How time flies....
The 15th already? Ah! Everything is going so fast, I really have a scheduale that I'm going rotely through from one thing to the next, I can't believe it's already half way through the month!
I had a major anxiety attack this weekend, you know when you just get in those moods when all you an think about is how much you suck at life? haha I think you all do, but it was just really weird because I havent been like this at all since the fall and I've been kinda in a weird mood all week. Maybe it is because I feel really akward during Ragtime (and the anticipation of it stressed me out) or something like that. I've been feeling really young lately (can someone really feel young) urgh anyone got any ideas?
So lets see, nothing really that new. I had my first Ragtime rehersal last night, the show is really good. I'm kinda worried for the tech though, I can't be there for any of the school shows, Tyler is gone all this week, and Rye leaves after like the second weekend, But we'll see how it goes. I dont know how I really feel about it yet, I mean the cast looks like it could be alot of fun, but if i have to run flies the entire time i'm not really gonna be backstage to hang out, and yesterday at somem points I just felt really akward and out of place... eh maybe I should just give it a little more time? Lets hope that's it because I don't want to give up 5 weeks of my life for a show that I dread going to. Especially once Rye leaves, urgh we'll see....
School is School, anyone else as fed-up as I am? I barely have any homework anymore, which isn't a bad thing, but I just have such boring and dull teachers, blehh. And the people, just some of them can be so sterotypical highschool which is no fun at all. And it's hard to balance out time with school people and hanging out with theatre and people, especailly now that Ragtime has started, but I think it'll be ok, it's only for a month.
My parents have been ridiculous lately. I hate only being 15. When I got home from rehersal last night my mom gave me this huge lecture that I have to remember I am only a sophmore and I may not be able to do the show, which is crazy because I don't think my mom understands that once the show starts, as a punishment she cant just prevent me from going to the show, and thats how she treats it. Everytime I hang up the phone, or get out of the car, or after we get in a fight I always say "I love you" I mean reguardless of the argument, I'm always gonna love my mom, and she almost never says it back. And really then I just feel stupid for saying it, but I always do, in hopes that I may get a reply? I think my parents are just made because I am nothing like my brother and my sister. They don't like me hanging out with older people, even if it is only a year older. They don't trust me at all, and really it is just frustrating. They want me to only be involved at the high school, and only to hang out with the people I've known since 3rd grade, and since it is more difficult then that, they just become stubborn. I feel like in the reget child? I don't really know, urgh. I can't talk to my parents and tell them these things, or anything for that case. It really makes me sad sometimes, what do I do?
Hrm, now that that rant is over, gosh, I nothing else is really new, just hanging out. I decided I'm not going to try out for the Park this summer, it's kinda sad, but I just can't get my stuff together and I'm thinking I'll be working there anyways. Besides the competition is ridiculous, and I'm just not up on the same level with some of these people. But I still think it'll be fun to work at the park, and if everyone else gets into the shows (which of course they will!) then I'll be able to hang out just as much, so I think that is whats going on
PS- is anyone still going to camp this year? I'm having second thoughts, it is really Alexis camp now, but urgh- I cant imagine not going to camp, you know? for 5 years.... thats a long time! Hrm....
ah yes, Now I feel better. Thanks for listening kiddos, if you're not already snoozing :)
Loveeee
I had a major anxiety attack this weekend, you know when you just get in those moods when all you an think about is how much you suck at life? haha I think you all do, but it was just really weird because I havent been like this at all since the fall and I've been kinda in a weird mood all week. Maybe it is because I feel really akward during Ragtime (and the anticipation of it stressed me out) or something like that. I've been feeling really young lately (can someone really feel young) urgh anyone got any ideas?
So lets see, nothing really that new. I had my first Ragtime rehersal last night, the show is really good. I'm kinda worried for the tech though, I can't be there for any of the school shows, Tyler is gone all this week, and Rye leaves after like the second weekend, But we'll see how it goes. I dont know how I really feel about it yet, I mean the cast looks like it could be alot of fun, but if i have to run flies the entire time i'm not really gonna be backstage to hang out, and yesterday at somem points I just felt really akward and out of place... eh maybe I should just give it a little more time? Lets hope that's it because I don't want to give up 5 weeks of my life for a show that I dread going to. Especially once Rye leaves, urgh we'll see....
School is School, anyone else as fed-up as I am? I barely have any homework anymore, which isn't a bad thing, but I just have such boring and dull teachers, blehh. And the people, just some of them can be so sterotypical highschool which is no fun at all. And it's hard to balance out time with school people and hanging out with theatre and people, especailly now that Ragtime has started, but I think it'll be ok, it's only for a month.
My parents have been ridiculous lately. I hate only being 15. When I got home from rehersal last night my mom gave me this huge lecture that I have to remember I am only a sophmore and I may not be able to do the show, which is crazy because I don't think my mom understands that once the show starts, as a punishment she cant just prevent me from going to the show, and thats how she treats it. Everytime I hang up the phone, or get out of the car, or after we get in a fight I always say "I love you" I mean reguardless of the argument, I'm always gonna love my mom, and she almost never says it back. And really then I just feel stupid for saying it, but I always do, in hopes that I may get a reply? I think my parents are just made because I am nothing like my brother and my sister. They don't like me hanging out with older people, even if it is only a year older. They don't trust me at all, and really it is just frustrating. They want me to only be involved at the high school, and only to hang out with the people I've known since 3rd grade, and since it is more difficult then that, they just become stubborn. I feel like in the reget child? I don't really know, urgh. I can't talk to my parents and tell them these things, or anything for that case. It really makes me sad sometimes, what do I do?
Hrm, now that that rant is over, gosh, I nothing else is really new, just hanging out. I decided I'm not going to try out for the Park this summer, it's kinda sad, but I just can't get my stuff together and I'm thinking I'll be working there anyways. Besides the competition is ridiculous, and I'm just not up on the same level with some of these people. But I still think it'll be fun to work at the park, and if everyone else gets into the shows (which of course they will!) then I'll be able to hang out just as much, so I think that is whats going on
PS- is anyone still going to camp this year? I'm having second thoughts, it is really Alexis camp now, but urgh- I cant imagine not going to camp, you know? for 5 years.... thats a long time! Hrm....
ah yes, Now I feel better. Thanks for listening kiddos, if you're not already snoozing :)
Loveeee