12 types of Men
MR. INADEQUATE
This is the brotha that will never be able to satisfy you in bed (and he knows it) but will try to compensate you orally and with buying you material things.
ADVANTAGES: You may get a Coach bag, Prada shoes, etc.,
DISADVANTAGES: You have to keep tellin him that size does not matter
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MR. I'M BOUT TO GET PAID
This is the brotha that refuses to work because of a car accident that he was involved in 1984. He insists that they are settling as speak and his checks are going to start "next Friday." Each time he tells you how much he is going to receive, the dollar amount varies. It started at $30,000 but now it is up to $90,000.
ADVANTAGES: You are in control of what you do and when you do it.
DISADVANTAGES: You have to pay for everything up front, "He'll get it back to you when he gets his settlement."
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MR. THUG IN A SUIT
This is the brotha that you see looks nice, but opens his mouth and WOW! Can not form a grammatically correct sentence if his Momma's life depended on it. Refers to everyone in his life as "Nigga," including his kids. Always hangin with his "Boys" that put him on a pedestal 'cause he has a job that does not require manual labor.
ADVANTAGES: There are none.
DISADVANTAGES: He's very loud at movies.
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MR. I GOT A DEGREE
OK..this brotha has a degree, maybe two. That's wonderful, but it is the focus of every conversation that you have. He is usually not very good looking, but was the Mack in college cause he pledged Kappa. Likes to use big words although he doesn't know what they mean. Very community minded-he's on every Board. This is because he wants to feel important. He likes to play mind games because he thinks he is smart, even though it took him six years and a half to get a four year degree. If you don't have a degree, then keep steppin, cause this brotha wants no parts of that. Marriage to an undegreed, non-Greek affiliated female is out of the question. He was last seen with the town whore though.
ADVANTAGES: Likes to eat at expensive restaurants.
DISADVANTAGES: May ask you to go Dutch. (He really DOES NOT make a lot of money)
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MR. MY BABYDADDY (AKA: I GOT SIX DIFFERENT KIDS BY SIX DIFFERENT WOMEN AND I DON'T TAKE CARE OF NONE OF EM!)
This guy usually resides in a town different from the one he is from and always claims that he "takes care of his." He is always at the club Mackin as though he wants to get others pregnant.
ADVANTAGES: If you really have kids of your own, he will take good care of your kids or anybody's..just not his own.
DISADVANTAGES: He only works jobs that can pay him under the table...wouldn't want to have to pay child support.
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MR. BABYBOY (AKA: HE IS HIS MOMMA'S BABY BOY)
This guy is 35 years old and still lives at home with his momma (in her basement and pretends it's his own place). He always wants to "hook up at your house" and wears a pager that his momma bought for him.
ADVANTAGES: You never have to worry about him wearing out his welcome because his momma has given him a curfew.
DISADVANTAGES: His momma will usually accompany you on dates and likes to sit in between you at the movies.
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MR OG (ORIGINAL GANGSTER)
He is usually in his early 50's. You can tell that he probably "used" to look good, but he don't now. He walks around the clubs acting like he knows everyone. He usually has at least one gold tooth and flashy glasses. He still thinks that he has it going on. He goes around asking women to dance until one finally says yes..and if you dance with him, then you will "feel" the effects of Viagra..so don't get too close!
ADVANTAGES: He should be getting his pension soon.
DISADVANTAGES: You went to high school with his kids.
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MR. FRESHOUT THE PEN (RECENTLY UNINCARCERATED)
All of his tatoos are prison blue and he has many. He has trouble exchanging currency for candy bars and cigarettes to U.S. dollars. He is also now ready to settle down and get his life together with that special someone, although he has nothing to offer to the relationship.
ADVANTAGES: If you get locked out of your car..he can hook you up!
DISADVANTAGES: If you marry him, every groomsman will be chained or wearing the fashionable house arrest anklet.
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MR. PRETTY BOYFLOYD
HE is indeed fine, but he knows it and he knows that you know it. HE is stuck on himself and he has many mirrors everywhere. He has no job because he looks too good to work and no matter where he is employed, everyone is jealous of him. He has no male friends and he pampers himself like the bitch that he is.
ADVANTAGES: He will look good on your arm at important events.
DISADVANTAGES: You will have to buy his tux for those special events.
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MR. SLANGIN
He has no job but he drives a Lexus. He has a pager and a cell phone and a big nugget ring on his pinky finger. He does not like talking on the phone and if you want to get a rise out of him..ask him to show you a check stub. He has an entourage, but he calls them, "his boys." He is always buying bottles of champagne at the club and he thinks he is Wesley Snipes' character "Nino Brown" in New Jack City. Don't be alarmed if he stands up from time to time and yells "AM I my brother's keeper?"
ADVANTAGES: He will pay your bills.
DISADVANTAGES: Can't get comfortable with him because he will be locked up soon and will become MR. FRESH OUT THE PEN.
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MR. PREACHER MAN
This guy is one of the youngest decons at his church; he is all about GOD and living right. He love children and does a lot in his community.He is prone to fits of prayer..and your mother adores him, but get him in a dark room where no one is watching and he will turn into the biggest freak you ever met in your life. He is into everything kinky and likes to be spanked.
ADVANTAGES: He can use the Bible to justify anything, even his kinkiness.
DISADVANTAGES: He is going to hell.
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MR. MALIK NAZIR UMFUMBEE
He is a former Christian, dope dealer, liar, swindler, womanizing bastard..turned Muslim. He thinks you are a sellout because you work for a company that is owned by a white man. He sells bean pies, incense and Final Calls on the corner for change and can't support himself, but you're the sellout. He swears that he does not meat pork, but you could swear that you saw him scarfing down ribs in the alley behind the rib shack. To piss him off, call him by the name his Momma gave him..usually Eric or Mark.
ADVANTAGES: Stays fit from eating that one meal a day.
DISADVANTAGES: Bean pie wedding cake.
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If you are dating these men BEWARE!!! They are usually all single minded, arrogant, double-standard having pricks. Don't settle! Mr. Right is out there.!
This is the brotha that will never be able to satisfy you in bed (and he knows it) but will try to compensate you orally and with buying you material things.
ADVANTAGES: You may get a Coach bag, Prada shoes, etc.,
DISADVANTAGES: You have to keep tellin him that size does not matter
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MR. I'M BOUT TO GET PAID
This is the brotha that refuses to work because of a car accident that he was involved in 1984. He insists that they are settling as speak and his checks are going to start "next Friday." Each time he tells you how much he is going to receive, the dollar amount varies. It started at $30,000 but now it is up to $90,000.
ADVANTAGES: You are in control of what you do and when you do it.
DISADVANTAGES: You have to pay for everything up front, "He'll get it back to you when he gets his settlement."
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MR. THUG IN A SUIT
This is the brotha that you see looks nice, but opens his mouth and WOW! Can not form a grammatically correct sentence if his Momma's life depended on it. Refers to everyone in his life as "Nigga," including his kids. Always hangin with his "Boys" that put him on a pedestal 'cause he has a job that does not require manual labor.
ADVANTAGES: There are none.
DISADVANTAGES: He's very loud at movies.
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MR. I GOT A DEGREE
OK..this brotha has a degree, maybe two. That's wonderful, but it is the focus of every conversation that you have. He is usually not very good looking, but was the Mack in college cause he pledged Kappa. Likes to use big words although he doesn't know what they mean. Very community minded-he's on every Board. This is because he wants to feel important. He likes to play mind games because he thinks he is smart, even though it took him six years and a half to get a four year degree. If you don't have a degree, then keep steppin, cause this brotha wants no parts of that. Marriage to an undegreed, non-Greek affiliated female is out of the question. He was last seen with the town whore though.
ADVANTAGES: Likes to eat at expensive restaurants.
DISADVANTAGES: May ask you to go Dutch. (He really DOES NOT make a lot of money)
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MR. MY BABYDADDY (AKA: I GOT SIX DIFFERENT KIDS BY SIX DIFFERENT WOMEN AND I DON'T TAKE CARE OF NONE OF EM!)
This guy usually resides in a town different from the one he is from and always claims that he "takes care of his." He is always at the club Mackin as though he wants to get others pregnant.
ADVANTAGES: If you really have kids of your own, he will take good care of your kids or anybody's..just not his own.
DISADVANTAGES: He only works jobs that can pay him under the table...wouldn't want to have to pay child support.
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MR. BABYBOY (AKA: HE IS HIS MOMMA'S BABY BOY)
This guy is 35 years old and still lives at home with his momma (in her basement and pretends it's his own place). He always wants to "hook up at your house" and wears a pager that his momma bought for him.
ADVANTAGES: You never have to worry about him wearing out his welcome because his momma has given him a curfew.
DISADVANTAGES: His momma will usually accompany you on dates and likes to sit in between you at the movies.
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MR OG (ORIGINAL GANGSTER)
He is usually in his early 50's. You can tell that he probably "used" to look good, but he don't now. He walks around the clubs acting like he knows everyone. He usually has at least one gold tooth and flashy glasses. He still thinks that he has it going on. He goes around asking women to dance until one finally says yes..and if you dance with him, then you will "feel" the effects of Viagra..so don't get too close!
ADVANTAGES: He should be getting his pension soon.
DISADVANTAGES: You went to high school with his kids.
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MR. FRESHOUT THE PEN (RECENTLY UNINCARCERATED)
All of his tatoos are prison blue and he has many. He has trouble exchanging currency for candy bars and cigarettes to U.S. dollars. He is also now ready to settle down and get his life together with that special someone, although he has nothing to offer to the relationship.
ADVANTAGES: If you get locked out of your car..he can hook you up!
DISADVANTAGES: If you marry him, every groomsman will be chained or wearing the fashionable house arrest anklet.
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MR. PRETTY BOYFLOYD
HE is indeed fine, but he knows it and he knows that you know it. HE is stuck on himself and he has many mirrors everywhere. He has no job because he looks too good to work and no matter where he is employed, everyone is jealous of him. He has no male friends and he pampers himself like the bitch that he is.
ADVANTAGES: He will look good on your arm at important events.
DISADVANTAGES: You will have to buy his tux for those special events.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MR. SLANGIN
He has no job but he drives a Lexus. He has a pager and a cell phone and a big nugget ring on his pinky finger. He does not like talking on the phone and if you want to get a rise out of him..ask him to show you a check stub. He has an entourage, but he calls them, "his boys." He is always buying bottles of champagne at the club and he thinks he is Wesley Snipes' character "Nino Brown" in New Jack City. Don't be alarmed if he stands up from time to time and yells "AM I my brother's keeper?"
ADVANTAGES: He will pay your bills.
DISADVANTAGES: Can't get comfortable with him because he will be locked up soon and will become MR. FRESH OUT THE PEN.
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MR. PREACHER MAN
This guy is one of the youngest decons at his church; he is all about GOD and living right. He love children and does a lot in his community.He is prone to fits of prayer..and your mother adores him, but get him in a dark room where no one is watching and he will turn into the biggest freak you ever met in your life. He is into everything kinky and likes to be spanked.
ADVANTAGES: He can use the Bible to justify anything, even his kinkiness.
DISADVANTAGES: He is going to hell.
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MR. MALIK NAZIR UMFUMBEE
He is a former Christian, dope dealer, liar, swindler, womanizing bastard..turned Muslim. He thinks you are a sellout because you work for a company that is owned by a white man. He sells bean pies, incense and Final Calls on the corner for change and can't support himself, but you're the sellout. He swears that he does not meat pork, but you could swear that you saw him scarfing down ribs in the alley behind the rib shack. To piss him off, call him by the name his Momma gave him..usually Eric or Mark.
ADVANTAGES: Stays fit from eating that one meal a day.
DISADVANTAGES: Bean pie wedding cake.
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If you are dating these men BEWARE!!! They are usually all single minded, arrogant, double-standard having pricks. Don't settle! Mr. Right is out there.!