혀의 거짓말, 마음의 진실 (Hyeo-ui gojitmal, maeum-ui jinshil) [1]
Title: 혀의 거짓말, 마음의 진실
Beta: muramatsu_aoi
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Drama, Historical
Summary: He could lie to his allies, and he could lie to his enemies, but there was one thing he could not lie to - his heart.
art made by shigai
Glossary:
Gwanbok - the daily clothes of government officers when doing their duties
Durumagi - overcoat
Jeogori - blouse like top garment
Magoja - a garment worn over the jeogori, somewhat similar to a vest but may have sleeves
Gayageum - traditional Korean zither-like instrument
Gyobang - musical institutions where gisaengs were trained
Gisaeng - somewhat a Korean equivalent of a geisha but more closely related to courtesan, a highly educated performer and skilled entertainer as well.
Iganggo - soju with herbs, cinnamon, pear, ginger, and water added
---
The night was dark, and Jaejoong noticed the unusual silence that hung in the air. He moved past servants clearing dishes and made his way through the corridors hastily, frustrated with himself for being foolish enough to wake up late. He followed the directions that he’d memorized in the morning and slipped into a room where he knew the meeting would be taking place. The people inside paused their conversation and glanced at him, and he bowed apologetically for his tardiness, and as soon as he was seated, the meeting resumed.
“Things are not boding well for our movement,” Jinwoo noted irritably as he read the letter that had recently been delivered, “Time is in its constant flow, and the tide will not turn in our favor if we do not take action soon. The current king is growing in favor with the people because of his outward charm. Many are blinded by his exterior and fail to see that he is a fickle and incapable leader, and if he turns them wholly over to his side, then our chances to overthrow him will be gone entirely.”
“What do you suggest we do then? Two of our spies have been caught and poisoned,” one of the older members of the group questioned, “Information has been extremely well guarded, and a direct attack would be of no advantage to us whatsoever.”
“More subtle diversions have not gone well for us either,” Jaejoong added, “I have been keeping the gisaengs company by posing as their instructor, but the government officials seem more content to drink and be merry than to talk about anything important.”
Jinwoo slammed a clenched fist onto a table, and the pottery rattled due to the force of his blow onto the wooden surface. He shook his head and stared down at the table, “Those pigs have grown insolent and lazy because of the king’s incompetence - it frustrates me to know that they sit at such high positions of power. All we need is a minor slip on their part, and the advantage shall be ours.”
“What do you suggest then?” asked a young man. He looked at Jinwoo for answers, but the older man merely raised his eyes and glared at the young man irritably.
“I am not holding a meeting with myself, am I? If I had all the answers and information I needed, do you think I would waste my time meeting with fools like you?”
o-o-o
After the meeting had ended, Jaejoong lingered in the room for a bit longer. He bowed to those who left, and as soon as only he and Jinwoo were in the room, the door opened and Yoonwol entered the room. She sat down next to Jaejoong, and Jaejoong looked at her in confusion for a few seconds before he turned to pay attention to Jinwoo.
“I requested you to stay because I have an important task for you to accomplish, and I do not wish for the other members of the group to look down upon you,” Jinwoo explained as he relaxed into a more comfortable sitting position.
Jaejoong frowned, “I do not understand. What is it that I must do?”
“Yoonwol has shared information with me that I find most intriguing,” Jinwoo continued, ignoring Jaejoong’s question momentarily. He drummed his fingers on the table and raised his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s, “What do you know of the head of the palace guard?”
“Jung Yunho?” Jaejoong’s frowned deepened, “I know very little of him. He is respected by his men and that is all I know -“
“It seems then that perhaps you are less observant than I had thought,” Jinwoo’s eyes flickered over to Yoonwol, and he gestured to her with his hand, “Please repeat what you had told me earlier this evening.”
Jaejoong glanced at Yoonwol, and the gisaeng met his eyes briefly before she turned them away and kept her gaze onto the intricate patterned designs on her colorful jeogori.
“After days of observation, I have come to notice that Jung Yunho has taken a liking to Jaejoong. During events, he would often sit close to Jaejoong and I have heard from one of my customers that Jung Yunho talks highly of him.”
“I do not understand,” Jaejoong said slowly as he processed the information, “The head of the palace guard sees me in high regard. I do not -“
“I have heard from several of my customers that they believe the man is attracted to you in a way that is not of the norm,” Yoonwol whispered softly, her voice barely audible, “I myself have noticed how little attention he pays to female company and how much attention he pays to you whenever you are present in the room.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and glanced at Jinwoo, “Is that why you have singled me out? What do you wish for me to do? Do you wish for me to…take advantage of these supposed feelings?”
“Yes, I do believe you finally understand my intentions,” Jinwoo replied, “I am demanding that you take advantage of the feelings that Jung Yunho possesses for you, and you must do whatever is necessary for you to be able to dig deeper into the royal palace’s machinations.”
“Are you saying -“
“If he wishes to bed you, then you must let him,” Jinwoo said coldly, “Please him in any and every way that he wishes. Let him fulfill his desires so that you may exploit his weakness for you and use it to our benefit.”
Jaejoong felt sick to his stomach. All though he’d hardly ever shown interest for women, the idea of lying with another man had never entered his mind. Just the mere idea of being forced to spread his legs like a whore made him feel revolted, yet he kept his mouth shut.
He averted his gaze to the floor and clenched his fists tightly. No matter the consequence, he had a mission to achieve, and he would pull through.
“Are you capable?” Jinwoo questioned, his voice ringing in Jaejoong’s ears.
Jaejoong raised his eyes off the floor and met Jinwoo’s, staring back at him with a cold look that betrayed none of his true feelings of disgust and shame.
“Yes.”
o-o-o
Now that he was aware of Yunho’s affections for him, every single movement made by the other man made him go into a defensive mode. Jaejoong inched away from him whenever Yunho moved to reach for the Iganggo bottle, and it made the latter noticeably aware of Jaejoong’s growing discomfort.
“Have I displeased you in any way?” Yunho asked as he poured the soju, his eyes trained onto the liquid instead of Jaejoong’s face.
Jaejoong bit his lip and shook his head. He could feel Yoonwol’s eyes on him, and he swallowed hard and reached over to brush his hands against Yunho’s to take the bottle out of his hands. He deliberately moved his hands slowly, and he felt the surprise radiate off Yunho. He felt Yunho’s eyes on his face as he placed the bottle back onto the table, and when he turned to look at the other man, the palace guard was studying him.
“No, I can assure you,” Jaejoong said slowly, trying to force out words in the soft, breathy, and demure manner that Yoonwol had assured him attracted men, “You have not displeased me in any way.”
He swallowed hard and licked his lips, Yunho’s eyes on him the entire time. Jaejoong raised his eyes slowly and forced what he hoped was a shy smile, “I am sorry to have worried you. I assure you, I see you in the highest regard.”
Yunho leaned back and a smile quirked at his lips, “Is that so?”
Jaejoong found himself at a loss for words and merely nodded. He’d never been a man of many words and despite Yoonwol’s advice to compliment and flatter the other man, he could not deny the kind of person that he was. To speak endlessly and to flirt shamelessly were not any of his characteristics, and if he were to suddenly make a complete change of character, he was sure that the palace guard would be suspicious of him.
Although he was supposed to be racing against time, if he were to be careless, his efforts would be in vain, and so Jaejoong decided that he would have to move slowly and cautiously, calculating each move so that he would achieve his desired result.
He would have Jung Yunho fall in love with him.
o-o-o
“Is it difficult to learn how to play?” Yunho asked as he gestured to the gisaeng that was playing the gayageum. He glanced at Jaejoong, and Jaejoong watched the girl play before he turned to look at Yunho.
In all honesty, he had no knowledge on how to play the instrument. The only things he knew about it were second hand information relayed to him by Yoonwol and the other gisaengs because he was only posing as an instructor.
Jaejoong licked his lips and reached over to the table to hand Yunho his cup, “I would say that it is about as difficult as learning to play any instrument,” he brushed his fingers purposefully against Yunho’s as he offered him the cup, and he raised his eyes to meet Yunho’s as soon as the cup was within the other’s grip. “If one is hard working, then learning will be easy. If one is lazy, then learning will be difficult.”
“Would you teach me then?” Yunho asked as he raised his cup to his lips. He took a small sip and smiled charmingly at Jaejoong, “Most have said though that my only talent is sword fighting. I am not one for the arts.”
Jaejoong furrowed his brows, “If you are not a man of the arts, why would you like to learn how to play the gayageum then?” he asked bluntly.
“Why, so I may spend more time with you in private,” Yunho whispered, a smile on his face and his voice lowered so that only Jaejoong could hear him. He chuckled softly and reached forward to brush back a strand of Jaejoong’s hair, “I am sure that you are a most excellent teacher.”
Jaejoong stiffened slightly and forced a smile, “If you would like a review of my skill as an instructor, perhaps it would be better for you to ask my students.”
“A student may have a prejudiced opinion that would either over praise or under value the true quality of their instructor’s teaching. I would like to form my own opinion from my own experience, and not from the experiences of others.”
“It seems like a wise philosophy to have,” Jaejoong replied as he felt Yunho’s leg brush against his own. He glanced at Yunho and studied his features, his eyes lingering on the other man’s face longer than usual. He was a handsome man, and Jaejoong had yet to find much of a flaw in him.
He was obviously interested in him, but it was due to Jaejoong’s own apprehension that their relationship had not progressed into any sort of intimacy. While relationships between men were scandalous and revolted, Jung Yunho had managed to achieve a rank high enough in which his men would reveal nothing and say nothing about his choice of lifestyle.
As Jaejoong observed the man, he wondered if perhaps he had other lovers and if he was just another conquest to him.
“Is there something on my face?”
“Just a black bean,” Jaejoong murmured in reply as he turned away in an attempt to hide the blush that had crept across his cheeks, “Aside from that, there is nothing that mars your face.”
Yunho furrowed his brows and touched his face, “Where is - “ When he realized that Jaejoong had been joking about the mole above his upper lip, he laughed and smiled widely, “So aside from my mole, you see my face as perfect?”
“I said no such thing,” Jaejoong replied before he took a sip of his soju, “I simply -“ he paused and noticed that the music in the room had stopped. He glanced over at where the gisaengs were playing, and he noticed that Yoonwol was looking at him.
A servant hastily made his way over to them, and he knelt down in front of Jaejoong, “I am sorry to interrupt, but the string of the gayageum has snapped. It is said that you would know where one may get a replacement.”
Jaejoong glanced at Yoonwol, and she sent him a meaningful look before she stood up, bowed, and quietly made her way out of the room. He looked at the servant and nodded, “I will assist Yoonwol. Your services are not necessary.”
The servant bowed, and as soon as he was gone, Jaejoong apologized to Yunho, “I am sorry, but I must leave you for the moment. It’s important that I assist -“
Yunho brushed off Jaejoong’s apology and smiled charmingly, “I understand. Perhaps you would be in need of my assistance? I may not know how to string a gayageum, but I could get one of my men to fetch a string for you.”
Jaejoong stood up and shook his head, “I would not want to inconvenience you -“
“It would be no inconvenience for me,” Yunho interrupted, “You are well aware of how fond I am of you. It would be my pleasure to give you assistance.”
“I do not think your men would appreciate being told to fetch items like servants,” Jaejoong murmured hesitantly. He noticed that Yunho was about to protest once again, so he immediately spoke before Yunho could interrupt him, “I must go now. If I delay any further, Yoonwol will be unable to perform again tonight.”
He slipped out of the room, and he caught sight of Yoonwol’s colorful garments at the end of the corridor. Jaejoong made his way to her, and as soon as he was at her side, she began to lead him out into the courtyard.
As soon as they were distant from any of the palace guards, Yoonwol edged closer to Jaejoong and whispered, “You are moving too slowly,” she chided, “You have been glued to his side for two weeks now, and you have not even progressed into the deeper stages of a relationship.”
“I do not feel it is appropriate -“
“Appropriate?” Yoonwol glanced up at Jaejoong irritably before she looked away, “You are not seeing him out of love, and you need not feel reserved. What you are doing is a duty, and what you feel about the situation is not as important as your task.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and avoided stepping on her skirt as they made their way through the palace, “What would you advise for me to do then?”
“Have you never been intimate with anyone?”
The answer to her question was silence, and she huffed irritably, “Provide a situation that shall allow for both of you to be alone. If you wish, you may try to get the man drunk so he may lose his inhibitions. As you know nothing about intimacy, let him lead you and respond to whatever it is that he wants from you. Even if what he does is not pleasurable, make him believe otherwise. Do you understand?”
Jaejoong nodded, “I understand.”
“It is too late in the event for you to attempt seducing him tonight,” Yoonwol explained as they made their way out of the palace, “Tomorrow night, when he asks why you never returned to the event say that you did not feel well.”
An idea formulated in Jaejoong’s head, and he nodded, “I see. You need not worry over me any longer Yoonwol. I know what it is that I have to do now.”
o-o-o
“Why did you not return to the event last night?”
Jaejoong bowed his head apologetically and poured Yunho more soju. When he placed the bottle back onto the table, he smiled tiredly, “I did not feel well.”
Yunho frowned worriedly, and Jaejoong felt a twinge of guilt. The other man reached out and touched his forehead in concern, “How do you feel now?”
“I think I feel better,” Jaejoong replied airily, feigning illness. He let out a couple of uneasy breaths and smiled at Yunho once again, “I would very much like to rest, but I have to oversee the gisaengs and make sure that their training is being applied to -“
“I think you need to rest.”
Jaejoong shook his head, “Where I live is quite far from the palace, I do not think that it would be wise for me to return home so early without -“
“Would you like to rest in my home? It is within the palace grounds,” Yunho suggested as he gently ran his fingers through the dark length of Jaejoong’s hair, “You may rest for a few minutes there before returning here. I assure you, the distance is not too far to be troublesome for you.”
Jajeoong hid his pleased smile by looking down at the ground. He allowed for a few seconds to pass before he lifted his head and looked at Yunho hesitantly, “I would not like to inconvenience you -“
Yunho shook his head, “It would be of no inconvenience to me at all.” He stood up and held his hand out for Jaejoong to hold onto, “Come, I shall show you where I live.”
Jaejoong blushed slightly when he took hold of Yunho’s hand and as soon as Yunho tightened the grip he had on him, his heart pounded faster in his chest. He rose to his feet shakily, distracted by what was going on, but as soon as he saw Yoonwol smiling at him in approval, he felt his unusual state of happiness diminish.
He let go of Yunho’s hand as soon as he was steady on his feet. Jaejoong swallowed hard and kept his eyes focused downward as he followed Yunho. His heart was drumming in his chest, and he felt uneasy at the thought of what was to come. Although he’d tried to assume an air of confidence about the whole situation, he was still scared.
“Is something wrong? Do you feel -“
Jaejoong shook his head mutely, and Yunho looked at him in concern but said nothing. They walked in silence through the courtyard, and as soon as they reached Yunho’s humble abode, Jaejoong stiffened. He watched as Yunho slid the door open, and the moment Jaejoong was inside the room as well, he felt a shiver run up his spine.
He drifted away from Yunho to look around the room, and when he was observing an ornamental sword perched on the wall, the other man spoke.
“You’re not sick, are you?”
Jaejoong stiffened, and he waited for Yunho to continue speaking, but he didn’t. He did not turn his head in fear of what Yunho’s question would be, and he didn’t trust himself to be a talented enough actor, so he kept his eyes focused on the sword in front of him when he answered, “I did not lie to you -“
A hand settled at his waist, and Jaejoong inhaled sharply as he felt Yunho draw him closer to his body. He felt the warmth of Yunho’s breath ghost against the skin of his neck, and his heart beat wildly in his chest.
“Seeing as you have spent so much time around gisaengs, I can’t say that I am surprised that you have adopted some of their tricks in charming men,” Yunho whispered as his wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s waist. His lips brushed against the exposed skin of Jaejoong’s neck, and he paused, “Am I alarming you?”
“Not at all,” Jaejoong breathed out, his voice barely audible.
Yunho pressed his lips against the back of Jaejoong’s ear, “Have you ever been with a man?” he whispered. “Does my touch disgust you?”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and replied, “Your touches are not unpleasant, and…you have the honor to be the first to have touched me in this way.” His eyes fluttered shut when he felt Yunho’s tongue move across his sensitive skin, and his knees grew weak.
“It is the first time that I have desired anyone as much as I long for you,” Yunho murmured as he began to untie Jaejoong’s durumagi. He pulled at the fabric and with minor assistance from Jaejoong, the fabric fell to the floor.
Shivers ran up Jaejoong’s spine, and he said nothing as he felt Yunho brush back his long curtain of hair so that he could continue kissing his neck. He tilted his head in order to bare more of his skin to Yunho, and the other man quickly moved his mouth over to claim more of his untouched porcelain skin.
A moan escaped Jaejoong’s lips, and he blushed in embarrassment. He felt intoxicated by Yunho’s touches, and he could do nothing but stand still as Yunho began to undress him. He shivered when his jeogori was pulled off, and just as he was about to speak, Yunho turned him around in order for their eyes to meet.
Jaejoong stared into Yunho’s lust darkened eyes and felt the words he had meant to say die at the tip of his tongue. They stared at each other questioningly for a few seconds before Yunho leaned down to kiss him. The feeling was unusual for Jaejoong, and as he felt Yunho’s tongue brush against his lips, he was unsure of what do to next. He hesitantly opened his mouth, and when Yunho’s tongue wrapped around his, he moaned into Yunho’s mouth and impulsively reached forward to grasp at the other man.
He could begin to feel the stirrings of his arousal, and his mind was being clouded by the pleasure that he was feeling. Jaejoong cupped Yunho’s face to bring his mouth closer, and when they broke apart for air, Yunho looked noticeably pleased.
“This is much better than my first and last experience,” Yunho whispered as he ran his fingers through Jaejoong’s hair tenderly, “Awkward kisses shared between awkward young men does not make for a romantic love story.”
Jaejoong’s eyes widened at the mention of love, but before he could mull over Yunho’s words, the man claimed his lips once again and his mind shut down. He slowly began to respond to Yunho’s slow and gentle kisses, and his stomach churned with an odd sensation.
When Yunho broke away from him again, Jaejoong licked his lips, and Yunho smiled at him charmingly.
“Did you enjoy that?” he questioned as his hands settled once again at Jaejoong’s waist.
Jaejoong blushed in embarrassment and nodded, “I did.” He felt conscious of the movements of Yunho’s hand, and when it neared his erection, he tried to move away, but Yunho’s hand kept him firmly in place. He raised his eyes to look up at Yunho in confusion, “Don’t touch me there.”
“Shush,” Yunho whispered calmly, “I am a man, and I know what it is you want.” His hands slowly pulled down the rest of Jaejoong’s clothes, allowing for the fabric to pool at his feet, “Do not be uneasy. I will not hurt you.”
He pressed a chaste kiss to Jaejoong’s lips before he knelt down. Jaejoong looked down at him worriedly, and his face heat up in embarrassment. He watched as Yunho’s mouth neared his erection, and he watched in rapt fascination as Yunho leaned forward to take the tip into his mouth and suck.
The pleasurable feeling of thrill and ecstasy were foreign to him, and Jaejoong was unsure of what to do except to moan in pleasure as Yunho took more of him into his mouth. To look down and watch his cock disappear into the other man’s mouth made him all the more aroused, so he chose instead to keep his eyes shut as Yunho pleasured him.
His moans and the sound of Yunho’s actions filled the room, and Jaejoong could feel himself losing to the new feelings of pleasure. His stomach tightened, and as Yunho began to speed up his actions, Jaejoong began to find it a bit more difficult to breathe. He reached forward to grasp at Yunho’s hair desperately, and as Yunho sped up, it was not much longer until the pressure was too much and he came into Yunho’s mouth.
Jaejoong moaned loudly and rode out his orgasm, panting heavily as Yunho swallowed most of what he had released. His heavy breathing filled the room, and he held onto Yunho for stability as he tried to regain his senses.
Yunho stood up, and Jaejoong felt himself once again heat up with embarrassment. He saw the liquid that had dried at the edge of the corner of Yunho’s mouth, and before he could even question his decision, he leaned forward it licked it off the other man’s face.
A pleased smile crossed Yunho’s face, and he kissed Jaejoong’s forehead before he walked away to retrieve a cloth for Jaejoong. He dampened it with a pitcher of water before he returned and gently cleaned the other man.
“What about you?” Jaejoong whispered.
Yunho pulled away and held the cloth in his hands, “I will be fine…for tonight.” He placed the cloth down onto the table and smiled, “Will I see you again tomorrow?” he asked.
Jaejoong began to dress, and he nodded, “I shall return.”
“Come back here then,” Yunho spoke as he moved away from Jaejoong to a distant corner of his room, “Do not linger at the event. I shall be here, waiting for you to arrive.” He looked at Jaejoong questioningly, “That is, if you wish for us to resume where we left off tonight.”
“I will come back,” he murmured before he quickly exited the room and made his way out of Yunho’s residence. He hastily made his way back to where the event was taking place, and as soon as he reached the area, the guests had already left.
Yoonwol stood up from where she was and walked over to him. Her eyes raked over his body, and she took note of his hastily dressed appearance.
“It seems you’ve made progress,” she commented bluntly, “That is good for us.”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, “He wishes to see me again tomorrow night in his residence, and I have promised that I would attend to his demand. I will not be accompanying you any longer while you perform.”
Yoonwol nodded slowly, and she bit the inside of her cheek for a few seconds before she spoke again, “Did he hurt you?”
“No, he did not. He was kind.”
“I see, well…I suggest you remember why it is that you are offering yourself up to him so that you never lose track of -“
Jaejoong felt a flash of anger, and he replied, “I am well aware of my duty. Do not think that I am foolish enough to lose track of my mission just because he is kind. I know what I have to do, and I will accomplish my task without compromising myself. He means nothing to me.”
Before Yoonwol could speak another word to him, Jaejoong turned away and left, filled with turbulent emotions that he could not settle until he was within his own home and within the comfort of solitude.
o-o-o
The first time they had sex was uncomfortable for Jaejoong, but Yunho was kind and patient. He’d whispered reassuring words as he took Jaejoong’s virginity. The second time they had sex was much better than the first, and before drifting off to sleep, Yunho had whispered how much Jaejoong had improved. The days had flown past since their first evening together, and Jaejoong was assured that he satisfied Yunho as a lover.
He admired Yunho’s sculpted body whenever they had sex, and he kissed Yunho back with equal fervor. It would be a lie for him to say that he did not enjoy having sex with Yunho for Yunho was a very talented lover, but it would also be a lie for him to say that he felt much of anything whenever Yunho held him.
When they lied together in bed and Yunho held him tight, all Jaejoong could think of was when Jinwoo would give him a task to do. Yoonwol was aware that he was constantly in Yunho’s company, and he trusted the gisaeng would relay to Jinwoo that his mission was going successfully. It was obvious from the way that Yunho held him that the other man’s feelings had grown in magnitude.
Jaejoong felt himself pity Yunho slightly, for although the man was a part of a regime that he loathed, he knew that Yunho was a good person. Although the current king was manipulative and greedy, he knew from firsthand experience that Yunho carried out his job dutifully and as best as he could.
Yunho was a man worth respect, and if perhaps, in another life, they were on the same side and not enemies, Jaejoong knew that he would’ve held Yunho in the highest regard.
He stared out into the darkness of the room and shifted in Yunho’s embrace. Whenever he spent the night with the other man, he never slept much. His mind wandered, and he was constantly on guard. While he knew that Yunho was beginning to trust him, he could not bring himself to trust Yunho.
No matter what, Yunho was still part of the enemy.
“You’re not asleep,” Yunho whispered as he slowly drew Jaejoong closer. He pressed a soft kiss behind Jaejoong’s ear and ran his fingers through the inky strands of Jaejoong’s hair, “Is something the matter?”
Jaejoong moved slightly to put space between him and Yunho, “No, nothing is wrong.”
“How long have you been awake?” Yunho questioned softly, his tiredness evident in his voice as he ran his hand up and down Jaejoong’s side comfortingly.
“I don’t know,” Jaejoong replied honestly.
Before he could say something else, Yunho turned him over. They faced one another in the darkness of the room, but thanks to the candle that was close to them, Jaejoong could faintly make out the features of Yunho’s handsome face. His eyes trailed up the faint scar under Yunho’s left eye until he met the other’s eyes.
Yunho smiled warmly and once again ran his fingers through Jaejoong’s hair soothingly. He said nothing until after a few seconds had passed, “Is there something you would like to talk about?” he questioned.
Jaejoong shook his head, “No, nothing at all.”
“I see,” Yunho whispered before he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss against Jaejoong’s forehead. He cupped Jaejoong’s face with one hand and slowly caressed Jaejoong’s face with his thumb, “You are so beautiful.”
Yunho’s compliment made Jaejoong feel uneasy, and he merely forced a smile and a thank you in response. To be honest, Jaejoong had no clue why Yunho was so kind to him. Was it just because of his attraction to him? He knew that was kind to Yunho because he needed the other man’s trust, but what did Yunho have to gain from him?
Or more importantly, what did he have to give Yunho? Did Yunho expect something more than sex from him? Jaejoong studied Yunho carefully, but the man’s face betrayed nothing aside from a calm afterglow.
“You look troubled,” Yunho observed, “Are you sure that nothing is wrong -“
There was sharp knock against the frame of the door, and Yunho sat up immediately. Jaejoong caught sight of a silhouette at the door, and he pulled up the bed sheets as he watched Yunho stand up and dress quickly. As soon as Yunho was modest, he slid the door open slightly.
“What is it?”
“The king wishes to see you on matters regarding an increase in security,” the guard explained seriously, “He apologizes for disturbing your slumber, but he says it is of utmost priority that you meet with him.”
“I understand,” Yunho said, “I shall be there soon.”
He slid the door shut and looked at Jaejoong, who was watching him carefully from the bed. He walked over to the younger man and kissed him softly before standing up and heading to his dresser to change.
Jaejoong was unmoving as he watched Yunho dress, and as soon as the palace guard was in his uniform, he turned around to look at Jaejoong.
“I hate to leave you when you seem so troubled,” Yunho murmured, “But I must attend to my duty to the king. Perhaps if you sleep, you shall find comfort from whatever it is that ails you.”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, and Yunho shot him a small smile before he exited the room. As soon as he was gone, Jaejoong stood up. It was the first time he’d ever been alone in Yunho’s room before, so he quickly used the opportunity to his advantage.
He moved to the corner where he often watched Yunho work late at night, and he rifled through the documents in search of anything interesting. Most of them were schedules for guard duty, so Jaejoong quickly read through each document. He tried finding a map of the palace, but he was unable to find one.
As he neared the end of the pile, he stopped when his eyes skimmed over a document that seemed to be out of place with the other ones. It was a request for a meeting, and Jaejoong read through it before quickly placing it back where he had found it. As soon as he was done taking note of each document, he fixed everything and placed it back in its original order before returning to bed.
He finally managed to fall asleep, but when he heard the door slide open, Jaejoong felt himself wake up somewhat. His mind was still in the blurry stage between sleep and consciousness, so he barely registered Yunho slipping back into bed next to him.
His body impulsively leaned into Yunho’s embrace, and just as Jaejoong was about to slip back into unconsciousness, Yunho whispered into his ear.
“I love you.”
Jaejoong’s eyes snapped open, and he froze. He felt his stomach churn with guilt, especially after what he’d just done, but he kept his breathing calm in order for Yunho to not realize that he had suddenly woken up. His heart pounded in his chest, and as soon as Yunho’s soft snores began to fill the room, the three words he’d just heard refused to stop ringing in his ears, and he was unable to fall back into sleep for the rest of the evening.
>
Author’s Note: Thank you so much to Sara for allowing me to post her art! I do not want the art being spread around, and please, do not tamper with it in any way. I actually finished this sometime ago, but I only got it finished (in terms of beta-ing) just recently. ^__^ I also have some other updates, so whoooo~ for that. Hahaha. Oh yes, in case any of you are wondering, the title means Lies of the Tongue, Truths of the Heart, and was translated by my beta. <3 Stay safe everyone, and thank you for reading & commenting! ♥
Beta: muramatsu_aoi
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Drama, Historical
Summary: He could lie to his allies, and he could lie to his enemies, but there was one thing he could not lie to - his heart.
art made by shigai
Glossary:
Gwanbok - the daily clothes of government officers when doing their duties
Durumagi - overcoat
Jeogori - blouse like top garment
Magoja - a garment worn over the jeogori, somewhat similar to a vest but may have sleeves
Gayageum - traditional Korean zither-like instrument
Gyobang - musical institutions where gisaengs were trained
Gisaeng - somewhat a Korean equivalent of a geisha but more closely related to courtesan, a highly educated performer and skilled entertainer as well.
Iganggo - soju with herbs, cinnamon, pear, ginger, and water added
---
The night was dark, and Jaejoong noticed the unusual silence that hung in the air. He moved past servants clearing dishes and made his way through the corridors hastily, frustrated with himself for being foolish enough to wake up late. He followed the directions that he’d memorized in the morning and slipped into a room where he knew the meeting would be taking place. The people inside paused their conversation and glanced at him, and he bowed apologetically for his tardiness, and as soon as he was seated, the meeting resumed.
“Things are not boding well for our movement,” Jinwoo noted irritably as he read the letter that had recently been delivered, “Time is in its constant flow, and the tide will not turn in our favor if we do not take action soon. The current king is growing in favor with the people because of his outward charm. Many are blinded by his exterior and fail to see that he is a fickle and incapable leader, and if he turns them wholly over to his side, then our chances to overthrow him will be gone entirely.”
“What do you suggest we do then? Two of our spies have been caught and poisoned,” one of the older members of the group questioned, “Information has been extremely well guarded, and a direct attack would be of no advantage to us whatsoever.”
“More subtle diversions have not gone well for us either,” Jaejoong added, “I have been keeping the gisaengs company by posing as their instructor, but the government officials seem more content to drink and be merry than to talk about anything important.”
Jinwoo slammed a clenched fist onto a table, and the pottery rattled due to the force of his blow onto the wooden surface. He shook his head and stared down at the table, “Those pigs have grown insolent and lazy because of the king’s incompetence - it frustrates me to know that they sit at such high positions of power. All we need is a minor slip on their part, and the advantage shall be ours.”
“What do you suggest then?” asked a young man. He looked at Jinwoo for answers, but the older man merely raised his eyes and glared at the young man irritably.
“I am not holding a meeting with myself, am I? If I had all the answers and information I needed, do you think I would waste my time meeting with fools like you?”
o-o-o
After the meeting had ended, Jaejoong lingered in the room for a bit longer. He bowed to those who left, and as soon as only he and Jinwoo were in the room, the door opened and Yoonwol entered the room. She sat down next to Jaejoong, and Jaejoong looked at her in confusion for a few seconds before he turned to pay attention to Jinwoo.
“I requested you to stay because I have an important task for you to accomplish, and I do not wish for the other members of the group to look down upon you,” Jinwoo explained as he relaxed into a more comfortable sitting position.
Jaejoong frowned, “I do not understand. What is it that I must do?”
“Yoonwol has shared information with me that I find most intriguing,” Jinwoo continued, ignoring Jaejoong’s question momentarily. He drummed his fingers on the table and raised his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s, “What do you know of the head of the palace guard?”
“Jung Yunho?” Jaejoong’s frowned deepened, “I know very little of him. He is respected by his men and that is all I know -“
“It seems then that perhaps you are less observant than I had thought,” Jinwoo’s eyes flickered over to Yoonwol, and he gestured to her with his hand, “Please repeat what you had told me earlier this evening.”
Jaejoong glanced at Yoonwol, and the gisaeng met his eyes briefly before she turned them away and kept her gaze onto the intricate patterned designs on her colorful jeogori.
“After days of observation, I have come to notice that Jung Yunho has taken a liking to Jaejoong. During events, he would often sit close to Jaejoong and I have heard from one of my customers that Jung Yunho talks highly of him.”
“I do not understand,” Jaejoong said slowly as he processed the information, “The head of the palace guard sees me in high regard. I do not -“
“I have heard from several of my customers that they believe the man is attracted to you in a way that is not of the norm,” Yoonwol whispered softly, her voice barely audible, “I myself have noticed how little attention he pays to female company and how much attention he pays to you whenever you are present in the room.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and glanced at Jinwoo, “Is that why you have singled me out? What do you wish for me to do? Do you wish for me to…take advantage of these supposed feelings?”
“Yes, I do believe you finally understand my intentions,” Jinwoo replied, “I am demanding that you take advantage of the feelings that Jung Yunho possesses for you, and you must do whatever is necessary for you to be able to dig deeper into the royal palace’s machinations.”
“Are you saying -“
“If he wishes to bed you, then you must let him,” Jinwoo said coldly, “Please him in any and every way that he wishes. Let him fulfill his desires so that you may exploit his weakness for you and use it to our benefit.”
Jaejoong felt sick to his stomach. All though he’d hardly ever shown interest for women, the idea of lying with another man had never entered his mind. Just the mere idea of being forced to spread his legs like a whore made him feel revolted, yet he kept his mouth shut.
He averted his gaze to the floor and clenched his fists tightly. No matter the consequence, he had a mission to achieve, and he would pull through.
“Are you capable?” Jinwoo questioned, his voice ringing in Jaejoong’s ears.
Jaejoong raised his eyes off the floor and met Jinwoo’s, staring back at him with a cold look that betrayed none of his true feelings of disgust and shame.
“Yes.”
o-o-o
Now that he was aware of Yunho’s affections for him, every single movement made by the other man made him go into a defensive mode. Jaejoong inched away from him whenever Yunho moved to reach for the Iganggo bottle, and it made the latter noticeably aware of Jaejoong’s growing discomfort.
“Have I displeased you in any way?” Yunho asked as he poured the soju, his eyes trained onto the liquid instead of Jaejoong’s face.
Jaejoong bit his lip and shook his head. He could feel Yoonwol’s eyes on him, and he swallowed hard and reached over to brush his hands against Yunho’s to take the bottle out of his hands. He deliberately moved his hands slowly, and he felt the surprise radiate off Yunho. He felt Yunho’s eyes on his face as he placed the bottle back onto the table, and when he turned to look at the other man, the palace guard was studying him.
“No, I can assure you,” Jaejoong said slowly, trying to force out words in the soft, breathy, and demure manner that Yoonwol had assured him attracted men, “You have not displeased me in any way.”
He swallowed hard and licked his lips, Yunho’s eyes on him the entire time. Jaejoong raised his eyes slowly and forced what he hoped was a shy smile, “I am sorry to have worried you. I assure you, I see you in the highest regard.”
Yunho leaned back and a smile quirked at his lips, “Is that so?”
Jaejoong found himself at a loss for words and merely nodded. He’d never been a man of many words and despite Yoonwol’s advice to compliment and flatter the other man, he could not deny the kind of person that he was. To speak endlessly and to flirt shamelessly were not any of his characteristics, and if he were to suddenly make a complete change of character, he was sure that the palace guard would be suspicious of him.
Although he was supposed to be racing against time, if he were to be careless, his efforts would be in vain, and so Jaejoong decided that he would have to move slowly and cautiously, calculating each move so that he would achieve his desired result.
He would have Jung Yunho fall in love with him.
o-o-o
“Is it difficult to learn how to play?” Yunho asked as he gestured to the gisaeng that was playing the gayageum. He glanced at Jaejoong, and Jaejoong watched the girl play before he turned to look at Yunho.
In all honesty, he had no knowledge on how to play the instrument. The only things he knew about it were second hand information relayed to him by Yoonwol and the other gisaengs because he was only posing as an instructor.
Jaejoong licked his lips and reached over to the table to hand Yunho his cup, “I would say that it is about as difficult as learning to play any instrument,” he brushed his fingers purposefully against Yunho’s as he offered him the cup, and he raised his eyes to meet Yunho’s as soon as the cup was within the other’s grip. “If one is hard working, then learning will be easy. If one is lazy, then learning will be difficult.”
“Would you teach me then?” Yunho asked as he raised his cup to his lips. He took a small sip and smiled charmingly at Jaejoong, “Most have said though that my only talent is sword fighting. I am not one for the arts.”
Jaejoong furrowed his brows, “If you are not a man of the arts, why would you like to learn how to play the gayageum then?” he asked bluntly.
“Why, so I may spend more time with you in private,” Yunho whispered, a smile on his face and his voice lowered so that only Jaejoong could hear him. He chuckled softly and reached forward to brush back a strand of Jaejoong’s hair, “I am sure that you are a most excellent teacher.”
Jaejoong stiffened slightly and forced a smile, “If you would like a review of my skill as an instructor, perhaps it would be better for you to ask my students.”
“A student may have a prejudiced opinion that would either over praise or under value the true quality of their instructor’s teaching. I would like to form my own opinion from my own experience, and not from the experiences of others.”
“It seems like a wise philosophy to have,” Jaejoong replied as he felt Yunho’s leg brush against his own. He glanced at Yunho and studied his features, his eyes lingering on the other man’s face longer than usual. He was a handsome man, and Jaejoong had yet to find much of a flaw in him.
He was obviously interested in him, but it was due to Jaejoong’s own apprehension that their relationship had not progressed into any sort of intimacy. While relationships between men were scandalous and revolted, Jung Yunho had managed to achieve a rank high enough in which his men would reveal nothing and say nothing about his choice of lifestyle.
As Jaejoong observed the man, he wondered if perhaps he had other lovers and if he was just another conquest to him.
“Is there something on my face?”
“Just a black bean,” Jaejoong murmured in reply as he turned away in an attempt to hide the blush that had crept across his cheeks, “Aside from that, there is nothing that mars your face.”
Yunho furrowed his brows and touched his face, “Where is - “ When he realized that Jaejoong had been joking about the mole above his upper lip, he laughed and smiled widely, “So aside from my mole, you see my face as perfect?”
“I said no such thing,” Jaejoong replied before he took a sip of his soju, “I simply -“ he paused and noticed that the music in the room had stopped. He glanced over at where the gisaengs were playing, and he noticed that Yoonwol was looking at him.
A servant hastily made his way over to them, and he knelt down in front of Jaejoong, “I am sorry to interrupt, but the string of the gayageum has snapped. It is said that you would know where one may get a replacement.”
Jaejoong glanced at Yoonwol, and she sent him a meaningful look before she stood up, bowed, and quietly made her way out of the room. He looked at the servant and nodded, “I will assist Yoonwol. Your services are not necessary.”
The servant bowed, and as soon as he was gone, Jaejoong apologized to Yunho, “I am sorry, but I must leave you for the moment. It’s important that I assist -“
Yunho brushed off Jaejoong’s apology and smiled charmingly, “I understand. Perhaps you would be in need of my assistance? I may not know how to string a gayageum, but I could get one of my men to fetch a string for you.”
Jaejoong stood up and shook his head, “I would not want to inconvenience you -“
“It would be no inconvenience for me,” Yunho interrupted, “You are well aware of how fond I am of you. It would be my pleasure to give you assistance.”
“I do not think your men would appreciate being told to fetch items like servants,” Jaejoong murmured hesitantly. He noticed that Yunho was about to protest once again, so he immediately spoke before Yunho could interrupt him, “I must go now. If I delay any further, Yoonwol will be unable to perform again tonight.”
He slipped out of the room, and he caught sight of Yoonwol’s colorful garments at the end of the corridor. Jaejoong made his way to her, and as soon as he was at her side, she began to lead him out into the courtyard.
As soon as they were distant from any of the palace guards, Yoonwol edged closer to Jaejoong and whispered, “You are moving too slowly,” she chided, “You have been glued to his side for two weeks now, and you have not even progressed into the deeper stages of a relationship.”
“I do not feel it is appropriate -“
“Appropriate?” Yoonwol glanced up at Jaejoong irritably before she looked away, “You are not seeing him out of love, and you need not feel reserved. What you are doing is a duty, and what you feel about the situation is not as important as your task.”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and avoided stepping on her skirt as they made their way through the palace, “What would you advise for me to do then?”
“Have you never been intimate with anyone?”
The answer to her question was silence, and she huffed irritably, “Provide a situation that shall allow for both of you to be alone. If you wish, you may try to get the man drunk so he may lose his inhibitions. As you know nothing about intimacy, let him lead you and respond to whatever it is that he wants from you. Even if what he does is not pleasurable, make him believe otherwise. Do you understand?”
Jaejoong nodded, “I understand.”
“It is too late in the event for you to attempt seducing him tonight,” Yoonwol explained as they made their way out of the palace, “Tomorrow night, when he asks why you never returned to the event say that you did not feel well.”
An idea formulated in Jaejoong’s head, and he nodded, “I see. You need not worry over me any longer Yoonwol. I know what it is that I have to do now.”
o-o-o
“Why did you not return to the event last night?”
Jaejoong bowed his head apologetically and poured Yunho more soju. When he placed the bottle back onto the table, he smiled tiredly, “I did not feel well.”
Yunho frowned worriedly, and Jaejoong felt a twinge of guilt. The other man reached out and touched his forehead in concern, “How do you feel now?”
“I think I feel better,” Jaejoong replied airily, feigning illness. He let out a couple of uneasy breaths and smiled at Yunho once again, “I would very much like to rest, but I have to oversee the gisaengs and make sure that their training is being applied to -“
“I think you need to rest.”
Jaejoong shook his head, “Where I live is quite far from the palace, I do not think that it would be wise for me to return home so early without -“
“Would you like to rest in my home? It is within the palace grounds,” Yunho suggested as he gently ran his fingers through the dark length of Jaejoong’s hair, “You may rest for a few minutes there before returning here. I assure you, the distance is not too far to be troublesome for you.”
Jajeoong hid his pleased smile by looking down at the ground. He allowed for a few seconds to pass before he lifted his head and looked at Yunho hesitantly, “I would not like to inconvenience you -“
Yunho shook his head, “It would be of no inconvenience to me at all.” He stood up and held his hand out for Jaejoong to hold onto, “Come, I shall show you where I live.”
Jaejoong blushed slightly when he took hold of Yunho’s hand and as soon as Yunho tightened the grip he had on him, his heart pounded faster in his chest. He rose to his feet shakily, distracted by what was going on, but as soon as he saw Yoonwol smiling at him in approval, he felt his unusual state of happiness diminish.
He let go of Yunho’s hand as soon as he was steady on his feet. Jaejoong swallowed hard and kept his eyes focused downward as he followed Yunho. His heart was drumming in his chest, and he felt uneasy at the thought of what was to come. Although he’d tried to assume an air of confidence about the whole situation, he was still scared.
“Is something wrong? Do you feel -“
Jaejoong shook his head mutely, and Yunho looked at him in concern but said nothing. They walked in silence through the courtyard, and as soon as they reached Yunho’s humble abode, Jaejoong stiffened. He watched as Yunho slid the door open, and the moment Jaejoong was inside the room as well, he felt a shiver run up his spine.
He drifted away from Yunho to look around the room, and when he was observing an ornamental sword perched on the wall, the other man spoke.
“You’re not sick, are you?”
Jaejoong stiffened, and he waited for Yunho to continue speaking, but he didn’t. He did not turn his head in fear of what Yunho’s question would be, and he didn’t trust himself to be a talented enough actor, so he kept his eyes focused on the sword in front of him when he answered, “I did not lie to you -“
A hand settled at his waist, and Jaejoong inhaled sharply as he felt Yunho draw him closer to his body. He felt the warmth of Yunho’s breath ghost against the skin of his neck, and his heart beat wildly in his chest.
“Seeing as you have spent so much time around gisaengs, I can’t say that I am surprised that you have adopted some of their tricks in charming men,” Yunho whispered as his wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s waist. His lips brushed against the exposed skin of Jaejoong’s neck, and he paused, “Am I alarming you?”
“Not at all,” Jaejoong breathed out, his voice barely audible.
Yunho pressed his lips against the back of Jaejoong’s ear, “Have you ever been with a man?” he whispered. “Does my touch disgust you?”
Jaejoong swallowed hard and replied, “Your touches are not unpleasant, and…you have the honor to be the first to have touched me in this way.” His eyes fluttered shut when he felt Yunho’s tongue move across his sensitive skin, and his knees grew weak.
“It is the first time that I have desired anyone as much as I long for you,” Yunho murmured as he began to untie Jaejoong’s durumagi. He pulled at the fabric and with minor assistance from Jaejoong, the fabric fell to the floor.
Shivers ran up Jaejoong’s spine, and he said nothing as he felt Yunho brush back his long curtain of hair so that he could continue kissing his neck. He tilted his head in order to bare more of his skin to Yunho, and the other man quickly moved his mouth over to claim more of his untouched porcelain skin.
A moan escaped Jaejoong’s lips, and he blushed in embarrassment. He felt intoxicated by Yunho’s touches, and he could do nothing but stand still as Yunho began to undress him. He shivered when his jeogori was pulled off, and just as he was about to speak, Yunho turned him around in order for their eyes to meet.
Jaejoong stared into Yunho’s lust darkened eyes and felt the words he had meant to say die at the tip of his tongue. They stared at each other questioningly for a few seconds before Yunho leaned down to kiss him. The feeling was unusual for Jaejoong, and as he felt Yunho’s tongue brush against his lips, he was unsure of what do to next. He hesitantly opened his mouth, and when Yunho’s tongue wrapped around his, he moaned into Yunho’s mouth and impulsively reached forward to grasp at the other man.
He could begin to feel the stirrings of his arousal, and his mind was being clouded by the pleasure that he was feeling. Jaejoong cupped Yunho’s face to bring his mouth closer, and when they broke apart for air, Yunho looked noticeably pleased.
“This is much better than my first and last experience,” Yunho whispered as he ran his fingers through Jaejoong’s hair tenderly, “Awkward kisses shared between awkward young men does not make for a romantic love story.”
Jaejoong’s eyes widened at the mention of love, but before he could mull over Yunho’s words, the man claimed his lips once again and his mind shut down. He slowly began to respond to Yunho’s slow and gentle kisses, and his stomach churned with an odd sensation.
When Yunho broke away from him again, Jaejoong licked his lips, and Yunho smiled at him charmingly.
“Did you enjoy that?” he questioned as his hands settled once again at Jaejoong’s waist.
Jaejoong blushed in embarrassment and nodded, “I did.” He felt conscious of the movements of Yunho’s hand, and when it neared his erection, he tried to move away, but Yunho’s hand kept him firmly in place. He raised his eyes to look up at Yunho in confusion, “Don’t touch me there.”
“Shush,” Yunho whispered calmly, “I am a man, and I know what it is you want.” His hands slowly pulled down the rest of Jaejoong’s clothes, allowing for the fabric to pool at his feet, “Do not be uneasy. I will not hurt you.”
He pressed a chaste kiss to Jaejoong’s lips before he knelt down. Jaejoong looked down at him worriedly, and his face heat up in embarrassment. He watched as Yunho’s mouth neared his erection, and he watched in rapt fascination as Yunho leaned forward to take the tip into his mouth and suck.
The pleasurable feeling of thrill and ecstasy were foreign to him, and Jaejoong was unsure of what to do except to moan in pleasure as Yunho took more of him into his mouth. To look down and watch his cock disappear into the other man’s mouth made him all the more aroused, so he chose instead to keep his eyes shut as Yunho pleasured him.
His moans and the sound of Yunho’s actions filled the room, and Jaejoong could feel himself losing to the new feelings of pleasure. His stomach tightened, and as Yunho began to speed up his actions, Jaejoong began to find it a bit more difficult to breathe. He reached forward to grasp at Yunho’s hair desperately, and as Yunho sped up, it was not much longer until the pressure was too much and he came into Yunho’s mouth.
Jaejoong moaned loudly and rode out his orgasm, panting heavily as Yunho swallowed most of what he had released. His heavy breathing filled the room, and he held onto Yunho for stability as he tried to regain his senses.
Yunho stood up, and Jaejoong felt himself once again heat up with embarrassment. He saw the liquid that had dried at the edge of the corner of Yunho’s mouth, and before he could even question his decision, he leaned forward it licked it off the other man’s face.
A pleased smile crossed Yunho’s face, and he kissed Jaejoong’s forehead before he walked away to retrieve a cloth for Jaejoong. He dampened it with a pitcher of water before he returned and gently cleaned the other man.
“What about you?” Jaejoong whispered.
Yunho pulled away and held the cloth in his hands, “I will be fine…for tonight.” He placed the cloth down onto the table and smiled, “Will I see you again tomorrow?” he asked.
Jaejoong began to dress, and he nodded, “I shall return.”
“Come back here then,” Yunho spoke as he moved away from Jaejoong to a distant corner of his room, “Do not linger at the event. I shall be here, waiting for you to arrive.” He looked at Jaejoong questioningly, “That is, if you wish for us to resume where we left off tonight.”
“I will come back,” he murmured before he quickly exited the room and made his way out of Yunho’s residence. He hastily made his way back to where the event was taking place, and as soon as he reached the area, the guests had already left.
Yoonwol stood up from where she was and walked over to him. Her eyes raked over his body, and she took note of his hastily dressed appearance.
“It seems you’ve made progress,” she commented bluntly, “That is good for us.”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, “He wishes to see me again tomorrow night in his residence, and I have promised that I would attend to his demand. I will not be accompanying you any longer while you perform.”
Yoonwol nodded slowly, and she bit the inside of her cheek for a few seconds before she spoke again, “Did he hurt you?”
“No, he did not. He was kind.”
“I see, well…I suggest you remember why it is that you are offering yourself up to him so that you never lose track of -“
Jaejoong felt a flash of anger, and he replied, “I am well aware of my duty. Do not think that I am foolish enough to lose track of my mission just because he is kind. I know what I have to do, and I will accomplish my task without compromising myself. He means nothing to me.”
Before Yoonwol could speak another word to him, Jaejoong turned away and left, filled with turbulent emotions that he could not settle until he was within his own home and within the comfort of solitude.
o-o-o
The first time they had sex was uncomfortable for Jaejoong, but Yunho was kind and patient. He’d whispered reassuring words as he took Jaejoong’s virginity. The second time they had sex was much better than the first, and before drifting off to sleep, Yunho had whispered how much Jaejoong had improved. The days had flown past since their first evening together, and Jaejoong was assured that he satisfied Yunho as a lover.
He admired Yunho’s sculpted body whenever they had sex, and he kissed Yunho back with equal fervor. It would be a lie for him to say that he did not enjoy having sex with Yunho for Yunho was a very talented lover, but it would also be a lie for him to say that he felt much of anything whenever Yunho held him.
When they lied together in bed and Yunho held him tight, all Jaejoong could think of was when Jinwoo would give him a task to do. Yoonwol was aware that he was constantly in Yunho’s company, and he trusted the gisaeng would relay to Jinwoo that his mission was going successfully. It was obvious from the way that Yunho held him that the other man’s feelings had grown in magnitude.
Jaejoong felt himself pity Yunho slightly, for although the man was a part of a regime that he loathed, he knew that Yunho was a good person. Although the current king was manipulative and greedy, he knew from firsthand experience that Yunho carried out his job dutifully and as best as he could.
Yunho was a man worth respect, and if perhaps, in another life, they were on the same side and not enemies, Jaejoong knew that he would’ve held Yunho in the highest regard.
He stared out into the darkness of the room and shifted in Yunho’s embrace. Whenever he spent the night with the other man, he never slept much. His mind wandered, and he was constantly on guard. While he knew that Yunho was beginning to trust him, he could not bring himself to trust Yunho.
No matter what, Yunho was still part of the enemy.
“You’re not asleep,” Yunho whispered as he slowly drew Jaejoong closer. He pressed a soft kiss behind Jaejoong’s ear and ran his fingers through the inky strands of Jaejoong’s hair, “Is something the matter?”
Jaejoong moved slightly to put space between him and Yunho, “No, nothing is wrong.”
“How long have you been awake?” Yunho questioned softly, his tiredness evident in his voice as he ran his hand up and down Jaejoong’s side comfortingly.
“I don’t know,” Jaejoong replied honestly.
Before he could say something else, Yunho turned him over. They faced one another in the darkness of the room, but thanks to the candle that was close to them, Jaejoong could faintly make out the features of Yunho’s handsome face. His eyes trailed up the faint scar under Yunho’s left eye until he met the other’s eyes.
Yunho smiled warmly and once again ran his fingers through Jaejoong’s hair soothingly. He said nothing until after a few seconds had passed, “Is there something you would like to talk about?” he questioned.
Jaejoong shook his head, “No, nothing at all.”
“I see,” Yunho whispered before he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss against Jaejoong’s forehead. He cupped Jaejoong’s face with one hand and slowly caressed Jaejoong’s face with his thumb, “You are so beautiful.”
Yunho’s compliment made Jaejoong feel uneasy, and he merely forced a smile and a thank you in response. To be honest, Jaejoong had no clue why Yunho was so kind to him. Was it just because of his attraction to him? He knew that was kind to Yunho because he needed the other man’s trust, but what did Yunho have to gain from him?
Or more importantly, what did he have to give Yunho? Did Yunho expect something more than sex from him? Jaejoong studied Yunho carefully, but the man’s face betrayed nothing aside from a calm afterglow.
“You look troubled,” Yunho observed, “Are you sure that nothing is wrong -“
There was sharp knock against the frame of the door, and Yunho sat up immediately. Jaejoong caught sight of a silhouette at the door, and he pulled up the bed sheets as he watched Yunho stand up and dress quickly. As soon as Yunho was modest, he slid the door open slightly.
“What is it?”
“The king wishes to see you on matters regarding an increase in security,” the guard explained seriously, “He apologizes for disturbing your slumber, but he says it is of utmost priority that you meet with him.”
“I understand,” Yunho said, “I shall be there soon.”
He slid the door shut and looked at Jaejoong, who was watching him carefully from the bed. He walked over to the younger man and kissed him softly before standing up and heading to his dresser to change.
Jaejoong was unmoving as he watched Yunho dress, and as soon as the palace guard was in his uniform, he turned around to look at Jaejoong.
“I hate to leave you when you seem so troubled,” Yunho murmured, “But I must attend to my duty to the king. Perhaps if you sleep, you shall find comfort from whatever it is that ails you.”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, and Yunho shot him a small smile before he exited the room. As soon as he was gone, Jaejoong stood up. It was the first time he’d ever been alone in Yunho’s room before, so he quickly used the opportunity to his advantage.
He moved to the corner where he often watched Yunho work late at night, and he rifled through the documents in search of anything interesting. Most of them were schedules for guard duty, so Jaejoong quickly read through each document. He tried finding a map of the palace, but he was unable to find one.
As he neared the end of the pile, he stopped when his eyes skimmed over a document that seemed to be out of place with the other ones. It was a request for a meeting, and Jaejoong read through it before quickly placing it back where he had found it. As soon as he was done taking note of each document, he fixed everything and placed it back in its original order before returning to bed.
He finally managed to fall asleep, but when he heard the door slide open, Jaejoong felt himself wake up somewhat. His mind was still in the blurry stage between sleep and consciousness, so he barely registered Yunho slipping back into bed next to him.
His body impulsively leaned into Yunho’s embrace, and just as Jaejoong was about to slip back into unconsciousness, Yunho whispered into his ear.
“I love you.”
Jaejoong’s eyes snapped open, and he froze. He felt his stomach churn with guilt, especially after what he’d just done, but he kept his breathing calm in order for Yunho to not realize that he had suddenly woken up. His heart pounded in his chest, and as soon as Yunho’s soft snores began to fill the room, the three words he’d just heard refused to stop ringing in his ears, and he was unable to fall back into sleep for the rest of the evening.
>
Author’s Note: Thank you so much to Sara for allowing me to post her art! I do not want the art being spread around, and please, do not tamper with it in any way. I actually finished this sometime ago, but I only got it finished (in terms of beta-ing) just recently. ^__^ I also have some other updates, so whoooo~ for that. Hahaha. Oh yes, in case any of you are wondering, the title means Lies of the Tongue, Truths of the Heart, and was translated by my beta. <3 Stay safe everyone, and thank you for reading & commenting! ♥