i ain't never had nobody like you
Well. I qualled for nationals, state, and apparently got married and had a child in Hy Vee without my knowing. Tough week.
[I know I steal too many things from other people, but I'm a thief, and that's what I do. :) ]
THE 'PRAISE BE!' LIST:
alhamdulillah for...
- saffron, poetry, exasperation, and other things that come out of Iran
- nachos (what do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO CHEESE). Namely, nachos with fake cheese, beans, guacamole, and extra jalapenos (what do you call a nosy pepper? JALAPENO BUSINESS).
- speech gossip
- Sarah Palin jokes in extemp intros
- lookin' snazzy
- other people falling in love with other people, without me being involved
- cheap haircuts
- people who have gum in German class (that's right after lunch, I'll have you know)
- amusing bathroom graffiti (A: Jasmine a BITCH. B: I think you need a verb, ma'am...)
- falling asleep on someone else's couch and waking up without food smeared all over your face
- parents who don't speak english but who want to feed you lots of yummy stuff.
- good friends. and an all-over lack of mean people, or at least mean people that I have to deal with.
So, I qualified for nationals...but I can't go due to my grandmother's 75th in Hawai'i. Darn. Though I'm being a little ungrateful, by still feeling disappointed about nationals after finding out the team (comprised of many a BFF). Aaaagh. At the very least, I might be going to Albany for CATNATS, otherwise known as Catholic Nationals. You don't have to be Catholic, you just have to live in close proximity with people who are. (Schlessinjew informed me that his brothers went in Congress last year and they are, well, Jews.) It still kind of sounds like the intro to a joke, though.
A Muslim girl walks into CATNATS and the bartender asks...
I'm also considering filing for divorce. I went to Hy Vee with Neema to get orange juice and pinapple slushies the other day and some random brown child was running amok. A terrified-looking old lady told us that we ought to keep a closer watch on our children, and the cashier mentioned something about having all the right ingredients for 'entertaining back at your place'.
Oy vey. If wearing a scarf makes me married to whomever middle-eastern-looking is standing next to me, then I want Reza Aslan. And preferably someone who doesn't poison me with beef on occasion (not only am I already weak to it, I haven't eaten a proper portion of it for about a year and a half).
Speaking of which. I've eaten so much crap this week with Eric and Maesen, it's ridiculous. Tacos today, buckets of chicken tomorrow. Aaaagh. But the speech season ends in May, right?
Downside of being an extemper--I have to write all of the articles in the school newspaper about the Obama stimulus package, because I'm the only one who knows what it is/actually cares. Exciting days, exciting times.
___
I'm trying to pull off a short story contest entry in three days--The Things Blind Men See. I'm such a noob, I can't believe it. But I'm just naive enough to believe I can do it...sort of.
[I know I steal too many things from other people, but I'm a thief, and that's what I do. :) ]
THE 'PRAISE BE!' LIST:
alhamdulillah for...
- saffron, poetry, exasperation, and other things that come out of Iran
- nachos (what do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO CHEESE). Namely, nachos with fake cheese, beans, guacamole, and extra jalapenos (what do you call a nosy pepper? JALAPENO BUSINESS).
- speech gossip
- Sarah Palin jokes in extemp intros
- lookin' snazzy
- other people falling in love with other people, without me being involved
- cheap haircuts
- people who have gum in German class (that's right after lunch, I'll have you know)
- amusing bathroom graffiti (A: Jasmine a BITCH. B: I think you need a verb, ma'am...)
- falling asleep on someone else's couch and waking up without food smeared all over your face
- parents who don't speak english but who want to feed you lots of yummy stuff.
- good friends. and an all-over lack of mean people, or at least mean people that I have to deal with.
So, I qualified for nationals...but I can't go due to my grandmother's 75th in Hawai'i. Darn. Though I'm being a little ungrateful, by still feeling disappointed about nationals after finding out the team (comprised of many a BFF). Aaaagh. At the very least, I might be going to Albany for CATNATS, otherwise known as Catholic Nationals. You don't have to be Catholic, you just have to live in close proximity with people who are. (Schlessinjew informed me that his brothers went in Congress last year and they are, well, Jews.) It still kind of sounds like the intro to a joke, though.
A Muslim girl walks into CATNATS and the bartender asks...
I'm also considering filing for divorce. I went to Hy Vee with Neema to get orange juice and pinapple slushies the other day and some random brown child was running amok. A terrified-looking old lady told us that we ought to keep a closer watch on our children, and the cashier mentioned something about having all the right ingredients for 'entertaining back at your place'.
Oy vey. If wearing a scarf makes me married to whomever middle-eastern-looking is standing next to me, then I want Reza Aslan. And preferably someone who doesn't poison me with beef on occasion (not only am I already weak to it, I haven't eaten a proper portion of it for about a year and a half).
Speaking of which. I've eaten so much crap this week with Eric and Maesen, it's ridiculous. Tacos today, buckets of chicken tomorrow. Aaaagh. But the speech season ends in May, right?
Downside of being an extemper--I have to write all of the articles in the school newspaper about the Obama stimulus package, because I'm the only one who knows what it is/actually cares. Exciting days, exciting times.
___
I'm trying to pull off a short story contest entry in three days--The Things Blind Men See. I'm such a noob, I can't believe it. But I'm just naive enough to believe I can do it...sort of.