Gravity [1]
Title: Gravity
Beta: atriums
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Drama
Summary: One of his rules was that he didn’t sleep with military men, but this man was different.
“What can I get you?”
The military man looked up from the table, and Jaejoong smiled. He’d seen the other man from where he was seated in front of the piano, and needless to say, his interest had been piqued.
“Nothing. I’m good,” he man replied brusquely, making it quite obvious that he really didn’t want anything. His eyes hardly even lingered upon Jaejoong’s face for more than a few seconds, and that was something the pianist was unused to.
Jaejoong licked his lips and turned his head. Yoochun was frowning at him from his place at the bar, and Jaejoong merely turned his head to ignore his best friend. The man in front of him was one of the best looking men that had stepped into the bar, and the fact that he wasn’t accepting Jaejoong’s invitation was making him even more interesting.
“Would you mind if I sit?”
The man looked up, and he shrugged. “If you wish.”
Jaejoong slid into the booth, and just as he’d gotten comfortable, the other man slid out of the booth and left the pianist to gape after him.
o-o-o
“Things aren’t letting up, huh?” Jaejoong asked as he slipped behind the bar counter to help Yoochun clean up the bar counter. He took the newspaper out of the bartender’s hands and flipped through it. “Death, war, death -“
Yoochun took the newspaper out of Jaejoong’s hands and folded it up. He set it down onto the bar counter and leaned against it. “You should be glad that no one’s coming in here and telling you to enlist.”
“I’m too pretty to enlist,” Jaejoong said with a small smile before he looked away. The bar was still empty. They’d yet to open their doors for the night, but they would in a few minutes. “Speaking of which, when are you going to hire more people for this place? We’re getting a lot more people than usual.”
“I talked to a few people in my building,” Yoochun replied as he wiped a couple of martini glasses. “I found a couple of people who’d be good for the staff. As soon as I straighten everything out, they’ll be working here next week.”
A small pout came onto Jaejoong’s face. “So it won’t be just you and I anymore?”
Yoochun shook his head and laughed, “I’m sorry, but I’m sure you know just as well as I do that we need more people around here. You better not go all first child syndrome on them. I don’t care how well and how long I’ve known you. If you’re going to be a bitch, I’m going to call you out on bad behavior.”
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose. “I never show bad behavior.”
“Yeah, sure,” Yoochun replied disbelievingly. He set the glasses back onto the rack and then turned his head to look at Jaejoong, who was absentmindedly tracing circles onto the bar counter.
He sighed then looked at Yoochun, who was studying him. “Yes?”
“I saw you hitting on that military guy last night,” Yoochun said with a disapproving frown. “Look Jaejoong, you have to know your limits. I know that some of these military guys show interest, and you like that, but you can’t just going around hitting on them…especially if they’re not interested. It’s not safe.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh. He picked up a dish rag off the table and swatted Yoochun with it. “I know my limits. Okay? I’ll be fine. He’s not going to beat me up or anything, I’m pretty sure he’s not that kind of guy. I’m a pretty good judge of character, so you’ll just have to trust my choices -“
“Jaejoong, you don’t know that guy,” Yoochun replied, his frown deepening. “I worry about you, you know? I know you have a thing for these military guys, and often, I respect that…but you have to be careful. You can’t just start forgetting that these military guys carry a lot of baggage around with them -“
The older man let out a sigh. He looked away from Yoochun and set the dish rag back onto the counter. “I get it. I won’t touch him again.” He glanced at Yoochun, “But, if he approaches me first, I’m not going to say no.”
“What makes you think he’s going to approach you?” Yoochun asked as Jaejoong left the bar counter to open up. “He looked pretty cold last night Jaejoong, I highly doubt he’s just going to walk up to you tonight.”
Jaejoong turned around, “Just you wait! I’ll show you.” He walked up to the door, and as soon as he’d opened them, he was greeted by a crowd of military men who were waiting outside. He shot them all a genuine smile, and they greeted him before they pushed past him and went inside. He didn’t bother to follow them inside and looked around the street, wondering if the man from earlier was showing up. He waited for a minute or so, but after deciding that he wasn’t coming, Jaejoong headed back inside.
Stretching his fingers out, Jaejoong began to make his way to the piano. To be honest, he was fairly sure that most of the bar’s patrons didn’t actually care that much about his piano playing. They came to the bar to relax because it was a place where they could forget about the visions of war, the demands of their superiors, and the harsh realities that they would face in the morning. Jaejoong figured that his piano playing was his own kind of civil service.
He played a simple piece - he’d forgotten the title, but it was one that he’d first picked up from his piano tutor a long time ago. His fingers moved nimbly across the ebony and ivory keys, and for a few minutes, Jaejoong lost himself in the music. This was what he enjoyed in life. It was almost as natural to him as breathing.
As soon as he’d finished, there were polite claps that resounded around the room. He turned his head to acknowledge his audience and shot them all a small smile. There were more people in the audience which was now composed of a more equal amount of men and women. His eyes scanned the patrons, but as his gaze swept across the room, his eyes landed upon someone sitting on his own.
It was the same man from the night before.
A small smile came upon Jaejoong’s lips, and he felt a pair of eyes on him. He turned his gaze away from the man, and he caught sight of Yoochun, he was glowering at him with an obvious look of disapproval. Jaejoong waved at him, laughed, and then turned back to piano.
It was time to play something nice and happy.
o-o-o
Over the next few days, Jaejoong determined his next course of action. It hadn’t been a smart idea for him to approach the other man in such a bold fashion. If there was one thing he knew about the quiet types, it was that the best method was for them to open up first. They couldn’t be pushed, forced or prodded into talking, or else that would make them shut themselves off further.
So, Jaejoong decided that the first thing he had to do was find out more about the other. By finding out what the other was like, he was sure that he’d find some way to find himself all the more alluring and worthy of the mysterious military man’s attentions.
“Why’s that other guy always alone?”
Seunghyun looked up from his scotch and raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
Jaejoong gestured subtly to his mystery man, who was still nursing his vodka by himself, with his thumb. The Second Lieutenant glanced in that direction then chuckled. He raised his glass to his lips, took a sip of his drink, and then asked, “Why, what’s he to you?”
“Am I not allowed to ask questions anymore?” Jaejoong said with a pout.
The younger man shook his head in amusement. “Well, your questions always tend to lead somewhere. Your questions are never just questions.” He traced the rim of his glass then looked at Jaejoong. “Lieutenant Colonel Jung Yunho.”
“Interesting.” Jaejoong said, trying to sound dismissive of the information. It was a difficult task for him to not look back at the table where the other was seated, but he forced himself to keep his attention away from the other. He cleared his throat and leaned forward, “So -“
“I knew you had something else to say.”
The older man scowled. “Shush.”
“You have to buy me another drink,” Seunghyun said as he leaned back into his booth. He smirked at Jaejoong, “I’m not giving this information away for free.” He took a cigarette out of the pack that was on the table and lit it. “It’s either you get me another glass, or I’m going home.”
Before Jaejoong could protest, another person slid into the booth next to Seunghyun. The other Second Lieutenant glanced between them and drummed his fingers onto the table. “So, what were you two talking about?”
“He’s asking about Lieutenant Colonel Jung Yunho,” Seunhyun replied as he scooted over so that Changmin would have more room. Before Jaejoong could cut in, he continued speaking, “And I was just telling the lovely pianist over here that I’d like a free drink before I divulged any more information.”
“A good course of action,” Changmin grinned and leaned back into his seat. “I know things about the Lieutenant Colonel too, so I’d like a drink as well.”
The pianist’s mouth fell open in shock. He quickly turned to glare at the two, “Hey, I have to support myself you know. There are groceries that need to be bought, and my rent that I have to pay for. I can’t keep buying drinks for you two the whole night.”
The two military men shared a look then turned their eyes back to Jaejoong.
“Just one drink each then,” Changmin suggested. “I’ll have my usual.”
Seunghyun raised his glass, “And I’ll have another of this.”
Jaejoong’s eyes darted between the two soldiers, and after he was sure that they weren’t just joking with him, he scowled. He stared disapprovingly at both of them then slid out of the booth. He placed a hand on the table and then used his other hand to point at the two soldiers.
“If neither of you end up sharing anything interesting, I will strangle you both. I don’t care if you two have fancy military training. I will be fuelled by intense rage and poverty, so don’t think that I’m incapable of killing you both.”
He narrowed his eyes to further his point and pointed at the two. “Got it?”
The soldiers laughed and saluted him mockingly. “Sir yes sir.”
o-o-o
As soon as he’d gotten the drinks, Jaejoong placed them down onto the table and slid back into the booth. He crossed his arms and glowered at the two, “So, it’s time for you to talk. What do you both know about him?”
Seunghyun took a sip of his new drink and then looked at Changmin. “Did you train under him? I’ve only been with him a couple of times, but nothing too long for me to gain that much of a sure opinion of his character.”
“Yeah, I trained under him for around six months when I first enlisted,” Changmin replied. “He’s -“
Jaejoong cleared his throat, catching the two’s attention. He shot them both an annoyed look and pointed at himself, “You both were kind of supposed to be talking to me. After all, I’m the kind person that paid for those drinks that you two are currently enjoying at the moment.”
Changmin looked at Jaejoong with a bored expression on his face. “Why aren’t you playing the piano? Don’t you have a job to do?” He looked around the bar then turned to gesture to the currently abandoned piano, “I like it better when you play the piano.”
“Hey, I paid for your fucking drink,” Jaejoong hissed. “Give me what I want.”
Seunghyun chuckled, “Well, I heard he’s a nice guy. He’s a pretty decent man from what I’ve heard. His sister’s pretty hot -“
“Yeah, she is. Have you seen her legs? Sometimes I wish that the Colonel Lieutenant lived on base, that way -“
Jaejoong’s frown deepened. “You two can’t be serious right now.” He narrowed his eyes and glared at the two. “I don’t want to hear about Jung Yunho’s sister. I want to hear more about Jung Yunho. Please, stop annoying me with all your side conversations and get to the -“
“You’re so pushy, but fine.” Changmin took a sip of his drink then scowled at Seunghyun, who’d blown a cloud of smoke into his face. He relaxed into his seat and stared at Jaejoong, “What do you want to know exactly?”
“Why is he so quiet?” Jaejoong asked as he leaned forward. He made sure to keep his voice low, “And why isn’t he ever with anyone? I mean…he’s an attractive man, and I’m sure women wouldn’t hesitate to keep him company.”
A hesitant look crossed Changmin’s face, and he glanced at Seunghyun before he turned his eyes back to Jaejoong. He leaned closer and lowered his voice, making sure no one would be able to overhear, “You can’t breathe a word about this. I’m pretty sure it’s rude to talk about people’s personal lives like this. If you mention this to the Lieutenant Colonel ever, I’m sure we’re going to get killed - so shut up.”
Jaejoong frowned at the wording of Changmin’s request but replied politely, “Yeah, of course.”
Changmin sighed, “Well, I heard his wife left him, and he hasn’t been the same since.” He held his drink and glanced at Seunghyun, who was nodding his head. “A year or so after they got married, I heard she ran off on him. She was one of those beauty queen types from what I remember of her. I remember seeing her around base when I was still in training, and she was definitely a stunning sight to look at.”
“I heard she married some rich older man not soon after she left the Lieutenant Colonel.” Seunghyun added, “Yunho doesn’t really have anyone right now...though, I hear his sister lives with him.”
Jaejoong frowned deeply then looked up at the two. “When did his wife leave him?”
“Almost two years ago?” Changmin recalled as he rested his chin against the palm of his hand. He looked at Seunghyun for affirmation, and the latter nodded in agreement. “I think it’ll be two years soon. She left around Christmas time…”
“I suggest you just stay away from him,” Seunghyun said as he lifted his glass up to his lips and crushed the butt of his cigarette into the ash tray. He looked up at Jaejoong and held the other’s gaze, “Military men like ourselves have enough mental baggage. Imagine how much worse his whole situation is.”
“Yeah, don’t bother Jaejoong,” Changmin added as he moved off the table and leaned back into his seat. “Besides, you need someone…I don’t know, someone without any baggage to bring into a relationship. Someone nice, stable, and attentive would be good for you. Don’t go looking around for troubled types.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh and reached for Seunghyun’s pack of cigarettes. He took one and grabbed his lighter from his pocket. He could feel the two men in front of him watching carefully as he then proceeded to take a drag from the cigarette.
“Don’t you think he’s interesting?” Jaejoong asked after he’d exhaled a cloud of smoke. Something was nagging him at the back of his head. It was like he could feel someone staring at him, but he was too nervous to look back and find out who it was.
Changmin rolled his eyes. “No, I think he’s troubled.” He shook his head at Jaejoong disapprovingly and his frown deepened, “I’m telling you Jaejoong, don’t try to start something with him. You’ll only get hurt.”
“Maybe I’m a masochist.” Jaejoong teased, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. He turned his head back, and his breath caught in his throat when he met a pair of dark eyes staring back at him.
It was like the other man was staring into his soul, and it was incredibly unsettling, but at the same time, absolutely magnetizing. Jaejoong watched as the man took a last sip of his drink, left money on the table, and then turned away. His eyes lingered upon the other’s back, and he gazed longingly as the Lieutenant Colonel walked out of the bar and escaped back out onto the dark city streets.
When he turned back, Changmin and Seunghyun were looking at him with equally confused expressions.
Jaejoong opened his mouth in an attempt to explain, but he could come up with nothing and shut his mouth slowly. He stared at his hands, trying to think of a reason behind the rapid beating of his heart, but once again, he came up short. He shook his head, let out a sigh and reached for Changmin’s glass.
He downed the rest of amber liquid in the glass, but it did nothing to satisfy the curiosity and desire that was coursing in his blood.
o-o-o
The new people were already in the bar, and while Jaejoong was fine with them, he felt odd. It was weird to not be the only person around Yoochun anymore, and it was weird to have to stick by the piano for most of the evening now. While yes, it was his original job to play the piano, he’d liked going around the patrons and socializing with them. Now however, with the waiters and waitresses already doing the socializing, he was stuck by his piano.
Jaejoong exhaled deeply and took another drag of his cigarette. He was just being jealous and petty, and he was sure of that. He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the brick wall behind him, trying to relax. It was only natural to be jealous he presumed - after all, Yoochun was the most important person in his life at the moment. Yoochun was the one who’d given him a home away from home and was practically an extension of himself.
“It’ll go away,” Jaejoong whispered to himself before he took another drag. He opened his eyes and watched as the smoke he exhaled escaped out into the cold night air, the faint wisps eventually disappearing into the darkness.
He licked his chapped lips and just as he was about to throw his cigarette onto the ground and stomp it out, he noticed someone walking alone on the streets. Jaejoong stepped out from the alleyway and saw the Lieutenant Colonel about to cross the street. He leaned against the wall and formed his lips into a pout as he waited for the other man to notice him.
When he was a few steps away and already only a couple of steps from the bar’s main door, the soldier paused, and Jaejoong took that as his opportunity to say something.
“Another table for one?” he drawled, trying to keep his voice low and seductive. He held the other man’s gaze and maintained his relaxed posture, “If you need someone, I’m here you know.”
The soldier studied Jaejoong for a few seconds before he turned away from his original direction and walked over to Jaejoong. His eyes raked over Jaejoong’s body, and it sent shivers down the pianist’s spine. “For how long?”
“As long as you want,” Jaejoong whispered, his body practically itching to touch the other man. He’d never felt such a strong attraction to someone else before, and his body felt as if it was being magnetized. All he wanted to do was close the distance between their bodies and feel the other man’s solid frame against his.
He licked his lips, and Jaejoong felt even more of a thrill when the other man’s eyes temporarily flicked downwards to watch the action. To be honest, he didn’t care if he was moving fast. All he wanted was something to fulfill the urges that he so desperately needed to satisfy, and he was further encouraged by the fact that the other man seemed attracted to him as well.
As much as he liked flirting with men, he knew better than to simply invite anyone over to his apartment. He was a good judge of character, and because of that, it’d been months since he’d last found someone to bring home. One of his rules was that he didn’t sleep with military men, but this man was different. He could simply tell. The desire that consumed him wasn’t so one-sided, he was sure of it.
There was such a strong feeling of sexual tension in the air, and Jaejoong didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Although the other man hadn’t even touched him, he could feel the stirrings of arousal whenever the other raked his eyes over his body. It was taking more than generous amounts of willpower for him to hold back from cupping the other’s face and sealing the distance between their lips.
“How far is your place?” The man questioned, and a smirk immediately made its way across Jaejoong’s lips.
“Not far. I’ll show you the way,” Jaejoong drawled before he ran his tongue over his lower lip, brushed past the other man and began to walk in the direction of his apartment building.
o-o-o
Jaejoong flicked on the lights of his apartment, and he turned around to smile devilishly at his guest. He shrugged his coat off then tossed it onto a chair. Although he already knew the other man’s name, he figured it would still be appropriate to ask.
“What did you say your name was?”
“Yunho.”
The pianist walked over to the soldier slowly and stopped as soon as he was in front of him. He looked up at the other and hooked his arms around the other’s neck, his fingers toying with the strands of the other’s hair. “Have you ever slept with a man before Yunho?”
The military man’s hands settled at the other’s waist, and when a hand reached down to cup at Jaejoong’s ass, the pianist’s eyes widened significantly.
He hadn’t been expecting that at all.
“No,” Yunho murmured as he leaned down, his breath ghosting against Jaejoong’s face. His cheek brushed against Jaejoong’s as he moved forward to kiss behind Jaejoong’s ear, “But that won’t be a problem, will it?” Teeth grazed against Jaejoong’s earlobe, and the pianist let out a low moan.
“I suppose I’ll have to teach you a few things,” Jaejoong whispered as he began to slowly grind his hips against Yunho’s. “But we’ll have to go my bedroom before I can show you -“
Jaejoong was backed up against the wall, and his head hit it with a thud. A feeling of fear clenched his heart momentarily, but it slipped away as soon as the other man captured his lips. The other man urged for him to open his lips, and Jaejoong complied, letting out a muffled moan as soon as Yunho’s tongue wrapped around his. He could hardly breathe as Yunho’s tongue explored his mouth, and his mind was hazy with pleasure.
When Yunho pulled away, Jaejoong stared back at him.
A smirk crossed the military man’s lips before he began to work at the buttons of Jaejoong’s shirt. Feeling incredibly thrown off, Jaejoong was determined to get back the control he’d lost. He pushed Yunho’s hands away from his chest then fell to his knees before he promptly began to work at the buckle of Yunho’s belt. With surprising swiftness and skillfulness, Jaejoong managed to undo the belt and pull down Yunho’s boxers and pants to his knees.
He looked up at Yunho. “Lesson one,” he breathed out before he leaned forward to take the tip of Yunho’s cock into his mouth. The groan that escaped the military man’s mouth delighted Jaejoong and encouraged him to open his mouth a little wider to adjust to Yunho’s size. He gripped Yunho’s thighs and pulled him closer before he began to bob up and down, his nose brushing against the other man’s pubic hair, and his mouth sucking the other man’s cock teasingly.
Jaejoong felt Yunho’s hands grasp his hair, trying to push his cock back into the other’s mouth. The other man’s hands tugged at Jaejoong’s hair while he sucked, and Jaejoong was glad that it seemed like Yunho was controlling himself from bucking into his mouth because it made things easier for him.
“Fuck,” Yunho hissed as Jaejoong pulled away, his lips glistening with pre-cum and saliva. The pianist grinned and pressed a kiss to the base of the other man’s cock before he got off his knees and drew himself back up to his full height.
“Did you like that sweetheart?” Jaejoong drawled teasingly before he leaned forward to tug at Yunho’s earlobe with his teeth. “Let’s go to my bedroom?”
“Why don’t we just do it here?” Yunho questioned as his hands pushed Jaejoong’s shirt off his shoulders. He tossed it aside onto the floor and stepped out of his boxers and pants. Before Jaejoong could say anything, Yunho pushed him back up against the wall.
“What do you say?”
Jaejoong could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and he stared at Yunho with a shocked expression. “I…I thought you’ve never slept with a man before,” he whispered as he felt strong arms grip his waist. “You’re so bold.”
“There’s just…”
“I like it,” Jaejoong murmured teasingly before he pushed Yunho away and began to head for his room. He turned around and bit at his lip, “But I don’t want to have sex with you in my kitchen.”
As soon as he was inside his bedroom, Jaejoong stripped out of the rest of his clothes quickly and tossed them aside before he headed over to his bedside table. He opened the drawer, found a condom and bottle of oil then turned around with them in hand. He paused when he saw Yunho standing near the bed, as equally undressed as he was.
Jaejoong blushed at the sight of the other man than looked away. For some reason, he could feel oddly nervous about the whole thing. He tossed the condom and bottle onto the bed then walked over to Yunho. He set one hand on the other’s waist and used the other to cup his face.
“Any regrets?” he whispered, “You can still back out now.”
“Why do I get this feeling that you’re the one that wants to back out?” Yunho murmured as he pushed Jaejoong onto the bed then climbed over him. He met Jaejoong’s eyes in the darkness, “Look at you, not so seductive anymore…”
Jaejoong chuckled and bucked his hips up, his erection brushing against Yunho’s. He grinned and hooked his arms around Yunho’s neck, “But what about you? Straight laced military man going out with another man?” His fingers toyed idly with Yunho’s hair and he bucked his hips upward again, “Imagine if anyone found out…”
“I don’t kiss and tell,” Yunho murmured as he kissed Jaejoong’s neck. He nuzzled the pale skin, and Jaejoong shivered underneath him. “Every once in a while, a man has to break his own rules.”
“And I was worth that?” Jaejoong whispered.
“We’ll have to see about that.” Yunho replied, but before Jaejoong could mutter a reply, the other man kissed him, and no other words were spoken.
o-o-o
Jaejoong woke up to the sound of rustling fabric. He opened his eyes slightly, and he was unsurprised to see Yunho getting dressed. He watched the flexing of the other’s back muscles silently, not saying anything to alert the other that he was awake. Yunho stretched his body out, easing away the lingering effects of sleep from his muscles, before reaching down to pick up his shirt which had been carelessly tossed aside the previous evening. Jaejoong watched him silently, and it was only when Yunho was almost completely dressed that he turned around to find Jaejoong staring at him.
“Not going to bother with a goodbye?” Jaejoong questioned, his voice not really showing any emotion. He was still too lazy to untangle himself from his sheets, so he simply hugged his pillow closer and watched Yunho with curious eyes.
Yunho looked at him and then finished buttoning his shirt. “Do you want something from me?” he asked, not looking at Jaejoong. He looked over his clothes and then finally looked at Jaejoong.
“To be honest, I don’t know.” The other man replied as he pulled the bed sheets closer to hide his naked body from the other’s eyes. “Are you lonely?”
“Are you?”
Jaejoong laughed softly and curled up into himself. He licked his lips and adjusted the way his head rested against his pillow before he eventually decided to prop up his elbow and rest his head against the palm of his hand. The soldier was still looking at him, and Jaejoong was surprised about it. To be honest, he hadn’t expected the other to stick around for so long.
“I don’t know.” Jaejoong replied honestly with a weak laugh. His lips formed a small smile. “Maybe…no? Or…” he laughed again, “I think it’s a yes. What about you? Are you feeling lonely in this big, harsh city?”
He sat up and looked at Yunho. “I don’t need much from you, honestly. Look, I can tell that you’re a military guy, so I don’t need you to bring me out on dates or whatever, but I don’t want you to treat me like I’m so fuck toy -“
“What do you think I want from you?”
Jaejoong ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “More than sex? I honestly don’t know at all.” He shot a nervous smile at Yunho, “Oh God, are you going to beat me up now? You’re actually a homophobe, aren’t you? If you are, please don’t hit my face. It’s the most important part of my body -“
“I’m not going to hit you.” Yunho replied, his eyes still observing Jaejoong carefully.
The pianist laughed, genuine laughter escaping his lips. “Okay, I think I know what you want.” Jaejoong brought his knees close to his chest and settled his chin between them, the bed sheets still covering his body. “You need a friend.”
“A friend,” Yunho repeated slowly, a skeptical look on his face. “You think…that I need a friend.”
“Yes?”
“I’ll think about it,” Yunho replied before he turned away and began to make his way out of the bedroom. Jaejoong watched the other man go, and as soon as he heard his front door shut, he laughed and buried his face into his knees.
“I’m fucking crazy.”
o-o-o
After Yunho didn’t show up at the bar for several nights in a row, Jaejoong was sure that he wasn’t coming back. He played the piano, dealt kindly with the patrons, and helped whenever Yoochun needed him to. Yunho’s absence was unsettling, and on the fifth night that he didn’t show up, Jaejoong gave in.
He forcibly pried Seunghyun and Changmin away from their dates and brought them over to another booth. Jaejoong bought them both drinks in advance and pushed the glasses in front of the two soldiers. The two confused soldiers glanced at each other, and before they could say a word, Jaejoong spoke first.
“What happened to Yunho?”
Changmin replied, “I don’t know. Why?” He looked around, “Oh. He’s not here tonight.” His eyes turned back to Jaejoong, “Is that why you’re bothered? Because your crush isn’t -“
“He hasn’t been here for the past five nights,” Jaejoong replied, trying to hold himself back from blurting out that he and the Lieutenant Colonel had slept together. He clasped his hands together and steeled back his nerves. “Did something happen to him?”
Seunghyun shrugged and tapped the end of his cigarette onto the ash tray. “Nothing’s happened to him as far as I know, but I haven’t seen him around base either. I usually see him once or twice.”
“Did he go back to the frontlines or something?”
“No,” Changmin replied as he observed Jaejoong carefully. He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. “Did something happen between the two of you?”
Jaejoong stiffened, and when he saw Changmin’s eyes narrow further, he could feel his palms sweat in nervousness. “What are you talking about? Nothing -“
A man cleared his throat, and all three men turned their heads in the direction of the sound. Yoochun frowned at Jaejoong and pointed at the piano, “As much as I appreciate you going around and being friendly, you have a job to do, don’t you?”
Jaejoong smiled in relief at his best friend, extremely glad that he could escape Changmin’s interrogation. “You’re right. I should go back.” He stood up and looked at the two soldiers in front of him. “We can finish this conversation another day.”
Before anyone could say another word, Jaejoong slipped out of the booth and began to make his way to the piano. He sat down and let out a sigh. He massaged his brow and then placed his fingers onto the keys. He tried to think of something to play, but nothing could come to mind.
He sat in front of the piano for a bit longer but a nagging feeling returned, once again, that someone was watching him. Jaejoong lifted his eyes of the ebony and ivory keys, then turned his head to look at the audience. All of the patrons were busy with their own tiny worlds, and Jaejoong’s eyes swept past the familiar faces until they landed on one memorable face.
The soldier lifted his glass up slightly in acknowledgement, and Jaejoong turned away without responding. He’d pretend to be cold for now, and then later, he would get the explanation he deserved.
o-o-o
The bar was mostly cleared out by now with only a few people lingering behind to exchange whispers and try luring in someone for the night. Jaejoong left the piano with ease and walked up the table where Yunho was seated. He slipped in easily into the seat across the other man but kept a respectful distance from him.
“Where have you been?” Jaejoong asked, trying to keep his curiosity of his voice and trying to go for a tone that was between indifferent and suave. He held the other’s gaze then cocked his head. “Afraid of me?”
“Not quite,” Yunho replied as he raised his glass to his lips. Jaejoong watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and he licked his lips in response before he tore his eyes away from the other’s neck and met his eyes once more.
“What then?” the pianist questioned, now unable to hide the curiosity and slight irritation that he was feeling. “Are you really that unwilling to have me as a friend?” He pouted playfully, “Just ask Yoochun, I’m a nice friend to have.”
“Something came up,” Yunho said before he stood up.
Jaejoong watched him and narrowed his eyebrows slightly, “Where are you going?” he asked.
“The bar’s closing up,” Yunho replied as he gestured around to the near empty bar around them. “We could either leave this to tomorrow night, or we could continue this elsewhere.”
Jaejoong slid out of the booth, “I’ll take the second option, but let me grab something first. I’ll meet you outside.” He turned away from the soldier and made his way to the bar in order to get his paycheck from Yoochun. He sidled up to the bar counter, but before he could open his mouth, the other man spoke first.
“I told you not to get involved with him Jaejoong.” Yoochun muttered as he leaned in close. He placed the glass he’d been holding onto the table and gestured for Jaejoong to come in closer. “What’s wrong with you? Do you want to get hurt in some kind of form?”
Jaejoong frowned slightly. “Nothing’s going on.” He glanced around to make sure no one was nearby and continued, “We’re just friends, okay? I met him outside once when I was out smoking, and he was nice enough. Nothing serious is going to be happening between the two of us, okay?”
Yoochun looked doubtful but gave up and settled for merely sighing at Jaejoong’s recklessness. “Anyway, what do you want?” he picked up the glass he’d been holding and looked at Jaejoong. “I saw you were about to leave with him. What’s preventing you from doing so?”
“I need my salary,” Jaejoong said, plastering a smile onto his face.
The younger man scowled, “I figured.” He shook his head disapprovingly and turned around, “Hold on, I’ll just get the money from my office.” Jaejoong drummed his fingers onto the counter, and when Yoochun came out, he set the bills down in front of Jaejoong’s hand.
“Don’t spend everything tonight.”
“I won’t,” Jaejoong replied with a brighter smile. “Goodnight honey,” he teased before he turned around and made his way out the bar door.
The cold air greeted him as soon as he’d pushed the door open, and he looked around, searching for Yunho. He spotted the man a few steps away, and he tapped his shoulder.
“Let’s get going. We can talk in my apartment.”
“We’re not going to do much talking, are we?”
Jaejoong chuckled and winked. “We can talk later.”
o-o-o
He felt Yunho’s arm graze against his waist, and Jaejoong woke up to turn around. The other man was staring up at the ceiling, and he glanced as soon as he noticed that Jaejoong was looking at him. Jaejoong said nothing and placed his hand over Yunho’s chest, his index finger tracing circles on the other’s tanned skin.
It was almost a month to the day that they’d started sleeping with one another, and Jaejoong couldn’t say he was feeling much regret at all. Yunho didn’t talk much, but he supposed he did enough talking for the both of them. In fact, Jaejoong wasn’t sure if there was anything about him that Yunho didn’t know. He lacked a mouth filter, and seeing as he and Yunho had ended up drinking together several times, Jaejoong was quite sure that he’d spilled about everything he had to say about himself and anything else.
But in one month’s time, he still didn’t know that much about Yunho. The other kept up his walls and kept him away with his secrecy, making it difficult for Jaejoong to progress any further in solving the pieces of the puzzle that was Jung Yunho.
Jaejoong sighed softly and lifted his eyes off Yunho’s chest to gaze at his handsome face. “Are you scared?” he asked, pausing the actions he’d been doing absentmindedly with his hand. He set his hand down flat against Yunho’s chest and could faintly feel a heart beating underneath his palm. The steady drumming of the other man’s heartbeat somehow made him feel like they were closer than they really were.
“Of?” Yunho asked faintly, his eyes still focused on Jaejoong’s ceiling as if it held all the answers to Jaejoong’s numerous questions.
The pianist chuckled softly, his breath ghosting against Yunho’s skin. He nuzzled closer to Yunho’s shoulder and appreciated that the other man didn’t move away. He let out a small sigh and then spoke. “There are so many things for you to be scared of, especially considering what you are in life…war, death, loneliness. There could even be more mundane things, such as thunder or insects. The list goes on and on. Are you really not afraid of anything?”
“I try not to let fear take over my life,” the soldier replied before he turned his eyes to look at Jaejoong. “I don’t muse over what makes me afraid and nor do I dwell upon it, I’d rather go out and get rid of whatever it is. If I can’t get rid of it, then I’d try to get rid of my fear of it instead.”
An amused smile crossed Jaejoong’s face, “Look at you, so brave and mighty. No wonder you’re a soldier. I bet all your enemies go running for cover as soon as you arrive.”
“What about you then?” Yunho asked. “What are you afraid of?”
Jaejoong thought for a moment before he looked up at Yunho. “I’m afraid of cages.” He murmured as he slowly clung to Yunho a little tighter. “I don’t like being restricted or forced down. I want to be the way I am, whenever I want, and with whomever I want...”
“Have you always been this way?”
For a few seconds, Jaejoong froze, his mind immediately jumping to the worst meaning behind the question. Was Yunho talking about his sexuality? Disgust filled Jaejoong as he considered that Yunho was actually questioning his preferences. Just as he was about to consider escaping his own apartment, an arm snuck underneath his body and pulled him closer.
“Do you trust people this easily? Do you always reveal yourself to them so quickly and so earnestly?” Yunho continued, his low voice sending shivers up Jaejoong’s spine as he pressed a gentle kiss behind Jaejoong’s ear. “You’re going to get hurt a lot in life if you keep this up.”
Jaejoong thought of what Changmin and Seunghyun had told him, about how Yunho’s wife had left him for someone else. Had Yunho been like him once? Had he given his all to a woman that had only crushed his delicate heart? The thought made Jaejoong’s heart clench more painfully than it had a month ago, and he turned his head just as Yunho tried to kiss his cheek, resulting in a misplaced kiss to his lips instead.
They stared at each other for a few seconds, secretive gazes in the dark - searching and deciphering as much as they could with what the other was giving.
“Are you going to hurt me?” Jaejoong asked his voice small and barely above a whisper. He didn’t even know why he’d asked the question, but it was something that’d been lingering in the back of his mind as soon as Yunho had uttered his last words.
Yunho stared at him seriously and then reached his hand over to cup Jaejoong’s face with his callused hand. “I don’t tell lies, and I don’t make promises that I can’t keep,” he murmured, his breath tickling against the skin of Jaejoong’s face. His eyes searched Jaejoong’s for a few seconds before he spoke. “I hope that answer is enough for you.”
“Is that a yes?” The pianist questioned.
“I guess,” Yunho replied, his thumb running along Jaejoong’s cheekbone. “But everyone gets hurt by other people, right? Even the ones they care about?” he whispered. “It’s all just a matter of whether or not the same people that hurt you will make everything better.”
Yunho kissed Jaejoong, and Jaejoong felt himself melt against the other’s touch. Their lips melded together perfectly, and despite the perfection of the moment, Jaejoong could feel a gnawing sense of fear begin to grow at the back of his mind.
He was falling, and falling hard.
o-o-o
“Just coffee tonight?” Jaejoong asked as he flicked on the lights to his apartment. He turned around took off his coat before Yunho pulled at the fabric and took it out of his hands for him. The gesture was sweet, and Jaejoong felt his cheeks redden slightly before he commented on it, “Thank you.”
“Tea will be fine,” Yunho replied as he sat down at Jaejoong’s dining table. He placed his hands on the table surface and clasped them together, “Anything warm.”
“Alright then,” Jaejoong replied as he took his teapot out of a cupboard. He placed water in it and then set it on the stove to boil before he made his way over to the table and sat down across Yunho. He stared at the other man, his eyes marveling at the sight of his well-defined jaw and handsome features.
They sat in silence until Yunho cleared his throat. Jaejoong looked at the other man, and he could tell there was something he wanted to say out loud. It was something of an unusual sight, since Jaejoong was usually the one who started most of their conversations, so Jaejoong sat up a little straighter and looked at the other attentively.
“Have you been paying attention to the news lately?”
Jaejoong glanced down and traced circles absentmindedly on the wooden surface on his dining table, wondering where the conversation would go. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds before he lifted his eyes and met Yunho’s gaze. “Just as much as any other person I suppose, why?”
When Yunho didn’t say anything, Jaejoong decided to get rid of the silence and just continue to speak. “It’s a bit hard to follow…the headlines tend to be the same, news about the war…the casualties, the bombings, the losses. I don’t gravitate towards those kinds of things naturally.”
“Yet you gravitated towards me?” Yunho spoke softly, his voice questioning.
The pianist tilted his head, “You’re not…you’re different.” The water started boiling, and so he promptly stood up and moved over to the stove. He placed a tea bag into his teapot then poured in the hot water, his thoughts running a thousand miles a minute and making his hands shake slightly. Jaejoong let out a tired sigh and kept his eyes away from Yunho, unsure of what to say.
How was one supposed to explain love? He’d never even thought that it would be possible for him to be so enchanted with someone so quickly. His mind and heart raced whenever Yunho was with him, and it was impossible for him to describe the fear that was becoming so closely intertwined with his growing attraction to the other man.
“Jaejoong?”
The pianist turned around, and he shot Yunho a small smile. His hands clasped tightly at his kitchen counter, and he replied, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “Yes?”
“I may have to leave soon,” Yunho said slowly, his eyes never leaving Jaejoong’s face while he spoke. “If border conditions do not improve…they may ask for me to take up active duty on the frontlines. It’s something that’s been brought up several times, and I just thought…I just thought you should know.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and looked away. He took the teapot off the counter and poured tea for his companion, hoping that Yunho wouldn’t notice how his hands were less steady than usual. When he set the teapot back down and sat down at the table, he couldn’t think of anything to say. After all, there wasn’t much he could say in the first place. It’s not like he could tell Yunho to not leave him so that he could go off to fight in some war he hadn’t even started.
“Why did you join the military?” Jaejoong asked, his voice low. He kept his eyes on his hands and didn’t bother to meet Yunho’s gaze.
“I wanted to protect people,” Yunho answered simply as he cradled his warm mug of tea between his hands. He looked at Jaejoong, but before he could say anything, Jaejoong spoke first.
“Are you going to ask me why I haven’t enlisted?”
“No,” Yunho replied softly. “I didn’t come with you that night just so I could end up judging you later on.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and gazed at Yunho. “So…” He shut his mouth and prevented himself from speaking the question that was lingering on the tip of his tongue. He let out a sigh then stared at his hands, unsure of what to do. “This is hard,” he whispered softly.
In the confines of his apartment, they could forget everything for a bit. Jaejoong could forget the loneliness of the world around him, and Yunho could forget the tragedies that he’d experienced. If there was one thing Jaejoong wished for, it was that Yunho saw him as a thing of comfort and peace in their restless world.
He looked up at Yunho, “Don’t you ever wish that you were living in another time?” he asked.
“Constantly,” Yunho whispered before he brought his tea mug to his lips and looked away, his face overcome with thoughts that Jaejoong was not privy to.
Jaejoong kept silent and stared at his hands - his frustrations with his inability to act, to just do something, were ruining his mood. He couldn’t think of anything to say, and just as he was about to give up and leave Yunho to seek refuge in his room, the other man spoke first.
“Would you miss me, if I went to war?”
There was something searching in his tone, and Jaejoong was startled by the question. He looked at Yunho carefully for a few seconds before he replied, “Incredibly.”
Yunho stood up and bridged the distance between them to press his lips against Jaejoong’s. He pulled back with a sigh then stepped away from the table. He grabbed his coat and shrugged it on, “I have to go.”
“So soon?” Jaejoong asked, although he wasn’t quite sure that he wanted Yunho to stay. He looked at the other, and Yunho nodded. He shot Jaejoong a small smile, turned away and left the apartment.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Jaejoong let his face fall into his hands.
He didn’t know what to do anymore.
o-o-o
Things weren’t getting any better.
Jaejoong had seen it in the news headlines, and had heard it among the patrons. The war didn’t seem to be going into anyone’s favor, and things seemed to just be getting messier and messier. He didn’t bother to try to understand the complexities of all the politics that went into war, but if there was one thing he could understand, it was that people were dying every day. This war was raging on, and it blazed like a wild forest fire, vicious and insatiable in its quest to destroy.
Yunho wasn’t coming to the bar anymore, and Jaejoong had more than just a feeling that it was because of the current situation. He’d tried not to be bothered, but after the other man had not dropped by for nearly two weeks, his heart raced in his chest in fear. Surely Yunho wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to him at least?
“God, things are just getting worse.” Seunghyun muttered after he’d downed his third shot of the night. He shook his head and looked at Jaejoong, who still hadn’t touched his glass of water. “What’s wrong?”
Jaejoong looked at Seunghyun. “Where’s the Lieutenant Colonel? Is he…”
“Probably staying late at the base,” Changmin replied slowly, his body fraught with exhaustion. He raised his eyes off his drink and looked at Jaejoong, “I have something to tell you.”
“What?” Jaejoong whispered, his heart now shifting with worry for one of his only friends. He clasped his hands together tightly, “Please don’t tell me…”
“I’ve gotten my assignment. I’m heading out in two days.” Changmin said bluntly, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth. Jaejoong saw as his hands gripped his glass a little tighter, “I…I just thought you should know.”
“And you?” Jaejoong asked, turning to Seunghyun, who’d suddenly gone quiet. The pianist swallowed hard, “Are you leaving as well?”
“I’m heading out in two days as well.”
Jaejoong held back the sob that threatened to escape his lips and stared down hard at his drink. He wanted to cry out in frustration - his fear and worry reaching unbearable levels. He didn’t want them to leave, he didn’t want them to risk their lives…he didn’t want them to die. There were so many things he didn’t want, but based off the way things were going, the world seemed to be determined to ruin his life.
“Is this…”
He didn’t want to voice out the question in his mind. Jaejoong didn’t want to ask if it would be their last night together because a last night would mean an end. He didn’t want things to end. The pianist couldn’t care about the possibility of being thought of as immature. He knew that people would tell him he had such brave, strong and honorable friends - friends willing to sacrifice their lives for their country, but he didn’t care about that.
If they were killed in war, they would be lost to him forever. It would be the permanent end to their friendship, and Jaejoong couldn’t stand the thought. He swallowed hard and tried to think of something to say, but nothing would come to mind.
“It’s okay -“
“No, it’s not,” Jaejoong whispered, his voice tight with emotion. “You two are leaving and…and I…I can’t do anything about it.”
“It’s not your problem to -“
“It’s not you problem to solve either!” Jaejoong shouted, his voice loud and ringing throughout the bar. He didn’t care that people were staring at him - he was far too gone and overwhelmed by his emotions. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, “You don’t have to go!”
“Jaejoong -“
“I have to go for a bit. Please, don’t follow…I just need…I just need some time to think about everything,” the pianist whispered, the tumultuous wave of emotions he was feeling suddenly subsiding just as quickly as they had come. He wiped at his eyes and headed out the bar’s back door, determined to get out. The tension in the bar’s atmosphere was suffocating him at that moment, and he needed to escape it.
As soon as he was outside, the cold air greeted him in the form of a harsh wind. Jaejoong laughed bitterly and shook his head as he walked aimlessly to the street corner - even nature was harsh to him. He didn’t know whether to sob or not anymore, and his emotions were tiring him. Jaejoong shut his eyes and leaned against a lamp post, the metal cool against his skin. He took in deep breaths, willing away all his negative feelings and fears.
“Aren’t you cold?”
Jaejoong opened his eyes, and he straightened up when he saw Yunho standing only a few steps away from him. Before he could say a word, the man closed the distance between them and draped his coat over Jaejoong’s smaller frame. As Yunho fussed over him, Jaejoong could only watch silently.
When the other man stepped away, Jaejoong felt like crying.
“You’re leaving too, aren’t you?” he whispered, his voice unsteady. He swallowed hard and pulled Yunho’s coat closer to his frame, “Aren’t you?”
“…no, not yet,” Yunho murmured. He looked at Jaejoong in concern, “But…but your friends, they’re heading off soon…aren’t they?”
Jaejoong nodded, and he looked down, hot tears escaping the corners of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. A sob escaped his lips, and before he could say something, strong arms pulled him close. Jaejoong buried his face into Yunho’s neck, wetting the other man’s shirt with his tears.
“Please don’t leave too,” Jaejoong whispered brokenly and so softly that it was muffled by the soldier’s body. “Please don’t leave me.” He gripped onto Yunho tightly before he jerked back suddenly, well aware that they were out in public. Fear seized him suddenly, and Jaejoong looked around, hoping that no one was around.
Luckily for them, no one was out.
“You should go back to your friends,” Yunho murmured, and Jaejoong was glad that he didn’t bother to say anything about the fact he’d stepped away from the other’s comforting embrace. He gazed at Jaejoong, a sad expression on his face, “You should enjoy this night with them…”
“And what about you?” Jaejoong whispered, “Aren’t you coming to the bar?”
“No…not tonight,” the Lieutenant Colonel replied. He reached out and smoothened out Jaejoong’s hair. “I have to go back now.” He shot Jaejoong a small, forced smile in the hopes of comforting the other, “Have a good night.”
“Wait, your coat -“
“Keep it. You’re not dressed warmly enough.” Yunho murmured. “I’ll come back to get it from you sometime soon.”
Jaejoong met Yunho’s eyes, and he looked at the other with an expression filled with hopefulness that he so desperately wished he could conceal.
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Yunho said seriously before he smiled once again then promptly departed, leaving behind Jaejoong to stare after his retreating figure and wonder why Yunho had come to the bar in the first place.
o-o-o
They were gone.
He’d said his farewells earlier in the day, and now they were gone. Jaejoong choked back a sob and chose to down another drink, preferring to drown in alcohol than his tears. The people around him were chatting about anything but the departure of several bar regulars, trying to keep the mood light with conversation about fashion or music, but none of them could keep Jaejoong’s attention or supply him with the comfort he needed.
“I have to go.”
Jaejoong’s head snapped up, and he looked at the man who’d spoken, a mail carrier for the military. The woman beside him pouted at him with her ruby red lips and held onto his arm, her nails digging into his sleeve and sending him a clear message - don’t go just yet. But what was more interesting to Jaejoong was a package close to the mail carrier’s side, and which for some reason, struck Jaejoong as odd..
However, he didn’t linger much on the package and turned back to his own thoughts. He needed some reason to go, but he had to make sure he would be able to leave easily and without raising any concern from anyone.
“You can just go yet baby,” his date whined, her displeasure evident. Her frowned deepened, “Can’t that package wait until morning?”
“It’s important -“
“Who’s it for?” Jaejoong asked, and he was suddenly feeling more sober than he had been several minutes previously because of the opportunity to leave without much resistance. He took a sip of water and looked at the man in front of him with interest. “If you want, I could deliver it for you.”
“Look at that honey,” the woman said delightfully, clearly pleased with Jaejoong’s offer. She looked at her date, “Just let him go deliver it for you.”
“Is it confidential?” Jaejoong asked, “Don’t worry. I’m used to dealing with military matters. I promise it’ll make it to wherever it’s supposed to go. You can trust me.”
“Jaejoong’s trustworthy,” chimed another person at the table. “I’ve seen him return things thousands of times to drunk bar patrons. You can let him take the package Soohyun - none of us will tell, and I’m sure Jaejoong can leave it behind without being noticed by anyone.”
Jaejoong smiled, “You can trust me. It’ll be fine. If you’re so worried about it, just show me where it’s supposed to be delivered. If it’s not on the way for me, I won’t bring it for you.”
“Well, alright then.”
Soohyun handed over the package, and Jaejoong looked down at the address that was written onto the brown packaging paper. His eyes widened a bit before he cleared his throat and looked up at the mail carrier. “I can bring it.”
“Are you sure?”
Jaejoong looked down at the address again then nodded. “I’m sure.”
o-o-o
He’d never been to Yunho’s home before. In fact, until now, he hadn’t even known where Yunho lived. It’d never bothered him that much, but as he made his way to the other man’s apartment, it began to bother him greatly.
Why hadn’t Yunho ever taken him over before? Was he hiding something?
Jaejoong felt a growing sense of dread in his stomach, and he began to regret picking up the package. He swallowed hard and shook his head - Yunho wouldn’t be hiding anything from him, would he? He stopped in front of the door way and raised his hand to the door, his index finger only centimeters from the doorbell.
It was now or never.
He pressed the doorbell and waited.
It felt like the seconds passed so slowly, and just as he was about to ring the doorbell again, the doorknob jostled. Jaejoong took a step back from the door, and he watched as the door opened, revealing Yunho.
Before he could get a word out of his mouth, a young girl ran up to him and held onto his leg. She looked up at him with sad, puppy dog eyes and then spoke, ignoring Jaejoong’s presence entirely.
“Daddy! I don’t wanna go to bed!” When Yunho didn’t respond, her pout grew wider, until she noticed Jaejoong’s presence. Her eyes widened, and she proceeded to move back behind her father.
She held onto Yunho’s leg tightly and asked softly, “Daddy, who’s this?”
>
Author’s Note: *___* So long. OTL Not happy with the summary, I might change it later on. Well, I kind of had this fic in mind with World War 2 as a setting of sorts…so yeah. XD It’s not really historically accurate or anything or whatever, but I just had that setting in mind. Hahaha. ^^ This is a three-shot btw. :3 Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! ♥
Beta: atriums
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Drama
Summary: One of his rules was that he didn’t sleep with military men, but this man was different.
“What can I get you?”
The military man looked up from the table, and Jaejoong smiled. He’d seen the other man from where he was seated in front of the piano, and needless to say, his interest had been piqued.
“Nothing. I’m good,” he man replied brusquely, making it quite obvious that he really didn’t want anything. His eyes hardly even lingered upon Jaejoong’s face for more than a few seconds, and that was something the pianist was unused to.
Jaejoong licked his lips and turned his head. Yoochun was frowning at him from his place at the bar, and Jaejoong merely turned his head to ignore his best friend. The man in front of him was one of the best looking men that had stepped into the bar, and the fact that he wasn’t accepting Jaejoong’s invitation was making him even more interesting.
“Would you mind if I sit?”
The man looked up, and he shrugged. “If you wish.”
Jaejoong slid into the booth, and just as he’d gotten comfortable, the other man slid out of the booth and left the pianist to gape after him.
o-o-o
“Things aren’t letting up, huh?” Jaejoong asked as he slipped behind the bar counter to help Yoochun clean up the bar counter. He took the newspaper out of the bartender’s hands and flipped through it. “Death, war, death -“
Yoochun took the newspaper out of Jaejoong’s hands and folded it up. He set it down onto the bar counter and leaned against it. “You should be glad that no one’s coming in here and telling you to enlist.”
“I’m too pretty to enlist,” Jaejoong said with a small smile before he looked away. The bar was still empty. They’d yet to open their doors for the night, but they would in a few minutes. “Speaking of which, when are you going to hire more people for this place? We’re getting a lot more people than usual.”
“I talked to a few people in my building,” Yoochun replied as he wiped a couple of martini glasses. “I found a couple of people who’d be good for the staff. As soon as I straighten everything out, they’ll be working here next week.”
A small pout came onto Jaejoong’s face. “So it won’t be just you and I anymore?”
Yoochun shook his head and laughed, “I’m sorry, but I’m sure you know just as well as I do that we need more people around here. You better not go all first child syndrome on them. I don’t care how well and how long I’ve known you. If you’re going to be a bitch, I’m going to call you out on bad behavior.”
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose. “I never show bad behavior.”
“Yeah, sure,” Yoochun replied disbelievingly. He set the glasses back onto the rack and then turned his head to look at Jaejoong, who was absentmindedly tracing circles onto the bar counter.
He sighed then looked at Yoochun, who was studying him. “Yes?”
“I saw you hitting on that military guy last night,” Yoochun said with a disapproving frown. “Look Jaejoong, you have to know your limits. I know that some of these military guys show interest, and you like that, but you can’t just going around hitting on them…especially if they’re not interested. It’s not safe.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh. He picked up a dish rag off the table and swatted Yoochun with it. “I know my limits. Okay? I’ll be fine. He’s not going to beat me up or anything, I’m pretty sure he’s not that kind of guy. I’m a pretty good judge of character, so you’ll just have to trust my choices -“
“Jaejoong, you don’t know that guy,” Yoochun replied, his frown deepening. “I worry about you, you know? I know you have a thing for these military guys, and often, I respect that…but you have to be careful. You can’t just start forgetting that these military guys carry a lot of baggage around with them -“
The older man let out a sigh. He looked away from Yoochun and set the dish rag back onto the counter. “I get it. I won’t touch him again.” He glanced at Yoochun, “But, if he approaches me first, I’m not going to say no.”
“What makes you think he’s going to approach you?” Yoochun asked as Jaejoong left the bar counter to open up. “He looked pretty cold last night Jaejoong, I highly doubt he’s just going to walk up to you tonight.”
Jaejoong turned around, “Just you wait! I’ll show you.” He walked up to the door, and as soon as he’d opened them, he was greeted by a crowd of military men who were waiting outside. He shot them all a genuine smile, and they greeted him before they pushed past him and went inside. He didn’t bother to follow them inside and looked around the street, wondering if the man from earlier was showing up. He waited for a minute or so, but after deciding that he wasn’t coming, Jaejoong headed back inside.
Stretching his fingers out, Jaejoong began to make his way to the piano. To be honest, he was fairly sure that most of the bar’s patrons didn’t actually care that much about his piano playing. They came to the bar to relax because it was a place where they could forget about the visions of war, the demands of their superiors, and the harsh realities that they would face in the morning. Jaejoong figured that his piano playing was his own kind of civil service.
He played a simple piece - he’d forgotten the title, but it was one that he’d first picked up from his piano tutor a long time ago. His fingers moved nimbly across the ebony and ivory keys, and for a few minutes, Jaejoong lost himself in the music. This was what he enjoyed in life. It was almost as natural to him as breathing.
As soon as he’d finished, there were polite claps that resounded around the room. He turned his head to acknowledge his audience and shot them all a small smile. There were more people in the audience which was now composed of a more equal amount of men and women. His eyes scanned the patrons, but as his gaze swept across the room, his eyes landed upon someone sitting on his own.
It was the same man from the night before.
A small smile came upon Jaejoong’s lips, and he felt a pair of eyes on him. He turned his gaze away from the man, and he caught sight of Yoochun, he was glowering at him with an obvious look of disapproval. Jaejoong waved at him, laughed, and then turned back to piano.
It was time to play something nice and happy.
o-o-o
Over the next few days, Jaejoong determined his next course of action. It hadn’t been a smart idea for him to approach the other man in such a bold fashion. If there was one thing he knew about the quiet types, it was that the best method was for them to open up first. They couldn’t be pushed, forced or prodded into talking, or else that would make them shut themselves off further.
So, Jaejoong decided that the first thing he had to do was find out more about the other. By finding out what the other was like, he was sure that he’d find some way to find himself all the more alluring and worthy of the mysterious military man’s attentions.
“Why’s that other guy always alone?”
Seunghyun looked up from his scotch and raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
Jaejoong gestured subtly to his mystery man, who was still nursing his vodka by himself, with his thumb. The Second Lieutenant glanced in that direction then chuckled. He raised his glass to his lips, took a sip of his drink, and then asked, “Why, what’s he to you?”
“Am I not allowed to ask questions anymore?” Jaejoong said with a pout.
The younger man shook his head in amusement. “Well, your questions always tend to lead somewhere. Your questions are never just questions.” He traced the rim of his glass then looked at Jaejoong. “Lieutenant Colonel Jung Yunho.”
“Interesting.” Jaejoong said, trying to sound dismissive of the information. It was a difficult task for him to not look back at the table where the other was seated, but he forced himself to keep his attention away from the other. He cleared his throat and leaned forward, “So -“
“I knew you had something else to say.”
The older man scowled. “Shush.”
“You have to buy me another drink,” Seunghyun said as he leaned back into his booth. He smirked at Jaejoong, “I’m not giving this information away for free.” He took a cigarette out of the pack that was on the table and lit it. “It’s either you get me another glass, or I’m going home.”
Before Jaejoong could protest, another person slid into the booth next to Seunghyun. The other Second Lieutenant glanced between them and drummed his fingers onto the table. “So, what were you two talking about?”
“He’s asking about Lieutenant Colonel Jung Yunho,” Seunhyun replied as he scooted over so that Changmin would have more room. Before Jaejoong could cut in, he continued speaking, “And I was just telling the lovely pianist over here that I’d like a free drink before I divulged any more information.”
“A good course of action,” Changmin grinned and leaned back into his seat. “I know things about the Lieutenant Colonel too, so I’d like a drink as well.”
The pianist’s mouth fell open in shock. He quickly turned to glare at the two, “Hey, I have to support myself you know. There are groceries that need to be bought, and my rent that I have to pay for. I can’t keep buying drinks for you two the whole night.”
The two military men shared a look then turned their eyes back to Jaejoong.
“Just one drink each then,” Changmin suggested. “I’ll have my usual.”
Seunghyun raised his glass, “And I’ll have another of this.”
Jaejoong’s eyes darted between the two soldiers, and after he was sure that they weren’t just joking with him, he scowled. He stared disapprovingly at both of them then slid out of the booth. He placed a hand on the table and then used his other hand to point at the two soldiers.
“If neither of you end up sharing anything interesting, I will strangle you both. I don’t care if you two have fancy military training. I will be fuelled by intense rage and poverty, so don’t think that I’m incapable of killing you both.”
He narrowed his eyes to further his point and pointed at the two. “Got it?”
The soldiers laughed and saluted him mockingly. “Sir yes sir.”
o-o-o
As soon as he’d gotten the drinks, Jaejoong placed them down onto the table and slid back into the booth. He crossed his arms and glowered at the two, “So, it’s time for you to talk. What do you both know about him?”
Seunghyun took a sip of his new drink and then looked at Changmin. “Did you train under him? I’ve only been with him a couple of times, but nothing too long for me to gain that much of a sure opinion of his character.”
“Yeah, I trained under him for around six months when I first enlisted,” Changmin replied. “He’s -“
Jaejoong cleared his throat, catching the two’s attention. He shot them both an annoyed look and pointed at himself, “You both were kind of supposed to be talking to me. After all, I’m the kind person that paid for those drinks that you two are currently enjoying at the moment.”
Changmin looked at Jaejoong with a bored expression on his face. “Why aren’t you playing the piano? Don’t you have a job to do?” He looked around the bar then turned to gesture to the currently abandoned piano, “I like it better when you play the piano.”
“Hey, I paid for your fucking drink,” Jaejoong hissed. “Give me what I want.”
Seunghyun chuckled, “Well, I heard he’s a nice guy. He’s a pretty decent man from what I’ve heard. His sister’s pretty hot -“
“Yeah, she is. Have you seen her legs? Sometimes I wish that the Colonel Lieutenant lived on base, that way -“
Jaejoong’s frown deepened. “You two can’t be serious right now.” He narrowed his eyes and glared at the two. “I don’t want to hear about Jung Yunho’s sister. I want to hear more about Jung Yunho. Please, stop annoying me with all your side conversations and get to the -“
“You’re so pushy, but fine.” Changmin took a sip of his drink then scowled at Seunghyun, who’d blown a cloud of smoke into his face. He relaxed into his seat and stared at Jaejoong, “What do you want to know exactly?”
“Why is he so quiet?” Jaejoong asked as he leaned forward. He made sure to keep his voice low, “And why isn’t he ever with anyone? I mean…he’s an attractive man, and I’m sure women wouldn’t hesitate to keep him company.”
A hesitant look crossed Changmin’s face, and he glanced at Seunghyun before he turned his eyes back to Jaejoong. He leaned closer and lowered his voice, making sure no one would be able to overhear, “You can’t breathe a word about this. I’m pretty sure it’s rude to talk about people’s personal lives like this. If you mention this to the Lieutenant Colonel ever, I’m sure we’re going to get killed - so shut up.”
Jaejoong frowned at the wording of Changmin’s request but replied politely, “Yeah, of course.”
Changmin sighed, “Well, I heard his wife left him, and he hasn’t been the same since.” He held his drink and glanced at Seunghyun, who was nodding his head. “A year or so after they got married, I heard she ran off on him. She was one of those beauty queen types from what I remember of her. I remember seeing her around base when I was still in training, and she was definitely a stunning sight to look at.”
“I heard she married some rich older man not soon after she left the Lieutenant Colonel.” Seunghyun added, “Yunho doesn’t really have anyone right now...though, I hear his sister lives with him.”
Jaejoong frowned deeply then looked up at the two. “When did his wife leave him?”
“Almost two years ago?” Changmin recalled as he rested his chin against the palm of his hand. He looked at Seunghyun for affirmation, and the latter nodded in agreement. “I think it’ll be two years soon. She left around Christmas time…”
“I suggest you just stay away from him,” Seunghyun said as he lifted his glass up to his lips and crushed the butt of his cigarette into the ash tray. He looked up at Jaejoong and held the other’s gaze, “Military men like ourselves have enough mental baggage. Imagine how much worse his whole situation is.”
“Yeah, don’t bother Jaejoong,” Changmin added as he moved off the table and leaned back into his seat. “Besides, you need someone…I don’t know, someone without any baggage to bring into a relationship. Someone nice, stable, and attentive would be good for you. Don’t go looking around for troubled types.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh and reached for Seunghyun’s pack of cigarettes. He took one and grabbed his lighter from his pocket. He could feel the two men in front of him watching carefully as he then proceeded to take a drag from the cigarette.
“Don’t you think he’s interesting?” Jaejoong asked after he’d exhaled a cloud of smoke. Something was nagging him at the back of his head. It was like he could feel someone staring at him, but he was too nervous to look back and find out who it was.
Changmin rolled his eyes. “No, I think he’s troubled.” He shook his head at Jaejoong disapprovingly and his frown deepened, “I’m telling you Jaejoong, don’t try to start something with him. You’ll only get hurt.”
“Maybe I’m a masochist.” Jaejoong teased, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. He turned his head back, and his breath caught in his throat when he met a pair of dark eyes staring back at him.
It was like the other man was staring into his soul, and it was incredibly unsettling, but at the same time, absolutely magnetizing. Jaejoong watched as the man took a last sip of his drink, left money on the table, and then turned away. His eyes lingered upon the other’s back, and he gazed longingly as the Lieutenant Colonel walked out of the bar and escaped back out onto the dark city streets.
When he turned back, Changmin and Seunghyun were looking at him with equally confused expressions.
Jaejoong opened his mouth in an attempt to explain, but he could come up with nothing and shut his mouth slowly. He stared at his hands, trying to think of a reason behind the rapid beating of his heart, but once again, he came up short. He shook his head, let out a sigh and reached for Changmin’s glass.
He downed the rest of amber liquid in the glass, but it did nothing to satisfy the curiosity and desire that was coursing in his blood.
o-o-o
The new people were already in the bar, and while Jaejoong was fine with them, he felt odd. It was weird to not be the only person around Yoochun anymore, and it was weird to have to stick by the piano for most of the evening now. While yes, it was his original job to play the piano, he’d liked going around the patrons and socializing with them. Now however, with the waiters and waitresses already doing the socializing, he was stuck by his piano.
Jaejoong exhaled deeply and took another drag of his cigarette. He was just being jealous and petty, and he was sure of that. He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the brick wall behind him, trying to relax. It was only natural to be jealous he presumed - after all, Yoochun was the most important person in his life at the moment. Yoochun was the one who’d given him a home away from home and was practically an extension of himself.
“It’ll go away,” Jaejoong whispered to himself before he took another drag. He opened his eyes and watched as the smoke he exhaled escaped out into the cold night air, the faint wisps eventually disappearing into the darkness.
He licked his chapped lips and just as he was about to throw his cigarette onto the ground and stomp it out, he noticed someone walking alone on the streets. Jaejoong stepped out from the alleyway and saw the Lieutenant Colonel about to cross the street. He leaned against the wall and formed his lips into a pout as he waited for the other man to notice him.
When he was a few steps away and already only a couple of steps from the bar’s main door, the soldier paused, and Jaejoong took that as his opportunity to say something.
“Another table for one?” he drawled, trying to keep his voice low and seductive. He held the other man’s gaze and maintained his relaxed posture, “If you need someone, I’m here you know.”
The soldier studied Jaejoong for a few seconds before he turned away from his original direction and walked over to Jaejoong. His eyes raked over Jaejoong’s body, and it sent shivers down the pianist’s spine. “For how long?”
“As long as you want,” Jaejoong whispered, his body practically itching to touch the other man. He’d never felt such a strong attraction to someone else before, and his body felt as if it was being magnetized. All he wanted to do was close the distance between their bodies and feel the other man’s solid frame against his.
He licked his lips, and Jaejoong felt even more of a thrill when the other man’s eyes temporarily flicked downwards to watch the action. To be honest, he didn’t care if he was moving fast. All he wanted was something to fulfill the urges that he so desperately needed to satisfy, and he was further encouraged by the fact that the other man seemed attracted to him as well.
As much as he liked flirting with men, he knew better than to simply invite anyone over to his apartment. He was a good judge of character, and because of that, it’d been months since he’d last found someone to bring home. One of his rules was that he didn’t sleep with military men, but this man was different. He could simply tell. The desire that consumed him wasn’t so one-sided, he was sure of it.
There was such a strong feeling of sexual tension in the air, and Jaejoong didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Although the other man hadn’t even touched him, he could feel the stirrings of arousal whenever the other raked his eyes over his body. It was taking more than generous amounts of willpower for him to hold back from cupping the other’s face and sealing the distance between their lips.
“How far is your place?” The man questioned, and a smirk immediately made its way across Jaejoong’s lips.
“Not far. I’ll show you the way,” Jaejoong drawled before he ran his tongue over his lower lip, brushed past the other man and began to walk in the direction of his apartment building.
o-o-o
Jaejoong flicked on the lights of his apartment, and he turned around to smile devilishly at his guest. He shrugged his coat off then tossed it onto a chair. Although he already knew the other man’s name, he figured it would still be appropriate to ask.
“What did you say your name was?”
“Yunho.”
The pianist walked over to the soldier slowly and stopped as soon as he was in front of him. He looked up at the other and hooked his arms around the other’s neck, his fingers toying with the strands of the other’s hair. “Have you ever slept with a man before Yunho?”
The military man’s hands settled at the other’s waist, and when a hand reached down to cup at Jaejoong’s ass, the pianist’s eyes widened significantly.
He hadn’t been expecting that at all.
“No,” Yunho murmured as he leaned down, his breath ghosting against Jaejoong’s face. His cheek brushed against Jaejoong’s as he moved forward to kiss behind Jaejoong’s ear, “But that won’t be a problem, will it?” Teeth grazed against Jaejoong’s earlobe, and the pianist let out a low moan.
“I suppose I’ll have to teach you a few things,” Jaejoong whispered as he began to slowly grind his hips against Yunho’s. “But we’ll have to go my bedroom before I can show you -“
Jaejoong was backed up against the wall, and his head hit it with a thud. A feeling of fear clenched his heart momentarily, but it slipped away as soon as the other man captured his lips. The other man urged for him to open his lips, and Jaejoong complied, letting out a muffled moan as soon as Yunho’s tongue wrapped around his. He could hardly breathe as Yunho’s tongue explored his mouth, and his mind was hazy with pleasure.
When Yunho pulled away, Jaejoong stared back at him.
A smirk crossed the military man’s lips before he began to work at the buttons of Jaejoong’s shirt. Feeling incredibly thrown off, Jaejoong was determined to get back the control he’d lost. He pushed Yunho’s hands away from his chest then fell to his knees before he promptly began to work at the buckle of Yunho’s belt. With surprising swiftness and skillfulness, Jaejoong managed to undo the belt and pull down Yunho’s boxers and pants to his knees.
He looked up at Yunho. “Lesson one,” he breathed out before he leaned forward to take the tip of Yunho’s cock into his mouth. The groan that escaped the military man’s mouth delighted Jaejoong and encouraged him to open his mouth a little wider to adjust to Yunho’s size. He gripped Yunho’s thighs and pulled him closer before he began to bob up and down, his nose brushing against the other man’s pubic hair, and his mouth sucking the other man’s cock teasingly.
Jaejoong felt Yunho’s hands grasp his hair, trying to push his cock back into the other’s mouth. The other man’s hands tugged at Jaejoong’s hair while he sucked, and Jaejoong was glad that it seemed like Yunho was controlling himself from bucking into his mouth because it made things easier for him.
“Fuck,” Yunho hissed as Jaejoong pulled away, his lips glistening with pre-cum and saliva. The pianist grinned and pressed a kiss to the base of the other man’s cock before he got off his knees and drew himself back up to his full height.
“Did you like that sweetheart?” Jaejoong drawled teasingly before he leaned forward to tug at Yunho’s earlobe with his teeth. “Let’s go to my bedroom?”
“Why don’t we just do it here?” Yunho questioned as his hands pushed Jaejoong’s shirt off his shoulders. He tossed it aside onto the floor and stepped out of his boxers and pants. Before Jaejoong could say anything, Yunho pushed him back up against the wall.
“What do you say?”
Jaejoong could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and he stared at Yunho with a shocked expression. “I…I thought you’ve never slept with a man before,” he whispered as he felt strong arms grip his waist. “You’re so bold.”
“There’s just…”
“I like it,” Jaejoong murmured teasingly before he pushed Yunho away and began to head for his room. He turned around and bit at his lip, “But I don’t want to have sex with you in my kitchen.”
As soon as he was inside his bedroom, Jaejoong stripped out of the rest of his clothes quickly and tossed them aside before he headed over to his bedside table. He opened the drawer, found a condom and bottle of oil then turned around with them in hand. He paused when he saw Yunho standing near the bed, as equally undressed as he was.
Jaejoong blushed at the sight of the other man than looked away. For some reason, he could feel oddly nervous about the whole thing. He tossed the condom and bottle onto the bed then walked over to Yunho. He set one hand on the other’s waist and used the other to cup his face.
“Any regrets?” he whispered, “You can still back out now.”
“Why do I get this feeling that you’re the one that wants to back out?” Yunho murmured as he pushed Jaejoong onto the bed then climbed over him. He met Jaejoong’s eyes in the darkness, “Look at you, not so seductive anymore…”
Jaejoong chuckled and bucked his hips up, his erection brushing against Yunho’s. He grinned and hooked his arms around Yunho’s neck, “But what about you? Straight laced military man going out with another man?” His fingers toyed idly with Yunho’s hair and he bucked his hips upward again, “Imagine if anyone found out…”
“I don’t kiss and tell,” Yunho murmured as he kissed Jaejoong’s neck. He nuzzled the pale skin, and Jaejoong shivered underneath him. “Every once in a while, a man has to break his own rules.”
“And I was worth that?” Jaejoong whispered.
“We’ll have to see about that.” Yunho replied, but before Jaejoong could mutter a reply, the other man kissed him, and no other words were spoken.
o-o-o
Jaejoong woke up to the sound of rustling fabric. He opened his eyes slightly, and he was unsurprised to see Yunho getting dressed. He watched the flexing of the other’s back muscles silently, not saying anything to alert the other that he was awake. Yunho stretched his body out, easing away the lingering effects of sleep from his muscles, before reaching down to pick up his shirt which had been carelessly tossed aside the previous evening. Jaejoong watched him silently, and it was only when Yunho was almost completely dressed that he turned around to find Jaejoong staring at him.
“Not going to bother with a goodbye?” Jaejoong questioned, his voice not really showing any emotion. He was still too lazy to untangle himself from his sheets, so he simply hugged his pillow closer and watched Yunho with curious eyes.
Yunho looked at him and then finished buttoning his shirt. “Do you want something from me?” he asked, not looking at Jaejoong. He looked over his clothes and then finally looked at Jaejoong.
“To be honest, I don’t know.” The other man replied as he pulled the bed sheets closer to hide his naked body from the other’s eyes. “Are you lonely?”
“Are you?”
Jaejoong laughed softly and curled up into himself. He licked his lips and adjusted the way his head rested against his pillow before he eventually decided to prop up his elbow and rest his head against the palm of his hand. The soldier was still looking at him, and Jaejoong was surprised about it. To be honest, he hadn’t expected the other to stick around for so long.
“I don’t know.” Jaejoong replied honestly with a weak laugh. His lips formed a small smile. “Maybe…no? Or…” he laughed again, “I think it’s a yes. What about you? Are you feeling lonely in this big, harsh city?”
He sat up and looked at Yunho. “I don’t need much from you, honestly. Look, I can tell that you’re a military guy, so I don’t need you to bring me out on dates or whatever, but I don’t want you to treat me like I’m so fuck toy -“
“What do you think I want from you?”
Jaejoong ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “More than sex? I honestly don’t know at all.” He shot a nervous smile at Yunho, “Oh God, are you going to beat me up now? You’re actually a homophobe, aren’t you? If you are, please don’t hit my face. It’s the most important part of my body -“
“I’m not going to hit you.” Yunho replied, his eyes still observing Jaejoong carefully.
The pianist laughed, genuine laughter escaping his lips. “Okay, I think I know what you want.” Jaejoong brought his knees close to his chest and settled his chin between them, the bed sheets still covering his body. “You need a friend.”
“A friend,” Yunho repeated slowly, a skeptical look on his face. “You think…that I need a friend.”
“Yes?”
“I’ll think about it,” Yunho replied before he turned away and began to make his way out of the bedroom. Jaejoong watched the other man go, and as soon as he heard his front door shut, he laughed and buried his face into his knees.
“I’m fucking crazy.”
o-o-o
After Yunho didn’t show up at the bar for several nights in a row, Jaejoong was sure that he wasn’t coming back. He played the piano, dealt kindly with the patrons, and helped whenever Yoochun needed him to. Yunho’s absence was unsettling, and on the fifth night that he didn’t show up, Jaejoong gave in.
He forcibly pried Seunghyun and Changmin away from their dates and brought them over to another booth. Jaejoong bought them both drinks in advance and pushed the glasses in front of the two soldiers. The two confused soldiers glanced at each other, and before they could say a word, Jaejoong spoke first.
“What happened to Yunho?”
Changmin replied, “I don’t know. Why?” He looked around, “Oh. He’s not here tonight.” His eyes turned back to Jaejoong, “Is that why you’re bothered? Because your crush isn’t -“
“He hasn’t been here for the past five nights,” Jaejoong replied, trying to hold himself back from blurting out that he and the Lieutenant Colonel had slept together. He clasped his hands together and steeled back his nerves. “Did something happen to him?”
Seunghyun shrugged and tapped the end of his cigarette onto the ash tray. “Nothing’s happened to him as far as I know, but I haven’t seen him around base either. I usually see him once or twice.”
“Did he go back to the frontlines or something?”
“No,” Changmin replied as he observed Jaejoong carefully. He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. “Did something happen between the two of you?”
Jaejoong stiffened, and when he saw Changmin’s eyes narrow further, he could feel his palms sweat in nervousness. “What are you talking about? Nothing -“
A man cleared his throat, and all three men turned their heads in the direction of the sound. Yoochun frowned at Jaejoong and pointed at the piano, “As much as I appreciate you going around and being friendly, you have a job to do, don’t you?”
Jaejoong smiled in relief at his best friend, extremely glad that he could escape Changmin’s interrogation. “You’re right. I should go back.” He stood up and looked at the two soldiers in front of him. “We can finish this conversation another day.”
Before anyone could say another word, Jaejoong slipped out of the booth and began to make his way to the piano. He sat down and let out a sigh. He massaged his brow and then placed his fingers onto the keys. He tried to think of something to play, but nothing could come to mind.
He sat in front of the piano for a bit longer but a nagging feeling returned, once again, that someone was watching him. Jaejoong lifted his eyes of the ebony and ivory keys, then turned his head to look at the audience. All of the patrons were busy with their own tiny worlds, and Jaejoong’s eyes swept past the familiar faces until they landed on one memorable face.
The soldier lifted his glass up slightly in acknowledgement, and Jaejoong turned away without responding. He’d pretend to be cold for now, and then later, he would get the explanation he deserved.
o-o-o
The bar was mostly cleared out by now with only a few people lingering behind to exchange whispers and try luring in someone for the night. Jaejoong left the piano with ease and walked up the table where Yunho was seated. He slipped in easily into the seat across the other man but kept a respectful distance from him.
“Where have you been?” Jaejoong asked, trying to keep his curiosity of his voice and trying to go for a tone that was between indifferent and suave. He held the other’s gaze then cocked his head. “Afraid of me?”
“Not quite,” Yunho replied as he raised his glass to his lips. Jaejoong watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and he licked his lips in response before he tore his eyes away from the other’s neck and met his eyes once more.
“What then?” the pianist questioned, now unable to hide the curiosity and slight irritation that he was feeling. “Are you really that unwilling to have me as a friend?” He pouted playfully, “Just ask Yoochun, I’m a nice friend to have.”
“Something came up,” Yunho said before he stood up.
Jaejoong watched him and narrowed his eyebrows slightly, “Where are you going?” he asked.
“The bar’s closing up,” Yunho replied as he gestured around to the near empty bar around them. “We could either leave this to tomorrow night, or we could continue this elsewhere.”
Jaejoong slid out of the booth, “I’ll take the second option, but let me grab something first. I’ll meet you outside.” He turned away from the soldier and made his way to the bar in order to get his paycheck from Yoochun. He sidled up to the bar counter, but before he could open his mouth, the other man spoke first.
“I told you not to get involved with him Jaejoong.” Yoochun muttered as he leaned in close. He placed the glass he’d been holding onto the table and gestured for Jaejoong to come in closer. “What’s wrong with you? Do you want to get hurt in some kind of form?”
Jaejoong frowned slightly. “Nothing’s going on.” He glanced around to make sure no one was nearby and continued, “We’re just friends, okay? I met him outside once when I was out smoking, and he was nice enough. Nothing serious is going to be happening between the two of us, okay?”
Yoochun looked doubtful but gave up and settled for merely sighing at Jaejoong’s recklessness. “Anyway, what do you want?” he picked up the glass he’d been holding and looked at Jaejoong. “I saw you were about to leave with him. What’s preventing you from doing so?”
“I need my salary,” Jaejoong said, plastering a smile onto his face.
The younger man scowled, “I figured.” He shook his head disapprovingly and turned around, “Hold on, I’ll just get the money from my office.” Jaejoong drummed his fingers onto the counter, and when Yoochun came out, he set the bills down in front of Jaejoong’s hand.
“Don’t spend everything tonight.”
“I won’t,” Jaejoong replied with a brighter smile. “Goodnight honey,” he teased before he turned around and made his way out the bar door.
The cold air greeted him as soon as he’d pushed the door open, and he looked around, searching for Yunho. He spotted the man a few steps away, and he tapped his shoulder.
“Let’s get going. We can talk in my apartment.”
“We’re not going to do much talking, are we?”
Jaejoong chuckled and winked. “We can talk later.”
o-o-o
He felt Yunho’s arm graze against his waist, and Jaejoong woke up to turn around. The other man was staring up at the ceiling, and he glanced as soon as he noticed that Jaejoong was looking at him. Jaejoong said nothing and placed his hand over Yunho’s chest, his index finger tracing circles on the other’s tanned skin.
It was almost a month to the day that they’d started sleeping with one another, and Jaejoong couldn’t say he was feeling much regret at all. Yunho didn’t talk much, but he supposed he did enough talking for the both of them. In fact, Jaejoong wasn’t sure if there was anything about him that Yunho didn’t know. He lacked a mouth filter, and seeing as he and Yunho had ended up drinking together several times, Jaejoong was quite sure that he’d spilled about everything he had to say about himself and anything else.
But in one month’s time, he still didn’t know that much about Yunho. The other kept up his walls and kept him away with his secrecy, making it difficult for Jaejoong to progress any further in solving the pieces of the puzzle that was Jung Yunho.
Jaejoong sighed softly and lifted his eyes off Yunho’s chest to gaze at his handsome face. “Are you scared?” he asked, pausing the actions he’d been doing absentmindedly with his hand. He set his hand down flat against Yunho’s chest and could faintly feel a heart beating underneath his palm. The steady drumming of the other man’s heartbeat somehow made him feel like they were closer than they really were.
“Of?” Yunho asked faintly, his eyes still focused on Jaejoong’s ceiling as if it held all the answers to Jaejoong’s numerous questions.
The pianist chuckled softly, his breath ghosting against Yunho’s skin. He nuzzled closer to Yunho’s shoulder and appreciated that the other man didn’t move away. He let out a small sigh and then spoke. “There are so many things for you to be scared of, especially considering what you are in life…war, death, loneliness. There could even be more mundane things, such as thunder or insects. The list goes on and on. Are you really not afraid of anything?”
“I try not to let fear take over my life,” the soldier replied before he turned his eyes to look at Jaejoong. “I don’t muse over what makes me afraid and nor do I dwell upon it, I’d rather go out and get rid of whatever it is. If I can’t get rid of it, then I’d try to get rid of my fear of it instead.”
An amused smile crossed Jaejoong’s face, “Look at you, so brave and mighty. No wonder you’re a soldier. I bet all your enemies go running for cover as soon as you arrive.”
“What about you then?” Yunho asked. “What are you afraid of?”
Jaejoong thought for a moment before he looked up at Yunho. “I’m afraid of cages.” He murmured as he slowly clung to Yunho a little tighter. “I don’t like being restricted or forced down. I want to be the way I am, whenever I want, and with whomever I want...”
“Have you always been this way?”
For a few seconds, Jaejoong froze, his mind immediately jumping to the worst meaning behind the question. Was Yunho talking about his sexuality? Disgust filled Jaejoong as he considered that Yunho was actually questioning his preferences. Just as he was about to consider escaping his own apartment, an arm snuck underneath his body and pulled him closer.
“Do you trust people this easily? Do you always reveal yourself to them so quickly and so earnestly?” Yunho continued, his low voice sending shivers up Jaejoong’s spine as he pressed a gentle kiss behind Jaejoong’s ear. “You’re going to get hurt a lot in life if you keep this up.”
Jaejoong thought of what Changmin and Seunghyun had told him, about how Yunho’s wife had left him for someone else. Had Yunho been like him once? Had he given his all to a woman that had only crushed his delicate heart? The thought made Jaejoong’s heart clench more painfully than it had a month ago, and he turned his head just as Yunho tried to kiss his cheek, resulting in a misplaced kiss to his lips instead.
They stared at each other for a few seconds, secretive gazes in the dark - searching and deciphering as much as they could with what the other was giving.
“Are you going to hurt me?” Jaejoong asked his voice small and barely above a whisper. He didn’t even know why he’d asked the question, but it was something that’d been lingering in the back of his mind as soon as Yunho had uttered his last words.
Yunho stared at him seriously and then reached his hand over to cup Jaejoong’s face with his callused hand. “I don’t tell lies, and I don’t make promises that I can’t keep,” he murmured, his breath tickling against the skin of Jaejoong’s face. His eyes searched Jaejoong’s for a few seconds before he spoke. “I hope that answer is enough for you.”
“Is that a yes?” The pianist questioned.
“I guess,” Yunho replied, his thumb running along Jaejoong’s cheekbone. “But everyone gets hurt by other people, right? Even the ones they care about?” he whispered. “It’s all just a matter of whether or not the same people that hurt you will make everything better.”
Yunho kissed Jaejoong, and Jaejoong felt himself melt against the other’s touch. Their lips melded together perfectly, and despite the perfection of the moment, Jaejoong could feel a gnawing sense of fear begin to grow at the back of his mind.
He was falling, and falling hard.
o-o-o
“Just coffee tonight?” Jaejoong asked as he flicked on the lights to his apartment. He turned around took off his coat before Yunho pulled at the fabric and took it out of his hands for him. The gesture was sweet, and Jaejoong felt his cheeks redden slightly before he commented on it, “Thank you.”
“Tea will be fine,” Yunho replied as he sat down at Jaejoong’s dining table. He placed his hands on the table surface and clasped them together, “Anything warm.”
“Alright then,” Jaejoong replied as he took his teapot out of a cupboard. He placed water in it and then set it on the stove to boil before he made his way over to the table and sat down across Yunho. He stared at the other man, his eyes marveling at the sight of his well-defined jaw and handsome features.
They sat in silence until Yunho cleared his throat. Jaejoong looked at the other man, and he could tell there was something he wanted to say out loud. It was something of an unusual sight, since Jaejoong was usually the one who started most of their conversations, so Jaejoong sat up a little straighter and looked at the other attentively.
“Have you been paying attention to the news lately?”
Jaejoong glanced down and traced circles absentmindedly on the wooden surface on his dining table, wondering where the conversation would go. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds before he lifted his eyes and met Yunho’s gaze. “Just as much as any other person I suppose, why?”
When Yunho didn’t say anything, Jaejoong decided to get rid of the silence and just continue to speak. “It’s a bit hard to follow…the headlines tend to be the same, news about the war…the casualties, the bombings, the losses. I don’t gravitate towards those kinds of things naturally.”
“Yet you gravitated towards me?” Yunho spoke softly, his voice questioning.
The pianist tilted his head, “You’re not…you’re different.” The water started boiling, and so he promptly stood up and moved over to the stove. He placed a tea bag into his teapot then poured in the hot water, his thoughts running a thousand miles a minute and making his hands shake slightly. Jaejoong let out a tired sigh and kept his eyes away from Yunho, unsure of what to say.
How was one supposed to explain love? He’d never even thought that it would be possible for him to be so enchanted with someone so quickly. His mind and heart raced whenever Yunho was with him, and it was impossible for him to describe the fear that was becoming so closely intertwined with his growing attraction to the other man.
“Jaejoong?”
The pianist turned around, and he shot Yunho a small smile. His hands clasped tightly at his kitchen counter, and he replied, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “Yes?”
“I may have to leave soon,” Yunho said slowly, his eyes never leaving Jaejoong’s face while he spoke. “If border conditions do not improve…they may ask for me to take up active duty on the frontlines. It’s something that’s been brought up several times, and I just thought…I just thought you should know.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and looked away. He took the teapot off the counter and poured tea for his companion, hoping that Yunho wouldn’t notice how his hands were less steady than usual. When he set the teapot back down and sat down at the table, he couldn’t think of anything to say. After all, there wasn’t much he could say in the first place. It’s not like he could tell Yunho to not leave him so that he could go off to fight in some war he hadn’t even started.
“Why did you join the military?” Jaejoong asked, his voice low. He kept his eyes on his hands and didn’t bother to meet Yunho’s gaze.
“I wanted to protect people,” Yunho answered simply as he cradled his warm mug of tea between his hands. He looked at Jaejoong, but before he could say anything, Jaejoong spoke first.
“Are you going to ask me why I haven’t enlisted?”
“No,” Yunho replied softly. “I didn’t come with you that night just so I could end up judging you later on.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and gazed at Yunho. “So…” He shut his mouth and prevented himself from speaking the question that was lingering on the tip of his tongue. He let out a sigh then stared at his hands, unsure of what to do. “This is hard,” he whispered softly.
In the confines of his apartment, they could forget everything for a bit. Jaejoong could forget the loneliness of the world around him, and Yunho could forget the tragedies that he’d experienced. If there was one thing Jaejoong wished for, it was that Yunho saw him as a thing of comfort and peace in their restless world.
He looked up at Yunho, “Don’t you ever wish that you were living in another time?” he asked.
“Constantly,” Yunho whispered before he brought his tea mug to his lips and looked away, his face overcome with thoughts that Jaejoong was not privy to.
Jaejoong kept silent and stared at his hands - his frustrations with his inability to act, to just do something, were ruining his mood. He couldn’t think of anything to say, and just as he was about to give up and leave Yunho to seek refuge in his room, the other man spoke first.
“Would you miss me, if I went to war?”
There was something searching in his tone, and Jaejoong was startled by the question. He looked at Yunho carefully for a few seconds before he replied, “Incredibly.”
Yunho stood up and bridged the distance between them to press his lips against Jaejoong’s. He pulled back with a sigh then stepped away from the table. He grabbed his coat and shrugged it on, “I have to go.”
“So soon?” Jaejoong asked, although he wasn’t quite sure that he wanted Yunho to stay. He looked at the other, and Yunho nodded. He shot Jaejoong a small smile, turned away and left the apartment.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Jaejoong let his face fall into his hands.
He didn’t know what to do anymore.
o-o-o
Things weren’t getting any better.
Jaejoong had seen it in the news headlines, and had heard it among the patrons. The war didn’t seem to be going into anyone’s favor, and things seemed to just be getting messier and messier. He didn’t bother to try to understand the complexities of all the politics that went into war, but if there was one thing he could understand, it was that people were dying every day. This war was raging on, and it blazed like a wild forest fire, vicious and insatiable in its quest to destroy.
Yunho wasn’t coming to the bar anymore, and Jaejoong had more than just a feeling that it was because of the current situation. He’d tried not to be bothered, but after the other man had not dropped by for nearly two weeks, his heart raced in his chest in fear. Surely Yunho wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to him at least?
“God, things are just getting worse.” Seunghyun muttered after he’d downed his third shot of the night. He shook his head and looked at Jaejoong, who still hadn’t touched his glass of water. “What’s wrong?”
Jaejoong looked at Seunghyun. “Where’s the Lieutenant Colonel? Is he…”
“Probably staying late at the base,” Changmin replied slowly, his body fraught with exhaustion. He raised his eyes off his drink and looked at Jaejoong, “I have something to tell you.”
“What?” Jaejoong whispered, his heart now shifting with worry for one of his only friends. He clasped his hands together tightly, “Please don’t tell me…”
“I’ve gotten my assignment. I’m heading out in two days.” Changmin said bluntly, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth. Jaejoong saw as his hands gripped his glass a little tighter, “I…I just thought you should know.”
“And you?” Jaejoong asked, turning to Seunghyun, who’d suddenly gone quiet. The pianist swallowed hard, “Are you leaving as well?”
“I’m heading out in two days as well.”
Jaejoong held back the sob that threatened to escape his lips and stared down hard at his drink. He wanted to cry out in frustration - his fear and worry reaching unbearable levels. He didn’t want them to leave, he didn’t want them to risk their lives…he didn’t want them to die. There were so many things he didn’t want, but based off the way things were going, the world seemed to be determined to ruin his life.
“Is this…”
He didn’t want to voice out the question in his mind. Jaejoong didn’t want to ask if it would be their last night together because a last night would mean an end. He didn’t want things to end. The pianist couldn’t care about the possibility of being thought of as immature. He knew that people would tell him he had such brave, strong and honorable friends - friends willing to sacrifice their lives for their country, but he didn’t care about that.
If they were killed in war, they would be lost to him forever. It would be the permanent end to their friendship, and Jaejoong couldn’t stand the thought. He swallowed hard and tried to think of something to say, but nothing would come to mind.
“It’s okay -“
“No, it’s not,” Jaejoong whispered, his voice tight with emotion. “You two are leaving and…and I…I can’t do anything about it.”
“It’s not your problem to -“
“It’s not you problem to solve either!” Jaejoong shouted, his voice loud and ringing throughout the bar. He didn’t care that people were staring at him - he was far too gone and overwhelmed by his emotions. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, “You don’t have to go!”
“Jaejoong -“
“I have to go for a bit. Please, don’t follow…I just need…I just need some time to think about everything,” the pianist whispered, the tumultuous wave of emotions he was feeling suddenly subsiding just as quickly as they had come. He wiped at his eyes and headed out the bar’s back door, determined to get out. The tension in the bar’s atmosphere was suffocating him at that moment, and he needed to escape it.
As soon as he was outside, the cold air greeted him in the form of a harsh wind. Jaejoong laughed bitterly and shook his head as he walked aimlessly to the street corner - even nature was harsh to him. He didn’t know whether to sob or not anymore, and his emotions were tiring him. Jaejoong shut his eyes and leaned against a lamp post, the metal cool against his skin. He took in deep breaths, willing away all his negative feelings and fears.
“Aren’t you cold?”
Jaejoong opened his eyes, and he straightened up when he saw Yunho standing only a few steps away from him. Before he could say a word, the man closed the distance between them and draped his coat over Jaejoong’s smaller frame. As Yunho fussed over him, Jaejoong could only watch silently.
When the other man stepped away, Jaejoong felt like crying.
“You’re leaving too, aren’t you?” he whispered, his voice unsteady. He swallowed hard and pulled Yunho’s coat closer to his frame, “Aren’t you?”
“…no, not yet,” Yunho murmured. He looked at Jaejoong in concern, “But…but your friends, they’re heading off soon…aren’t they?”
Jaejoong nodded, and he looked down, hot tears escaping the corners of his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. A sob escaped his lips, and before he could say something, strong arms pulled him close. Jaejoong buried his face into Yunho’s neck, wetting the other man’s shirt with his tears.
“Please don’t leave too,” Jaejoong whispered brokenly and so softly that it was muffled by the soldier’s body. “Please don’t leave me.” He gripped onto Yunho tightly before he jerked back suddenly, well aware that they were out in public. Fear seized him suddenly, and Jaejoong looked around, hoping that no one was around.
Luckily for them, no one was out.
“You should go back to your friends,” Yunho murmured, and Jaejoong was glad that he didn’t bother to say anything about the fact he’d stepped away from the other’s comforting embrace. He gazed at Jaejoong, a sad expression on his face, “You should enjoy this night with them…”
“And what about you?” Jaejoong whispered, “Aren’t you coming to the bar?”
“No…not tonight,” the Lieutenant Colonel replied. He reached out and smoothened out Jaejoong’s hair. “I have to go back now.” He shot Jaejoong a small, forced smile in the hopes of comforting the other, “Have a good night.”
“Wait, your coat -“
“Keep it. You’re not dressed warmly enough.” Yunho murmured. “I’ll come back to get it from you sometime soon.”
Jaejoong met Yunho’s eyes, and he looked at the other with an expression filled with hopefulness that he so desperately wished he could conceal.
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Yunho said seriously before he smiled once again then promptly departed, leaving behind Jaejoong to stare after his retreating figure and wonder why Yunho had come to the bar in the first place.
o-o-o
They were gone.
He’d said his farewells earlier in the day, and now they were gone. Jaejoong choked back a sob and chose to down another drink, preferring to drown in alcohol than his tears. The people around him were chatting about anything but the departure of several bar regulars, trying to keep the mood light with conversation about fashion or music, but none of them could keep Jaejoong’s attention or supply him with the comfort he needed.
“I have to go.”
Jaejoong’s head snapped up, and he looked at the man who’d spoken, a mail carrier for the military. The woman beside him pouted at him with her ruby red lips and held onto his arm, her nails digging into his sleeve and sending him a clear message - don’t go just yet. But what was more interesting to Jaejoong was a package close to the mail carrier’s side, and which for some reason, struck Jaejoong as odd..
However, he didn’t linger much on the package and turned back to his own thoughts. He needed some reason to go, but he had to make sure he would be able to leave easily and without raising any concern from anyone.
“You can just go yet baby,” his date whined, her displeasure evident. Her frowned deepened, “Can’t that package wait until morning?”
“It’s important -“
“Who’s it for?” Jaejoong asked, and he was suddenly feeling more sober than he had been several minutes previously because of the opportunity to leave without much resistance. He took a sip of water and looked at the man in front of him with interest. “If you want, I could deliver it for you.”
“Look at that honey,” the woman said delightfully, clearly pleased with Jaejoong’s offer. She looked at her date, “Just let him go deliver it for you.”
“Is it confidential?” Jaejoong asked, “Don’t worry. I’m used to dealing with military matters. I promise it’ll make it to wherever it’s supposed to go. You can trust me.”
“Jaejoong’s trustworthy,” chimed another person at the table. “I’ve seen him return things thousands of times to drunk bar patrons. You can let him take the package Soohyun - none of us will tell, and I’m sure Jaejoong can leave it behind without being noticed by anyone.”
Jaejoong smiled, “You can trust me. It’ll be fine. If you’re so worried about it, just show me where it’s supposed to be delivered. If it’s not on the way for me, I won’t bring it for you.”
“Well, alright then.”
Soohyun handed over the package, and Jaejoong looked down at the address that was written onto the brown packaging paper. His eyes widened a bit before he cleared his throat and looked up at the mail carrier. “I can bring it.”
“Are you sure?”
Jaejoong looked down at the address again then nodded. “I’m sure.”
o-o-o
He’d never been to Yunho’s home before. In fact, until now, he hadn’t even known where Yunho lived. It’d never bothered him that much, but as he made his way to the other man’s apartment, it began to bother him greatly.
Why hadn’t Yunho ever taken him over before? Was he hiding something?
Jaejoong felt a growing sense of dread in his stomach, and he began to regret picking up the package. He swallowed hard and shook his head - Yunho wouldn’t be hiding anything from him, would he? He stopped in front of the door way and raised his hand to the door, his index finger only centimeters from the doorbell.
It was now or never.
He pressed the doorbell and waited.
It felt like the seconds passed so slowly, and just as he was about to ring the doorbell again, the doorknob jostled. Jaejoong took a step back from the door, and he watched as the door opened, revealing Yunho.
Before he could get a word out of his mouth, a young girl ran up to him and held onto his leg. She looked up at him with sad, puppy dog eyes and then spoke, ignoring Jaejoong’s presence entirely.
“Daddy! I don’t wanna go to bed!” When Yunho didn’t respond, her pout grew wider, until she noticed Jaejoong’s presence. Her eyes widened, and she proceeded to move back behind her father.
She held onto Yunho’s leg tightly and asked softly, “Daddy, who’s this?”
>
Author’s Note: *___* So long. OTL Not happy with the summary, I might change it later on. Well, I kind of had this fic in mind with World War 2 as a setting of sorts…so yeah. XD It’s not really historically accurate or anything or whatever, but I just had that setting in mind. Hahaha. ^^ This is a three-shot btw. :3 Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! ♥