AAAAHHHHH!!!!
Fine. I'm going to re-write that blasted entry from memory. God damnit. Ahem.
I think I'm going to start taking katschmiddy's advice and actually starting posting the things that are going on in my life. Well, today I went to my friend Evelyn's Open House Party. It was fun, and she showed me this video game called Animal Crossing. It was interesting, but I don't think I want it. The characters are a bit too moody... "What the H*ll?! I haven't seen you in three weeks! Do you hate me or something?! Well, you know what I hate you too! Ya know, I bet every single organism on this sh*tty planet hates me too, so I'm gonna go lay myself down on the railroad tracks and wait for a train to come and smoosh me into smithereens! In fact since I hate you too, I hope you choke on something and DIE!" Yeah, they're pretty viscious... Anyways I have a psychiatrist appt tomorrow as well as a haircut and re-straightening treatment. Yes, folks my hair is not naturally straight. Shocked? Good. Ya know the holidays aren't going that great. I'm actually incredibly depressed which makes me even more sad since I'm supposed to be happy during break and this time of the year. To answer your question, Schmidt some of my friend problems do have to do with you, but I'm not so sure I want to talk about it. Evelyn told me some things a few days ago that made me pretty sad. I asked my mom why that sort of thing always happened to me. I mean I lost my ex best friend because of that(not you Schmidt). I feel like my friends would be better off without me. I know they would insist that that's not true, but come on. Why else would they always put me down if they didn't want to stop association with me? Maybe I should just cut off all connection with y'all for a while so at least some of us would be happier.
I'm lonely too, but in the romantic sense. Only thing is I'm not gonna settle for any guy. I'm waiting for my dream guy, but unfortunately I'll probably be waiting a loooong time. If he ever shows up... Usually I like teenage angst, but this is getting to be a bit too much.
... You know I don't think I can take it anymore. I said I wasn't gonna talk about it, but I lied. Ahem. I thought I got over our estrangement, Katherine, and in a way I had. I had gotten used to not talking to you, and us both giving the cold shoulder to each other. I thought I was never going to get over losing my first real friend, but I guess time does heal all wounds.... But not completely. When we started talking again, and hanging out we got to be closer and closer. It hasn't started to pain me until recently though. I miss you Schmiddy. I miss that special connection we had. I hate reminiscing about something like this, but I can't really help it. I know you're happier with equal friends, and for a while I was too. It's all gotten to be too much though. The pressure of school and friends has all brought me to the brink of collapsing. You were always there for me, and you never judged me like so many others do. You connected with me on a spiritual and mental level, and understood and offered helpful advice on everything. I think you would make a great psychiatrist someday. ^_~ I suppose I miss our friendship because that's what got me through everything. I'm definitely not trying to make you feel guilty/bad/or sad, and don't comment on this post if you don't want to. I'm not hinting that we should become best friends or something like that. In fact "best friends" kinda sounds superficial doesn't it? I just had to get it off my chest before it got too bad. If you want me to I'll never mentioned I said anything about this ever again.
There we have it. My journal. Now I'm going to go to bed, and dream of a happy version of me in some other place with no problems whatsoever. I wish all my friends Merry Christmases and to those that are traveling safe journeys. Ciao.
I think I'm going to start taking katschmiddy's advice and actually starting posting the things that are going on in my life. Well, today I went to my friend Evelyn's Open House Party. It was fun, and she showed me this video game called Animal Crossing. It was interesting, but I don't think I want it. The characters are a bit too moody... "What the H*ll?! I haven't seen you in three weeks! Do you hate me or something?! Well, you know what I hate you too! Ya know, I bet every single organism on this sh*tty planet hates me too, so I'm gonna go lay myself down on the railroad tracks and wait for a train to come and smoosh me into smithereens! In fact since I hate you too, I hope you choke on something and DIE!" Yeah, they're pretty viscious... Anyways I have a psychiatrist appt tomorrow as well as a haircut and re-straightening treatment. Yes, folks my hair is not naturally straight. Shocked? Good. Ya know the holidays aren't going that great. I'm actually incredibly depressed which makes me even more sad since I'm supposed to be happy during break and this time of the year. To answer your question, Schmidt some of my friend problems do have to do with you, but I'm not so sure I want to talk about it. Evelyn told me some things a few days ago that made me pretty sad. I asked my mom why that sort of thing always happened to me. I mean I lost my ex best friend because of that(not you Schmidt). I feel like my friends would be better off without me. I know they would insist that that's not true, but come on. Why else would they always put me down if they didn't want to stop association with me? Maybe I should just cut off all connection with y'all for a while so at least some of us would be happier.
I'm lonely too, but in the romantic sense. Only thing is I'm not gonna settle for any guy. I'm waiting for my dream guy, but unfortunately I'll probably be waiting a loooong time. If he ever shows up... Usually I like teenage angst, but this is getting to be a bit too much.
... You know I don't think I can take it anymore. I said I wasn't gonna talk about it, but I lied. Ahem. I thought I got over our estrangement, Katherine, and in a way I had. I had gotten used to not talking to you, and us both giving the cold shoulder to each other. I thought I was never going to get over losing my first real friend, but I guess time does heal all wounds.... But not completely. When we started talking again, and hanging out we got to be closer and closer. It hasn't started to pain me until recently though. I miss you Schmiddy. I miss that special connection we had. I hate reminiscing about something like this, but I can't really help it. I know you're happier with equal friends, and for a while I was too. It's all gotten to be too much though. The pressure of school and friends has all brought me to the brink of collapsing. You were always there for me, and you never judged me like so many others do. You connected with me on a spiritual and mental level, and understood and offered helpful advice on everything. I think you would make a great psychiatrist someday. ^_~ I suppose I miss our friendship because that's what got me through everything. I'm definitely not trying to make you feel guilty/bad/or sad, and don't comment on this post if you don't want to. I'm not hinting that we should become best friends or something like that. In fact "best friends" kinda sounds superficial doesn't it? I just had to get it off my chest before it got too bad. If you want me to I'll never mentioned I said anything about this ever again.
There we have it. My journal. Now I'm going to go to bed, and dream of a happy version of me in some other place with no problems whatsoever. I wish all my friends Merry Christmases and to those that are traveling safe journeys. Ciao.