(no subject)
my body keeps throwing fits.human relationships are complicated.nothing new,nothing new.
I kinda can't help but laugh a sad little,because half the time I must look like a Turretz kid.My muscles contracting tiwtching and moving without me.You people don't want to see me like this.Don't want to see me when I move my neck in one direction and I am half blinded by a searing pain in my muscles,hearing my bones & joints pop and creak like an old woman's.
& I don't want to tell you.Because I don't want you to worry,little children of mine.Mommy will be alright.(I am heavy of maternal personality,& I assure you I mean none of this motherly stuff in a negative or condescending way.)
My hands type without me,my lips speak without me,& my vocal chords get slipped up in the exchange,I say the wrong words,& I do the wrong thing;something besides what I want to say or do.Maybe those concussions,many of them over time,have gotten to me.Maybe I am really some sort of mentally ill.maybe it was growing up on Ritalin that my mother couldn't choke down my throat half the time.hell if I know.
& it's not like i'm bothering with any western doctor or methods or medicine to find out.they've fucked me & my family over enough.
I dunno.People are confused,are confusing,& so am I.What the hell am I doing here.the words are coming out all weird.where are you now,when I need you?
I kinda can't help but laugh a sad little,because half the time I must look like a Turretz kid.My muscles contracting tiwtching and moving without me.You people don't want to see me like this.Don't want to see me when I move my neck in one direction and I am half blinded by a searing pain in my muscles,hearing my bones & joints pop and creak like an old woman's.
& I don't want to tell you.Because I don't want you to worry,little children of mine.Mommy will be alright.(I am heavy of maternal personality,& I assure you I mean none of this motherly stuff in a negative or condescending way.)
My hands type without me,my lips speak without me,& my vocal chords get slipped up in the exchange,I say the wrong words,& I do the wrong thing;something besides what I want to say or do.Maybe those concussions,many of them over time,have gotten to me.Maybe I am really some sort of mentally ill.maybe it was growing up on Ritalin that my mother couldn't choke down my throat half the time.hell if I know.
& it's not like i'm bothering with any western doctor or methods or medicine to find out.they've fucked me & my family over enough.
I dunno.People are confused,are confusing,& so am I.What the hell am I doing here.the words are coming out all weird.where are you now,when I need you?