So long old pal -- r.i.p. Lady
Everyone goes through there ups and downs right? And of course, you go through them with your family - the ones you love. Well, yesterday, my dog, Lady passed away... and it wasn't that I didn't have anyone to turn to, because of course my family are always there, but the fact was, that I didn't want to - I made every attempt not to cry infront of them. I think it's something I have to deal with on my own.
I mean, for the past few days, if not weeks, we all knew that she was going to pass away sometime soon. And every time I saw her in pain, it just broke my heart and I couldn't help but break down. But what made it worse was knowing, that there wasn't anything we could do, and that it was only going to be a matter of days.
We've had her for about 13 years now, and I've practically grown up with her. I mean I named her! =) I affectionately named ‘Lady’, after Lady and the Tramp, which was, at the tender age of 4, probably my favourite movie at the time. It was the three of us, Lady, Bessie (my other dog, which I apparently also named, though I honestly have no recollection of it, since I don’t believe I’ve ever liked/loved/or even seen a movie with the name ‘Bessie’ in it - Yes, movies are my source for everything) and I, reeking havoc and unleashing terror round the backyard. =) That’s right… no blade of grass or clothes line was ever safe with us around.
But, I think the truth is that as I got older, I didn’t have enough time for her… for them both. I mean, I couldn’t even be there to say goodbye, I couldn’t bring myself to see her for the last time. I’m just so disappointed and angry at myself, for not even being able to do it. But why? 13 years together, and I couldn’t even do that. She has always been more than just a ‘family pet’, so why couldn’t I do it?
I’m a coward, that’s what it is. Plain and simple.
I can’t even talk about her, without wanting to cry, and what makes me more upset is seeing how lonely Bessie is now. Even though they’ve never gotten along, and my friends can vouch for that; fighting like cats and dogs bitches (to use the correct term =)), they were still all each other had. I nearly cried today, seeing Bessie hanging around near Lady was buried, as though looking for her, thinking that she’ll come back. Mum even said, that in the last few days before Lady died, that Bessie would lie next to her, comforting her - and this my friends, is something I can tell you now, would never have happened…
Look, I don’t know, I just thought, writing something about her would make me feel better, but it’s only made me feel worse…
R.I.P Lady
The best friend, I was lucky to have.
(1994-2007)