Frustration Level - Highly Elevated
*insert lots of angryness here*
want details?
I hate German. I don't even know what possessed me. Wait, I LOVE German. I love languages. Because I pick them UP really well. I don't know if it's her or me, but I THOUGHT I did wonderful on that test. I barely passed. AUGHGHGUIESDK TIEkj asd;lfjawe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*spaz*
*sigh*
The only reason I'm going to college is so that I'm not one of those people who didn't. I want a degree in SOMETHING interesting, but... apparently I can't do that in German. Or music. It's not the comphrehension. I understand a good 90-95% of what she says. But I don't see how her standing there for an hour and fifteen minutes making us repeat what she says, WITHOUT looking at the book, will make us understand sentence structure or remember the vocab, if she's right, then as she keeps telling us "German is just memorization, people!" then.. I don't know where I was going with that one. I loved German in high school. I passed with a 106 both years. I got a D- on my test this week. whaaa?
*frustration*
I feel so antsy. I don't want to go to college anymore. I feel like I'm racking up humongous debt for absolutely no reason than to rise above my lowly birth. *poetic huh?*
I have two options left if German doesn't get any better, and its ruining my otherwise FABULOUS grades this semester.
English, which I really don't want to do. I hate writing papers and what the hell do you do with an English degree?? I don't want to be mrs porter.
History. I really really like history. I think this is my best and final option here. Frankly I'd like to do Italian, but there's no demand for it around here *the entire midwest* and there's no where to major in it here.
I COULD switch over to elementary ed. But I'd be in school for SIX years!! Five years = standard these days. Six = ridiculous. Am I right on this one or is 6 reasonable? I'd appreciate your input.
I could go to Lewis and Clark and get an associates. Atleast its a degree right?
I also COULD seriously consider that Montessori school certification. But you either have to have a bachelors or working towards a bachelors in something to be accepted. The great part? They only have class in the summer. Three summers and you're in. SQUEE. That way, I could work the other 9 months of the year and support myself, maybe better then I am now.
I mailed my check for my ticket in Monday. or it was picked up Monday, whichever. So they should have it by now RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!RIGHT?!
I figured out earlier that I'm not going to get to Nate until a good 2 hours after I planned. Because my mother decided not to mail me my check, I'm meeting her in Fairview Heights. Have you tried to get out of Fairview Heights going towards St Louis??? Also I wanted to meet them at like.. McDonalds so I could shove food down my throat and GO. But No. They want me to meet them at Smoky Bones. Note to readers. I don't like bbq. I like bbq lays stacks. Thats about it. Give me chicken any day. DO YOU REALISE HOW LONG THIS IS GOING TO TAKE?? I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!! I realise and appreciate *more than you will ever know* that I am recieving a Nice Check from my mom while I'm there, in addition to a free meal, but I really just want to get to Cape in my junkmobile *without dying a horrible fiery death from my transmission blowing up* and hug him frequently and have fun and enjoy being there and pet the chinchilla and RELAX and not have to worry about everything here and go to Cutelli's party and FORGET EVERYTHING HERE. Except you guys. You guys rock.
I'm so tired of being here. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of trying to work and not getting any hours, I'm tired of trying to go to school and work and get everything done. I'm tired of stuggling in something that I used to be really good at and now I am super-retarded.
I'm just really frustrated right now and I don't know what to do. With anything. I don't know what to do for school, I really don't want to go, I'm tired of wasting money on a place where I don't feel like I'm getting anything back.
I'm tired of being lonely and people deprived. This is the only thing thats going to be OK... but it's not going to be OK til May. Then it will improve my quality of life greatly. So I'm really not worried about this one other than getting nate a job and us a place to live.
I'm tired of work. I love my job and I like all the people except Dragon Lady but I NEED MORE THAN TEN HOURS A WEEK TO SURVIVE!!! That won't even pay my bills.
maybe I just need a sugar daddy.
will you be my sugar daddy?
Just to pay my bills and keep me out of debt. I hate owing things/money to people.
I can keep Nate for everything else. He's not eligible for the post of "sugar daddy"
just pay my bills for me ok? Take away this need for a degree. I can cook or something.. Thats it. I'll just be a cook somewhere. I don't want to cook. I want to travel and explore and see things and meet people and ... I should be a TRAVEL AGENT!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I need a degree for that? Probably.. in business. I hate business. I should be a freelance... something or other.
AUGH.
I used to know what I was going to do with my life.
Now I think I was crazy when I decided that.
The possibilities are endless, but we are restricted by our financial and social stations in life. If we have no transportation, then that cuts out opportunities.
many possibilites. very few true oppotunities.
I hate being stupid.
Why am I stupid?
Is it my fault or is it society's for restricting my options?
On the other hand, I'm gonna call tomorrow and try to get an appointment for Next Saturday to see this house in Eville that I need to talk to nate about. Because I love it right now. Because it's a house. And its not here. It's in the future and SILLY ME, I picture the future as having a Lot Less Worry and Anxiety than Right Now is. When oh when will I grow up and stop being so stupid?
want details?
I hate German. I don't even know what possessed me. Wait, I LOVE German. I love languages. Because I pick them UP really well. I don't know if it's her or me, but I THOUGHT I did wonderful on that test. I barely passed. AUGHGHGUIESDK TIEkj asd;lfjawe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*spaz*
*sigh*
The only reason I'm going to college is so that I'm not one of those people who didn't. I want a degree in SOMETHING interesting, but... apparently I can't do that in German. Or music. It's not the comphrehension. I understand a good 90-95% of what she says. But I don't see how her standing there for an hour and fifteen minutes making us repeat what she says, WITHOUT looking at the book, will make us understand sentence structure or remember the vocab, if she's right, then as she keeps telling us "German is just memorization, people!" then.. I don't know where I was going with that one. I loved German in high school. I passed with a 106 both years. I got a D- on my test this week. whaaa?
*frustration*
I feel so antsy. I don't want to go to college anymore. I feel like I'm racking up humongous debt for absolutely no reason than to rise above my lowly birth. *poetic huh?*
I have two options left if German doesn't get any better, and its ruining my otherwise FABULOUS grades this semester.
English, which I really don't want to do. I hate writing papers and what the hell do you do with an English degree?? I don't want to be mrs porter.
History. I really really like history. I think this is my best and final option here. Frankly I'd like to do Italian, but there's no demand for it around here *the entire midwest* and there's no where to major in it here.
I COULD switch over to elementary ed. But I'd be in school for SIX years!! Five years = standard these days. Six = ridiculous. Am I right on this one or is 6 reasonable? I'd appreciate your input.
I could go to Lewis and Clark and get an associates. Atleast its a degree right?
I also COULD seriously consider that Montessori school certification. But you either have to have a bachelors or working towards a bachelors in something to be accepted. The great part? They only have class in the summer. Three summers and you're in. SQUEE. That way, I could work the other 9 months of the year and support myself, maybe better then I am now.
I mailed my check for my ticket in Monday. or it was picked up Monday, whichever. So they should have it by now RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!RIGHT?!
I figured out earlier that I'm not going to get to Nate until a good 2 hours after I planned. Because my mother decided not to mail me my check, I'm meeting her in Fairview Heights. Have you tried to get out of Fairview Heights going towards St Louis??? Also I wanted to meet them at like.. McDonalds so I could shove food down my throat and GO. But No. They want me to meet them at Smoky Bones. Note to readers. I don't like bbq. I like bbq lays stacks. Thats about it. Give me chicken any day. DO YOU REALISE HOW LONG THIS IS GOING TO TAKE?? I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!! I realise and appreciate *more than you will ever know* that I am recieving a Nice Check from my mom while I'm there, in addition to a free meal, but I really just want to get to Cape in my junkmobile *without dying a horrible fiery death from my transmission blowing up* and hug him frequently and have fun and enjoy being there and pet the chinchilla and RELAX and not have to worry about everything here and go to Cutelli's party and FORGET EVERYTHING HERE. Except you guys. You guys rock.
I'm so tired of being here. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of trying to work and not getting any hours, I'm tired of trying to go to school and work and get everything done. I'm tired of stuggling in something that I used to be really good at and now I am super-retarded.
I'm just really frustrated right now and I don't know what to do. With anything. I don't know what to do for school, I really don't want to go, I'm tired of wasting money on a place where I don't feel like I'm getting anything back.
I'm tired of being lonely and people deprived. This is the only thing thats going to be OK... but it's not going to be OK til May. Then it will improve my quality of life greatly. So I'm really not worried about this one other than getting nate a job and us a place to live.
I'm tired of work. I love my job and I like all the people except Dragon Lady but I NEED MORE THAN TEN HOURS A WEEK TO SURVIVE!!! That won't even pay my bills.
maybe I just need a sugar daddy.
will you be my sugar daddy?
Just to pay my bills and keep me out of debt. I hate owing things/money to people.
I can keep Nate for everything else. He's not eligible for the post of "sugar daddy"
just pay my bills for me ok? Take away this need for a degree. I can cook or something.. Thats it. I'll just be a cook somewhere. I don't want to cook. I want to travel and explore and see things and meet people and ... I should be a TRAVEL AGENT!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I need a degree for that? Probably.. in business. I hate business. I should be a freelance... something or other.
AUGH.
I used to know what I was going to do with my life.
Now I think I was crazy when I decided that.
The possibilities are endless, but we are restricted by our financial and social stations in life. If we have no transportation, then that cuts out opportunities.
many possibilites. very few true oppotunities.
I hate being stupid.
Why am I stupid?
Is it my fault or is it society's for restricting my options?
On the other hand, I'm gonna call tomorrow and try to get an appointment for Next Saturday to see this house in Eville that I need to talk to nate about. Because I love it right now. Because it's a house. And its not here. It's in the future and SILLY ME, I picture the future as having a Lot Less Worry and Anxiety than Right Now is. When oh when will I grow up and stop being so stupid?