Muslim military funerals; non-Muslims attending Muslim funerals

[swingandswirl]

I have a Delta Force operative, K, who was KIA in either Iraq or Afghanistan in the early 2010s. Enlisted, career Army, and practising but not super devout Muslim. Everything I've ever read about military funerals has been Christian in nature; is there any protocol for a Muslim servicemember

Comments

[anonymous]

Well, I can only speak from personal experience, but as with any religion, practices vary depending on sect and culture. A Muslim from Africa who is Sunni will have a different practice than one who is from a Shiite sect in Pakistan, and so on.

However, my experience has been:

--we bury within 24 hours, unless there is some extenuating situation that prevents this
--the initial thing is bathing the body, which is done by members of the same sex--ie. a woman's body will be bathed by women, and a male body by men--usually family members / close friends of the family or deceased, and you don't say no if you are asked to be a bather (well you can, but it would be extremely insensitive)
--the body is then wrapped and buried. Only men attend the burial--but there is no requirement that only members of the mosque/family attend.
--Women stay home and pray while the burial is taking place and do not go to the cemetery, although they can after the burial if they want
--The body is placed in the grave so the head is toward kabaa.
--there is a service at the mosque after the burial, in the evening (the burial is in the day) Specific prayers are said at that service
--in my community, we hold a service the day of the burial (so that evening), three days after, and then nine days after. There is a final service on the 40th day, and then usually one on the first year anniversary.
--the family (blood relatives of the deceased only, so by marriage does not count) do not bathe at all until after the third day service. During that service, everyone in the community offers condolences to the family by embracing them, and it is after that they can then bathe.

Male friends of the deceased would be able to join the family and community at the burial, and could be invited to any of the services, which may take place at the mosque or in the family's home, depending on what they choose to do.

If you can't attend the service, it is traditional to visit the surviving family member at home and say a prayer, and then offer your condolence (by embracing them) at that visit.

Hope that helps a bit!