Oh well, you got me under your spell and i don't think i can forget you now.
Things have been looking up,
I think the fresh air, comfort of being held and laughing till it hurts made me realize that life really is beautiful. It's those little things in life like tracing the palm of that persons hand and feeling so loved and knowing you can return that feeling, even if its only for a month or minute, those little things make me whole and make life understandable.
I don't feel so stuck anymore, like my mind and body are on pause but life is still moving.
I want to be the person I thought I always was, so talkative, cheerful and accepting of peoples flaws, but now Ive noticed that im blocking so many people away and im so uninterested in getting to know a lot of these people, because from what ive learned they are all the same they all build their pride in seeing you fail, even though they are the ones that sooth you when things go wrong. They cannot be happy for each other because they constantly strive to be better.
In class I notice how people act,things that bothered me before but Ive always ignored it because it wasnt really directed to me now it's just sickening. I don't go one day without hearing a racial joke rather its black asian or whatever "Go back to where you came from" "he can't hear you he doesnt speak english" "stupid korean,dirty mexican, n*****","OMG WHY IS SHE WEARING THAT SHE'S FAT","I heard ____ hooked up with some random guy WHAT A SLUT", when you know very well you've done the same thing. The most beautiful people are the ones that say these vile things, lucky they can smile and make it okay. But it won't always be that easy.
I have pushed some of my close friends away from me, but I think it will better me in the future because I refuse be fake and act like we are still friends or respect them for how they live their life because if thats how they are I do not want to be apart of it.
Even if im lonely, riding myself of those people makes me feel so much more alive.
Thanks to a wonderful guy, Ashley&Chels, Juliet, Danigirl, and Tarik. I know good people still exist.
I think the fresh air, comfort of being held and laughing till it hurts made me realize that life really is beautiful. It's those little things in life like tracing the palm of that persons hand and feeling so loved and knowing you can return that feeling, even if its only for a month or minute, those little things make me whole and make life understandable.
I don't feel so stuck anymore, like my mind and body are on pause but life is still moving.
I want to be the person I thought I always was, so talkative, cheerful and accepting of peoples flaws, but now Ive noticed that im blocking so many people away and im so uninterested in getting to know a lot of these people, because from what ive learned they are all the same they all build their pride in seeing you fail, even though they are the ones that sooth you when things go wrong. They cannot be happy for each other because they constantly strive to be better.
In class I notice how people act,things that bothered me before but Ive always ignored it because it wasnt really directed to me now it's just sickening. I don't go one day without hearing a racial joke rather its black asian or whatever "Go back to where you came from" "he can't hear you he doesnt speak english" "stupid korean,dirty mexican, n*****","OMG WHY IS SHE WEARING THAT SHE'S FAT","I heard ____ hooked up with some random guy WHAT A SLUT", when you know very well you've done the same thing. The most beautiful people are the ones that say these vile things, lucky they can smile and make it okay. But it won't always be that easy.
I have pushed some of my close friends away from me, but I think it will better me in the future because I refuse be fake and act like we are still friends or respect them for how they live their life because if thats how they are I do not want to be apart of it.
Even if im lonely, riding myself of those people makes me feel so much more alive.
Thanks to a wonderful guy, Ashley&Chels, Juliet, Danigirl, and Tarik. I know good people still exist.