Marriage in 1859 New York City

[tinnean]

The year is 1859, the place NYC. My character was seduced and abandoned by her wealthy suitor and thrown out of the house when her father realized the marriage he'd been counting on wasn't going to happen. (The suitor was of higher social standing, so the girl's family weren't able to insist the wedding take place.) And of course she's found

Comments

[nuranar]

I'm having some difficulty understanding the first part of the scenario. New York wealthy society was incredibly proper and rigid in many ways. If this suitor is truly a wealthy man with the place in society that implies, his engagement would have been part of regular society news. (Also begging the question just how low in society *was* she and why he asked her to marry him in the first place.) And correspondingly, his jilting of her would be a rather shocking event. It was more acceptable for the woman to jilt the man than vice versa, although neither course of action was particularly commendable. And in addition, I'm not sure what kind of a father would throw her out; that's really extreme for pretty much any social class. Kept at home incommunicado, yes. Banished to a distant relative in the country, yes. Being thrown out into the street? Wow

[tinnean]

Thanks for commenting

[alextiefling]

Bear in mind that homosexuality as a distinct orientation wasn't a thing in the 1850s; it didn't become a thing even in German- and Latin-speaking intellectual circles until Karl Heinrich Ulrichs became the first person to 'come out', in about 1863. The term 'homosexual' (as opposed to Ulrichs' 'Urning') was coined by the (apparently straight) Austrian civil rights activist Karl Maria Kertbeny in 1869.

[tinnean]

Thanks for pointing that out. I'll make sure not to use the term.

[nuranar]

I understand better about the father. Her running away (for a host of reasons), or being taken away, makes *far* more sense than him throwing her out. And yes, he can explain her absence.

Who is the motive force in the marriage? It sounds like the father, but how would a lower class man even have access to a very protected, very young man? What is the mother doing? She is the one with the money, and her son is a minor. She's protective and has a place in society and a lot of power - there's no way she's ignorant of or ignoring all this.

[tinnean]

I have a feeling this is going to call for a bit of hand-waving. The situation between Olivia and her father, Barron and his mother is pretty much blink and you'll miss it. Having said that, and considering I'm unable to stop fiddling, I'll give some thought to it and see what I can come up with.

[nuranar]

Sounds like a plan. Especially if it's mostly just background to set up the primary situation, it's probably best to keep it simple. Maybe an attempted and then interrupted elopement - a not uncommon event back in the day, with many ways to set up. Good luck! :)

[syntinen_laulu]

And correspondingly, his jilting of her would be a rather shocking event.

If they were actually engaged to be married, it would actually be a legal wrong, 'breach of promise of marriage', for which she could sue him. (I'm astonished to learn from Wikipedia that 'in about one-half of U.S. states' you still can, and that people still sometimes do. It was abolished in England in 1971, but had been more or less a dead letter for decades before that.).

But if there had been no actual engagement, while his behaviour would have been found regrettable there would have been no ill consequences for him. Indeed, his peers might have seen the event as 'greedy lower-class family try to trap rich lad into marriage by encouraging their daughter to seduce him' and been fully on his side!

[nuranar]

Yes to both points, thank you. This is an interesting situation, and the little details are key for determining how it would play out.

Since he's 19, can he be legally sued?