old lace and sepia
seems like lately i've been in the back seat of an emotional roller coaster. but God is good, and he gave me relief the other night when i had coffee with my good friend Larissa. i love the way she inspires me and i especially love our deep conversations. she gave me some good advice too, which i truly struggled with for hours; she told me not to reveal my emotions to everyone.
now i'm the type of gal who does not like to fake with the fakers. if i'm feeling something, everyone knows about it, whether i want them to or not. she told me i needed to act happy even when i'm not. this way, i don't draw any negative attention toward myself. so, i should lie to myself and pretend that i am happy until i actually start to feel that i am happy? hmmm. and what about the other lies i tell myself (the negative ones)? geez man. what's a girl to do?
so then i went home and got to thinkin.....
do i need to beware of hyper-authenticity? As a follower of Christ, i believe that I'm called to live a life of authenticity and candor, but at the same time, though, aren't i also called to a lifestyle of imitation of Jesus? and when i imitate something, i suppose i am adopting patterns of being that are a bit unnatural to me. the presumption of the New Testament is that when we imitate Christ in an attempt to cooperate with the Holy Spirit, Christ is realized in us. with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can put off the old self, which is authentically me at present, and put on the new self, which is authentically Christ. Over time, these things which were at first unnatural for me, begin to take root and I am transformed.
i guess all of this doesn't really have anything to do with the way i present my emotions, but the original conversation did get me to thinking about these things. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm realizing that its not always wise to act the way you feel in the name of authenticity. i do this so much that it starts to interfere with my identity in Christ and that's why i am making this sort of connection.
now i'm the type of gal who does not like to fake with the fakers. if i'm feeling something, everyone knows about it, whether i want them to or not. she told me i needed to act happy even when i'm not. this way, i don't draw any negative attention toward myself. so, i should lie to myself and pretend that i am happy until i actually start to feel that i am happy? hmmm. and what about the other lies i tell myself (the negative ones)? geez man. what's a girl to do?
so then i went home and got to thinkin.....
do i need to beware of hyper-authenticity? As a follower of Christ, i believe that I'm called to live a life of authenticity and candor, but at the same time, though, aren't i also called to a lifestyle of imitation of Jesus? and when i imitate something, i suppose i am adopting patterns of being that are a bit unnatural to me. the presumption of the New Testament is that when we imitate Christ in an attempt to cooperate with the Holy Spirit, Christ is realized in us. with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can put off the old self, which is authentically me at present, and put on the new self, which is authentically Christ. Over time, these things which were at first unnatural for me, begin to take root and I am transformed.
i guess all of this doesn't really have anything to do with the way i present my emotions, but the original conversation did get me to thinking about these things. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm realizing that its not always wise to act the way you feel in the name of authenticity. i do this so much that it starts to interfere with my identity in Christ and that's why i am making this sort of connection.