I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!
so faitful to my old journal eh? riiiite... this is what i do when i feel either trapped, broken or just downright bored and right now i am all of the freaking above.. i mean i know how some people are just like whatever when it comes to shit like this but for some reason i hate the fact that my dad really doesnt like me and that his wife REALLY hates me and that he couldnt get along with my mom if my life depended on it! and that my step dad hates me probably just as muchas anyone does and MAN why do so many people dislike me? its like a record for the most adutls who hate u.. i mean chris does bad stuff like ALL of the time yet he doesnt ever get in trouble and no one ever gets made at the almighty precious one and since donna wants me to stay this weekend gives my dad liberty to yell at my mom! i never say here! i miss my sister!!!! ahhh i want to go home and crawl up in my damn bed and just cry like a stupid little baby because life just cant get much harder! i mean really... my dad yells at my mom for something i did then yells at me because donna doesnt want to stay home alone GOD FORBID and then i means its like they are so busy decided how much they hate each other that they dont have any time to do anything but be mad at me! and people wonder why i am so neurotic! ahhh! i think all of my mental problems directly connect with the freaks i was raised by! and then i mean i see chris for like 5 seconds b4 he toodles off to his band thing and i am like OW! i mean no joke.. and well i mean really chris has made me late to school like every day this week! and i really need to break his ass of that habit bcuz i am tired of running to my class every morning and then him breaking the damn speed limit bcuz we have to get to school in a very small amount of time... its like oh no u almost killed me just like last month and its surprising when i scream whenever u drive on the wrong side of the road so that we can beat the traffic! well damn! do ya blame me? ah well i have always just been a paranoid kid and i cant help it i dont kno and i still feel like shit for how much of an ass i was yesterday! i deserve to go to hell for the way i acted although i am not religious i still was a very bad person and it amazes me melissa can be cruel and it doesnt faze her i mean wow takes a whole lot of a person to be that mean.. blah blah blah i wish that everything would just stop being annoying and that life wasnt so damn gay but well it is and so i get to sit on my ass this whole period bcuz i am awesome like that but i kno next week i will be on my damn feet all week and i just cant wait! YAY! hah.. i still have 2 damn periods then the weekend but i have to go back to my dads first and that is like monumental suicide for me bcuz god if i didnt learn the first few times and well chris so expertly pointed out to a complete stranger why i ran away the first time it is my own damn fault that i put myself back into this black hole of hatred and drinking so damn me... Im OoOuUuTt