Bucket List
dear you-
i wish i had the motivation and energy after all this time to get my feet off this gravel,mud, and sand and make a move. Ive let my feet sink in this quicksand unknowing where the suction stops and the solid ground lies secure in front of me, i think i can see it now. Ive come to the realization that, as cheesy as it sounds, home is where the heart is and i need to let my heart free in order to feel home again. Theres so much to accomplish on this earth, so many lists, due dates, dreams and desires to accomplish is such a short amount of time, the clock is ticking too fast to sink. Why havent i taken your loss and turned it to a new realization? why havent i taken the hurt and used it as motivation? Why havent i seen the way out of all of this when the answer has been spoken to me for the past 5 years... including from the one mouth i always listen to. i think as strong as i may be, my weakness is my strength and independence, I hold so tight to the independence i have that i dont let anyone allow me to turn to them. And, in not allowing people to be there for me, i have kept my heart far to guarded leaving me with no home, the one place i really need when i feel myself sinking. Though there is no physical home for me here, im happy being a wanderer for the time being. I am a transient of the world and i am happy with that title, its time i find a home in myself and allow people close enough to find a home in them, too.
i know i should have listened to you long ago.... lobster.
i wish i had the motivation and energy after all this time to get my feet off this gravel,mud, and sand and make a move. Ive let my feet sink in this quicksand unknowing where the suction stops and the solid ground lies secure in front of me, i think i can see it now. Ive come to the realization that, as cheesy as it sounds, home is where the heart is and i need to let my heart free in order to feel home again. Theres so much to accomplish on this earth, so many lists, due dates, dreams and desires to accomplish is such a short amount of time, the clock is ticking too fast to sink. Why havent i taken your loss and turned it to a new realization? why havent i taken the hurt and used it as motivation? Why havent i seen the way out of all of this when the answer has been spoken to me for the past 5 years... including from the one mouth i always listen to. i think as strong as i may be, my weakness is my strength and independence, I hold so tight to the independence i have that i dont let anyone allow me to turn to them. And, in not allowing people to be there for me, i have kept my heart far to guarded leaving me with no home, the one place i really need when i feel myself sinking. Though there is no physical home for me here, im happy being a wanderer for the time being. I am a transient of the world and i am happy with that title, its time i find a home in myself and allow people close enough to find a home in them, too.
i know i should have listened to you long ago.... lobster.