New Beginnings [_caritas_]
I loved spending time with Xander; he made everything seem more normal, just like old times. Just like that, with smiles and ice cream he made the pain more bearable. He and Willow were the only ones left in my life. Every one else had left me. Yeah, I know I had to deal, but sometimes I just couldn't. But they were both there for me, I knew. They were my family now, they were everything.
Losing mom had been so hard, so hard on everyone, and I remember thinking that things could never get better. And then I found out I was some ancient key that opened some gateway to hell and really that made that summer a real bummer.
But the worse part in all of it had been actually opening that gateway; it had all been my fault because it was MY blood that finally did it. And like always… she was the one that had to save the day, only this time… this time she didn’t come out on top like she always did. And it was all because of me.
Her words still echoed in my head, mostly at night, when everyone thought I was sleeping and what I was really doing was crying. Well, Xander and Willow knew, they gave me the time and space that I needed, peaking their heads from time to time in my room, but I guess enough was enough, right?
Still sitting in my room, I didn't want to venture out just yet. It was too soon, but I knew I had to come out and mingle sometime. I mean, I couldn't hide forever now could I? I mean, maybe I could, but I knew Xander would never let me get away with it... not for long anyway.
But yeah, I guess for now food was definitely a plus, especially when it came to comfort food. As I sat there, finishing up the last of my ice cream, I began to remember all the other times he and I had shared ice cream. All the times that B... she... used to call him to baby-sit because she had some big evil to vanquish or simply just because she couldn't deal with a bratty sister.
But Xander had always been there, and okay, so I didn't mind him as a baby sitter because... hello, he was cute and sweet, and knew all kinds of stuff and just made everything seem better.
"Xander? Thank you for, you know, the ice cream.... and for, you know being here with me."
Losing mom had been so hard, so hard on everyone, and I remember thinking that things could never get better. And then I found out I was some ancient key that opened some gateway to hell and really that made that summer a real bummer.
But the worse part in all of it had been actually opening that gateway; it had all been my fault because it was MY blood that finally did it. And like always… she was the one that had to save the day, only this time… this time she didn’t come out on top like she always did. And it was all because of me.
Her words still echoed in my head, mostly at night, when everyone thought I was sleeping and what I was really doing was crying. Well, Xander and Willow knew, they gave me the time and space that I needed, peaking their heads from time to time in my room, but I guess enough was enough, right?
Still sitting in my room, I didn't want to venture out just yet. It was too soon, but I knew I had to come out and mingle sometime. I mean, I couldn't hide forever now could I? I mean, maybe I could, but I knew Xander would never let me get away with it... not for long anyway.
But yeah, I guess for now food was definitely a plus, especially when it came to comfort food. As I sat there, finishing up the last of my ice cream, I began to remember all the other times he and I had shared ice cream. All the times that B... she... used to call him to baby-sit because she had some big evil to vanquish or simply just because she couldn't deal with a bratty sister.
But Xander had always been there, and okay, so I didn't mind him as a baby sitter because... hello, he was cute and sweet, and knew all kinds of stuff and just made everything seem better.
"Xander? Thank you for, you know, the ice cream.... and for, you know being here with me."