Grey's Anatomy Fic
Title: Goodbye to Yesterday
Author: Me
Rating: no more than pg-13
Summary: after the Christmas Episode in season 2
Part 2
‘So here I’m standing and after all you’ve put me through
I don’t know how not to love you’
If someone had asked her ten years ago, hell one year ago, how her life would turn out, she sure wouldn’t have thought she would end up this way. Okay, well she had expected her professional life to be the way it was, but her personal life? That certainly not.
She hadn’t thought she would be married happily ever after with the 2.5 children and the house with the white picket fence. But she also hadn’t thought she would be hung up on a married man she had had an affair with and then chose to go back to his wife.
Now she had to work with both of them, pretending that it wasn’t hurting as much as it did. She still tried to avoid Derek as much as possible but being a surgical intern it was really hard to do.
Today in particular. Someone really seemed to hate her because the first thing Bailey told her in the morning was, that she had to work with Dr. Montgomery. Therefore, she had to spend several hours with her, taking her orders and all the usual stuff. This wouldn’t have bothered her if Addison hadn’t given her weird looks all morning.
Meredith wondered if she had done something wrong or just had something in her face that she wasn’t telling her about. It just seemed that every time Meredith looked into Addison’s direction, she was looking at her, a frown on her face.
So, when noon came around, she was happy and relieved to get away from her and spend time with her other friends. Spotting them at their usual table, she walked over and sat down, letting out a sigh.
“What did she do to you this time?” Cristina smirked and then rolled her eyes at her.
“Giving me strange looks.” Meredith replied, already cringing inwardly at the expected snarky reply. And she wasn’t disappointed.
“She gave you strange looks? Oh poor baby.” Cristina laughed.
“It was weird,” Meredith shrugged, “Anyway, I’m going to eat and not think about it for the moment.”
“Oh, really?” Cristina raised an eyebrow at her.
“Yes,” She answered and tried to sound more convinced than she was.
Once they finished, they went inside the hospital again. When Meredith saw Bailey walking towards them, she already knew that she would tell them something she definitely wouldn’t like. Because today was just the day when everything seemed to work against her.
“Grey, Dr. Shepard needs an intern and since Dr. Montgomery told she wouldn’t need you any longer, you’re the only free intern so you go.” Bailey said.
‘Of course’ Meredith rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She sighed.
“Any problem with that?” Bailey looked at her questioning.
“Nope, not at all, everything’s just fine.” Meredith tried to smile.
“Good,” Bailey nodded in response, and when Meredith didn’t move, she added, “What are you waiting for?”
“Nothing,” Meredith answered and quickly walked away.
It didn’t take her long to find Derek. She found him standing in front of the medical board, staring closely at it. Spotting him, she stopped walking and looked at him for a few moments. After spending the morning with his wife and her strange behaviour, she wasn’t very inclined to work with him now.
Though, she knew she didn’t really have a choice. Sighing, she walked closer to him.
“You needed an intern?” Meredith asked, “Here I am.”
Derek turned around and smiled at her. “Do you wanna scrub in in my surgery later?”
“Yeah, sure.” Meredith said less enthused as she would have liked to sound. The possibility of a surgery was great but if she was honest, she would have rather worked with someone else today.
“Great,” Derek gave her another bright smile and then walked away.
Meredith looked after him dumbfounded. Was today the day of strange behaviour that no one told her about or was just something in the water? Whatever it was, she found it extremely annoying since she couldn’t make sense of it. At least none that she was willing to admit. After all, she had no intention of getting her hopes up.
During the surgery, Meredith noticed him glancing at her. It was slowly but surely unnerving her and she wondered what this was all about. Half a year ago, when they still had been dating, she would have liked his attention but at the moment it was just strange to put it mildly. He also seemed to give her smiles from time to time though she couldn’t be one hundred percent sure because of his mask.
Needless to say, she was more than glad when the surgery was over and she could get out of the operating room. She hoped that Cristina was still at the hospital because she really needed to talk about this with someone. Even if that would mean more sarcastic and snarky replies.
Just when she was about to leave after scrubbing out, someone grabbed her elbow gently and held her back. Turning around, she saw Derek standing there.
“Meredith? Do you have a minute?” Derek asked tentatively.
“Do you need me for something else?” Meredith questioned, wondering what else he wanted her to do.
“No,” Derek shook his head, “Do you have some time? I want to talk to you.”
Meredith looked at him for a moment and then gazed at the wall next to them, trying to figure out where this was going. After a minute or so, she turned back to face him, “About what?”
“Not here,” Derek answered, looking around as if to see if anyone was listening.
What could he possibly have to tell her that he couldn’t say to her at the hospital? Fidging nervously with her hands, she wondered what the best response was. It was probably to tell him no and then leave, but Meredith wasn’t really known for doing the best and right thing.
Therefore, she asked, “Where?”
“Joe’s?” Derek suggest and then gave her a smile, “I may even buy you a drink.”
Well, this was strange now. Was he flirting with her again? Feeling suddenly more than uncomfortable, she mumbled an ‘I’ll see you in a couple of minutes’ and walked quickly away.
Twenty minutes later, they were sitting on a table at Joe’s. They had been there for at least three minutes and neither hadn’t said a word yet. As if the situation hadn’t been awkward enough, sitting in complete silence made it even worse. Meredith cleared her throat and looked at him expectantly. After all, he had asked her here, so he had to speak first.
“Well, there’s something I want to tell you.” Derek began but suddenly he was unsure how to continue and how to tell her best. He couldn’t just tell her out of the blue that he was almost divorced and wanted her back, right?
“And that something is what?” Meredith asked, getting impatient.
“I uh… I’m getting divorced.” He answered, closely watching her reaction.
“You…” Meredith looked at him perplexed, “A divorce? I…” She trailed off, not knowing what to add.
“Yeah, I signed the papers a few days ago, and Addison did, too.” Derek explained.
“Why are you telling me this?” Meredith asked, a bit of hope rising in her.
Derek reached over the table and took her hand, gently squeezing it. “I made a bad choice, I know that. I thought I would do the right thing, but it didn’t work out. Because I couldn’t stop being in love with you.” He took a deep breath, “I still am, and I don’t expect you to take me back. But having a second chance at us, to do it right, that’s all I want.”
“I… don’t really… are you serious?” Meredith stuttered.
“Yes, you don’t have to make a decision right now.” Derek said softly, sensing her surprise and maybe guardedness. He could understand that she was uncertain about this, and maybe didn’t really believe him.
“You want to be together with me?” She had to make sure that she understood this right.
“Yes,” Derek nodded, smiling brightly at her.
She swallowed, suddenly nervous about what to answer. Sure, she had wanted to hear this from him for like forever but now, she wasn’t very convinced about it anymore. He had already made a decision against her, how could she be sure that he wasn’t going to do it again?
“I have to think about it.” Meredith said, standing up quickly and left the bar.
“Okay, you know where to find me.” Derek muttered, smiling amazed by her reaction. It seemed typical Meredith, storming out like this. Sighing lightly, he left too, hoping that she would make up her mind soon, and of course decide to give them another try.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Derek heard a couple of knocks at his trailer door. Slowly, he got up and walked towards the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Meredith standing in front of him.
“Meredith, what are you doing here? Are you okay?” He asked, slightly concerned. She looked confused, and tired, like she hadn’t slept at all this night.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Meredith asked, ignoring his questions.
“Us?” Derek looked at her.
“Yes,” Meredith nodded, “Because if you don’t, then don’t tell me this, just don’t.”
“I am sure.” Derek answered sincerely, giving her a warm smile.
“Okay,” Meredith let out a breath of relief and then turned to leave.
“Hey,” He called after her and grabbed her elbow, “Where are you going?”
“Home,” Meredith replied nonchalantly and yawned, “I’m tired.”
Derek grinned at her, “You could sleep here, you know.”
“That depends,” Meredith smirked, “Anything that could convince me?”
He stepped closer, wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a soft kiss on her lips, “How about this?”
“Mmh,” Meredith pretended to be thinking about this, “It’s a start.”
Derek kissed her again, this time longer, “And this?”
“I’m almost convinced,” She smirked at him, and then started to chuckle when he started tickling her.
He let go of her and stepped back, holding out a hand for her, “You coming?”
She smiled at him brightly and took his hand, “Yes.”
End