Fanfiction: Girls
Title: Girls
Summary: Remus thought it couldn’t get any worse, but he was wrong.
Rating: General
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to the wonderful JKRowling I just own the crazy plot.
This was written for the domus_felicus challenge #5 - Harry comes home from school with a lot of questions about girls. Heterosexual talk by two homosexual men. Harry can be any age. (However I send it too late to my beta and only got it back now so I guess it doesn’t count anymore does it?)
The first time Remus picked up Harry for the Christmas holidays from Hogwarts he knew that something was going on in the boy’s mind. However he didn’t bother Harry with any imploring questions. He knew well enough that Harry would go and talk to Sirius if he had any questions.
By the time they had arrived at home Sirius had prepared some dinner and as he had guessed Harry immediately went over to the black haired man.
“Sirius, why are girls so annoying?” Remus laughed at Harry’s question, laughing even harder as he heard Sirius join him.
“You’re both mean,” he heard Harry say looking over to the young Potter and watching him pout while crossing his arms over his chest. Remus smiled apologetically and slowly calmed down again, reaching out to ruffle gently through Harry’s hair and then moved to lay the table.
“I am sorry, Bambi, but you just sounded… so frustrated,” Sirius apologized. Remus watched out of the corner of his eyes as the other two sat down at the table and Sirius wrap his arm around Harry’s shoulder.
“So tell me Bambi, what do you want to know?”
“Why do girls always seem to know everything better?”
Remus thought that now was the right time to escape however that chance passed quickly as he heard Sirius already calling out for him.
“Moony! Come here a moment. You must know Harry, our Remus here knows everything one needs to know about girls,” Sirius explained and Remus groaned in protest. No this wasn’t going to be any fun at all, at least it didn’t look like it right now. He walked up to Sirius and let himself be pulled on to the man’s lap. Remus looked over to Harry who was grinning smugly and seemed to wait impatiently for an answer.
“Well, Harry… I don’t know if there is some way to explain it,” Remus started feeling slightly distracted as he felt a pair of lips on his neck. As he saw Harry’s frustrated expression he tried to find another way to explain it, however Sirius was faster than him.
“It’s simple Bambi, girls are girls. Confusing human beings who seem to find everything funny enough to giggle about. They tear at your hair, bat their eyelashes at you and the worst of them corrupt you with potions,” Sirius explained seemingly telling the most dreadful story in the world. Remus shook his head and let out a small amused chuckle. After that he looked over at Harry who seemed to be totally enthralled in Sirius’s explanation.
“That sounds horrible… we have this girl in our year, her name is Hermione and she constantly has her head in a book… that isn’t the problem but she’s always that bossy, she always got something against whatever I and Ron do,” Harry said with a pout leaning with the elbows on to the table.
“It’s Ron and I, Harry, and take your elbows of the table. I thought I had taught you better,” Remus reprimanded softly, looking back at Sirius for a moment as he felt one of his hands rubbing his thigh gently.
“Sorry, Remus,” Harry apologized looking sorry for a moment but then immediately looking curious again.
“Can you tell me more? About girls, I mean,” Harry asked curiously and Remus knew that Sirius would be grinning now behind him, he didn’t have to turn around to know that.
“Of course,” Sirius answered and Remus felt a kiss being pressed against his neck before the black haired man continued.
“Like I said, girls are confusing things, they are yucky, icky and they use sticky stuff, saying that it makes them look more beautiful. However I can assure you that it’s absolutely horrible, disgusting to say the least, and when they try to kiss you with that stuff all over their faces, it comes on to yours and it’s horrible to get it off again,” Sirius continued with an amused chuckle. Remus thought on commenting on that but then decided against it, opting for the moment for just listening to the conversation.
“Ewwww…. That sounds disgusting, so they just do it because they think it’s nice. Stupid… I don’t want to hear any more of it,” Harry said looking completely disgusted. Remus grinned now as well while inside he sighed in relief. He hadn’t thought that he or rather Sirius for the matter could explain much more.
“So then, why are girls different to boys?” Harry asked and both of the older man tensed. Remus had to admit that this was even worst then he thought anything could be.
Summary: Remus thought it couldn’t get any worse, but he was wrong.
Rating: General
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to the wonderful JKRowling I just own the crazy plot.
This was written for the domus_felicus challenge #5 - Harry comes home from school with a lot of questions about girls. Heterosexual talk by two homosexual men. Harry can be any age. (However I send it too late to my beta and only got it back now so I guess it doesn’t count anymore does it?)
The first time Remus picked up Harry for the Christmas holidays from Hogwarts he knew that something was going on in the boy’s mind. However he didn’t bother Harry with any imploring questions. He knew well enough that Harry would go and talk to Sirius if he had any questions.
By the time they had arrived at home Sirius had prepared some dinner and as he had guessed Harry immediately went over to the black haired man.
“Sirius, why are girls so annoying?” Remus laughed at Harry’s question, laughing even harder as he heard Sirius join him.
“You’re both mean,” he heard Harry say looking over to the young Potter and watching him pout while crossing his arms over his chest. Remus smiled apologetically and slowly calmed down again, reaching out to ruffle gently through Harry’s hair and then moved to lay the table.
“I am sorry, Bambi, but you just sounded… so frustrated,” Sirius apologized. Remus watched out of the corner of his eyes as the other two sat down at the table and Sirius wrap his arm around Harry’s shoulder.
“So tell me Bambi, what do you want to know?”
“Why do girls always seem to know everything better?”
Remus thought that now was the right time to escape however that chance passed quickly as he heard Sirius already calling out for him.
“Moony! Come here a moment. You must know Harry, our Remus here knows everything one needs to know about girls,” Sirius explained and Remus groaned in protest. No this wasn’t going to be any fun at all, at least it didn’t look like it right now. He walked up to Sirius and let himself be pulled on to the man’s lap. Remus looked over to Harry who was grinning smugly and seemed to wait impatiently for an answer.
“Well, Harry… I don’t know if there is some way to explain it,” Remus started feeling slightly distracted as he felt a pair of lips on his neck. As he saw Harry’s frustrated expression he tried to find another way to explain it, however Sirius was faster than him.
“It’s simple Bambi, girls are girls. Confusing human beings who seem to find everything funny enough to giggle about. They tear at your hair, bat their eyelashes at you and the worst of them corrupt you with potions,” Sirius explained seemingly telling the most dreadful story in the world. Remus shook his head and let out a small amused chuckle. After that he looked over at Harry who seemed to be totally enthralled in Sirius’s explanation.
“That sounds horrible… we have this girl in our year, her name is Hermione and she constantly has her head in a book… that isn’t the problem but she’s always that bossy, she always got something against whatever I and Ron do,” Harry said with a pout leaning with the elbows on to the table.
“It’s Ron and I, Harry, and take your elbows of the table. I thought I had taught you better,” Remus reprimanded softly, looking back at Sirius for a moment as he felt one of his hands rubbing his thigh gently.
“Sorry, Remus,” Harry apologized looking sorry for a moment but then immediately looking curious again.
“Can you tell me more? About girls, I mean,” Harry asked curiously and Remus knew that Sirius would be grinning now behind him, he didn’t have to turn around to know that.
“Of course,” Sirius answered and Remus felt a kiss being pressed against his neck before the black haired man continued.
“Like I said, girls are confusing things, they are yucky, icky and they use sticky stuff, saying that it makes them look more beautiful. However I can assure you that it’s absolutely horrible, disgusting to say the least, and when they try to kiss you with that stuff all over their faces, it comes on to yours and it’s horrible to get it off again,” Sirius continued with an amused chuckle. Remus thought on commenting on that but then decided against it, opting for the moment for just listening to the conversation.
“Ewwww…. That sounds disgusting, so they just do it because they think it’s nice. Stupid… I don’t want to hear any more of it,” Harry said looking completely disgusted. Remus grinned now as well while inside he sighed in relief. He hadn’t thought that he or rather Sirius for the matter could explain much more.
“So then, why are girls different to boys?” Harry asked and both of the older man tensed. Remus had to admit that this was even worst then he thought anything could be.