(no subject)
its finally over. I was really upset and I am still hurt but to be perfectly honest i am kind of relieved, I am afraid that I am going to lose him out of my life forever... I hope he really doesn't throw our friendship out the window though... I am so dependent on him for my happiness that I've forgotten what really makes me happy... when he was explaining to me why, it got me thinking...
I took it out of proportion because like every guy he said that it had nothing to do with me but then i realized that its me too. I have given up on trying. Given up on trying to get guys back when I know they never wanted to be with me in the first place. I've given up on myself and given up on my friends. I realized that i need to figure out things in my life and where i am going. I need to find someone who isn't like Tony, Claudio or any of the other guys who have hurt me... But i don't think its possible to like someone when you don't like yourself. Which is why, I won't look for awhile. I need to find out what I enjoy doing and what I need to do with myself.
Im working fulltime now at Technisigns Inc. I mix paint into colours and I back spray and spray paint acrylic letters and signs. Its a lot of fun, 9.50 an hour for the next week and then i get a raise. Im sorry I haven't updated but I have selfishly been only thinking about myself and haven't had much time for the computer.
I noticed that lately im afraid of change. Im so caught up in everyone that keeps me normal and if someone doesn't want to be with someone then i take it very personally...
I have also concluded that I am very dependent. And I need to be single for awhile to this shit out...
I hope everyone is good at school and I really do miss you all and think about you daily.
I took it out of proportion because like every guy he said that it had nothing to do with me but then i realized that its me too. I have given up on trying. Given up on trying to get guys back when I know they never wanted to be with me in the first place. I've given up on myself and given up on my friends. I realized that i need to figure out things in my life and where i am going. I need to find someone who isn't like Tony, Claudio or any of the other guys who have hurt me... But i don't think its possible to like someone when you don't like yourself. Which is why, I won't look for awhile. I need to find out what I enjoy doing and what I need to do with myself.
Im working fulltime now at Technisigns Inc. I mix paint into colours and I back spray and spray paint acrylic letters and signs. Its a lot of fun, 9.50 an hour for the next week and then i get a raise. Im sorry I haven't updated but I have selfishly been only thinking about myself and haven't had much time for the computer.
I noticed that lately im afraid of change. Im so caught up in everyone that keeps me normal and if someone doesn't want to be with someone then i take it very personally...
I have also concluded that I am very dependent. And I need to be single for awhile to this shit out...
I hope everyone is good at school and I really do miss you all and think about you daily.