Promises [6/11]
Title: Promises
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, hints of Yoochun/Changmin
Rating: R
Genre: Romance, Action, Drama
Summary: As secrets came to light, Jaejoong saw his life falling apart to the point where he realizes he knows nothing and suspects everyone - even, Jung Yunho.
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Everything was blurred when Jaejoong opened his eyes. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but his tongue felt heavy and every single inch of his body felt like lead. He could barely bring himself to move and blinking was difficult enough of a task.
As he tried to familiarize himself with his surroundings, a face came into view and blocked out his view of the ceiling. The person was unfamiliar, and Jaejoong tried to get a better grasp of who the other man was, but things were still too vague.
“You’re awake.” The man noted before he disappeared from view, only to come back with a glass of water. “Are you thirsty?”
Jaejoong shook his head slightly, and the man set the glass back down onto the night table next to the bed. He could barely move as the man began to check on his body, and he could barely keep himself conscious - all of his senses called to him, luring him back to sleep, but at the same time, his mind refused to do so.
“Yunho’s going to come in,” the man explained as he fiddled with Jaejoong’s bandages and fixed them, “He’s wanted to see you for a while…” the man pulled away, “Anyway, I’ll let Yunho in now. Are you okay with that?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, and the man smiled at him before he walked out of the room.
Time passed by at such a snail like pace, but Jaejoong kept his gaze concentrated on the door, waiting for Yunho to come in. His throat felt dry, and his eyes momentarily turned toward the glass of water on the table, but he couldn’t bring himself to reach out and grab it because his arm still felt too heavy.
The sound of the door creaking was enough to pull him out of his state and to bring his gaze to the door.
Yunho opened the door slowly, and at the sight of Jaejoong, his eyes lowered shamefully. He walked over to the chair that the previous man had occupied and sat down. He licked his lips and swallowed hard, and Jaejoong could feel the other man’s strong sense of apprehension.
“I’m a coward.”
Jaejoong blinked in confusion, and Yunho looked away. The silence was unbearable, and it took a few more seconds before Yunho spoke again, this time his eyes meeting Jaejoong’s.
“I’m telling you this because I’m afraid - afraid of what you have to say.” Yunho clasped his hands together nervously, “I’m here now though, so there’s no turning back.” He smiled weakly at Jaejoong, “I’ve always liked you.”
Jaejoong opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but Yunho placed a finger over his lips, a sign for him to keep quiet and listen, so Jaejoong closed his mouth.
“It…it might’ve been a surprise for you to see me that night - to see me barge in and just save you like that.” Yunho swallowed, “I’d known for months that there was a plan to kill you…but it was only on that night that I had gathered the courage to go against the plan, and I’ve never regretted that decision since.”
“Of course, each action has repercussions - and I got mine.” Yunho chuckled bitterly and ran a hand through his hair once more anxiously. “You saw the punishment I got for saving you - the wounds. I ran away, and in my desperate state, I thought that I should see you - that I should see you one last time because I was sure that I’d be dead before sunrise.”
Yunho lowered his gaze and Jaejoong noticed that the Yunho’s hands were shaking. It took a while for him to speak again, and Jaejoong felt helpless, just watching him and waiting for him to continue, the after effects of the drugs still afflicting him.
“You might be wondering…why I would use my last hours on Earth to look for you, but the answer is simple.” Yunho said softly and his voice dropped even lower in volume when he spoke again, “It’s because I love you - and have loved you, painfully so, for the last few years.”
“I’m so stupid Jaejoong, and I’m so sorry, because it’s my fault that so much has gone wrong in your life. Anything done to you was done because the syndicate wanted to hurt me, to punish me for going against them.” Yunho looked up and his eyes were watery and filled with guilt, “If I hadn’t gone to your apartment that night, if I hadn’t fallen in love with you…you would never have gotten pulled into this. Everything is my fault, but please understand that I couldn’t let you die that night.”
Tears escaped Yunho’s eyes, but he quickly brushed them away before they could fall any further than his cheeks. “Everything regarding your family has been settled. I’ve reconfirmed my loyalty to the syndicate, and no one is after any of you anymore, so it’s time I let you go.”
Yunho stood up, “Don’t bother looking for me, because I’m leaving the country. I won’t be coming back any time soon. I’ll have your money returned to you, and I’ll make sure you’re protected for a few more months by people who owe me favors.”
He walked away, and as soon as he was at the door, Yunho paused. He turned his head and looked back at Jaejoong, his eyes lingering on him. He swallowed hard and cast his gaze down onto the floor, “I want…I want you to be happy.” Yunho raised his eyes and shot Jaejoong one last look, “Goodbye.”
Yunho shut the door, and missed the words Jaejoong had managed to choke out at the last second before he succumbed to the effects of the drugs in his system.
“Don’t go.”
o-o-o
When Jaejoong woke up, it was night. The curtains in the room were tied back, allowing Jaejoong to glimpse out the glass pane and see the dark that covered the city and the stars that illuminated the sky.
His body felt lighter before, and he sat up with his ease. Although his mind was still quite fuzzy, Yunho’s words resonated in his ears.
I love you.
Before he could even begin to calculate the depth of Yunho’s feelings, the door creaked open and the man from earlier stepped inside. He looked at Jaejoong cautiously and kept a distance between the bed and himself.
“How are you feeling?” the man asked, tucking his hands into the pockets of the red sweater he was wearing, “Are you feeling nauseous, sick, or lethargic?”
Jaejoong shook his head and glanced at the door, “Is…”
“Yunho?” the man questioned gently as he sat down on the bed, resulting in it creaking softly as he placed his weight on the mattress. “He left.”
“How’s Changmin?” Jaejoong asked, deciding to push his thoughts of Yunho aside for some other time. He watched the other man carefully, anticipating any sort of facial reaction that would give away what had happened to the younger man. “Is he okay?”
A serious look crossed the man’s features, and he looked down. “He’s in the hospital.” He murmured quietly, “I…I couldn’t take care of his injuries here, so they had him brought to a hospital. I don’t know how he is now.”
“It’s my fault.” Jaejoong whispered, “He was just -“
“It’s not your fault.” The man said with a reassuring smile. He reached out and held Jaejoong’s hand tightly, “Don’t feel guilty about what happened…Changmin, he knows what he got himself into, and…it’s part of the job.”
“But -“
“Everyone has their reasons for getting involved.” The man cut in before he glanced at the aged clock on the wall, “I have to give you something to eat.” He got up off the bed and began to walk away, “Are you strong enough to stand, or should I bring you food here?”
“I want to get out of bed.” Jaejoong replied, “I’ll be able to stand.” He swung his legs off to the edge of the bed and found his footing, “I can do it.”
“Okay then.”
The man turned around, but just as he was about to slip out of the room, Jaejoong called for him to turn back around and face him. The man raised an eyebrow and looked at Jaejoong, “Do you need me to help you?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “No, I don’t.” he slowly got off the bed, “I just wanted to ask you something.”
“What?” the man asked, leaning against the doorway. “If it’s something about Yunho, I really don’t know what I can tell you about him, since I know close to nothing.”
“No, it’s not that.” Jaejoong stood up properly and pulled himself up to his full height. He looked at the other man in the eyes, “You know my name, but I don’t know yours. I would at least like to know that, so if you don’t mind, could you please tell me your name?”
The man laughed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I forgot to introduce myself.” He walked back to Jaejoong and held out his hand for him to shake, “I’m Park Yoochun.”
o-o-o
Yoochun’s cooking was nothing less than terrible.
Jaejoong forced down what he presumed to be porridge, but ended up gagging on the poor taste. He put his spoon down, and glanced at Yoochun, who seemed to be hiding an amused smile behind his mug of coffee.
“This tastes like shit.” Jaejoong muttered crudely as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and spat what was left of his mouth into it as well, “How can you survive off your own cooking?”
“I usually order food.” Yoochun replied with a smile as he took away the bowl and dumped it into the sink, “But I don’t have any cash right now, so I was forced to make due, and I had to feed you something.”
“If I’d eaten more of that, you would’ve given me food poisoning.” Jaejoong snapped irritably as he took a big gulp of water, “You then would have had to suffer taking care of me for an even longer amount of time.”
“I’m sorry.” Yoochun returned to his seat across Jaejoong and placed down a mug of coffee, “I’m good at making coffee, so you don’t have to worry about getting poisoned from this, unless your high class taste can’t settle for cheap local coffee.”
“I’m not picky.” Jaejoong mumbled as he accepted the warm cup of coffee from the other man and kept his hands close to it, enjoying the warmth it sent across his skin. “I don’t need expensive things to survive.”
Yoochun rested his face against the palm of his hand and stared at Jaejoong curiously, observing the latter carefully. “You know, you’re much prettier than I thought you would be. I mean…I’ve heard from Changmin, about how good looking you are, but you really…are something else, aren’t you?”
Jaejoong shrugged, “Thanks, I guess.”
“I can see why Yunho has a thing for you. You look like his type.” Yoochun continued, bringing a topic up that caught Jaejoong’s interest immediately. “I mean, look at you.”
Jaejoong frowned, “I don’t really…I don’t get what you mean.”
“Yunho’s always liked beautiful things.” Yoochun replied casually as he stirred his coffee idly, “He’s also always had a thing for…well, I don’t know. There’s just something about you that radiates…innocence?”
“Innocence.” Jaejoong replied dully, “Are you saying that Yunho -“
“I don’t know with him, but there’s just something about you that I know Yunho would be attracted to.” Yoochun cut in before he chuckled, “But…you two are over now, I presume?”
Jaejoong slunk into his seat and nodded, “Yes, we are.”
“Well, things are better for you this way.” Yoochun leaned back into his chair and stared at Jaejoong, “You have a company to take over, and I really don’t think you and Yunho would’ve worked out unless you fully devoted yourself to him.”
Jaejoong said nothing and stared at the depths of his coffee. He clutched the mug a little tighter, “I…” he looked up at Yoochun, “I need you to explain things to me. I need to understand Yunho better.”
Yoochun frowned, “You two are over. There’s no point in me explaining anything to you further. Just…let go of things, okay Jaejoong?” he stood up, “No need to clean anything when you’re done. Just go back to bed.”
“Why am I still here?” Jaejoong asked quietly, “Why didn’t Yunho just send me to some hospital and send me off on my way? Why does he want me to stay with you until I get better?”
Yoochun sighed, “We couldn’t just send you to a hospital injured - people would ask questions. As for why Yunho left you with me specifically, I would say that’s because he trusts me to take care of you.”
“He doesn’t trust anyone else?”
“With you, of course not.” Yoochun replied, “You’ve experienced how people have used you and your family in order to get reactions out of Yunho. He won’t go around and just hand out the responsibility of taking care of you to just anyone.”
Jaejoong pulled his hands to his lap and stared down at them, “Please, I need you to explain things to me.”
“I can’t, I’m sorry Jaejoong.”
Yoochun left the room, and Jaejoong was once more left alone.
o-o-o
It seemed almost like Yoochun never left the confines of his apartment. Jaejoong was unsettled by how much time they spent together. He listened to Yoochun compose music, and on occasion, he even helped the other man.
As time passed by, it felt odd - like he was in some state of limbo.
“Yoochun…why haven’t you visited Changmin?” Jaejoong asked as he began to press piano keys and play a song he remembered being taught to him years ago. “From all the stories you’ve told me, the two of you seem rather close.”
Yoochun was silent for a moment, and Jaejoong glanced at him, wondering why the other man was taking so long to respond to his question. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking at Yoochun worriedly.
“I’m fine.” Yoochun replied before he plastered a smile back onto his face. He glanced down at Jaejoong’s hands, “Why did you stop playing? I liked that song you were playing a few moments ago -“
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Yoochun laughed, “I see, so my attempts at diversion didn’t work?” he smiled and began to pick up where Jaejoong had left off in the piece, “Well, Changmin is a proud person. He doesn’t like people seeing him hurt.”
“So he told you not to visit?” Jaejoong asked as he watched Yoochun’s hands play the piece expertly, “I never thought you’d be the kind of person to listen to requests like that.”
“I listen to Changmin sometimes.” Yoochun replied with a soft chuckle, “Besides, no one likes looking at their…at their best friend, in such a vulnerable position, right?”
Jaejoong lifted his gaze from Yoochun’s hands, and caught the wistful look on the other man’s face. He opened his mouth to say something about it, but as he was about to close his mouth and opt for silence, Yoochun turned his head and caught him.
“Do you have something to say?” Yoochun asked, his manner a little more serious than it had been previously. He studied Jaejoong, “You can be honest.”
“Are you and Changmin…?”
Yoochun turned his eyes back to the piano and resumed playing the piece they’d both abandoned, “It’s complicated.” He replied, with a tone of finality that completely closed any possibility of discussing the topic any further.
Jaejoong nodded and accepted Yoochun’s answer before he stood up and began to make his way to the guest room.
He could understand complicated relationships.
o-o-o
He woke up with a jolt.
Jaejoong rubbed his eyes tiredly and ran his hands through his hair, sighing loudly as he lied back down onto the bed. He was beginning to get restless, but at the same time, he’d grown used to living with Yoochun in the tiny apartment.
He was allowed to call his family regularly, and the business was still solely handled by his father, so even if he lived elsewhere, Jaejoong could only assume that he’d be equally restless. He rolled over onto his side and stared at the crack of light that slipped through the small space between the door of his room and the floor, before he reached over to grab his phone and check what time it was.
Jaejoong squinted in the darkness and frowned. It was barely three in the morning - what was Yoochun doing awake? He swung his legs off the bed and slowly walked to the door before he pressed himself against it to listen for any noise from the corridor. After he was sure that he’d heard nothing, Jaejoong opened the door and walked out of the room.
He glanced down both ends of the corridor and went in the direction from where the light was coming from. Jaejoong made sure to walk slowly and carefully in order to not make any noise, and as soon as he reached the kitchen, he paused and listened carefully for any more sounds.
“Yunho…” Yoochun’s distinct voice trailed off, and Jaejoong felt his breath catch in his throat at the sound of Yunho’s name. His heart began to beat ten times faster, and he gripped the door frame tightly, resisting the urge to make his presence known.
He waited, dying to hear Yunho’s voice after days of expected silence from the other man. However, instead of Yunho speaking, Yoochun continued speaking.
Jaejoong sighed softly and rested his head against the wood. It was just a phone call. Yunho hadn’t bothered to pay a personal visit. His heart clenched in his chest, but Jaejoong refused to leave - hopefully he would be able to catch something important from the conversation.
“Yeah, he’s still living with me.” Yoochun said, and the sound of a chair scraping against the floor was heard. “I know. I’m a bit surprised too. I had thought he would bolt the moment I told him that he was free to go.”
Jaejoong let out a quiet breath and edged closer to the door, hoping that Yoochun would move closer so that it would be easier for him to hear the other man’s conversation with Yunho.
“Changmin’s doing good?” There was a note of relief in Yoochun’s voice. “I’m…I’m really glad to hear that. Do you know when he’ll be out of the hospital?”
There was a lull of silence before Jaejoong heard the sound of approaching footsteps. He immediately looked around for a hiding spot and ducked away from the opening to the kitchen.
He glanced at the kitchen door, and Yoochun came out, so he ducked back into the coverage provided by the wall. He was blanketed by darkness, so Jaejoong was fairly sure that unless Yoochun stared at the spot he was in for a long time he wouldn’t be seen.
“You’re still here then? I see…so Kangshik won’t be taking charge of things while you’re away? I understand - you’ve managed to earn a bit of a reprieve then.”
Jaejoong bit his lip at the knowledge that Yunho was still in Korea and kept silent, eager to find out more. If Yoochun managed to say something even more detailed, then perhaps he could find some way to meet with Yunho.
Yoochun was silent, and Jaejoong felt a chill run up his spine. He blinked in the darkness, wondering if Yoochun had somehow discovered his presence in the corridor. He licked his lips anxiously and waited for a sign that he’d been discovered.
Jaejoong’s feelings of trepidation mounted with each passing second, and the silence was killing him. He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears, and his urge to run back inside his room was growing as time slipped by.
Fortunately, Yoochun began to speak before he bolted back to his room.
“Yunho, I know you want me to kick him out, but I can’t.” Jaejoong could hear Yoochun pacing across the floor, his footsteps resounding loudly throughout the corridor. “He doesn’t seem to want to leave, and I have more than a feeling that he’s waiting for you.”
Yoochun let out an irritated sigh, “…I understand. I just don’t think you should let things end like this. You’re being stupid - running away from everything. You’re not unworthy to want things Yunho, it’s a natural feeling.”
Jaejoong bit his lip even harder and eventually bit his lip so hard it bled, the coppery taste slipping onto his tongue. He moved closer, because he could hear barely hear the rest of Yoochun’s conversation, and stopped as soon as the words became clear enough for him to hear.
He was hung up on every single word that slipped from Yoochun’s mouth, and he waited anxiously for anything about Yunho. His heart beat quickly in his chest, and Jaejoong waited with a patience he didn’t know he possessed.
“…love?”
Jaejoong froze.
The word resounded in his ears, and began to unravel his composure. Why was it that he was so hung up on every word? Why did he care so much? Why couldn’t he just walk away and let Yunho be?
“Yunho, I don’t know anything about your relationship with Jaejoong.” Yoochun sighed loudly, “I don’t…I don’t know what he feels. He’s hard to read. I know he wants answers…but I don’t know if that’s the only reason why he stays.”
Jaejoong shut his eyes tightly and he swallowed hard, as realization dawned upon him and understanding crept even closer. He knew why Yunho’s departure affected him so much - all along, he’d always known.
He’d just been too afraid to admit it.
“There’s nothing wrong with loving him - you’re free to love.”
Jaejoongs sank down in the darkness and let his face fall in his hands.
He loved Yunho.
o-o-o
Yoochun wasn’t at home, so Jaejoong took matters into his own hands. He left his room with ease and snuck into Yoochun’s, determined to find something that would help him learn more about Yunho - but the room was a mess.
He tossed aside clothes, shoes, magazines, books, compositions even, yet he found nothing that would help him learn more about Yunho or how the syndicate worked. Not a single thing in Yoochun’s room was helpful, and Jaejoong felt himself on the edge of tears.
It was terrible, the pain that gripped his heart so painfully each waking second, and he’d never before felt such an insistent pain. The sudden intensity of his feelings of loss and abandonment were anything but normal, and Jaejoong could feel himself weakening mentally with each passing day.
Why hadn’t he realized how attached he’d grown to Yunho before?
It’d always been there - underlying feelings of attraction that he’d buried through the years in fear of what kind of secrets Jung Yunho hid. He’d put up a distance between the two of them because he’d felt like they wouldn’t work, and even before he’d known about Yunho’s lifestyle, he’d felt like Yunho was hiding something.
Yet despite the years he’d spent for prevention of anything happening between the two of them, the feelings had come pouring out anyway.
His heart throbbed painfully, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Yunho. Jaejoong felt so deprived, and he wanted nothing more but to see Yunho again. It was like a painful addiction, and Jaejoong knew that the longer Yunho was gone, the harder it would be for him to move on.
He needed to see Yunho again.
“Jaejoong, what the fuck…”
Jaejoong looked at Yoochun, who was standing in the doorway and staring at him in shock. Jaejoong said nothing and looked around Yoochun’s room - at least it was neater than it had been before.
Yoochun took a few steps closer before he paused, “You…you can’t just come into my room like this.” He muttered before he knelt down and took a photo album out of Jaejoong’s hands, “Jaejoong…”
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” Jaejoong whispered quietly, his eyes looking blankly away into the distance, “Yunho wouldn’t have left me with you if you weren’t part of the syndicate.”
Yoochun was silent for a moment, “Does it matter if I’m part of them or not?”
“It does matter.” Jaejoong murmured, “I want to know your reason.” He looked at Yoochun, his deep eyes staring into the other man’s questioningly. “I want to know why you joined.”
“This can’t wait for another day?” Yoochun asked as he moved closer and eventually knelt down next to him. “If I tell you about my story, that won’t you help learn anything about Yunho.”
“I know.” Jaejoong whispered, “But…”
“How about I talk to you about something else?” Yoochun suggested as he pulled Jaejoong up and began to lead him out of the room, “It’s a nice day outside, even though it’s rather cloudy. I’ll bring you somewhere, and then we can talk about something else.”
“I’m sick of being clueless.” Jaejoong pulled his arm away from Yoochun and looked at the other man helplessly, “Yunho told me that everything would be okay from now on, but are things really okay? I don’t…what about him? When will things be okay for him? He’s done so much for me, is there nothing I can do to pay him back? How can I just go back to pretending like I’m unaware of everything when I know that he isn’t okay?”
“Yunho’s strong -“
“His family is dead.” Jaejoong interrupted, “His best friend is in the hospital, and…I am sure that he’s lying to me again. I don’t believe that things would be resolved so easily. I’m not stupid, and I know that there’s something that he’s hiding.”
“I really don’t think you should be trying to force yourself in this Jaejoong.” Yoochun argued, taking a step closer, “Look, I understand that you feel indebted to Yunho, but know that he needs nothing from you. There’s nothing you can do that can help him right now, okay?”
“He asked me to be his partner.” Jaejoong replied defiantly, “Maybe I’m stupid because I refuse to run away in fear, but I don’t want to abandon him. You don’t know Yunho like I do and -“
“What do you really know about Yunho?” Yoochun questioned as he crossed his arms over his chest, “What has Yunho told you about anything? Jaejoong, please, get the hint. You can’t try to manipulate me with words here, or try to persuade me into telling you details about our organization. Yunho ordered me to tell you nothing, and so I shall tell you nothing.”
Jaejoong’s gaze was cold, and he turned away from Yoochun and began to make his way for the door. Yoochun called out to him, but he refused to listen.
“Jaejoong, where are you going -“
The last words of Yoochun’s sentence were cut off as soon as Jaejoong slammed the door shut.
o-o-o
He walked past doctors and made his way to the hospital room where Changmin was in. Although he had never been informed of which hospital Changmin was confined in, Jaejoong knew that Yunho’s family owned one hospital, so he’d gone with his instincts and had headed there first.
It hadn’t taken much to persuade a nurse to give him the information; all he’d had to do was ask. Jaejoong avoided looking at anyone for too long, and had bought a pair of sunglasses before going to the hospital in order to cover up his face - he didn’t need anyone asking about the reasons concerning his visit.
He slipped past people easily, and no one bothered to pay attention to him. All the people who worked in the hospital were more caught up with their own responsibilities, and didn’t bother to ask him about where he was going.
Jaejoong turned one last corner and slipped into Changmin’s room unnoticed.
The room was much simpler than his sisters’ rooms, and there were no get well presents aside from a teddy bear sitting on the night stand. Jaejoong shut the door behind him, and Changmin tore his eyes away from the television screen to acknowledge his presence.
“I didn’t expect a visit from you.” Changmin muttered as he sat up, wincing while doing so. “Well, now that you’re here, go get me some food from the canteen. I’m sick of what they’ve been feeding me. The only thing that’s good is the chocolate pudding.”
“Thank you.” Jaejoong said quietly, and Changmin merely stared at him blankly. Jaejoong bit his lip, “Thank you for saving me, I mean. It’s because of you that I’m alive, and it’s because of you that -“
“I’m in the hospital, I know.” Changmin replied as he took a glass of water off the night stand and took a sip, “I don’t hold any grudges though since it’s part of the job - besides, you don’t deserve all the -”
“I don’t understand this.” Jaejoong muttered as he balled his fists in frustration. He looked down at the ground before he snapped his eyes up and met Changmin’s questioning gaze, “I don’t understand why you all are so willing to keep going with this. What is it that you get from the syndicate?”
Changmin sighed and leaned back against his pillow. He turned off the television and kept his focus on Jaejoong, “It’s hard to explain, but I’m only in the syndicate for Yunho and for little else. He’s done so much for me and -“
“So you stay because of Yunho.” Jaejoong commented, watching Changmin carefully for any signs that his conclusion was wrong. Changmin nodded in agreement, so Jaejoong continued, “Then why does Yunho stay?”
Changmin shook his head, “I don’t know.” He broke his eye contact with Jaejoong briefly before he met the other’s eyes once more, “Jaejoong…there’s no point looking for answers now that Yunho has shut you out completely.”
Jaejoong made a noise of protest, but Changmin continued, “I understand, you want to help Yunho and you want your own revenge as well, but Jaejoong…” he sighed and shook his head, “There’s no point. Yunho’s on a path that you can’t join him on. He may have swerved off it initially, but -“
“I love him.”
A look of surprise crossed Changmin’s face, and he stared at Jaejoong in shock.
Jaejoong was clenching his fists so tightly that he could feel his nails digging into the skin of his palms. He swallowed hard and looked at Changmin, “I love him, so you have to help me -“
The door opened and Yoochun stumbled in. He let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Jaejoong and immediately shut the door as soon as he took a step inside the room. He glanced between the two other men, “Did he ask you for help regarding Yunho too?”
Changmin nodded, “He did.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” Jaejoong muttered, “I’m not stupid -“
“Oh, so you think you’re being smart right now?” Yoochun snapped, “Think about your decisions wisely Jaejoong. Do you think Yunho’s just in some sort of club? No, this is a vicious syndicate that is more than capable of doing damage when threatened. Yunho’s already put his life on the line for you once Jaejoong. Do you need him to do it again?”
“Are you saying that I should just let him go?” Jaejoong asked, whirling around to look at Yoochun in the eye. “That I should go back to pretending to be entertained with trivial matters when I know that so much is happening in the background?”
Yoochun’s lips formed a thin line, and his tiredness was obvious. “I’m not telling you to let go of him, I’m just encouraging you to wait. Like you said so yourself earlier, things probably aren’t settled yet. Why would you rush back to Yunho when there are still so many other things to deal with?”
“Now is not the time for you to permanently align yourself with Yunho.” Changmin added softly, “You’ll have to wait for some time to pass, and then I promise that I’ll find some way for you to meet Yunho again.”
Jaejoong was silent, and he looked away. “So what am I supposed to do until then?”
Yoochun and Changmin glanced at each other, and it was Changmin who spoke for the two of them, “Go back to your former life, and bury everything that you know about the syndicate until the time is right.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh and began to walk away, but he stopped in front of the door. “And how will I know when the time is right?” Jaejoong asked softly, his hand clasping the door knob tightly.
Changmin was silent for a few seconds before he answered. “There’ll be a sign.”
< >
Author’s Note: I LOVE YOU ALL. If you liked the chapter, please comment! DDD: I’m in a rush! Sorry, I usually leave better author’s notes, but askjadkj! Bye! XD ♥
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, hints of Yoochun/Changmin
Rating: R
Genre: Romance, Action, Drama
Summary: As secrets came to light, Jaejoong saw his life falling apart to the point where he realizes he knows nothing and suspects everyone - even, Jung Yunho.
banner made by godchild1134
Everything was blurred when Jaejoong opened his eyes. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but his tongue felt heavy and every single inch of his body felt like lead. He could barely bring himself to move and blinking was difficult enough of a task.
As he tried to familiarize himself with his surroundings, a face came into view and blocked out his view of the ceiling. The person was unfamiliar, and Jaejoong tried to get a better grasp of who the other man was, but things were still too vague.
“You’re awake.” The man noted before he disappeared from view, only to come back with a glass of water. “Are you thirsty?”
Jaejoong shook his head slightly, and the man set the glass back down onto the night table next to the bed. He could barely move as the man began to check on his body, and he could barely keep himself conscious - all of his senses called to him, luring him back to sleep, but at the same time, his mind refused to do so.
“Yunho’s going to come in,” the man explained as he fiddled with Jaejoong’s bandages and fixed them, “He’s wanted to see you for a while…” the man pulled away, “Anyway, I’ll let Yunho in now. Are you okay with that?”
Jaejoong nodded slowly, and the man smiled at him before he walked out of the room.
Time passed by at such a snail like pace, but Jaejoong kept his gaze concentrated on the door, waiting for Yunho to come in. His throat felt dry, and his eyes momentarily turned toward the glass of water on the table, but he couldn’t bring himself to reach out and grab it because his arm still felt too heavy.
The sound of the door creaking was enough to pull him out of his state and to bring his gaze to the door.
Yunho opened the door slowly, and at the sight of Jaejoong, his eyes lowered shamefully. He walked over to the chair that the previous man had occupied and sat down. He licked his lips and swallowed hard, and Jaejoong could feel the other man’s strong sense of apprehension.
“I’m a coward.”
Jaejoong blinked in confusion, and Yunho looked away. The silence was unbearable, and it took a few more seconds before Yunho spoke again, this time his eyes meeting Jaejoong’s.
“I’m telling you this because I’m afraid - afraid of what you have to say.” Yunho clasped his hands together nervously, “I’m here now though, so there’s no turning back.” He smiled weakly at Jaejoong, “I’ve always liked you.”
Jaejoong opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but Yunho placed a finger over his lips, a sign for him to keep quiet and listen, so Jaejoong closed his mouth.
“It…it might’ve been a surprise for you to see me that night - to see me barge in and just save you like that.” Yunho swallowed, “I’d known for months that there was a plan to kill you…but it was only on that night that I had gathered the courage to go against the plan, and I’ve never regretted that decision since.”
“Of course, each action has repercussions - and I got mine.” Yunho chuckled bitterly and ran a hand through his hair once more anxiously. “You saw the punishment I got for saving you - the wounds. I ran away, and in my desperate state, I thought that I should see you - that I should see you one last time because I was sure that I’d be dead before sunrise.”
Yunho lowered his gaze and Jaejoong noticed that the Yunho’s hands were shaking. It took a while for him to speak again, and Jaejoong felt helpless, just watching him and waiting for him to continue, the after effects of the drugs still afflicting him.
“You might be wondering…why I would use my last hours on Earth to look for you, but the answer is simple.” Yunho said softly and his voice dropped even lower in volume when he spoke again, “It’s because I love you - and have loved you, painfully so, for the last few years.”
“I’m so stupid Jaejoong, and I’m so sorry, because it’s my fault that so much has gone wrong in your life. Anything done to you was done because the syndicate wanted to hurt me, to punish me for going against them.” Yunho looked up and his eyes were watery and filled with guilt, “If I hadn’t gone to your apartment that night, if I hadn’t fallen in love with you…you would never have gotten pulled into this. Everything is my fault, but please understand that I couldn’t let you die that night.”
Tears escaped Yunho’s eyes, but he quickly brushed them away before they could fall any further than his cheeks. “Everything regarding your family has been settled. I’ve reconfirmed my loyalty to the syndicate, and no one is after any of you anymore, so it’s time I let you go.”
Yunho stood up, “Don’t bother looking for me, because I’m leaving the country. I won’t be coming back any time soon. I’ll have your money returned to you, and I’ll make sure you’re protected for a few more months by people who owe me favors.”
He walked away, and as soon as he was at the door, Yunho paused. He turned his head and looked back at Jaejoong, his eyes lingering on him. He swallowed hard and cast his gaze down onto the floor, “I want…I want you to be happy.” Yunho raised his eyes and shot Jaejoong one last look, “Goodbye.”
Yunho shut the door, and missed the words Jaejoong had managed to choke out at the last second before he succumbed to the effects of the drugs in his system.
“Don’t go.”
o-o-o
When Jaejoong woke up, it was night. The curtains in the room were tied back, allowing Jaejoong to glimpse out the glass pane and see the dark that covered the city and the stars that illuminated the sky.
His body felt lighter before, and he sat up with his ease. Although his mind was still quite fuzzy, Yunho’s words resonated in his ears.
I love you.
Before he could even begin to calculate the depth of Yunho’s feelings, the door creaked open and the man from earlier stepped inside. He looked at Jaejoong cautiously and kept a distance between the bed and himself.
“How are you feeling?” the man asked, tucking his hands into the pockets of the red sweater he was wearing, “Are you feeling nauseous, sick, or lethargic?”
Jaejoong shook his head and glanced at the door, “Is…”
“Yunho?” the man questioned gently as he sat down on the bed, resulting in it creaking softly as he placed his weight on the mattress. “He left.”
“How’s Changmin?” Jaejoong asked, deciding to push his thoughts of Yunho aside for some other time. He watched the other man carefully, anticipating any sort of facial reaction that would give away what had happened to the younger man. “Is he okay?”
A serious look crossed the man’s features, and he looked down. “He’s in the hospital.” He murmured quietly, “I…I couldn’t take care of his injuries here, so they had him brought to a hospital. I don’t know how he is now.”
“It’s my fault.” Jaejoong whispered, “He was just -“
“It’s not your fault.” The man said with a reassuring smile. He reached out and held Jaejoong’s hand tightly, “Don’t feel guilty about what happened…Changmin, he knows what he got himself into, and…it’s part of the job.”
“But -“
“Everyone has their reasons for getting involved.” The man cut in before he glanced at the aged clock on the wall, “I have to give you something to eat.” He got up off the bed and began to walk away, “Are you strong enough to stand, or should I bring you food here?”
“I want to get out of bed.” Jaejoong replied, “I’ll be able to stand.” He swung his legs off to the edge of the bed and found his footing, “I can do it.”
“Okay then.”
The man turned around, but just as he was about to slip out of the room, Jaejoong called for him to turn back around and face him. The man raised an eyebrow and looked at Jaejoong, “Do you need me to help you?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “No, I don’t.” he slowly got off the bed, “I just wanted to ask you something.”
“What?” the man asked, leaning against the doorway. “If it’s something about Yunho, I really don’t know what I can tell you about him, since I know close to nothing.”
“No, it’s not that.” Jaejoong stood up properly and pulled himself up to his full height. He looked at the other man in the eyes, “You know my name, but I don’t know yours. I would at least like to know that, so if you don’t mind, could you please tell me your name?”
The man laughed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I forgot to introduce myself.” He walked back to Jaejoong and held out his hand for him to shake, “I’m Park Yoochun.”
o-o-o
Yoochun’s cooking was nothing less than terrible.
Jaejoong forced down what he presumed to be porridge, but ended up gagging on the poor taste. He put his spoon down, and glanced at Yoochun, who seemed to be hiding an amused smile behind his mug of coffee.
“This tastes like shit.” Jaejoong muttered crudely as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and spat what was left of his mouth into it as well, “How can you survive off your own cooking?”
“I usually order food.” Yoochun replied with a smile as he took away the bowl and dumped it into the sink, “But I don’t have any cash right now, so I was forced to make due, and I had to feed you something.”
“If I’d eaten more of that, you would’ve given me food poisoning.” Jaejoong snapped irritably as he took a big gulp of water, “You then would have had to suffer taking care of me for an even longer amount of time.”
“I’m sorry.” Yoochun returned to his seat across Jaejoong and placed down a mug of coffee, “I’m good at making coffee, so you don’t have to worry about getting poisoned from this, unless your high class taste can’t settle for cheap local coffee.”
“I’m not picky.” Jaejoong mumbled as he accepted the warm cup of coffee from the other man and kept his hands close to it, enjoying the warmth it sent across his skin. “I don’t need expensive things to survive.”
Yoochun rested his face against the palm of his hand and stared at Jaejoong curiously, observing the latter carefully. “You know, you’re much prettier than I thought you would be. I mean…I’ve heard from Changmin, about how good looking you are, but you really…are something else, aren’t you?”
Jaejoong shrugged, “Thanks, I guess.”
“I can see why Yunho has a thing for you. You look like his type.” Yoochun continued, bringing a topic up that caught Jaejoong’s interest immediately. “I mean, look at you.”
Jaejoong frowned, “I don’t really…I don’t get what you mean.”
“Yunho’s always liked beautiful things.” Yoochun replied casually as he stirred his coffee idly, “He’s also always had a thing for…well, I don’t know. There’s just something about you that radiates…innocence?”
“Innocence.” Jaejoong replied dully, “Are you saying that Yunho -“
“I don’t know with him, but there’s just something about you that I know Yunho would be attracted to.” Yoochun cut in before he chuckled, “But…you two are over now, I presume?”
Jaejoong slunk into his seat and nodded, “Yes, we are.”
“Well, things are better for you this way.” Yoochun leaned back into his chair and stared at Jaejoong, “You have a company to take over, and I really don’t think you and Yunho would’ve worked out unless you fully devoted yourself to him.”
Jaejoong said nothing and stared at the depths of his coffee. He clutched the mug a little tighter, “I…” he looked up at Yoochun, “I need you to explain things to me. I need to understand Yunho better.”
Yoochun frowned, “You two are over. There’s no point in me explaining anything to you further. Just…let go of things, okay Jaejoong?” he stood up, “No need to clean anything when you’re done. Just go back to bed.”
“Why am I still here?” Jaejoong asked quietly, “Why didn’t Yunho just send me to some hospital and send me off on my way? Why does he want me to stay with you until I get better?”
Yoochun sighed, “We couldn’t just send you to a hospital injured - people would ask questions. As for why Yunho left you with me specifically, I would say that’s because he trusts me to take care of you.”
“He doesn’t trust anyone else?”
“With you, of course not.” Yoochun replied, “You’ve experienced how people have used you and your family in order to get reactions out of Yunho. He won’t go around and just hand out the responsibility of taking care of you to just anyone.”
Jaejoong pulled his hands to his lap and stared down at them, “Please, I need you to explain things to me.”
“I can’t, I’m sorry Jaejoong.”
Yoochun left the room, and Jaejoong was once more left alone.
o-o-o
It seemed almost like Yoochun never left the confines of his apartment. Jaejoong was unsettled by how much time they spent together. He listened to Yoochun compose music, and on occasion, he even helped the other man.
As time passed by, it felt odd - like he was in some state of limbo.
“Yoochun…why haven’t you visited Changmin?” Jaejoong asked as he began to press piano keys and play a song he remembered being taught to him years ago. “From all the stories you’ve told me, the two of you seem rather close.”
Yoochun was silent for a moment, and Jaejoong glanced at him, wondering why the other man was taking so long to respond to his question. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking at Yoochun worriedly.
“I’m fine.” Yoochun replied before he plastered a smile back onto his face. He glanced down at Jaejoong’s hands, “Why did you stop playing? I liked that song you were playing a few moments ago -“
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Yoochun laughed, “I see, so my attempts at diversion didn’t work?” he smiled and began to pick up where Jaejoong had left off in the piece, “Well, Changmin is a proud person. He doesn’t like people seeing him hurt.”
“So he told you not to visit?” Jaejoong asked as he watched Yoochun’s hands play the piece expertly, “I never thought you’d be the kind of person to listen to requests like that.”
“I listen to Changmin sometimes.” Yoochun replied with a soft chuckle, “Besides, no one likes looking at their…at their best friend, in such a vulnerable position, right?”
Jaejoong lifted his gaze from Yoochun’s hands, and caught the wistful look on the other man’s face. He opened his mouth to say something about it, but as he was about to close his mouth and opt for silence, Yoochun turned his head and caught him.
“Do you have something to say?” Yoochun asked, his manner a little more serious than it had been previously. He studied Jaejoong, “You can be honest.”
“Are you and Changmin…?”
Yoochun turned his eyes back to the piano and resumed playing the piece they’d both abandoned, “It’s complicated.” He replied, with a tone of finality that completely closed any possibility of discussing the topic any further.
Jaejoong nodded and accepted Yoochun’s answer before he stood up and began to make his way to the guest room.
He could understand complicated relationships.
o-o-o
He woke up with a jolt.
Jaejoong rubbed his eyes tiredly and ran his hands through his hair, sighing loudly as he lied back down onto the bed. He was beginning to get restless, but at the same time, he’d grown used to living with Yoochun in the tiny apartment.
He was allowed to call his family regularly, and the business was still solely handled by his father, so even if he lived elsewhere, Jaejoong could only assume that he’d be equally restless. He rolled over onto his side and stared at the crack of light that slipped through the small space between the door of his room and the floor, before he reached over to grab his phone and check what time it was.
Jaejoong squinted in the darkness and frowned. It was barely three in the morning - what was Yoochun doing awake? He swung his legs off the bed and slowly walked to the door before he pressed himself against it to listen for any noise from the corridor. After he was sure that he’d heard nothing, Jaejoong opened the door and walked out of the room.
He glanced down both ends of the corridor and went in the direction from where the light was coming from. Jaejoong made sure to walk slowly and carefully in order to not make any noise, and as soon as he reached the kitchen, he paused and listened carefully for any more sounds.
“Yunho…” Yoochun’s distinct voice trailed off, and Jaejoong felt his breath catch in his throat at the sound of Yunho’s name. His heart began to beat ten times faster, and he gripped the door frame tightly, resisting the urge to make his presence known.
He waited, dying to hear Yunho’s voice after days of expected silence from the other man. However, instead of Yunho speaking, Yoochun continued speaking.
Jaejoong sighed softly and rested his head against the wood. It was just a phone call. Yunho hadn’t bothered to pay a personal visit. His heart clenched in his chest, but Jaejoong refused to leave - hopefully he would be able to catch something important from the conversation.
“Yeah, he’s still living with me.” Yoochun said, and the sound of a chair scraping against the floor was heard. “I know. I’m a bit surprised too. I had thought he would bolt the moment I told him that he was free to go.”
Jaejoong let out a quiet breath and edged closer to the door, hoping that Yoochun would move closer so that it would be easier for him to hear the other man’s conversation with Yunho.
“Changmin’s doing good?” There was a note of relief in Yoochun’s voice. “I’m…I’m really glad to hear that. Do you know when he’ll be out of the hospital?”
There was a lull of silence before Jaejoong heard the sound of approaching footsteps. He immediately looked around for a hiding spot and ducked away from the opening to the kitchen.
He glanced at the kitchen door, and Yoochun came out, so he ducked back into the coverage provided by the wall. He was blanketed by darkness, so Jaejoong was fairly sure that unless Yoochun stared at the spot he was in for a long time he wouldn’t be seen.
“You’re still here then? I see…so Kangshik won’t be taking charge of things while you’re away? I understand - you’ve managed to earn a bit of a reprieve then.”
Jaejoong bit his lip at the knowledge that Yunho was still in Korea and kept silent, eager to find out more. If Yoochun managed to say something even more detailed, then perhaps he could find some way to meet with Yunho.
Yoochun was silent, and Jaejoong felt a chill run up his spine. He blinked in the darkness, wondering if Yoochun had somehow discovered his presence in the corridor. He licked his lips anxiously and waited for a sign that he’d been discovered.
Jaejoong’s feelings of trepidation mounted with each passing second, and the silence was killing him. He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears, and his urge to run back inside his room was growing as time slipped by.
Fortunately, Yoochun began to speak before he bolted back to his room.
“Yunho, I know you want me to kick him out, but I can’t.” Jaejoong could hear Yoochun pacing across the floor, his footsteps resounding loudly throughout the corridor. “He doesn’t seem to want to leave, and I have more than a feeling that he’s waiting for you.”
Yoochun let out an irritated sigh, “…I understand. I just don’t think you should let things end like this. You’re being stupid - running away from everything. You’re not unworthy to want things Yunho, it’s a natural feeling.”
Jaejoong bit his lip even harder and eventually bit his lip so hard it bled, the coppery taste slipping onto his tongue. He moved closer, because he could hear barely hear the rest of Yoochun’s conversation, and stopped as soon as the words became clear enough for him to hear.
He was hung up on every single word that slipped from Yoochun’s mouth, and he waited anxiously for anything about Yunho. His heart beat quickly in his chest, and Jaejoong waited with a patience he didn’t know he possessed.
“…love?”
Jaejoong froze.
The word resounded in his ears, and began to unravel his composure. Why was it that he was so hung up on every word? Why did he care so much? Why couldn’t he just walk away and let Yunho be?
“Yunho, I don’t know anything about your relationship with Jaejoong.” Yoochun sighed loudly, “I don’t…I don’t know what he feels. He’s hard to read. I know he wants answers…but I don’t know if that’s the only reason why he stays.”
Jaejoong shut his eyes tightly and he swallowed hard, as realization dawned upon him and understanding crept even closer. He knew why Yunho’s departure affected him so much - all along, he’d always known.
He’d just been too afraid to admit it.
“There’s nothing wrong with loving him - you’re free to love.”
Jaejoongs sank down in the darkness and let his face fall in his hands.
He loved Yunho.
o-o-o
Yoochun wasn’t at home, so Jaejoong took matters into his own hands. He left his room with ease and snuck into Yoochun’s, determined to find something that would help him learn more about Yunho - but the room was a mess.
He tossed aside clothes, shoes, magazines, books, compositions even, yet he found nothing that would help him learn more about Yunho or how the syndicate worked. Not a single thing in Yoochun’s room was helpful, and Jaejoong felt himself on the edge of tears.
It was terrible, the pain that gripped his heart so painfully each waking second, and he’d never before felt such an insistent pain. The sudden intensity of his feelings of loss and abandonment were anything but normal, and Jaejoong could feel himself weakening mentally with each passing day.
Why hadn’t he realized how attached he’d grown to Yunho before?
It’d always been there - underlying feelings of attraction that he’d buried through the years in fear of what kind of secrets Jung Yunho hid. He’d put up a distance between the two of them because he’d felt like they wouldn’t work, and even before he’d known about Yunho’s lifestyle, he’d felt like Yunho was hiding something.
Yet despite the years he’d spent for prevention of anything happening between the two of them, the feelings had come pouring out anyway.
His heart throbbed painfully, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Yunho. Jaejoong felt so deprived, and he wanted nothing more but to see Yunho again. It was like a painful addiction, and Jaejoong knew that the longer Yunho was gone, the harder it would be for him to move on.
He needed to see Yunho again.
“Jaejoong, what the fuck…”
Jaejoong looked at Yoochun, who was standing in the doorway and staring at him in shock. Jaejoong said nothing and looked around Yoochun’s room - at least it was neater than it had been before.
Yoochun took a few steps closer before he paused, “You…you can’t just come into my room like this.” He muttered before he knelt down and took a photo album out of Jaejoong’s hands, “Jaejoong…”
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” Jaejoong whispered quietly, his eyes looking blankly away into the distance, “Yunho wouldn’t have left me with you if you weren’t part of the syndicate.”
Yoochun was silent for a moment, “Does it matter if I’m part of them or not?”
“It does matter.” Jaejoong murmured, “I want to know your reason.” He looked at Yoochun, his deep eyes staring into the other man’s questioningly. “I want to know why you joined.”
“This can’t wait for another day?” Yoochun asked as he moved closer and eventually knelt down next to him. “If I tell you about my story, that won’t you help learn anything about Yunho.”
“I know.” Jaejoong whispered, “But…”
“How about I talk to you about something else?” Yoochun suggested as he pulled Jaejoong up and began to lead him out of the room, “It’s a nice day outside, even though it’s rather cloudy. I’ll bring you somewhere, and then we can talk about something else.”
“I’m sick of being clueless.” Jaejoong pulled his arm away from Yoochun and looked at the other man helplessly, “Yunho told me that everything would be okay from now on, but are things really okay? I don’t…what about him? When will things be okay for him? He’s done so much for me, is there nothing I can do to pay him back? How can I just go back to pretending like I’m unaware of everything when I know that he isn’t okay?”
“Yunho’s strong -“
“His family is dead.” Jaejoong interrupted, “His best friend is in the hospital, and…I am sure that he’s lying to me again. I don’t believe that things would be resolved so easily. I’m not stupid, and I know that there’s something that he’s hiding.”
“I really don’t think you should be trying to force yourself in this Jaejoong.” Yoochun argued, taking a step closer, “Look, I understand that you feel indebted to Yunho, but know that he needs nothing from you. There’s nothing you can do that can help him right now, okay?”
“He asked me to be his partner.” Jaejoong replied defiantly, “Maybe I’m stupid because I refuse to run away in fear, but I don’t want to abandon him. You don’t know Yunho like I do and -“
“What do you really know about Yunho?” Yoochun questioned as he crossed his arms over his chest, “What has Yunho told you about anything? Jaejoong, please, get the hint. You can’t try to manipulate me with words here, or try to persuade me into telling you details about our organization. Yunho ordered me to tell you nothing, and so I shall tell you nothing.”
Jaejoong’s gaze was cold, and he turned away from Yoochun and began to make his way for the door. Yoochun called out to him, but he refused to listen.
“Jaejoong, where are you going -“
The last words of Yoochun’s sentence were cut off as soon as Jaejoong slammed the door shut.
o-o-o
He walked past doctors and made his way to the hospital room where Changmin was in. Although he had never been informed of which hospital Changmin was confined in, Jaejoong knew that Yunho’s family owned one hospital, so he’d gone with his instincts and had headed there first.
It hadn’t taken much to persuade a nurse to give him the information; all he’d had to do was ask. Jaejoong avoided looking at anyone for too long, and had bought a pair of sunglasses before going to the hospital in order to cover up his face - he didn’t need anyone asking about the reasons concerning his visit.
He slipped past people easily, and no one bothered to pay attention to him. All the people who worked in the hospital were more caught up with their own responsibilities, and didn’t bother to ask him about where he was going.
Jaejoong turned one last corner and slipped into Changmin’s room unnoticed.
The room was much simpler than his sisters’ rooms, and there were no get well presents aside from a teddy bear sitting on the night stand. Jaejoong shut the door behind him, and Changmin tore his eyes away from the television screen to acknowledge his presence.
“I didn’t expect a visit from you.” Changmin muttered as he sat up, wincing while doing so. “Well, now that you’re here, go get me some food from the canteen. I’m sick of what they’ve been feeding me. The only thing that’s good is the chocolate pudding.”
“Thank you.” Jaejoong said quietly, and Changmin merely stared at him blankly. Jaejoong bit his lip, “Thank you for saving me, I mean. It’s because of you that I’m alive, and it’s because of you that -“
“I’m in the hospital, I know.” Changmin replied as he took a glass of water off the night stand and took a sip, “I don’t hold any grudges though since it’s part of the job - besides, you don’t deserve all the -”
“I don’t understand this.” Jaejoong muttered as he balled his fists in frustration. He looked down at the ground before he snapped his eyes up and met Changmin’s questioning gaze, “I don’t understand why you all are so willing to keep going with this. What is it that you get from the syndicate?”
Changmin sighed and leaned back against his pillow. He turned off the television and kept his focus on Jaejoong, “It’s hard to explain, but I’m only in the syndicate for Yunho and for little else. He’s done so much for me and -“
“So you stay because of Yunho.” Jaejoong commented, watching Changmin carefully for any signs that his conclusion was wrong. Changmin nodded in agreement, so Jaejoong continued, “Then why does Yunho stay?”
Changmin shook his head, “I don’t know.” He broke his eye contact with Jaejoong briefly before he met the other’s eyes once more, “Jaejoong…there’s no point looking for answers now that Yunho has shut you out completely.”
Jaejoong made a noise of protest, but Changmin continued, “I understand, you want to help Yunho and you want your own revenge as well, but Jaejoong…” he sighed and shook his head, “There’s no point. Yunho’s on a path that you can’t join him on. He may have swerved off it initially, but -“
“I love him.”
A look of surprise crossed Changmin’s face, and he stared at Jaejoong in shock.
Jaejoong was clenching his fists so tightly that he could feel his nails digging into the skin of his palms. He swallowed hard and looked at Changmin, “I love him, so you have to help me -“
The door opened and Yoochun stumbled in. He let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Jaejoong and immediately shut the door as soon as he took a step inside the room. He glanced between the two other men, “Did he ask you for help regarding Yunho too?”
Changmin nodded, “He did.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” Jaejoong muttered, “I’m not stupid -“
“Oh, so you think you’re being smart right now?” Yoochun snapped, “Think about your decisions wisely Jaejoong. Do you think Yunho’s just in some sort of club? No, this is a vicious syndicate that is more than capable of doing damage when threatened. Yunho’s already put his life on the line for you once Jaejoong. Do you need him to do it again?”
“Are you saying that I should just let him go?” Jaejoong asked, whirling around to look at Yoochun in the eye. “That I should go back to pretending to be entertained with trivial matters when I know that so much is happening in the background?”
Yoochun’s lips formed a thin line, and his tiredness was obvious. “I’m not telling you to let go of him, I’m just encouraging you to wait. Like you said so yourself earlier, things probably aren’t settled yet. Why would you rush back to Yunho when there are still so many other things to deal with?”
“Now is not the time for you to permanently align yourself with Yunho.” Changmin added softly, “You’ll have to wait for some time to pass, and then I promise that I’ll find some way for you to meet Yunho again.”
Jaejoong was silent, and he looked away. “So what am I supposed to do until then?”
Yoochun and Changmin glanced at each other, and it was Changmin who spoke for the two of them, “Go back to your former life, and bury everything that you know about the syndicate until the time is right.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh and began to walk away, but he stopped in front of the door. “And how will I know when the time is right?” Jaejoong asked softly, his hand clasping the door knob tightly.
Changmin was silent for a few seconds before he answered. “There’ll be a sign.”
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Author’s Note: I LOVE YOU ALL. If you liked the chapter, please comment! DDD: I’m in a rush! Sorry, I usually leave better author’s notes, but askjadkj! Bye! XD ♥