Fanfic: Something's rotten in the state of Denmark -Part 2
So he stayed at home, with Black, who for the matter seemed rather excited about spending the night with a wolf. He had somehow managed to convince Remus that he would spend the night with him as Padfoot, and since then been talking about nothing else.
After having set up all the necessary wards, he and Black had climbed down to the cellar hidden under the hallway an hour before moonrise, and then had waited. He couldn’t remember what had happened during the night, and when he finally awoke again, a small confused frown spread across his face. He felt warm and not as sore as he usually did. His eyes slowly blinked open, needing a few minutes before he was able to focus, and saw that he was actually back in bed, covered by two heavy blankets and that the curtains were drawn to block out the sunlight.
Next, he noticed that there was someone looking at him, and he turned his head slowly to the side, not exactly used to being watched as he slept, let alone waking up feeling this warm after a full moon.
Black was sitting on the floor next to the bed, watching him with what seemed to be a concerned expression. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but immediately got shushed, a cold wet cloth instantly pressed against his forehead.
“Shhh… don’t talk. Try and get some more rest,” Black said quietly, wiping the cloth gently along Remus’s cheek and down his neck.
Being too tired to complain, Remus let his eyes close again, almost instantly drifting back into a deep, exhausted sleep. When he awoke again, his head had lost its usual post moon fuzzyness and this time it didn’t take him that long to realise that he was indeed in bed and Black was still sitting at his bedside.
“How are you feeling?” the man asked, and Remus swallowed, tugging a little at the blankets covering him.
“Alright, I’ve had worse nights,” he admitted, his voice still hoarse and he swallowed, attempting to make his throat less sore. Slowly, he pushed himself up in a sitting position, then shivered as he felt the cold air against his back, instinctively making him pull the blankets tighter around him.
“If you’re up to it, I’ll make some tea and I’ve cooked some dinner,” Black said after a while, moved to get up from the floor and then headed out of the bedroom, leaving Remus to watch his retreating back with a confused frown.
He had to admit that he had been nothing but quite the arse towards Black ever since they had met, and the only times he had been really civil to the other man, was when he was a dog and therefore unable of talking back at him. In spite of all that, Black had taken care of him after the full moon, had made sure he got the rest he needed and had even already prepared something for dinner. It made Remus feel like quite the twat for the way he'd been acting, guessing that maybe Black wasn’t as bad as he had made him out to be, and found himself willing to give the man a chance.
Nodding to himself, his way of mentally agreeing with this idea, Remus slowly climbed out of bed. Pulling on a warm shirt and trousers, followed by a warmer jumper and a pair of woolly socks, he headed out of the bedroom and peeked into the kitchen.
“What did you cook?” he asked tentatively, rubbing his hands together as he felt them growing cold, part of him wishing he was still under the warm blankets.
“Uh.. nothing special, shepherd's pie, easy on the stomach. Here, take your tea, black with loads of milk and go and sit down at the table,” Remus was sure that he had never seen Black babbling like that before, and he couldn’t help but let out a small surprised gasp as he felt the warm tea mug pushed into his hands and then a gentle pair of hands turning him around, giving him a gentle nudge towards the living room. Remus realised two things at that moment, 1 - he didn’t tense when Black touched him, and 2 - Black knew how he liked his tea, how was that possible?
While letting those thoughts convert into a huge ball of confusion in his mind, Remus walked into the living room. Sitting down at the table as told, he sipped his tea slowly, sighing softly as he felt the warmth of the brew spreading through his body. He loved tea. When it was cold, warm, when he was hurting, or just in the mood for it, tea was the answer to everything. Even right now, even if it didn’t help in explaining the fact that his entire view on Sirius Black had suddenly changed.
He had been so lost in his thoughts, that he had hardly realised when Black had joined him, not until he saw him there, setting down two plates filled with food, Remus certain that his plate was filled with an extra portion.
“Eat,” was the only reply he got as he raised an eyebrow at Black, wanting to ask how the hell he was supposed to eat all that, but the words hadn’t even gotten out of his mouth before the man had already replied.
Knowing he didn't really have a chance to try to reason this out with him, he put his nearly empty mug aside and started to slowly eat. They ate in companiable silence, and Remus was surprised at finding that by the time his stomach started to feel full and his body was starting to feel somewhat normal again, his plate was empty.
“This was really good,” he admitted after having eaten the last forkful, and leaned back in his chair with a satisfied sigh.
“Great, you look better now with some food in your stomach,” Black replied, and there was that tentative smile again on the man’s face, and Remus couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened last night to embarrass him.
“Look, about last night. I know the sight isn’t the most pleasant one, I’d understand if you’d rather not do that again,” Remus said quietly, avoiding Black’s gaze.
“You what…. No! No! I'm not freaked out or anything. I thought the wolf was amazing,” Black said in what seemed a rather sincere voice, making Remus look up in shock, certain that Black had somehow grown two heads. No one had ever called him amazing. He had heard words like horrible, scary, disgusting; but never amazing.
“You’re mad,” he finally managed once he found his voice again, and was for once not surprised as Sirius immediately laughed out softly.
“So they all say, but that has never stopped me,” Sirius replied, making Remus chuckle in reply.
It seemed as if the invisible barrier that had until now been between them had suddenly dissolved, and Sirius suddenly felt like an old friend he had known for years. Smiling to himself, he reached out for his mug again and quietly sipped the rest of his tea, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sirius cleared everything away. By the time he was done and Remus had finished his tea, he was starting to feel tired again.
“I think I’ll return to bed for the night,” Remus said quietly, leaving his empty mug on the table and heading back to the bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he closed his eyes for a moment, not realising that Sirius had followed him until he felt him gently tugging at his jumper.
“What are you doing?” Remus mumbled, not having any energy left to open his eyes again.
“Making sure you actually get into bed and don’t fall asleep sitting,” Sirius replied, and his voice was so soft and caring, that Remus instinctively leaned forward, finding his head leaning against the other man’s chest. He smiled as he could hear the steady heartbeat beneath his ear and felt the rise and fall of Sirius’s chest. The feeling itself was already lulling him to sleep, making him want to stay like this for the rest of the night.
“You will feel rather embarrassed about this once you wake up tomorrow morning and remember.”
“I know… I can deal with that tomorrow.”
“Alright.”
Remus whimpered as his head was pushed away, finally managing to force his eyes open and look up at the other man. Sirius had taken a step back and was now pulling off his own shirt and trousers, before leaning back over Remus to help him take off his trousers and then gently guided him to lie down. The next thing should have really woken him up, but apparently he was already too far gone to care, as Sirius moved to lie down next to him, pulled the blankets snug around them and then even wrapped an arm around Remus as well.
“What are you doing?” Remus still managed to ask, his voice already sounding rather sleepy.
“Taking care of you, so shut up and get some sleep,” Sirius joked. Remus was about to reply that he didn’t need to be taken care of, but then felt a hand stroking gently through his hair, the feeling making him lose all his remaining resistance and Remus found himself drifting into a deep welcome sleep.
Remus had indeed felt rather embarrassed the next morning, but Sirius had quickly joked it away soon making Remus feel less embarrassed. Life continued as normal, well, as normal as one might call it, with the exception that each day, as Remus and Padfoot returned to the flat after meeting with Tristan, they would sit together and talk. Slowly, the two of them were getting to know each other and Remus had to admit that he really didn’t mind that at all.
What surprised him, however, was how quickly their friendship seemed to be evolving into something more, and Remus found himself more than once pulled into Sirius’s arms as they talked in the evenings. Or, he would feel the gentle brush of a hand against his shoulder, hand or through his hair. At night, nothing ever happened, both of them staying on each their part of the bed. Also with Tristan, things seemed to be continously changing. Remus still hadn’t met any other werewolves, but he was starting to learn how it was for werewolves here and understood how an offer like Fenrir’s might convince a lot of them to join him.
It was getting very close to Christmas when Tristan finally proposed for Remus to meet the other werewolves and it once more brought Remus back to the reality of their actual mission. He had of course agreed, letting the other man explain to him when and where exactly they were going to meet up.
On the day of the meetup, Remus couldn’t help but feel a little anxious. He couldn’t remember ever having met so many werewolves at once, and while he had read enough reports and books on how it worked in real packs, he had no idea what to expect. Sirius seemed to share his worry, but definitely not in any kind of positive direction.
“What if this is a trap?” Sirius said, his voice sounding louder than it had been in a long time.
“Why should this be a trap? Tristan has been nothing but nice the whole time, I don’t see why he should be out to lead us into a trap now,” Remus immediately countered. Rolling up the sleeves of his jumper, he then turned on the water and started to clean up their lunch dishes.
“Exactly! That’s the point! He’s been too nice,” the black-haired man retorted, reaching out for a dish towel and started to dry everything as Remus handed it to him.
“You’re being paranoid.”
“I'm being paranoid?! It’s Tristan this, Tristan that. You seem to be forgetting what we’re actually here for!”
“What we’re here for? You mean what I am here for. You were simply ordered to tag along. And what the fuck are you so jealous about?” Remus finally managed to shout back. This apparently made Sirius shut up for now and neither of them brought up the subject again.
By the time, they had reached the meeting place, which ended up being quite a bit away from their flat in the middle of nowhere, Remus remembered Sirius’s words from that afternoon. He looked down at the Animagus, frowning a little, and reached out to stroke gently through the Black fur. He sincerely hoped that Sirius hadn’t been right, that there still were good werewolves out there and that he had possibly even found a friend. Swallowing, Remus looked around, sticking his hands in his pockets and shivered a little as heavy snow started falling from the black sky.
He almost jumped as he heard a crack behind him, his head whipping around, eyes immediately falling on a large, beast-looking man. Remus swallowed hard in an effort to control himself, feeling instantly intimitated by him.
“You must be Remus,” the man said in a low, growl-like voice that sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine.
“Yes, sir,” Remus replied, his voice sounding rather subdued and he yelped in surprise as he felt the Animagus’s nose bump into his hand, the dog whining softly. He looked down at him for a moment, tangling his fingers lightly into the Black fur and then slowly raised his eyes to look at the man standing before him.
“Do you know who I am?”
“You must be Fenrir Greyback, sir,” Remus said, not even needing a second to think it over, the answer coming like he had known the other man all his life.
“They told me you were clever,” Greyback replied, and Remus felt his insides churning as he realised his answer had been correct. Without really being aware of it, he took a small step back and then tensed even more as he heard soft laughter coming from all around them. Soon after, he was able to see a large group of people stepping out of the shadows to surround them, and he heard a low growl coming from the Animagus next to him.
“Apparently, not clever enough, otherwise you wouldn’t be playing Dumbledore’s pet dog, letting yourself be sent off to a different country to find me,” Greyback continued. “What does the old man think? That I am stupid?” There was another round of laughter, and Remus tightened his fingers slightly in the dog’s fur, taking in a deep calming breath.
“How did you know?” Remus couldn’t stop himself from asking, his breathing becoming a little heavier as he felt the first sparks of panic rushing through his body.
“Did you really think that Tristan wouldn’t tell me about you? I sent him after you. Otherwise, you would still be searching for a werewolf here without ever finding one,” Greyback replied in a mocking tone, and Remus couldn’t help but hearing Sirius’s words ringing through his ears again. He remembered all the questions that Tristan had asked him, how close they had gotten, Sirius’s jealousy and the fact that Remus for a while might indeed have forgotten what he had been sent here to do.
“Then, I am sure you know what I want,” Remus said as evenly as possible, resisting the urge to reach out for his wand that was still hidden under the sleeve of his jumper.
“Of course I do, pup,” Fenrir said and then took a step forward. Suddenly, he was standing right in front of Remus, and he couldn’t stop a whimper as he felt the rough hand stroking through his hair and then cupping his cheek.
“You’ve grown into a right handsome young man, I always knew you were going to be beautiful when I had bitten you.”
As Remus heard those words he suddenly felt his blood running cold. “You’re the one who did this to me,” he whispered hoarsely, his hands turning into fists as he felt his panic disappear, only to be replaced by a surge of anger. “You ruined my life!”
“I didn’t ruin anything, pup, I just made sure that I will have a healthy pack member when the time comes,” Fenrir drawled, and suddenly the man’s hand was tight on Remus’s chin, forcing him to bare his neck. Remus felt like his whole world had just been ripped apart, his insides were clenching in agony and he was sure that he was shaking all over.
“Now, is the time, my pup. You willingly came out here. You don’t belong to their world. We can give you what you want, a home, a place you can belong to. You don’t need a stick to defend yourself. You’re a werewolf, be proud of what you are,” Fenrir said, his voice sounding deep and authoritative, and Remus couldn’t stop himself from whimpering. “Come home, son.”
Those last words stung deep in Remus’s chest, and all the memories of how his life had been until now washed through his mind.
He knew that he shouldn’t even be considering this. He had heard enough about this werewolf to know that he was bad news, why else would Dumbledore have sent him here. But, he also remembered all the troubles he was having in the wizarding world. How he couldn’t hold down a steady job, how he was sure that soon he wouldn't be able to pay the rent on his home, let alone proper food, and what a good time he'd been having with Tristan.
Everything suddenly felt so confusing, and his eyes grew wide as one of the werewolves came a few steps closer, recognizing him as Tristan. “Remus,” he started, his voice sounding a little desperate. “Remember the good time we had. You belong here with us, not with them. Stay here, for me.”
Remus pressed his eyes tightly shut for a moment, trying to make sense of what was going through his mind. He was suddenly getting the feeling that there had never really been a mission to begin with. More like, Dumbledore offering him a way to find his proper place in this world. He whimpered again as he felt Fenrir's hand move from his chin down his neck, pushing under the layers of clothing to touch the scar on his shoulder. He tensed at the contact, images of that fateful night instantly rushing to the surface, making his decision suddenly logically appear in his mind.
“No,” Remus whispered firmly in reply.
“Are you sure, pup?” Fenrir asked, his voice ice cold and Remus felt his breath catch in his throat as he suddenly felt the man’s fingers grasp his shoulder, his claw-like nails digging into his skin.
“I am sure,” Remus replied evenly and then let out a loud scream as Fenrir dragged his nails deep into his shoulder, breaking the scarred skin.
He was so distracted by the pain that he didn’t notice Sirius suddenly transforming next to him. Remus only managed to find his bearings again, as Fenrir was suddenly hexed away from him. He could feel Sirius’s arm around his waist, and he blinked up at him with a terrified expression on his face. They were clearly outnumbered right now, and it felt as if all the nightmares that Remus had ever had throughout the years were suddenly coming true.
His eyes fell on Tristan, his heart clenching in his chest and then a sickening feeling rushed through his body as he suddenly felt his feet leaving the ground, stumbling into their flat seconds later. Sirius’s hands seemed to be all over him, tugging him out of layers of clothing to reveal the damage Fenrir had done to his shoulder.
“Why won’t this work!?” Sirius growled in frustration, after having tried every healing spell possible.
“You can’t heal werewolf inflicted wounds, remember?” Remus whispered hoarsely, feeling his knees give out under him. He barely registered when Sirius bandaged his shoulder, not really coming to his senses until he felt Sirius wrapping his arms around him. Feeling the warmth of the other man’s body against his own suddenly made everything so real, and Remus let out a small sob, his body trembling as he was coming down from the adrenaline.
“You made the right decision, it’s alright, I’ve got you,” Sirius murmured softly in his ear, repeating the words over and over again until Remus was too exhausted to stay awake any longer and fell asleep right there in Sirius’s arms.
Both of them had been up early the next day, packed their belongings and had taken the first train heading to the ferry back to England. Neither of them said a word throughout the entire journey and by the time they had reached London, it felt more like a bad nightmare than anything else. Still, they weren't allowed to settle and calm down, Dumbledore immediately questioning them for hours to hear what had happened.
By the time they finally were ready to go home, 48 hours had passed since they left Copenhagen, neither having managed to sleep once.
“Where will you go now?” Sirius asked hoarsely as they were leaving the Order's headquarters again, both looking exhausted.
“Home…” Remus replied quietly, not meeting Sirius’s gaze as he realised that their time was over now, that there wouldn’t be another full moon with the dog, another night of feeling Sirius’s warm body against his own. He would have to return to his cold cottage and empty fridge, and wonder how he was going to get food.
“Don’t be silly, it’s Christmas, come home with me,” Sirius retorted, and before Remus could decline, he found himself tugged along.
It didn’t take long to reach Sirius’s flat. It was a nice, typical bachelor flat, with everything that a man at their age needed and most importantly, it was warm.
“You don’t need to do this, Sirius, I don’t want to be a bother,” Remus said as they had entered the flat, immediately finding Sirius’s hands tugging at his jacket and shoes, then found himself ushered towards the living room.
“You’re not a bother, so shut up and sit down,” the man replied and then disappeared into the kitchen. Remus, feeling too tired to complain, simply let himself drop down on the couch. There was a large fireplace in the living room, pictures standing all along the mantle piece, there was a shelf filled with books, a muggle tv set and a broom leaning against the wall.
Just as Remus was about to get up and check the book collection, Sirius returned, carrying a tray with what smelled like meat pies and two mugs of freshly brewed tea. Smiling shyly, Remus watched as the man put everything down on the small coffee table in front of them, before sitting down next to Remus.
“Tug in before it gets cold,” Sirius said, pushing a mug and a pie in each of Remus’s hands.
“Yes, mum,” Remus managed to tease back hoarsely. He let out a sigh as he sipped the tea and noticed with satisfaction that it had been spiked with alcohol, feeling it instantly soothe his frayed nerves and warm up his body from the inside.
Neither of them spoke for a while, simply eating and drinking, giving them a chance to calm down from everything that had happened. By the time they were done, Remus suddenly found Sirius’s hand on his face, the man’s thumb caressing gently along his skin in a way that made Remus let out a small startled huff.
“You really liked him, didn’t you?” Sirius asked quietly.
“Yeah… I thought…” Remus couldn’t continue, bowing his head and looking away, never really having been good at talking about his emotions.
“I know I am not a werewolf… and I can’t offer the same. But I thought, we’ve spend so much time together already, I really like you, and… fucking hell.” Remus frowned as Sirius’s words didn’t really make a lot of sense, but then the man’s lips were on his and soon they were kissing as if their lives depended on it. When they finally pulled away from each other, it felt as if life had suddenly started making sense again.
Remus realised that Sirius had been his ever since their first full moon. They had practically acted like a couple since the night Sirius had started sharing the bed with him, he had taken care of him when he had been down and had never left his side no matter what. Moreover, he knew that he now had no possible idea how to live without Sirius, and he had to admit to himself that he had rather a lot of warm feelings for him. He couldn’t help but feel foolish for not noticing this any time sooner, and could feel a small, soft smile appear on his lips.
“I don’t need a werewolf to make me happy,” he whispered hoarsely and leaned back in to kiss Sirius again, only pulling back when he heard the faint sound of church bells in the distance.
“Merry Christmas, Sirius.”
“Merry Christmas, Remus,” the man replied, and Remus let himself be pulled into the other man’s arms, warmed by the inkling feeling that he wouldn’t have to worry about his life for a while to come.
Oh, I'm glad we'll be together
On this evening in December
We'll watch the falling snow
And hold each other close
I'm so glad we'll be together
For an evening to remember
On this night
On this December night