How To Save A Life: Chapter One
Author’s note.
Summary: Shweir/Sparky. An AU version of Replicarter where Elizabeth is the one duplicated. Set after Common Ground.
Disclaimers: apply to whole fic, will not be stated again. I don’t own Stargate SG-1, Atlantis or anything else. Titles/Lyrics belong to The Fray. This isn’t a songfic. I just suck at naming things. Possible spoilers/angsty references to anything up to Common Ground.
Chapter One
Day One
“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.”
John Sheppard walked across the balcony to his commander’s office at seven thirty in the morning and was unsurprised to find her both awake and working. He stood at her door and smiled, waiting for her to notice his presence. After a few seconds, he saw her hand reach for the coffee cup that normally occupied the empty spot on her desk.
“Looking for this?” He asked, gently waving one of the two hot cups he held in his hands.
She started and looked up at him with a smile as he sat the cup on her desk, sitting in the chair opposite with a smile. “Thanks, John. I haven’t had a chance to go to the commissary yet.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” John said with a grin, lifting the cup just as Elizabeth went to take it. “It’s a bargain, not a gift. You have to take a break and have coffee with me.”
She looked at him. “You know I’m scheduled to go off-world at nine. I have a million things to do before th-”
Elizabeth stopped at seeing John raise his eyebrows, face falling slightly. “I even brought it to your office for you.”
“I’m sorry, John, and I do appreciate it… It’s just…” Elizabeth started, then saw the bright glint in his eyes and knew his hound dog expression was him messing with her. She sent him a glare and looked at the piles of paper on her desk, having an idea. “One of the things I have to do is go over security for this mission with you, isn’t it?” John nodded, dropping the kicked-puppy look. “Then why don’t we do that over coffee?” He smiled and sat her cup down as she walked around behind the desk to sit beside, rather than opposite, him.
“You know, you could’ve avoided all this hassle,” John remarked. “You’re the boss. You can have coffee brought to you if you really want it.”
Elizabeth smiled and leaned back in her chair. “I know. It just didn’t sink in at the beginning so it feels like an abuse of power in some small way now.” She shrugged. “Besides, I like seeing people in the commissary for breakfast.”
He raised his eyebrows, “You actually eat? Meals?”
Elizabeth laughed and was glad suddenly that she had decided to have a break. “Yes,” she nodded, “Every single day, too.” Sobering slightly, she explained, “It gives me a chance to talk to members of the expedition I might not see otherwise. And they talk to me more honestly over dinner than over my desk.”
“So who’s going with you?” John asked fifteen minutes later, after satisfying himself that Elizabeth had had enough of a break chatting about base gossip.
“Lorne and a team of marines you’ve already briefed,” Elizabeth replied, a little too quickly. “I was a little puzzled that I needed to go over these arrangements with you again.”
John put on his best charming-innocent face. “Don’t believe I just wanted to have coffee with you?”
Elizabeth simply looked at him, telling him that his look might work on alien-girlfriends-of-the-week but wasn’t going to get him anywhere with her.
John sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair, wondering how to approach what he knew to be a sensitive subject with Elizabeth. Taking a deep breath, he decided the best option was to do it brutally. She did go off world in an hour so it wasn’t as if he had time to dance around it.
“Lorne raised a few … concerns. About your determination to go off world unarmed. After last time.” What John didn’t say was that his second had articulated them in words commonly used in barracks before he’d even washed the forest mud off his face. An off world negotiation had gone south a few weeks previous and Elizabeth had been in rather imminent danger. Luckily, no-one had been harmed but when John had gone to his second for an off-the-record conversation about it - and he had tried to keep his voice down - Lorne had replied with, ‘Well, she will nearly get shot every time all she has are scientists who can barely hit the broad side of a barn with their nine mils!’
To his reply that this was the point of the security escort, Lorne had muttered a few chosen words about having to point their guns at things that needed shot and not being able to have eyes in his head. John had chosen not to tell him how much he sounded like Rodney during a “we’re screwed!” episode.
Elizabeth had frozen. “I think I already spoke to Major Lorne about that.” She raised an eyebrow very slightly. “I take it he asked you to reiterate.”
John nodded with a small and hesitant smile. “He thought you might listen more to what he was saying if it came from someone more of a command level.” He ducked his head and allowed himself a slightly broader smile. “And someone who isn’t still having nightmares about almost getting you shot in a forest.”
Privately, John remembered Lorne’s exact words. He hadn’t said he was terrified of getting Elizabeth shot, although he was. He had said he was terrified of coming back and telling Sheppard he’d gotten her shot, even though they had been grossly outnumbered and out-flanked. John had told him he had done a good job getting them out alive. She looked at him with an expression that told him to give it his best shot. He knew that look. It was the one Elizabeth got at her most stubborn and usually came before shouting matches with someone, amazingly not always him.
He sighed and hoped he could keep his voice level.
X
There was a moment of silence and they both placed both their hands on opposite sides of the desk, facing off against each other.
Coffee, John thought ruefully. This all started with an innocent, downright friendly cup of coffee. And we’ve been yelling for the better part of twenty minutes.
In the brief silence a young, nervous sergeant came to the door and knocked. They called out for him to enter the office in unison, not breaking eye contact. He snapped to attention as he entered, as if the door was not made of glass and they hadn’t seen him standing casually outside. He stuttered that the security team would be ready to go in ten minutes and left.
Elizabeth and John stood with a joint sigh, looking at the floor and then each other. John started to speak and Elizabeth cut him off, speaking simply and calmly. “I can’t and I won’t.” Her voice was quietly resolute. “You fight for your principles by carrying a gun. This is how I fight for mine.”
John looked at her and very slowly said, “I can understand that. Maybe not agree. And I can’t help wishing you’d carry something to protect yourself, but … I understand.” She nodded and walked out to go to the control tower. John stood in her empty office and sighed again. Sitting down on a chair again, it took a few minutes for him to notice her backpack still on the chair. He left at a run.
Elizabeth was standing in front of the open gate with a faintly embarrassed look. As she noticed John running down the steps with her pack she flashed him a grateful smile, their earlier argument not forgotten but clearly not putting him entirely in the doghouse. Elizabeth pulled on the pack and then attempted to fasten the clips at the shoulders.
“Here, let me,” John said quietly. When she looked at him, he smiled innocently. “Speed and efficiency, ma’am.” She ducked her head with a smile, letting him clip the pack into place. While her head was turned he met Major Lorne’s eyes and shrugged with a look that he hoped conveyed he had at least tried and gotten his eardrums perforated for his pains. Lorne nodded in reply with a defeated expression.
As the escort went through the gate, John watched and hesitantly put a hand on Elizabeth’s wrist before she started to walk towards the event horizon.
“John?” She asked, eyes slightly concerned.
He attempted an open smile again. “For the record, I would take any excuse to have coffee with you. Maybe next time we can skip the shouting and go straight to breakfast.”
She smiled in return. “I’d like that.” Then she turned and went through the event horizon.
X
John was happy to meet Teyla for sparring practice, especially since it meant that his head could stop trying to keep up for an hour or so. Now he just had to make his body keep up with Teyla. Judging by how many times his ass hit the mat in the hour-long session he had failed on that front as well.
Looking at his watch he sighed.
“Do you wish to leave, Colonel?” Teyla asked with a mischievous almost-grin playing on her lips as she helped him up.
He looked at her and spoke between breaths. “I just can’t believe it’s only half ten in the morning and I’ve lost to two girls already.”
As he landed on the mat with a thump again, he realised something in his choice of words was lacking. He met Teyla’s bemused expression. Yep, he thought ruefully. She’s not going to make a diplomat out of me anytime soon.
X
Day Two
The next day, John awoke early and decided on a quiet day. He showered before writing some long overdue mission reports. Elizabeth hadn’t made a big deal out of it, but he knew she would probably need them some time in the next year. Her lack of pestering nowadays hinted he was getting predictable on the mission reports issue. Smiling, he figured she’d be surprised to find them on her desk when she came back.
At about two o’clock, John wandered across to Elizabeth’s office and sat the bundle of reports in the middle of the desk with a small note attached.
You should know I thought about wrapping these in ribbon or something to commemorate the event, but thought it might have been showing off a little.
“No, that seat’s not taken,” John quipped as Ronon sat opposite him.
Ronon squinted at him with a slightly puzzled expression. “You’re pretty cheerful for someone who had the practice with Teyla I’m still feeling.”
John winced, remembering only now that Ronon sparred with Teyla after he did. “No reason,” he replied as innocuously as he could.
Ronon raised an eyebrow and changed the subject. As they were putting their trays back, Ronon told John he was going for a run. John nodded and left to put on his running kit, knowing that informing him was as close to asking him as Ronon would ever come to.
As they neared the end of their circuit the alarm on John’s watch beeped, its metallic sound dwarfed by the dome surrounding the walkway they had ran to reach.
Ronon blinked. “What does that mean?”
“It means the alarm I set went off on time,” John answered with a smirk. Ronon looked at him the way an older brother looks at a little brother. A much younger, more annoying brother.
“And why did you set the alarm?” Ronon asked, curious, as they began the warm-down walk to the central area.
“To remind myself that Elizabeth is due to check in or come back at five,” John admitted.
Ronon checked his own watch. “Sheppard,” He said slowly. “It’s only four twenty.”
John grinned and accepted the bottle of water Ronon offered. “I know that,” he said slowly. “I figured that if Atlantis was falling down without her it’d give me plenty of time to fix it.” He looked at Ronon and gulped the last of the water. “I’ll race you back to the living quarters.”
“Sheppard!” He didn’t wait for an answer, grinning and running. Ronon shook his head and privately thought that Sheppard just wanted a chance to muss up his hair properly before Elizabeth came back. “You always lose,” Ronon said to himself with a shake of his head before starting to run.
X
At five on the dot, a newly showered John stood in the control tower. He’d been there for five minutes already in case Elizabeth called in early. He waited and chatted with the technician until half past. He knew from personal experience a lot of things could stop you making a scheduled radio contact exactly on time and that most of them weren’t running from life-threatening danger. Especially on these negotiating missions. Besides, Lorne was there and newly paranoid about Off-World-Elizabeth.
“Radio me if Dr. Weir calls in?” He asked the technician. “And when it gets to just before two hours overdue?” Again from personal experience, he knew that two or three hours overdue for a check in was a lot less easily accounted for and a lot more likely to be dangerous.
The man nodded and John left to do some reading. At half six and still no word, John decided to grab a quick dinner before attempting to make radio contact with the planet.
Rodney sat down opposite him. John almost said a few of the smart comments he had in mind but didn’t only because his mouth was full of food.
Rodney started to speak, but John broke in and asked him what he’d been up to. As John had fully expected he started to babble on about his latest toy. John only tuned back in when Rodney asked him, “… I didn’t think you’d be happy about that.”
“What?” John asked, puzzled.
“Elizabeth refusing to carry a gun,” Rodney repeated himself slowly. “You know, you could seriously try and listen. Just once. Your life might actually depend on it someday.”
John bit back a grin, “You could try less of the techno babble, more of the point.” He paused. “How did you hear about that?”
“Are you kidding?” Rodney shot back. “Most of Atlantis knows. I know because a gate technician who happens to be on my team happened to be in the gate room while you were screaming the house down and told Zelenka. Zelenka told me when I was working on the jumper shield that I was telling you about… but you didn’t hear that either.”
“Damn gossip sink this place is,” John muttered, realising the time and standing up. Rodney half stood to follow. John turned and raised a hand. “Not if you’re going to techno-rant all the way there.”
Rodney paused. “You’re technically in charge of Atlantis while Elizabeth’s away, aren’t you?”
John nodded. “Your point?”
Rodney grinned triumphantly. “Then it’s your job to listen to my techno babble. So this new shield-”
John raised a hand again and feigned an innocent expression. “But you haven’t even finished your food.”
Rodney looked at the plate and sat back down. “Good point,” he said, taking another drink and looking up to tell the colonel to say hi to Elizabeth for him. The space he had occupied was empty. Rodney looked at a young scientist a few tables over. “Did he just-?”
The young man nodded.
X
While walking briskly through the corridor immediately before the control tower, John’s radio crackled in his ear as he heard the sounds of the gate dialling ahead.
John broke into a run.
“Unscheduled gate acti- Receiving Dr. Weir’s code!” The technician began before another signal broke in, echoing in John’s ears as he took the stairs two at a time to reach the control platform, shouting for the shield to be lowered before reaching level ground.
“This is Weir, I’m coming through under fire!”
Silence filled the gate room and all eyes were on the event horizon. The security team moved into covered positions around the gate room. The silence was broken by energy blasts coming through and slamming into pillars in the gate room.
Then Elizabeth flew through the gate, shouting for the shield to be raised from her position lying on the ground.
As the shield flickered into place, John ran from the control tower to Elizabeth and helped her stand. Taking in the damage quickly, he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding and let his hand linger on her shoulder a moment more than it should have. She smiled in return and covered his hand with hers for a brief second as they heard several impacts against the shield.
“It’s just cuts and bruises,” she reassured him when the noise had faded. She looked away, eyes clouding over for a second. “We’ll feel the team’s loss far harder.”
The two walked to the control tower stairs so Elizabeth could sit down. She looked around hesitantly. As he helped her sit, she quietly said, “Thanks, John.” The young medic who handed Elizabeth a glass of water blinked and paused in his work. Elizabeth seemed to look around, uncertain, before taking the glass and gulping it down. She stood.
“Colonel,” she nodded, and made as if to leave.
John simply stood, mouth slightly open, before running after her. Beckett intercepted her first, however, and caught her arm as she attempted to leave. “Elizabeth, you need to come to the infirmary.” When she looked panicked and looked around the room like the proverbial deer in headlights, John put a hand on her arm. He wasn’t sure where this had come from but if she had seen Lorne and his team die, she would need help.
“I’ll sit beside you, don’t worry,” He tried to reassure her.
Looking around again, Elizabeth nodded slowly. She allowed Carson and John to lead her to the infirmary, still wearing a shell-shocked expression.
X
Elizabeth sat on the bed, eyes wide and unblinking. John had too much combat experience to imagine what she was seeing - he didn’t have to. Both Atlantis and John would miss Lorne sorely. The stoic second in command had become a friend over the years.
After attempting to speak to her and getting no response, Carson came to stand beside John.
“Is she going to be okay?” John asked, already knowing most of the answer.
“Physically, she’s fine as far as I can tell without blood tests or other invasive procedures.” John looked at Carson, remembering Elizabeth’s face going pale at the sight of the needle. “I think she’s just suffering from shock.”
“Seeing the Asurans kill a team will do that to you,” John agreed. Carson looked at him. “From what little she’s said and the blast weapons used in the gate room, it’s pretty conclusive.”
He moved forward and stood in front of her, quietly saying her name. Elizabeth didn’t respond.
“Elizabeth?” This time he made it a gentle question and touched her left hand softly.
She turned to him, green eyes wide and blinking. Carson put a hand over her arm as John sat down beside her and asked if he could take a blood sample. Seeing Elizabeth’s fists clench, John asked Carson, “Doc, is that really necessary?”
Carson looked doubtful. He nodded slowly. “Not today, but I will need one tomorrow.”
Elizabeth nodded and looked relieved, her hands unclenching. “Nanites,” she said softly. “I’m sorry to be difficult, Carson. I just need to rest.”
“I can prescribe you a mild sedative,” the doctor offered, his tone and expression expecting her polite refusal.
“I’d appreciate that,” she replied. When John and Carson looked at her in surprise, she smiled softly as her eyes clouded over. “I want a night of dreamless sleep.”
As she walked out of the infirmary, Carson turned to John. “Did you put sensible pills in that coffee you took her this morning?”
John shrugged with a rueful and distracted smile. He looked at his left palm, a smear of her blood still on it from when he helped her stand in the gate room.
X
Elizabeth picked up her coat and palmed the door to leave her quarters. She put one arm into the jacket but stopped as a squad of marines trained their weapons on her.
Specifically, anti-replicator guns.
John emerged from the squad, eyes cold. She looked at him, eyes wide and trusting. “If Carson needed that blood sample so quickly, he should have told me.”
“Drop the act,” John said, voice icy. “If you have her memories, you’ll know that these weapons are specially designed to turn things like you into dust.”
“Actually,” Rodney interjected from somewhere in the background. “They break down the link between your blocks so you can’t form complex organisms and you’re just-”
“Shut up, Rodney,” John and ‘Elizabeth’ said in unison.
A subtle change came over the being calling itself Elizabeth. She stood a little straighter and tilted her head in a more - John could think of no other word - artificial way. Like a person dancing because they knew the steps but had no idea of the meaning or feeling behind it.
Her voice was slightly amused and curious. “If you know what I am, why am I still alive?”
John met those eyes over the barrel of an ARG and spoke with a low intensity.
“Because you know where she is.”
A/N: hope you like it, second chapter coming soon. Please take a minute to review. And those who also read my Daniel/Vala fic, I’m writing the second chapter as you read …