Someday [7]
Title: Someday
Beta: ohmahgodsun
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Humor, Drama
Summary: They were two souls meant to teach each other about how to love, and most importantly, how to live.
Birthday story for freakybiatch ♥
Their fingers were intertwined and Jaejoong didn’t want to move away. He stared at Yunho, the sunlight illuminating the other’s face with a heavenly glow. He squeezed the other man’s hand a little tighter and watched Yunho’s eyes flutter open.
Yunho blinked at him sleepily a few times until he was fully awake and reached out to stroke Jaejoong’s hair, “You have to go…right?”
“Right,” Jaejoong whispered, “It’s Monday…I have class.”
“I understand,” Yunho murmured tiredly, “This weekend was fun, wasn’t it?” he asked softly, his voice gentle and kind.
Jaejoong nodded and didn’t move away. They’d spent most of the weekend in Yunho’s apartment, but he’d also met Yunho’s bandmates. He’d been happy to discover that Changmin was actually much nicer than he’d thought, and it’d made him feel a strange sort of acceptance to know that Yunho’s bandmates liked him.
He was so happy but knowing that he had to return to his usual routine made joyful aura slowly fade away. His heart clenched tightly in his chest at the thought of going back to his daily life. His body felt instantly heavier.
Reality was crashing against him in wave after wave of emotions and Jaejoong felt his heartbeat quicken with unease. Things had taken such a sharp turn in such little time and Jaejoong felt guilty.
“I don’t want to go,” Jaejoong admitted as he looked at Yunho, hoping for approval to stay. “I hate it there. I…I don’t want to be there anymore.”
Yunho’s eyes were lit up with concern and a frown deepened on his handsome face as he studied Jaejoong, “And what do you want to do instead?” he questioned, his voice steady and non-judging.
“I don’t know.”
Silence fell between them and Yunho sighed softly. He reached out, Jaejoong willingly slipped further into his embrace, “It’s okay to not know.”
“I’m scared,” Jaejoong whispered into Yunho’s skin. His mother came to mind immediately and his heart clenched in pain as his nails dug into Yunho’s skin deeper for comfort, “I’m scared of -“
“It’s okay.”
Yunho kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his face and Jaejoong didn’t know how he could ever leave. His heartbeat steadied, his fears subsided and when Yunho pulled back from him to look into his eyes, he was sure that he’d never felt so secure before.
“It’s okay to not know what you want,” Yunho assured him, his voice steady and his grip firm, “But before…before you tell your mother, you should know what you want. Okay?”
Jaejoong nodded, “Okay.”
Once again, a blanket of silence came upon them, but it wasn’t as carefree as the previous one. Despite Yunho’s comforting aura, Jaejoong’s stomach churned with the guilt caused by the confession of his fears to Yunho and he couldn’t help but feel that he’d just given the other man an unnecessary burden. Jaejoong breathed in and out softly, and as soon as he’d gathered his thoughts, he met Yunho’s eyes once more.
“I should go.”
A look of worry crossed on Yunho’s face, “Are you okay?”
“I was supposed to go awhile ago anyway,” Jaejoong muttered hastily as he slipped out of Yunho’s embrace and picked up his clothes. As soon as had gotten dressed, he looked back at Yunho, who was sitting up on the bed.
He felt like saying something - something that could alleviate Yunho’s worries and chase away his fears, but he didn’t know what to say. His guilt flooded his senses by the second, and the longer Yunho looked at him, the guiltier he began to feel.
“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong mumbled before he stepped out of the room and fled.
o-o-o
He was sitting in accounting class, his mind barely processing the figures on the slideshow, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Ignoring the fact that his professor didn’t approve of people using their phones in class, he opened the textfrom his mother.
Honey, let’s meet at that café by your apartment at two this afternoon.
The whole day was continuing to shatter the perfection of his weekend, and Jaejoong gripped his phone tightly before he shoved it into his pocket. He looked back up at the slides and stared at the numbers that were just as meaningless as they had been an hour earlier.
He gripped his pen tightly, but when he looked down at his notebook to write something, he couldn’t write anything. Not bothering to stick around for any longer, Jaejoong packed his things and walked out of class.
o-o-o
Five minutes after he’d sat down, his mother smiled widely and clasped her hands together.
“I was thinking of getting you a car. You’ve been so busy studying -“
Jaejoong sat mutely and stared at his coffee, watching the dark liquid cool right in front of his eyes. His mother’s words fell on deaf ears, and he didn’t know what to say to her. He was tired, he was confused, he was guilty - hell, he didn’t even know what he felt exactly.
“Jaejoong, honey, are you listening to me?”
His eyes snapped up and as he looked at his mother, he felt all his anger and frustrations come to a boiling point. Perhaps it was unfair for him to want to blame her for all the difficulties he’d been encountering, but it had always been unfair of her to place such harsh expectations upon him.
“No, I’m not,” he answered lifelessly, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could hold them back.
A look of surprise appeared on Yeonhee’s face, and she stared at him, “Are you alright? Jaejoong, you look unwell -“
“No mother, I’m not alright. I haven’t been alright in…” Jaejoong trailed off and shook his head. He swallowed hard and met her eyes once more, “Why are we here today?” he asked, “We’re living a lie mother…and I think we both know that.”
“What are you -“
“I’m failing some of my classes,” Jaejoong stated stiffly, “I’m failing…and I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of the bullshit, and I can’t do this any longer -“
“You can’t talk to me like this -“
Jaejoong got up from his seat and he looked down at his mother, “I can. I can talk to you like this. I’m an adult, and the words that are coming out of my mouth…you may not like them, but I have to say them. I quit mother. I’m not going back.”
Yeonhee gaped at him and Jaejoong stared down at her.
Realization dawned upon him and he realized that how impulsively he’d just acted. In a matter of minutes, he had told his mother off and had quit university. His mind was reeling and his senses were screaming at him to apologize - but his body refused to comply.
They stared at each other in shock until Jaejoong recovered first. He swallowed hard and before his mother could demand any more of him, he simply turned and left.
It seemed like running away had become his new talent.
o-o-o
There was no way that he would go to Yunho.
Jaejoong had wandered around for most of the day and despite the fact he knew Yunho would be willing to console him, he couldn’t go to the other man. Today was Yunho’s meeting with the music agency. He couldn’t fuck that up for the other man because he knew Yunho would come running if he needed help.
He had no one to turn to and he was spiraling further and further away from normalcy. It was no doubt a result of all his pent up frustrations, but as much as Jaejoong knew that he had to calm down, he couldn’t get his mind to settle down.
Eventually he decided to go back home. When Jaejoong opened the door, he nearly slammed into Junsu.
“Woah, Jaejoong -“
Seeing his best friend made all his suppressed guilt resurface. He felt terrible for not thinking of turning to Junsu and he didn’t know how he would be able to describe what he was feeling without breaking down.
“I’m a fuck up,” Jaejoong whispered, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He stared at Junsu for a reaction. His best friend looked at him, completely stunned, but before Jaejoong could run away again, Junsu pulled him into a hug.
Junsu held Jaejoong tightly and Jaejoong collapsed under the weight of his emotional stress, crying onto his best friend’s shoulder for comfort.
Perhaps Yunho was his new source of security and strength, but as Junsu led Jaejoong to his room and soothed away his worries with words of comfort and patience, Jaejoong held him a little tighter and remembered that he wasn’t as alone as he had believed.
o-o-o
After he’d settled down and had confessed everything to Junsu, they lied down on Jaejoong’s bed in silence. Jaejoong was still pressed closed to Junsu and Junsu tugged at Jaejoong’s hair absentmindedly.
“You should tell him,” Junsu whispered softly, his eyes nearly fluttering shut.
Jaejoong stared down at his hands and shook his head, “I don’t have to tell him everything,” he whispered, his own words feeling empty to his ears, “I’ll…he has so much to offer Junsu. If I tell him about what happened…”
“It’s not good to hide things.”
“I know,” Jaejoong mumbled, “I know…but, I can’t. I’ve fucked up my life. I can’t fuck up his…okay? I just can’t. I shouldn’t have even told you -“
“You should really shut up,” Junsu chided in an irritated tone as he jerked at one of Jaejoong’s hair strands to place emphasis on his point, “You’re not fucking up anyone’s life. Okay?”
“Okay,” Jaejoong whispered.
Junsu nudged Jaejoong, “Now go get your phone and call Yunho. You don’t have to tell him everything, but...you probably made him feel worried this morning. At least tell him that you might need his help soon.”
Jaejoong nodded weakly and left the room to call Yunho. He locked himself up in the bathroom and sat down on the cold tiled floor. He brought his knees to his chest and leaned against the door as he waited for Yunho to answer.
“Hello?” Yunho asked, the background noises at his end of the line nearly sounding him out. “Jaejoong?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” Jaejoong said softly, “I -“
“Baby! We got signed!” Yunho yelled happily on the other end of the line, “We fucking got signed! I’m so happy! I can’t believe this is real!”
Jaejoong fell silent, and his heart clenched in his chest despite how proud he felt for Yunho. His words died on the tip of his tongue, and the words he’d been planning to say completely evaporated.
“I’m so happy for you,” Jaejoong said truthfully, feeling like he was on the verge of tears again for no particular reason.
Yunho laughed happily, “Shit, I’m so fucking happy. I wish you could be here bunny, but I know you have school tomorrow,” his voice turned gentler, “By the way, are you okay now? I could come over and we could talk if you -“
Jaejoong shook his head and buried his face into his knees. He swallowed hard and controlled himself from sounding sad before he replied.
“No, don’t worry Yunho…I’m alright. Everything’s…okay.”
As Yunho began to talk to him about how the meeting had went, Jaejoong smiled in the dark and shut his eyes. He could hear the happiness in Yunho’s voice, and he was all the more sure that keeping silent was the right decision.
Jaejoong knew that if he mentioned his problems and worries, Yunho would push aside his own happiness to comfort and console him. Yunho would drop everything to be there for him, even if meant leaving his own happiness behind. Jaejoong realized he had to protect Yunho’s happiness the way Yunho protected his.
He didn’t want to keep weighing Yunho down with his troubles.
“Baby, are you still there?” Yunho asked.
Jaejoong shifted on his bed before he replied, “Yeah, I’m still here…Yunho, you should go celebrate with your friends now. I have to sleep anyway.”
Yunho sighed, “I wish you could be here…”
“Me too,” Jaejoong murmured, “But you don’t need me right now and I’m tired from school, so just have fun okay? Enjoy tonight. You deserve all the success you’ve been receiving lately.”
“I want to celebrate with you though,” Yunho insisted, “When can I see you again? What time do your classes start tomorrow?”
“…I have to go early for a project,” Jaejoong lied, not sure if he would be ready to see Yunho just yet, “but I’ll call you when I’m free, okay?”
Yunho huffed, “Fine, but I want to see you sometime this week. Can you promise me that? I want to see you more than anything right now.”
Jaejoong’s felt the familiar feeling of guilt rise once more, and he smiled sadly to himself, “Okay, I promise.”
< >
Author’s Note: Sorry! XD Drama again. :P Ilu all~! Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥
Beta: ohmahgodsun
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Humor, Drama
Summary: They were two souls meant to teach each other about how to love, and most importantly, how to live.
Birthday story for freakybiatch ♥
Their fingers were intertwined and Jaejoong didn’t want to move away. He stared at Yunho, the sunlight illuminating the other’s face with a heavenly glow. He squeezed the other man’s hand a little tighter and watched Yunho’s eyes flutter open.
Yunho blinked at him sleepily a few times until he was fully awake and reached out to stroke Jaejoong’s hair, “You have to go…right?”
“Right,” Jaejoong whispered, “It’s Monday…I have class.”
“I understand,” Yunho murmured tiredly, “This weekend was fun, wasn’t it?” he asked softly, his voice gentle and kind.
Jaejoong nodded and didn’t move away. They’d spent most of the weekend in Yunho’s apartment, but he’d also met Yunho’s bandmates. He’d been happy to discover that Changmin was actually much nicer than he’d thought, and it’d made him feel a strange sort of acceptance to know that Yunho’s bandmates liked him.
He was so happy but knowing that he had to return to his usual routine made joyful aura slowly fade away. His heart clenched tightly in his chest at the thought of going back to his daily life. His body felt instantly heavier.
Reality was crashing against him in wave after wave of emotions and Jaejoong felt his heartbeat quicken with unease. Things had taken such a sharp turn in such little time and Jaejoong felt guilty.
“I don’t want to go,” Jaejoong admitted as he looked at Yunho, hoping for approval to stay. “I hate it there. I…I don’t want to be there anymore.”
Yunho’s eyes were lit up with concern and a frown deepened on his handsome face as he studied Jaejoong, “And what do you want to do instead?” he questioned, his voice steady and non-judging.
“I don’t know.”
Silence fell between them and Yunho sighed softly. He reached out, Jaejoong willingly slipped further into his embrace, “It’s okay to not know.”
“I’m scared,” Jaejoong whispered into Yunho’s skin. His mother came to mind immediately and his heart clenched in pain as his nails dug into Yunho’s skin deeper for comfort, “I’m scared of -“
“It’s okay.”
Yunho kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his face and Jaejoong didn’t know how he could ever leave. His heartbeat steadied, his fears subsided and when Yunho pulled back from him to look into his eyes, he was sure that he’d never felt so secure before.
“It’s okay to not know what you want,” Yunho assured him, his voice steady and his grip firm, “But before…before you tell your mother, you should know what you want. Okay?”
Jaejoong nodded, “Okay.”
Once again, a blanket of silence came upon them, but it wasn’t as carefree as the previous one. Despite Yunho’s comforting aura, Jaejoong’s stomach churned with the guilt caused by the confession of his fears to Yunho and he couldn’t help but feel that he’d just given the other man an unnecessary burden. Jaejoong breathed in and out softly, and as soon as he’d gathered his thoughts, he met Yunho’s eyes once more.
“I should go.”
A look of worry crossed on Yunho’s face, “Are you okay?”
“I was supposed to go awhile ago anyway,” Jaejoong muttered hastily as he slipped out of Yunho’s embrace and picked up his clothes. As soon as had gotten dressed, he looked back at Yunho, who was sitting up on the bed.
He felt like saying something - something that could alleviate Yunho’s worries and chase away his fears, but he didn’t know what to say. His guilt flooded his senses by the second, and the longer Yunho looked at him, the guiltier he began to feel.
“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong mumbled before he stepped out of the room and fled.
o-o-o
He was sitting in accounting class, his mind barely processing the figures on the slideshow, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Ignoring the fact that his professor didn’t approve of people using their phones in class, he opened the textfrom his mother.
Honey, let’s meet at that café by your apartment at two this afternoon.
The whole day was continuing to shatter the perfection of his weekend, and Jaejoong gripped his phone tightly before he shoved it into his pocket. He looked back up at the slides and stared at the numbers that were just as meaningless as they had been an hour earlier.
He gripped his pen tightly, but when he looked down at his notebook to write something, he couldn’t write anything. Not bothering to stick around for any longer, Jaejoong packed his things and walked out of class.
o-o-o
Five minutes after he’d sat down, his mother smiled widely and clasped her hands together.
“I was thinking of getting you a car. You’ve been so busy studying -“
Jaejoong sat mutely and stared at his coffee, watching the dark liquid cool right in front of his eyes. His mother’s words fell on deaf ears, and he didn’t know what to say to her. He was tired, he was confused, he was guilty - hell, he didn’t even know what he felt exactly.
“Jaejoong, honey, are you listening to me?”
His eyes snapped up and as he looked at his mother, he felt all his anger and frustrations come to a boiling point. Perhaps it was unfair for him to want to blame her for all the difficulties he’d been encountering, but it had always been unfair of her to place such harsh expectations upon him.
“No, I’m not,” he answered lifelessly, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could hold them back.
A look of surprise appeared on Yeonhee’s face, and she stared at him, “Are you alright? Jaejoong, you look unwell -“
“No mother, I’m not alright. I haven’t been alright in…” Jaejoong trailed off and shook his head. He swallowed hard and met her eyes once more, “Why are we here today?” he asked, “We’re living a lie mother…and I think we both know that.”
“What are you -“
“I’m failing some of my classes,” Jaejoong stated stiffly, “I’m failing…and I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of the bullshit, and I can’t do this any longer -“
“You can’t talk to me like this -“
Jaejoong got up from his seat and he looked down at his mother, “I can. I can talk to you like this. I’m an adult, and the words that are coming out of my mouth…you may not like them, but I have to say them. I quit mother. I’m not going back.”
Yeonhee gaped at him and Jaejoong stared down at her.
Realization dawned upon him and he realized that how impulsively he’d just acted. In a matter of minutes, he had told his mother off and had quit university. His mind was reeling and his senses were screaming at him to apologize - but his body refused to comply.
They stared at each other in shock until Jaejoong recovered first. He swallowed hard and before his mother could demand any more of him, he simply turned and left.
It seemed like running away had become his new talent.
o-o-o
There was no way that he would go to Yunho.
Jaejoong had wandered around for most of the day and despite the fact he knew Yunho would be willing to console him, he couldn’t go to the other man. Today was Yunho’s meeting with the music agency. He couldn’t fuck that up for the other man because he knew Yunho would come running if he needed help.
He had no one to turn to and he was spiraling further and further away from normalcy. It was no doubt a result of all his pent up frustrations, but as much as Jaejoong knew that he had to calm down, he couldn’t get his mind to settle down.
Eventually he decided to go back home. When Jaejoong opened the door, he nearly slammed into Junsu.
“Woah, Jaejoong -“
Seeing his best friend made all his suppressed guilt resurface. He felt terrible for not thinking of turning to Junsu and he didn’t know how he would be able to describe what he was feeling without breaking down.
“I’m a fuck up,” Jaejoong whispered, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He stared at Junsu for a reaction. His best friend looked at him, completely stunned, but before Jaejoong could run away again, Junsu pulled him into a hug.
Junsu held Jaejoong tightly and Jaejoong collapsed under the weight of his emotional stress, crying onto his best friend’s shoulder for comfort.
Perhaps Yunho was his new source of security and strength, but as Junsu led Jaejoong to his room and soothed away his worries with words of comfort and patience, Jaejoong held him a little tighter and remembered that he wasn’t as alone as he had believed.
o-o-o
After he’d settled down and had confessed everything to Junsu, they lied down on Jaejoong’s bed in silence. Jaejoong was still pressed closed to Junsu and Junsu tugged at Jaejoong’s hair absentmindedly.
“You should tell him,” Junsu whispered softly, his eyes nearly fluttering shut.
Jaejoong stared down at his hands and shook his head, “I don’t have to tell him everything,” he whispered, his own words feeling empty to his ears, “I’ll…he has so much to offer Junsu. If I tell him about what happened…”
“It’s not good to hide things.”
“I know,” Jaejoong mumbled, “I know…but, I can’t. I’ve fucked up my life. I can’t fuck up his…okay? I just can’t. I shouldn’t have even told you -“
“You should really shut up,” Junsu chided in an irritated tone as he jerked at one of Jaejoong’s hair strands to place emphasis on his point, “You’re not fucking up anyone’s life. Okay?”
“Okay,” Jaejoong whispered.
Junsu nudged Jaejoong, “Now go get your phone and call Yunho. You don’t have to tell him everything, but...you probably made him feel worried this morning. At least tell him that you might need his help soon.”
Jaejoong nodded weakly and left the room to call Yunho. He locked himself up in the bathroom and sat down on the cold tiled floor. He brought his knees to his chest and leaned against the door as he waited for Yunho to answer.
“Hello?” Yunho asked, the background noises at his end of the line nearly sounding him out. “Jaejoong?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” Jaejoong said softly, “I -“
“Baby! We got signed!” Yunho yelled happily on the other end of the line, “We fucking got signed! I’m so happy! I can’t believe this is real!”
Jaejoong fell silent, and his heart clenched in his chest despite how proud he felt for Yunho. His words died on the tip of his tongue, and the words he’d been planning to say completely evaporated.
“I’m so happy for you,” Jaejoong said truthfully, feeling like he was on the verge of tears again for no particular reason.
Yunho laughed happily, “Shit, I’m so fucking happy. I wish you could be here bunny, but I know you have school tomorrow,” his voice turned gentler, “By the way, are you okay now? I could come over and we could talk if you -“
Jaejoong shook his head and buried his face into his knees. He swallowed hard and controlled himself from sounding sad before he replied.
“No, don’t worry Yunho…I’m alright. Everything’s…okay.”
As Yunho began to talk to him about how the meeting had went, Jaejoong smiled in the dark and shut his eyes. He could hear the happiness in Yunho’s voice, and he was all the more sure that keeping silent was the right decision.
Jaejoong knew that if he mentioned his problems and worries, Yunho would push aside his own happiness to comfort and console him. Yunho would drop everything to be there for him, even if meant leaving his own happiness behind. Jaejoong realized he had to protect Yunho’s happiness the way Yunho protected his.
He didn’t want to keep weighing Yunho down with his troubles.
“Baby, are you still there?” Yunho asked.
Jaejoong shifted on his bed before he replied, “Yeah, I’m still here…Yunho, you should go celebrate with your friends now. I have to sleep anyway.”
Yunho sighed, “I wish you could be here…”
“Me too,” Jaejoong murmured, “But you don’t need me right now and I’m tired from school, so just have fun okay? Enjoy tonight. You deserve all the success you’ve been receiving lately.”
“I want to celebrate with you though,” Yunho insisted, “When can I see you again? What time do your classes start tomorrow?”
“…I have to go early for a project,” Jaejoong lied, not sure if he would be ready to see Yunho just yet, “but I’ll call you when I’m free, okay?”
Yunho huffed, “Fine, but I want to see you sometime this week. Can you promise me that? I want to see you more than anything right now.”
Jaejoong’s felt the familiar feeling of guilt rise once more, and he smiled sadly to himself, “Okay, I promise.”
< >
Author’s Note: Sorry! XD Drama again. :P Ilu all~! Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥