Los Angeles Update
It's been a while since I last updated this thing. Well I did come here to Los Angeles with Dada and Rachel. The last couple of days have been odd to say the least. Monday started out on the plane getting here and everything it was kinda cute seeing Rachel on her first airplane and vacation. Then this amazing thing happened Dada actually had a converstation with me. Last time I had a decent converstation with him was a month ago I think. Then on Monday we went to the Disney Music Hall for a concert. Rachel kind of got fussy at that but she had fun none the less. Yesterday though was when it got odd. We went to a couple of museums and tourist locations but we passed by the same alley where my parentes were killed. Dada then some how thought it would be a brilliant thing to take a visit to their graves which are in Holy Cross because we all know that's what I exactly need to see right now.... Going to their graves was bizarre and haunting,they've been dead for nine years now. I think I've only seen their graves twice since their funeral. I'm not going to try to be one of those kids who is ungrateful completely that they don't have both parents with her but I keep on wondering what it would have been like to have a mother with me. I probably wouldn't feel all this pressure and think subconciously that I then need to be perfect for everyone because I myself am a mother. I missed out on that stage of my life where you discover maybe your parents aren't as all great and perfect as we all thought them to be. Because I hate seeing the world as something I have to mother it gets people like me into trouble a lot of the time like my snooping abilities. Hopefuly when I get back to Toronto I can work on this and try not to be so perfect....