HALLELUJIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Today (or yesterday I guess) will be remember as the day when some poor yuppie tried to get me saved.
Highlights of the conversations:
Toward the beginning we find out that Nathan, The Converter, can not take jokes and thinks that he will be able to change my views on religion.
Nathan (Yuppie Converter): God is in with and under all things
Ashley: i missed that...
Nathan: therfore, god is in you, with you , and under your steps
Nathan: he is always with you
Nathan: dont ask me how he got there
Nathan: he just is
Laura (Innocent Bystander): Geez. Why must I be continually smacked with the reasons WHY I gave up organized religion
Elena (Godless Heathen): I don't want God seeing me in the shower
Elena: how awful
Nathan: he isnt peverted
Nathan: hes Holy
Jess (All Around Awesome Person): i am an Episcopalian
Elena: I do embarassing things in the shower
Jess: but I see no problem
Elena: like play air guitar
In this scene Nathan shows that even us non-christians have things to look forward to, like eternal damnation, and takes the role of salesman. He starts trying to sell me God.
Nathan (Salesman of God): i ahve non christian friends
Ashley: ditto
Elena (Still Godless Heathen): that's good
Nathan: are they going to hell?
Nathan: yes
Elena: really?
Elena: You don't know for sure
Nathan: yes i do
Elena: just like I don't know for sure that you're going to heaven
Nathan: you should
Nathan: read the bible
Nathan: why arent youa christian?
Elena: no
Nathan: WHY arne you a christan?
Nathan: im not trappnig you..i just wann know
Elena: because I don't believe in God
Nathan: why?
Nathan: what made you realize there is no God?
Elena: nothing
Elena: I don't know for sure
Elena: but I don't think there is
Jess (Still Very Awesome): it's quite an icredible concept, really
Nathan: want me to prove it is?
Jess: you can't!
Nathan: yes i can
Nathan: watch
Nathan: and listen
In this next segment we learn that Nathan has never heard of sarcasm. We also learn that Jess is Elena's savior and sticks up for Elena, and people in general.
Jess (Elena's Savior):can you prove everything is done by God, nathan?
Nathan (Person That Would've Been Killed Off By Now If He Had Been Character In Book): hold on im gettnig to that
Nathan: you dont think so?
Elena (Sarcastic Young Girl): I don't think what?
Nathan: like what earthly things cant be proven with sceince?
Elena: um
Elena: I guess how the world began
awatermelonwould: . . .
Nathan: sientifically there was just balls of rock in space that somehow got magnitized and formed together, spun so fast that they became liquid and formed the earth
Elena: really?
Elena: how cool
Nathan: now how do you think these sientific things happened?
Ashley: now how space got there is beyond me...
Elena: I don't know
Ashley: scientifically speaking
Elena: I didn't come up with the theory
Nathan: what allows there to be just enough nitrogen in the air for us to live?
Elena: nor did I specifically endorse it
Nathan: i;ll tell you..
Elena: ok then
Elena: tell me please
Nathan goes on to explain something about toxic spinal fluid that has nothing to do with God.
Ashley: is anyone else wondering why he knows all this random shit?
Ashley: cuz i do on a daily basis....
Nathan: becasue GOD made precautions for it
Nathan: i read books
Rita (Pretend Satanist) has entered the room.
Nathan: and watch discovery channel
Nathan: and ask questions
Ashley: i know but my god....
Nathan: and God made preacutions in our bodies so that we dont die
Nathan: at least form spinal fluid
Elena: do you watch the discovery channel to masturbate to tribal women
Rita (Pretend Satanist): i'm a christian/satanist hey and my religion is the only religion that kicks religious asswoop!!!!!!!!!! ayeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nathan: hahaha
Elena: sorry i had to put deoderant on
Ashley: do you know how wrong that is?
Rita: i masturbate to tribal women
Elena: i know you do
Jess: elena
Rita: because i'm a satanist
Nathan: your messed up my friend
Ashley: he has um..whats that movie....animal house for that
Jess: satanists
Rita: and i love satan
Elena: lol
Mel (The Elusive One): oh man.
Elena: nathan do you like guys?
Nathan: no
Jess: nathan
Jess: can we Save you?
Jess: from Christianity?
Nathan: you can try
Nathan: prove to me there isnt a God and im all for it
Elena: just like you're trying to get me saved?
Elena: just like you "proved" to me there is one?
Elena: Satan RAwwelwks!!!!!111111one
Elena: tee hee
Elena: I'm going to hell for that aren't I?
Nathan: nah
Rita: he's a satanist!!
Rita: he's a satanist@!
Nathan: i say that all the time
Rita: all christians are
Elena: you say satan rawks?
Elena: what kind of a christian are you?
Here Jess frightens me by saying something about murder.
Nathan: sin bodly for Jesus forgives all who belive in him
Jess: if i killed elena
Elena: I hope you wouldn't
Jess: she would go to Hell
Jess: and I would go to Heaven
Nathan: sadly yes
Jess: just because I'm a Christian?
Nathan: yup
Here I try to get Nathan to go to the Boys Kissing community.
Elena: do you like looking at boys kissing, nathan?
Jess: well, if gayness is "wrong" according to Christianity?
Nathan: no, i happen to be straigh as a ruler
Mel: you know
Mel: those new rulers bend
Mel: and could end up crooked
Elena: that's not what I asked
Nathan: its wrong yes but everyone sins
Jess: i love it how Christians used to be the ones that were exiled
Rita: you are such a hypocrite
Elena: I asked if you liked looking at gay boys kissing
Jess: now look at us
Jess: I'm ashamed of my religion
Rita: do you even know what you're saying?
Nathan: do i like it? no doi except it
Nathan: yes
Elena: oh
Nathan: hwo am i a hypocrit
Elena: you should try looking at some pictures of boyskissing
Ashley: *cough*
Elena: it's very relaxing
Rita: if gayness is just a sin but being good makes no difference on a way to getting to heaven how come it says to be good in the bible and that gay people are evil?
Jess: exactly.
Elena: here nathan
Rita: it's supposedly not just a sin it's evil and will not get you to heaven as your text says
Jess: and if it says, in the Bible, that murder is wrong, but we will still get to heaven even if we murder, why bother put it in the Bible?
Nathan: it doesnt say there EVIL, it says that homosecuality is a SIN, like murder, all sins are EVIL, but homosexuals, that are christian, are not EVIL, there just sinners like we all are
Elena: go here Jesus pamphlets
Nathan: you can revice it.. but you have to let go of your hate toward everythign you cant explaim yes you can you can get that feeling. You seem like a bitter person.. im guessing something happened to you that you just dont beilve in god anymore right?
Elena: I love everything
Elena: even you nathan
Nathan: thats great.. as a christan so do i... and i feel sorry for you becasue you wont belive me
Elena: why do feel sorry for me?
Elena: I feel fine
Nothing happened after that aside from Nathan feeling sorry for us and me telling him to read this quote:
"I also respect her because she is deeply principled: She said she would never think of inflicting her beliefs on others and would thank others to pay her the same courtesy."
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot