrial Silence is a good album.
(Oh, for the love of god will someone please proofread this post and email me a version that doesn't make me look like a complete idiot. I know as some of you read this you were pulling your hair out. Help.)
Real recipes:
Green Polenta (with food processor)
Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 bunch kale, stems removed and cut into 1/2-inch strips
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper
5 cups water
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups polenta
6 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons grated Parmesan
Directions
In a large saute pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and saute until translucent, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic and kale, season with salt and pepper, to taste, and cook until wilted. Set aside to cool.
Once the mixture has cooled, add to a food processor and process until very smooth. Add a little water, if necessary, to help make a smooth mixture.
In another large pot, bring 5 cups of water and 2 cups heavy cream to a boil over medium heat. Whisk in the polenta and stir constantly until the polenta is creamy, about 20 minutes. If the mixture becomes too thick, add a little more water or cream.
Stir in the butter and season with salt and pepper, to taste. Fold in the kale and the Parmesan and adjust the seasoning, if necessary. Turn out into a serving bowl and serve.
---Green Polenta (sans food processor)
12 oz Greens; (kale, spinach,
; rocket, flat leaf
; parsley)
3 Leeks; washed and finely
; sliced
3 oz Unsalted butter and 6oz
1 ts Soft thyme leaves
10 oz Polenta flour
3 1/2 pt Chicken stock
6 oz Grated fresh parmesan
6 oz Ripe gorgonzola
PREPARATION
In a large saucepan cook the leeks in 3oz of the butter until wilted. Add the greens and wilt down. Season. Bring the stock to the boil, lower the heat, reduce to a simmer and slowly add the polenta, stirring with a whisk until completely blended. When thickened, stir in the butter, parmesan, gorgonzola and greens. Season to taste