(no subject)
This is not how I pictured my life.
I hate office politics, yet here I am playing them. Dancing around like a puppet for upper management so they can see my "dedication".
I always promised myself that I wouldn't be fake. I promised myself I'd always be genuine, I'd always be myself, even if it cost me a promotion or two.
I hate this. I hate what I've become. This job was supposed to be temporary, but fear has made me stay for...almost a year and a half now.
I hate this state. I hate the friends I've made that can only manage to be friends part time, or only think of me when they're bored.
I hate that nothing in my life is real right now. I feel like I'm floating from day to day, treading water to keep my head up, with no sign of change anywhere in sight.
I miss the simpler days, even if they came with smaller paychecks. At least back then I had a friend to talk to when I needed it.
I hate office politics, yet here I am playing them. Dancing around like a puppet for upper management so they can see my "dedication".
I always promised myself that I wouldn't be fake. I promised myself I'd always be genuine, I'd always be myself, even if it cost me a promotion or two.
I hate this. I hate what I've become. This job was supposed to be temporary, but fear has made me stay for...almost a year and a half now.
I hate this state. I hate the friends I've made that can only manage to be friends part time, or only think of me when they're bored.
I hate that nothing in my life is real right now. I feel like I'm floating from day to day, treading water to keep my head up, with no sign of change anywhere in sight.
I miss the simpler days, even if they came with smaller paychecks. At least back then I had a friend to talk to when I needed it.