So seriously guys, what the fuck?
No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise.
-Rorschach from Watchmen
After a long hiatus from this journal I've finally found my way back to it. Freshman year has been crazy busy. However, I come here today to get something out that has been bothering me for a few months now.
This started when I was having a conversation with my best friend who very recently got engaged. Due to some complications with loans and what not she wasn't able to get money to go back for a second semester at the University. No big, shit happens, plus with working full time she'll be able to save up more money for the wedding, etc. She's bright, she'll go back, right? She won't end up like her brother who she describes as a 'fuck up who never reached his potential' who got married and then dropped out of college.
We met for lunch back in January and once again our conversation came back to her wedding and how excited she was. It also worked in her plans for college.
"Well," She sipped down some water through a clear straw. "I guess I'll get a degree so I can support myself if anything happens. But what I really want to be is a stay at home wife and write when I have free time."
There was a solid beat of silence in my mind before I just smiled and nodded. Honestly, there was nothing else I could think of doing. This was the girl who just last year wanted to become an accountant and be a strong independent woman. She was so gifted and bright, so why couldn't she? She wanted to make her parents proud, the parents that never thought they would have a kid go to college. There was no way in hell that she was going to slide down and get stuck working some minimal wage job. No! She had potential and she knew it.
So. What the fuck happened?
Another case. A friend of mine just graduated college with a four year degree in Spanish to fulfill her life long dream of being a missionary in South America. The same girl who struggled to get the money she needed just to go to school. She fought so hard for this. She is now currently working in a Bath and Body works after turning down an offer to work in Nicaragua.
Why?
My sister just took a job with a company she hates and swore she would never work for. She seems miserable. Any one would. She was the one that was so sure she was going to change the world.
And do you want to know the saddest thing? These are only a few people who have given up. I know too many who just slide off and let go of what they want so easily. Most of my friends have either gone back to community college after having their self esteem crushed by a four year university, have decided to take a year off, or dropped out all together. These people all had dreams! They all had hopes and wishes. They all wanted to make something of themselves. How come it feels like I'm the only one who hasn't given up? How come I, not nearly as ambitious as most, have decided to stick my dream through to the bitter end, no matter what the cost?
It's easy to have dreams, but it's scary and it's hard to fulfill them. Dreams are ever changing too, and there is a difference between that and just fucking giving up. College is hard and reality hits you like a train. Life is hard. You gotta constantly fight to get what you want. But where is the satisfaction in those who get whatever they want whenever they want it? Where is the accomplishment in something you didn't have to work for? Why are all these people just giving up on their dreams and compromising for the ordinary?
Fuck compromise! Don't let life take control of you. You take control of life. Take that punch straight to the face and power through. Don't let anything stand in your way! Sure, things aren't what you thought they would be but you know what? You're better than that. You're stronger than that. Come on! Fight!
Let's see some fucking heroes.