I fear a world where the telephone calls we make to others and vice versa defines what friendship truly is.
To cite a couple questions I had, I must wonder why, after listing the following:
-I've been given reasons indirectly(basically meaning they said it behind my back, but I was there when it got said) from the person that they don't like me/can't tolerate me anymore -I work a lot -I go to school full time while working, and because of my laziness/procrastination if I derail from my routine schedule by hanging out all the time my grades will certainly slip
....you felt the need to say this:
This is not all my fault, you could call too right? Of course, unless you don't care that much to. Which brings me back to the whole "how good of friends were we really?"
So, not caring enough to call is an option for us, but not for you?
It has always seemed to easy to point fingers via Livejournal. And this is generally the part of every Livejournal such as this where you get the comments like "You know you can always count on me!" or "We're friends, right?". I don't need to tell you any of that. Whatever pertains to me does. Why make excuses?
But you know what? I think you know me better than that. I think you know all of us better than that.
Well I hope I know you better than that, but how can I be too sure? It's not like I see you every day like I used to in high school, and I agree with you when you say that you fear that phone calls that people make to each other will define what friendship is; but thats how it has to be for me. and I felt the need to say it because it is true, and I was going for a pro honesty appeal in this entry, yet shying away from taking things to a personal level. "So, not caring enough to call is an option for us, but not for you?" I'll agree, it is an option for me, but its really not one that I'm choosing. Not only in this entry but in the past one (or however many) I've stated the exact same claims as I did in the above entry.
Whats funny Heidi, is that I haven't hung out with you since the end of summer. Thats unfair. I wish it wasn't like that, but it happened. But you never called, I never called. I haven't even talked to anyone online in forever either. So its not just you.
And its not just you on other levels either. I will say that I agree with everything you said, and basically thats why I said that this entry was pointless.
on a personal level with me though, it is my journal so I expressed how I felt. I'll even appologize for bitching, I'm sorry. I have had so much, way too much to be completely honest going on in my life all at once, and if you notice, I hardly ever update this anymore. Thats the best justification I can give.
To end, I will say I miss you a lot. I hope you miss me too. And to that extent, when(or if) I get some free time I will call you or IM you and then maybe we can talk or do something.
To cite a couple questions I had, I must wonder why, after listing the following:
-I've been given reasons indirectly(basically meaning they said it behind my back, but I was there when it got said) from the person that they don't like me/can't tolerate me anymore
-I work a lot
-I go to school full time while working, and because of my laziness/procrastination if I derail from my routine schedule by hanging out all the time my grades will certainly slip
....you felt the need to say this:
This is not all my fault, you could call too right?
Of course, unless you don't care that much to.
Which brings me back to the whole "how good of friends were we really?"
So, not caring enough to call is an option for us, but not for you?
It has always seemed to easy to point fingers via Livejournal. And this is generally the part of every Livejournal such as this where you get the comments like "You know you can always count on me!" or "We're friends, right?". I don't need to tell you any of that. Whatever pertains to me does. Why make excuses?
But you know what? I think you know me better than that. I think you know all of us better than that.
Reply
"So, not caring enough to call is an option for us, but not for you?"
I'll agree, it is an option for me, but its really not one that I'm choosing.
Not only in this entry but in the past one (or however many) I've stated the exact same claims as I did in the above entry.
Whats funny Heidi, is that I haven't hung out with you since the end of summer. Thats unfair. I wish it wasn't like that, but it happened. But you never called, I never called. I haven't even talked to anyone online in forever either. So its not just you.
And its not just you on other levels either.
I will say that I agree with everything you said, and basically thats why I said that this entry was pointless.
on a personal level with me though, it is my journal so I expressed how I felt. I'll even appologize for bitching, I'm sorry.
I have had so much, way too much to be completely honest going on in my life all at once, and if you notice, I hardly ever update this anymore. Thats the best justification I can give.
To end, I will say I miss you a lot.
I hope you miss me too.
And to that extent, when(or if) I get some free time I will call you or IM you and then maybe we can talk or do something.
Reply
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