(no subject)
What time is it over in Jackie's journal?
Tooth-hurty!
Yes!
Ain't it the fuckin' TOOTH!
Ouch. Sorry about that. The humidity has rendered me too lazy to stretch for any original levity, I suppose.
Anyway, I haven't harped on the crumbling bone structure in my mouth because: 1. I'm saving up my health-complaint allowance for old age, when it's proper to hold loved ones hostage by a harangue about disgusting medical procedures; and 2. even after six months, four dental professionals and one regular doctor later, we still don't know what the hey is going on in there. Additionally, I've had two rounds of antibiotics (FAIL), one viral test (negative, fortunately), and am on my fourth bottle of Peridex (turned all of my teeth a lovely rotten-brown shade). I have been assured that it is not from neglect, as I keep my teeth squeaky-clean. It's not even from my failure to use a night-guard (I keep chewing through them in my sleep so after a while I just gave up), nor my unwillingness to stop picking at what once was my hard palate but now is grey bony chunks working their way out through my gums (to quote the first of two oral surgeons: "Naw. You can't do that kind of damage just with your fingernails".)
Plus, dude? The shit's just gross. All y'all do not need the details (yet, there you have them).
So, my periodontist and my oral surgen had their seekrit conference and referred me to an oral pathologist. You know, before they just start yanking out bones and teeth to send to the lab, they want someone else to put in his .02 about it. Not surprisingly, this third party ISN'T COVERED BY MY HMO. After I got over the initial OMG TEETH AND ROTTING GUM TISSUE WILL HAVE DENTURES AT AGE 41 plus also WHO WILL LOOK AFTER ELEANOR WHILE I GO THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY because, you know, my brain is AUTOMATIC WORST CASE SCENARIO, I tried to FAX the oral surgeon the index-card sized document of pathologists my insurance actually covers, to see if he knew anyone else.
He did not. Instead, he called me to tell me that, as a favor to him and my periodontist, the pathologist will see me pro bono.
*sob*
People need to stop being so damn benevolent. Otherwise, I may be forced to start believing in a Universal Hoo-ha that actually looks out for me.