When (Part One)

[little_inoo]

Title: When (Part One)
Author: me
Pairing: TakaNoo, Inoo Kei X Takaki Yuya
Genre: Romance, Angst
A/N: It's been so long since I last wrote a TakaNoo fic. :) A lot had happened and a lot had changed. But I still love this two. I am somehow inspired by the novel Confess when I writing this. Somehow.

______

He was seven years old when he met him at the playground. He was nine when he was on the roof to gaze at the stars with him. He was fourteen when he drew him secretly on his sketchpad. He was sixteen when he kissed him. And the next day, he was seventeen when a page from his sketchpad went missing with him.


"Kei, go play with the kids." Kei Inoo looked at his mother with his nervous eyes and shook his head lightly. His mother smiled at him and gently caressed his hair. "Go on. You might find a friend there."

He stood up from the bench he was sitting with his mother and hesitantly walked toward the kids playing at the playground. They're running around, laughing with other kids and squealing because of the adrenaline pumping through their veins. He stopped midway and looked back at his mom and saw her talking to someone. He stared back at the children playing. They all seem so happy and so engrossed of playing that none of them noticed him.

He glanced around and saw an empty swing. He walked toward it and when he reached it, he saw down and pushed himself up using his feet. He knew he didn't belong there. A shy kid like him who has a weak personality doesn't belong there. He'll only spoil the happiness of the kids playing there.

"Hello."

He stopped swinging and startled. He looked at the swing beside him and saw a boy looking at him with a childish grin. His hair is the same color as his dark brown eyes. And compared to him, the boy's skin is tanner.

"Hi," he responded.

The boy started swinging while still looking at him. "Why aren't you playing with them?"

His shook his head and started swinging too. He looked down at his feet as it touch both the ground and the air. "I don't belong there.."

He heard the boy hummed so he looked at him. The boy smiled at him. "Where do you belong then?"

He stared at the boy. And he doesn't know why but these words came out of his mouth. "Here..."

The boy nodded and pushed harder, making his swing reach a higher height. "I belong here too." His eyes looked at him with his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"How about Kei? What would happen to the boy? He's just nine!" Kei heard his mother's sister asked.

"When he's old enough, he can stand on his own." He heard his stepdad said. "You'll just take care of him for how many years? Nine?"

He continued crying silently while sitting on the foot of his room's door. Earlier this morning was his mom's funeral. His mom... The only person who cared for him in this household. The only one who showed him love and affection.

"Why don't you take care of the boy?! You're the stepdad!" He heard his aunt.

"He doesn't have any of my blood." His dad replied. "You have his blood!"

He doesn't want to be with any of them! He doesn't want anyone of them to take care of him. He just wants his mom. Only his mom!

A tap on his window distracted him from listening to his stepdad and aunt's conversation. He stood up and head toward his window. He pushed the curtains aside and saw Yuya standing beside his window which happened to be a window of a room on the second floor. His eyes widened and hurriedly opened his window.

"Why are you standing there? It's dangerous, you know," he said as he watched Yuya entered his dark room that was only illuminated by the bright moon. "Where were you standing there, anyway? I don't have a balcony there."

Yuya showed his boyish grin. "There's a metal ladder that leads up to your roof that happened to be beside your window."

"Oh," he silently exclaimed. "The one being used when someone will clean our roof?"

"Yes," Yuya nodded. "That's it."

He stared at the boy. He wiped the traces of tears from his cheeks using the sleeve of his white long sleeves that he wore this morning. "Why are you here? It's already night."

Yuya grabbed his small hand and dragged him toward the window. "I have to show you something."

"And we'll go out through the window? Isn't it dangerous? We can go out through the door."

The kid started going out of the window, grabbing the ladder and ignoring Kei's question. The latter followed him as he climbed up the ladder until they reached the roof. Yuya held out his hand. When Kei grabbed it, he pulled the kid up.

"What are we going to do here?" Kei asked with confusion and uncertainty in his voice.

Yuya lied down the roof and glanced at him. "Just relax and lie down."

He did what the kid said and lied down. He closed his eyes as the cold night breeze blew. He suddenly felt his stomach go cold. He suddenly realized that he's now really alone. His mom left him already. All those truths his him hard which made the tears in his eyes flowed out again.

"I'm sorry."

He looked at the boy beside him and drew his brows together. "Why?"

The boy just stared straight at the dark sky. His arms are beneath his head, acting like a pillow. "About your mom... I'm sorry she...left."

"Hmm, you don't have to say sorry." He stared at the sky too and was amazed at how beautiful the sky was. The bright stars were spread across the dark sky, creating a masterpiece. He felt like he's staring at a huge painting that's covering the whole studio. "Wow," he whispered.

"But you're not completely alone," he heard the kid beside him speak.

"Hmm?" He couldn't remove his gaze from the canvas in front of him.

Yuya's finger pointed the brightest star he could see. "Do you see that?"

"The brightest one? Yeah."

"That's your mom. She didn't leave you alone. She just became a star." He looked at Yuya and saw him staring back. "And you know what? Stars don't disappear in the morning. The sun just shines brighter than them but they're still there."

He felt his heart beat slower and his chest relax. He suddenly felt comfortable. Very comfortable. The dark emotion he had earlier was suddenly gone. Many comforted him earlier. They hugged him while he was crying. Told him that he's gonna be okay. But Yuya... Yuya was the only one who truly comforted him.

"Do you see me?" Yuya suddenly asked.

He nodded with a small genuine smile. "Of course."

"I am here. With you. And I won't leave you alone. Promise."

And he believed in his words. He trusted his words. Because he's Yuya. He is Yuya Takaki.

"Hey artist. What are you drawing?"

Kei immediately shut his sketchpad close when Yuya approached him. He looked at the guy sitting beside him inside the classroom. Their teacher was already gone and their classmates were going out of the door. It's already dismissal time and he didn't even realize it because he was so focused on drawing.

He looked back at Yuya who's raising his brow at him. He shook his head and stood up. "Let's go."

Yuya followed him out of the classroom. They headed toward the classroom where extra classes in English is held. They were already in their sophomore year of their junior high school. And unlike Kei, Yuya wasn't academicalally gifted. Or at least, just in English.

"This will just be quick," Yuya said as he waved at Kei before entering.

Kei opened his sketchpad and took his pencil out to continue sketching. Art has been his favorite hobby since his mother died. And he was good at it. That's what Yuya said when he made his first painting when he was eleven and showed it to the guy.

He looked at Yuya through the open door and saw him staring in front with a bored look. He grinned to himself. If art is his favorite hobby, Yuya is his favorite art subject.

He looked back down his drawing and continued drawing the usual scene of Yuya whenever they're inside the classroom. Chin resting on his hand, lips pursued and some sunlight striking some strands of his hair, making his dark brown hair shine. And his eyes. His half-closed beautiful eyes that are framed by his dark lashes.

He stroke his pencil to perfectly draw the slightly messy hair of his subject. He carefully shaded a part of his neck to sharpen the jawline. Added more details to his eyes because those were his favorite part of Yuya.

After almost an hour, he was done with his sketch. He smiled proudly to himself when he saw Yuya in his work. It really looked like him.

Student came out of the room. Satisfied with his work, he placed his sketchpad inside his bag and stood up. Yuya placed his arm around his shoulder and sighed in relief. "At last! Classes are done!"

They started walking. Kei glanced up at the guy beside him. "Wanna eat at home?"

Yuya grinned at him. "I would love to."

He smiled to himself. This guy beside him has always been there. With him. When his mother died, his aunt stayed with him in that house and took care of him. When he turned twelve, he was left alone because his aunt married that year but his family is still financially supporting him. And the truth is, he had been receiving a lot of money from his family since lots of members are providing for him.

But they didn't know.

They didn't know that money would never be able to replace family.

Since then, Yuya would eat with him at home even though they would only buy foods outside because neither of them knows how to cook. And there are also times that Kei would be the one eating with Yuya's family since it's only a few blocks away his home.

They stopped by a fast food chain and bought their dinner before heading straight home. They settled down their bags on the couch and took out the food they bought and sat on the floor, in front of the low table in the living room. Then, they started eating.

Yuya suddenly laughed which made him shot the guy a confused look. "What?"

The guy shook his head while still laughing. "You're just... You're too reserved. You take very small amounts out your chicken like a very fine guy. You could pig out in front of me, you know."

He felt his cheeks burn. Yuya always notice that about him. "It's actually normal for me to eat like this."

"Yeah but you know, if don't know you, I would lose my appetite seeing you eat. I feel like I'm such a glutton."

He raised his brow. "What's the difference of knowing me from not knowing me when it comes to someone's appetite?"

Yuya showed his smile. His signature boyish smile. "I have a great appetite when I eat with you."

His heart slammed in his chest. "And why is that?"

Yuya just shrugged his shoulders and chewed his food first before speaking. "I guess I just love eating with you." The guy stared at him and he seemed like watching his reaction.

He looked away and put a spoonful of rice inside his mouth. "I love eating with you too."

Kei wiped a sweat that rolled on his creased forehead. He placed his right hand on his waist as he stared at his painting. He raised his right arm again and stroked the brush into the canvass some more. After that, he sighed and put down his materials in a chair beside him. He turned around and looked at the paintings he finished. As of now, he finished almost fifteen since he started when he was eleven. He never really paint a lot but when he reached fourteen, he felt stressed on school and found painting stress relieving. So he turned his mother's old room an art room. And he used his vacation time from school in painting. And mostly, his arts are about his mother.

"You sure you'll spend the night here, inside this room that smells paint and screams art?"

He turned around at Yuya who's standing on the doorway, wearing a black formal suit with a dark gray necktie. His hair is a bit tousled which lessens the formality of how he looks. But well, he looks perfect.

Kei nodded and grinned. "Yeah."

Yuya frowned. "Go to the party with me. I don't want to be there alone."

"Why do you want to attend, anyway? You knew I won't be coming." He raised a brow. "And what's the point of coming? It's just like an acquaintance party. Just to welcome the incoming Grade 11 students."

The guy looked at him like he's crazy but a small smirk is on his lips. "Duh. How am I suppose to get my crown as the most handsome guy of the night if I'm not there?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Yuya smiled.

Kei pointed himself. "Look at me. I'm full of paint. I don't have the time to prepare. And I didn't buy any formal attire."

"Do you think I haven't thought about that?" Suddenly, Yuya raised a dark blue suit from his back. "I told mom about it and she said I can lend you one."

He sighed. "Okay. Wait for me."

Kei went out of the room with the suit to clean himself up and prepare. Yuya stayed on his art room, gazing at his works. He went to his room and removed the paint on his face and arms. And then, he placed his suit on. He stared at himself in the mirror.

Se suddenly remembered his mother's funeral. It was the first time he wore a suit. And it was also supposed to be the last time if he wasn't going to the party. Without any particular reason, he suddenly felt his heart went heavy. Maybe because he remembered his mother again. And up until know, he really couldn't accept that she's gone. But the thought that she's one of the stars above, no matter how ridiculous that is, comforts him.

He went back his art room and saw Yuya gazing at his painting. He smiled to himself. He loved watching Yuya looking at his paintings. The guy always has that awed face. He paints all of the broken parts of himself. And seeing Yuya being amazed by it made him feel a warm feeling inside his heart.

"Come on, Yuya." He said. "Stop drooling over my works."

The guy smirked at him and went near him. Kei squinted his eyes and stared at Yuya's. He saw something in there. Something weird.

He just shrugged it off and they headed out of the room.

When they reached the venue, a hotel, a lot of incoming grade 11 students are already there. There's nothing surprising about it though. Since the party started at seven in the evening and it's already eight.

Both Yuya and Kei took some food from the buffet table before sitting on a table with some of their classmates during their Grade 10 years.

"Hey! I thought you would 't come," an ex-classmate told him.

He smiled. "I thought that too."

When they finished eating, they spent some time talking with their past classmates. Or for Kei, most of the time, listening to them talk.

A classmate joked and he laughed. While laughing, he happened to glance at Yuya who's barely laughing and is just staring at the empty glass on front of him. He stopped laughing and again, he saw something in the guy's eyes. He knew there's something wrong. He already memorized how the guy's eyes speak so he surely knows there's something different tonight.

"Yuya," he called.

The guy immediately looked at him and smiled. "Yes?"

"What's--"

Just as a slow song took over the speakers, Yuya took his hand and pulled him up. He leaned on him and whispered, "Let's dance."

"Huh?" His face suddenly flushed, forgetting about the question he was about to ask. "But they'll see us and what would they say.."

"No. Not in front of them," he said before dragging him out of the hotel.

They kept running until they were meters away from the hotel but can still here the music. The Bermuda grasses are beneath their feet. He stared up and saw the beautiful sky above them. Just like the night when they were on the roof, the stars are spread on the dark canvass like an artist threw them.

"Look at the sky, Yuya. It's beautiful," he said.

Yuya didn't say anything and held his waist. He jumped in surprise and his face flushed. He heard the guy chuckled so he glared at him as they sway along the music. Yuya held his stare and through his stare, he held his heart.

"It's your birthday tomorrow," the guy whispered.

He didn't know why he's whispering but he whispered back. "Yeah."

Yuya leaned forward until their noses touch. His heart slammed in his chest. His eyes immediately shut close, afraid of the guy's reaction when he heard his wild heart. And anticipating...for something.

He felt Yuya's hot breath on his cheek then the guy placed his head on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and heard the heavy breaths of the guy resting his head on his shoulder.

"Yuya?"

They continued swaying.

"I'm sorry," Yuya said.

He frowned. "For what?"

"For not keeping my promise," the guy whispered.

He thought about Yuya's words for a while, searching for a promise he failed to keep. But he can think of nothing. "What promise?"

Yuya didn't speak. He stopped swaying and removed the guy's hold on his waist. He took the guy's face in his hands and looked at him.

Yuya's eyes are closed. He touched his eyelids and it fluttered open. "What's wrong, Yuya?"

The guy smiled a bit and shook his head. "Nothing," he said. But his eyes are screaming something.

"You don't want to tell me?" His voice cracked when he asked that. He removed his hands from Yuya's face and looked up at the sky,

The guy he trusted so much couldn't trust him.

"No, Kei. It's just... It's so hard to tell.."

He shook his head while staring at the sky. "It's okay."

Suddenly, Yuya pulled him. He was surprised by that. But what surprised him more is when Yuya leaned and kissed him. He closed his eyes and let the guy's soft lips touch his.

The moment felt perfect. The cold wind enveloping them but their hearts warming them. The place was empty but the stars are there to watch them. But only if Yuya's eyes screamed differently, the moment could've been so perfect.

"I love you," Yuya said those words so soft like he just breathe them out.

The night went on with the two of them not speaking. But their hands never left each other's. They only stopped holding hands when they reached Kei's house after the party.

"See you tomorrow?" Kei asked with a smile.

It was dark so he couldn't see Yuya's expression. "Yeah."

He turned his back on the guy and went straight the door. He was about to enter when the guy called him. He faced him. "Hmm?"

"Remember what I told you," Yuya said. "I love you. Never forget that. Okay?"

He nodded and smiled. "I will."

He entered the house and went straight his room to sleep.

The next day, when he woke up, he suddenly realized that he's still wearing the coat. And it wasn't his. It was Yuya's! He immediately went up and took a shower. He glanced at the clock and saw that it's ten in the morning. He folded the suit neatly before heading out.

He walked with a smile as he passed by some houses. He's already thinking about where Yuya and him would go today. It's his birthday! He's seventeen.

When he reached the Takaki's household, the house was quiet. He pressed the doorbell but no one came out.

"Oh, young man, I must say, you're already late."

He looked at the old lady living beside the house. He drew his brows together. "Late for what?"

The old lady smiled at him sadly. "The family living there went away early this morning. As far as I know, they're to move to a different place. I just don't know where."

"That looks good," Nana commented.

"Yeah?" Kei stared at the last painting he placed on his art studio.

"Yup," she smiled. "Come on. Let's open the studio. A lot of people are in line outside."

He met Nana when they were Grade 11 at an art club. She was friendly, kind and was one of the new students. They got along because of their love in art. She came from a family who owns condominium towers. After graduating in senior high, her dad offered them to be part of the business which he gladly accepted. During their college years, they contributed some of their paintings in some art exhibits of her father's clients since they're both good and took art related courses in a university.

After graduating, they put up an art studio near one of Nana's father's condominium towers and moved in the condominium tower too. And Nana's father's client helped them.

He stopped receiving money from his family. And he left everything in his old house except for his paintings snd sold it.

When the door opened, a lot of people entered. With smiles, both Kei and Nana roamed around to mingle with the people.

"It's beautiful! I want to buy this!" He heard a lady exclaimed.

He turned to look at the painting and saw his painting of roses and a girl overlapping. He smiled and walked around again. He stopped when he saw a familiar guy staring at a painting.

Yuya.

He's gotten taller. His hair isn't dark brown anymore. It was now golden brown. His built became bigger. And his clothes shouted sophistication.

He moved his gaze into the painting Yuya was staring. And he felt his heart quicken its pace. Yuya is staring at the painting he knew was familiar to the guy. Of course, beneath the streaks of abstract lines and splotches of colors is a guy.

The same guy on the page of his sketchpad.

The same guy who took that page.

And the same guy's who's staring at him.

Kei looked away and shut his eyes tightly. And he remembered suddenly. All the pain he experienced. He left him at the wrong time.

When he's already used to his presence. When he was already convinced that he wasn't alone. When he believed that life wasn't that cruel. When he believed in Yuya Takaki. When he believed that he won't leave. When he was already falling...

That was when he left.

And now, when he's already moving on. When he's already okay. When he's already happy with what his doing. When he's already recovering from the fall, the heartbreaks and the pain...

That was when he came back.

But no. No. His heart won't beat for this guy anymore. Not now. Not in the future. Never. He was there when he was broken and helped him recover only to break him again.

He opened his eyes and walked away, not even glancing at Yuya.